 Hey you guys so the girl finally got rid of that um There was my butterfly pillow was back there in the way and my camera was Functioning and girl there's not even the word I'm looking for My camera was zooming in on my pillow When this hose was be zoom in on me So y'all I'm getting ready for a birthday party just to go across the street, but um I'm be cute for the birthday party and the children We're gonna talk about kids a little bit y'all And we don't have kids you may not want to hear it, but I just Maybe I'm country. Maybe this is that's what it is, but I just feel like We Expect too much from kids sometimes and then oftentimes we as parents We don't trust our kids Enough and that's so it's almost like a two-fold thing and it can be a little bit as a parent um It could be frustrating and it's it's A balancing act, so we're gonna be doing my makeup It's just gonna be a light neutral bead because Okay, baby um You know, I'm gonna be handing out book weapons today to everybody. Everybody can get it I know y'all like that ain't supposed to be talking about one of the things I want to talk about is Life skills for your children Um, I just feel like not necessarily JB's generation, but like my niece's generation like these kids that are like 15 to 25 right now Hell, let's go up to 30. Some of these kids don't know hardly anything Um, we expect for first of all, let me let me back up and say this I think that the parents are the first educators So Oftentimes I see comments like they should be teaching this in school I agree. We should be having you know financial fitness at home. I mean, excuse me at school however, I think that the first lessons should come from your home And by leading as an example, okay? So I also saw a thread that someone shared from east Texas from Longview specifically and it was a school Somewhere in the south where it's for high school students and this particular high school Puts on this little conference. They have like a banking area a car dealership area they have um Daycare and the kids are giving a budget And they're to go to these booths and to spend their money wisely and to see how much money they have left over And they actually bring people from the community to represent these different areas And I think that's very smart that schools do that. Um, and at the same time I really do think that as parents a lot of this a lot of this should start in the household um, I also saw another thread from a mom who was like She was a little um afraid to have the talk and we know what the talk is when it comes to puberty and um and through uh Just having the talk and she and the the child is I believe her her child is 12 years old And the little girl was already asking questions and I'm like 12 years old Y'all should have started this earlier the I'm sorry, but you should you should have started that discussion earlier age Appropriately 12 12 years old is a little like hell when I was in school. I remember um Foster middle school and that was a 12-year-old girl pregnant Those discussions should be started very early in my opinion age appropriate and I get that it is uneasy I get it can be embarrassing for you as a parent But I would rather that information come from me Rather than from shekwan and daemon at school. You know what I mean? So um Yeah, I gotta start talking to your kid. I feel all day. So What do y'all think about that? Do you think that you know I mean just give me your give me your thoughts about that and I remember I remember being in school And they divided the girls and the boys up the girls went into wrong room the boys went into wrong Well, they even gave us like Many pads and stuff like that and they discussed puberty and I could tell excuse me I could tell that the teachers were a little bit embarrassed about it. So all of those discussions Should start at home again age appropriately Using correct terminology like when I talk to jb as young as five six y'all Fick five and six years old about our body parts. I don't say we we pee we two You know, whatever nickname it's his penis Penis we don't say, you know, we don't use any code names. It is what it is Um, same thing of vagina. So funny. Remember he was around four three or four years old And I was going to the bathroom I can't believe I'm in meat mitten to this I was going to the bathroom and he saw me get he saw me, you know, get up and he was like He looked at me. He was I think y'all he was like three or four He was like three and he was like Where's your penis? I said, baby, I don't have a penis. Mama has a vagina he's like But how do you pee if you don't have a penis as a jb? I have a vagina and that's how I pee So he's like, but don't you need a penis to pee? So he was relating penis with peeing And then he was saying stuff like, uh He would say, yeah, I saw mama um Her her her bottom part it looks like a mountain I said, what? He said, yeah, that's like a mountain. I'm like, okay, you know what you you you can't be in here When I'm going to the bathroom get you you stay out stay out say yo But I the children will follow you everywhere child. So yeah, you're gonna start talking to your kids. I know my one my um Best friend her little girl was going through puberty and she had her cycle and she was like, oh my god I have to have discussed this this discussion with from the girl you better Yeah, I remember the discussion my mom had with my sister and I I think we I think and again She was young when she had us. So and you know Her mother died when she was young. So she didn't have an example So my mama was basically like 11 years old 11 or 12. And so she she's