 Believe me when I tell you, I have made the mistake of trusting people way too easily, jumping into these so-called friendships, expecting people to be friends forever, and then literally a few weeks later you get left, and you get hurt, time and time and time again. I have been hurt a lot more than I care to admit, and I don't think it's any secret that I don't exactly have the most abounding social life ever. Today I wanted to talk to you a bit about the aftermath of these friendships, and I want to share what I've learnt because I know I'm not the only one going through this. Hey what's up you guys, welcome back to my channel if you're new here, hi, hello, I'm Lydia, I make videos talking about mental health, chronic illness, and occasionally videos of monkeys on cars when I get to a supply park. But today I'm talking about toxic friendships and moving on afterwards, and I'm not supposed to hear and slay it when I fall out with or talk about the ins and the outs of why are we people fall out with me and why I fall out with people. That's not what this video is about, learn from my mistake. If you are anything like me, you are too trusting, you overshadow, you will be friends with anyone because you don't want to be alone. You will go to all variations of extremes, just to try and make one person feel comfortable. So let's talk a bit about this, and let's talk about the last friendship that happened in. I, as you guys know, if you haven't seen the previous videos, I was recently diagnosed diabetic and I've been in and out of hospital trying to deal with highs and lower blood sugar, and it's no secret that I've been struggling with it. And I was in hospital a week ago overnight, and I wasn't answering messages, I was terrified because I haven't, well at that point I hadn't been admitted to a medical ward in seven, it's been a long time, and I found it really emotional. I basically didn't answer an Instagram message that I didn't see, and someone fell out with me over it. Of all things, you could fall out with it over, me not answering an Instagram message. If that's really gonna cause the end of a friendship, then I'm glad we're not friends. This friendship caused me to think a lot about who I have in my life, the friend that I have, who I associate with, so when you lose a friend in any circumstances, whether it's a close friendship you've lost, or an online friendship you've lost, it's still hard and emotional, and you are gonna feel things about that that some people don't understand. There are some important things I have here to say, is know who you are giving the information to. Don't give out your address to random people, don't give out your phone number to people you don't know, don't give out your full name to people you don't know. You have to learn to protect yourself, and this isn't what I'm hopeless of doing. I trust way too easily, and I let people in my life so fast that often or not I don't really know who I'm friends with, and it's no secret I've made a lot of mistakes when making friends, everyone makes mistakes. So, what's your thought today about moving on from a toxic friendship? I think the first thing you need to do is rationalise what actually happened, and if it's like what might I want for it, because I didn't answer an Instagram message, and this person pieced out basically on the friendship, and I'm just like, maybe the kind of people you're associated with, if people are willing to drop you over something as small as an Instagram message, aren't they real friends, or are they people who are just there to get your attention, and are there to use you? The person I fell out with, I spent a lot on, and you know, I felt hurt afterwards. I really did. It's okay to be angry. Friendships are hard, because there's no right or wrong way to make friends with people. Most of the people I know are now people who I met in hospital, and they've seen me my worst, and this is such a cliche thing to say, but if people can't respect you or your worst, then you shouldn't let them be around when you are at your best. You need to also set boundaries in friendships. It's okay for you to go separate ways. When you're friends, it's normal to feel like this friendship lasts forever, but just like in relationships, how you move on when it breaks down, friendships work very similarly, and it's okay to move on. It's okay if things don't work out. It's okay if you don't think the friendship is worth it. I think it's important to always be honest and true, so if you don't want to be in a friendship someone, if you don't want to talk to someone, just saying it is less hurtful than not saying it and faking it. You need to focus on healthy relationships, so people you've known for a while, people who support you, people who actually care. Give yourself time to move on. Don't think that you have to get any friendship over, don't think you have to move straight onto someone else. That is not how friendships work. It's kind of a believing process. You miss that person as a friend, and you will wonder what you did wrong and what made them not like you, and honestly, you are never gonna have those answers. No one is ever, no one's gonna say, and that's coming from years of experience. It's okay to be upset and sad. When you can tell a friendship is fizzling out, the best thing you can do is reduce it slowly and be honest. Honesty really is the best policy in anything, but especially with any kind of relationship. Often on an art, friendships end when there is a breakdown in trust, and it can cause so many personal issues with anxiety, stress, and not wanting to open up and often get trapped in a toxic friendship. It can make you distrustful of others because it just makes you not want to trust people. It makes you not want to get close to people because you want to protect yourself from getting hurt again. Moving on is about healing. Nothing ends without pain and without friendship, relationship. I don't know, anything. It ends with pain, and you're gonna have to take time for yourself. While you're healing, don't take it out on other people. Don't take it out on the toxic person. Write it down, get it out, but don't hurt people because you've been hurt. Another thing that I'm gonna say that people might disagree with is forgiveness. If you have the capacity to forgive someone that makes you 10 times better than someone who never forgets, never forgives, and if you can't forgive, it's very unlikely you're gonna be able to move on. But what I want this video to be about is I don't want you to think friendships are just going to end. I wanna reassure you that yes, friendships will end, but there are plenty of friendships out there and people who make you feel bad are not worth your time. My top thing to say in this is be careful what you share. Know who you are friends with and know the risks of opening up. Now, I'm not gonna tell you not to share your story, not to speak what's going on. You have to be careful in what information you put out but because there are a lot of people who will do anything to use that against you. And without naming names, most of you know this is what happened to me the last two years. And with that, I am gonna end the video here and I hope you learned something from this. All around, I just want you guys to be safe.