like, okay So she's like, you know, if a man lays on top of you you'll get pregnant That is exactly what she said y'all she said if a man lays on top of you and you allow him to put his thing in you You'll get pregnant So I didn't know anything about semen. I didn't know anything about the pregnancy Anything I just you know from that discussion. I got the okay She didn't say anything about protection. She didn't say anything about nothing. Ciao That was the discussion we had. So yeah, um Girl, I know people are not looking forward to it, but you got it. You have to do it. You you want to prepare your child um That way you can say you dig your part as a parent, you know, that is what parenting is about and you know, so And I honestly feel like it's discussions that should be In my opinion is not a discussion you should have once And that's it. It's something you should be talking about On a yearly basis and I say going through puberty you need to be up in those discussions. Um I'm even with jb being eight years old. Like I said, we talk about the different body parts Um, he's of course, he had the questions about, you know, how are babies born in my child? I don't know in the collard greens, you know collard greenfield. Um I verbatim said a man plants a seed in a woman's body and when that seed grows It turns into a baby and so, you know, the beauty of me homeschooling is that we will be talking about Body parts and we will be talking about the reproductive system. He already has seen pictures of this type of stuff Um, we will be talking about the reproductive system and all of that I will say this though. I think it's way easier nowadays to Deal with boys than girls, honey These girls and these attitudes like everybody I know that has a girl Newly everyone I know that has a girl is like the attitude is out of control Out of control the boys seem to you have problems now and until 12 You know, they seem to be a little bit better than the girls In the teenage years at least from the people that I know. So I'm crossing my fingers that my baby doesn't give me any issues I didn't You know, they say that you get paid back. I was a pretty good kid. You guys honestly, I was No, my husband, I don't know how his ass was. So if anything pop off, it's because of him You know, we already know it's because of his ass. So y'all there's that and then I was in the wife code group. Oh girl, we're gonna talk talk something else about building men Getting with these men. You have to build a we're gonna talk about that in a minute So y'all let's y'all kids be kids someone shared a picture of a baby She's a baby to me. She's a little like she's around five or six years old She had pink dukey braids that were to her waist Let your children be children and um One thing that is is Something that I really am learning to do with JB is that with JB when he gets hurt Girl black parents sometimes when he gets hurt. I'm like, you fine. You good. Get up. You good No, he's not fine. If he's crying. I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna console him um, because I don't want him growing up as a young boy and not being able to What am I trying to say y'all not being connected with those feelings? Because if there was a girl I would oh rush over if he gets her You know, we treat girls totally different. Sometimes even when he gets hurt I let his father console him and I go to your father and let your father love on you I think that's very important if you have a male figure in your life And so when he gets hurt absolutely now, I don't baby him. That's totally different But when he gets hurt and he's crying real tears, I can tell by now He's crying real real tears and he's hurt I make sure that he's okay and then we move on and nine times out of ten as soon as one of us You know, let him know he's fine. He's okay It stops it sooner. You know what I mean, so um Yeah, y'all I learned from miss delightful. Hey girl. One of the things I learned from her She she didn't know this till I told her I've learned a lot from you sis. Um Apologize to your kids when you do something wrong when you're in the wrong and you've done something. Apologize I think jay b would be okay jay b is a very empathetic child. He's very compassionate You know, he's the vegetarian because of that Because he cares for animals. He told me once the animals have souls and it's not right for us to eat them I said, well, sure. I'm about to fry this chicken son Oh my god, yeah, let your children be children. Um We still are careful with how much screen time jay b watches He does it really I mean he has this tv that he watched mostly youtube But um It's so funny when he goes in place with other kids. They are on games They are just so And he wants to play and a lot of these kids are so into their Gadgets, you know, he has them, but we try to limit it um So, yeah Girl this wife group Child Y'all i'm i'm gonna be messy Child i'm in this wife group Y'all give me let's let's give this woman some advice. Let me read this thing to y'all. I cannot believe why do we do this? Why do we as women get into these relationships? because we you know Because we I don't know we out of loneliness. I don't know. Let me read this to y'all My husband is not a great husband. He's actually terrible He's lazy and when I call him out, he gets mean. We've been together for nine years married a little over one year I'm eight years older than him and established in my career Plus my lifelong dream of being an author has taken off with four books published in four years When we first met I had a house a career a retirement fund was actively involved in charity work. Yes, sis I raised yorkshire terriers and was teaching myself how to decorate wedding cakes as a hobby girl I was quite fulfilled Okay, then what's the problem? Oh, you needed a man. Okay. He was living in his panic parents Attic working a minimum wage job and played video games drink excessively and that was about it Were an unlikely match, but he was kind and that's what matters letter I'm sorry. Y'all. Let's start over from the beginning. If you don't want to hear you don't have to hear it. All right y'all Here we go What was okay when I first met I had a house a career, you know, she was writing her books doing charity work. Um Raising some dogs. She's had everything He was living her home with his mama working a minimum wage job Unlikely match, but he was kind and he didn't transition into adulthood very well because his mom did everything for him He would throw clothes in the living room floor and she'll follow him cleaning up his messes I thought he'd eventually change to a point Um, but I saw someone who needed out of mom's house immediately. He was a nice smart guy and he was throwing his life away We dated for a few years and I helped him apply for college He had no clue about loans and such and then I said I'll support him if he wanted me to so he could finish his degree He moved in and was a full-time college got a 4.0 and things were great. Hey, man But he wanted to be a teacher and an author like me So he quit school just to make sure Um, that's what he wanted and got a job working as an instructional aid. Okay He writes every day, but I'm not sure he understands the industry I tried to explain to him how publishing works y'all y'all y'all He only works 28 hours a week and makes 12 dollars an hour I work 60 to 70 hours and carry our benefits and pay for everything I buy him a car. I buy him everything he needs. I buy him an ipad beats ipencil He wants for nothing. Of course. He doesn't because your ass is buying him everything We agreed with him working part-time and not going back to school He'll do the majority of the big housework and yard work He's safe his money to finish school. We can live off my income. He does nothing He does nothing he complains about how exhausting his five hour workday is There's always piles of laundry dishes in the sink. I get a warning from my what? Oh, she's getting warming warning from like the hoa that we need to cut the grass to pay a fine His response says I'll do it later I've had an emotionally draining year yada yada yada. I have two books. Okay. So what does she say? um I'm in a loss any advice what makes Child I can't I can't I can't deal with this type of this this You basically took the role of his mama Am I wrong? Where am I wrong? Right y'all. She took she took the role of this man's mama He was already living at home. You bought his loan. You bought him a car You helped him get into college. You know you helped him buy all his iPad out whatever now. He wants to be an author You got you a mama's boy What you need to do is take back all your shit And let him live in with his mama. Here's my girl as soon as she got here. His mama was probably happy She was ecstatic. She's like amen Yeah, y'all You your life was fulfilled This is my thing. How does someone like this a caliber caliber of a woman meet someone Like that So somewhere and come in the comments She even wrote I understand but when he touched me it just felt good. So he got that gold peen. You know what I mean girl He he's throwing it down. She's probably speaking in tongues and everything like seriously. So no You got to bring more than that to the table Girl, please send him back home to his mama take his stuff away. She wants to know what she should do y'all What would y'all advice her to do? Huh? Do you think the marriage can be so it's not even about it's the man Like ain't no grown man. She didn't even give his age, but she said she was eight years older than him Ain't no grown man gonna change just out of the blue like that Especially if he's used to you do why should he want to do anything if you've been doing everything for him Why would what is the encouragement to do anything? He got a roof over his head. He got a uh living maid He got sex on it on a regular basis What's So What I would be very surprised he's probably not smart enough to do this, but you never know She better hope you don't hit her up for spousal support Especially since you know, she's accomplished seems like she's been very successful And he's just sitting up here Not doing anything Y'all let me hurry up with my hair and makeup because the baby's supposed to be over here Next door in like 10 minutes and look at my hair Yeah, let me just say this. There's nothing wrong with getting with someone who is you know starting out and Um, you know just just not necessarily struggling But as long as they have potential like when I'm with my husband, of course, we were all in college Um, and he told me, you know, some of the things that he was trying to do Wanting to do and what I saw in him was potential So, yeah, my husband's really good with his money because child some one of us have to be good Thomas is out here looking sad. So let me go ahead and put on my clothes and we'll go over Yeah, I'm so petty. I sent a message today. She's running the um The azine um natural hair expo and I say let me know what I can do. I'm so sorry. Yeah It's like next weekend. I'm like, let me know what I can do, but I could also sit around and be pretty Girl, are you gonna help me or not? All right, y'all, let me go ahead and get these babies across the street. Bye y'all