 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia Why are you so gay mama? Why not? A good reason why not? Oh, I wish Mr. Paradiso would hurry and get here Contractors can be so slow Especially if anything needs fixing you'll be here any moment now. You've been saying that for the last two hours Claudia it's not such an emergency. It isn't the back porch sagging like an old sock It's already almost time to meet David at the station that late just tonight when it'd be easier to stay home We're driving out to dinner good stay here. There's a steak in the ice box David's been planning this for you and we can't disappoint him anyway. I love driving way out in the country Why is it I wonder that every time you talk David into leaving the car at home life gets complicated come on mama Let's go out into the driveway. Maybe that'll lure mr. Paradiso faster steak night there, but I'll try and listen Take your pocketbook so as soon as mr. Paradiso gets here. We can fly off to the station. I knew we'd end up flying. Oh Poor David the one part of the house. He didn't think needed immediate fixing up was the back porch Well, maybe it's not too serious with a house anything wrong is serious with your budget anything that costs anymore is tragic How right you are? Hello rooster Sweet isn't he mama adorable? Is that mr. Paradiso Hello, hello, mr. Paradiso came as fast as I could get away hate to think of your coming slow Hello, mr. Paradiso. Oh, hello, Mrs. Brown. Good to see you up here. It's good to be here Now let me see excuse the call you said the back porch gave way Let's have a look at it. How did it happen any extra weight a mama who's going down the back stairs mr. Paradiso Don't you dare blame it on me and they gave way. That's all come down, Mrs. Don your mother looks like a very light stepping woman. Oh, it's not mama's fault completely Well, we'll have a look at it. There it is the left corner Saging is right The whole porch looks like we're going to sit down. It is going to sit down What's the matter with it? Well, I have a good idea But I'd better pull away this lattice work and give it the once over from the inside. You're going underneath Is it it better baby cuz here I go stand back Claudia. I think it's going to happen to me mama Oh, Dave is going to be so disappointed. He's so hope we wouldn't have to touch this side of the house Well, mr. Paradiso, what do you see? Yeah, just what I thought Yeah, that's just what it is. This is just like going to the dentist Of what? Well, exactly what's happened The corner post and the columns are rotted through so they call that oh, no Yeah, and they just don't look any too healthy either. Oh dear. Howdy. Are you look as if you understood? Don't be silly I'm not the wife of an architect for nothing. I've absorbed What about the studs mr. Paradiso you've absorbed and I'm impressed Go on mr. Paradiso. Well, Mrs. Norton We're going to have to tear down the whole back porch and stare at brand new Land of foundation put in new column that's a major operation. It is indeed poor David Every time he comes back home his dream is a little more of a nightmare David say mama. We've got to get to the station Mr. Paradiso can we just leave the port sag overnight? I'd rather not I think we ought to keep it jacked up till we tear it down You mean jacked up with a jack well that of course is the best and simplest thing to use if you've an extra one around You will have the one out of our car you have to but heaven's sakes. Why do we need to well you have four tires on a car? Very funny. Oh, look, we've got to hurry. I'll give you our jack mr. Paradiso Claudia You know David has told you never to take the jack out of the car. This is an emergency our house is teetering Besides, we're not going to need it. Well, uh How can you be so sure? We had a flat tire last week just a few weeks ago So I don't expect we'll need another for quite a while. Do you well that sort of prediction is not my line, mrs. Norton, but the odds would be with you then that settles it. We better hurry to mama Just help yourself to the jack mr. Paradiso mom and I have to meet David at the train I hope he isn't going to be too upset. Oh, I hate to have to tell him about the That's about all mr. Paradiso said David that's all What more did you want darling? You're not upset. Are you? Not at all. You see mama. I told you it'd be upset. I didn't expect him to be exactly hilarious Maybe we shouldn't have told him until after dinner. I think this was better And I won't be so extravagant about dinner Are you two ladies having a good time talking about me in front of my back? Wonderful, aren't we mama? Well, you can stop worrying right now whether I'm upset or not I've got a New philosophy tell me I could use some from now on. I'm going to expect the worst Anything anything better than that is going to be a pleasant surprise And I'm never going to be upset again. How's that trouble is there never is a pleasant surprise You two are just a couple of gloomy gussies. Let's talk about something pleasant. Mama's right Where are you taking these for dinner? Gus? To a very pleasant little land I used to drop in on when I was a carefree young lad Quite a few miles out into the country toward Danbury the middle of nowhere Sounds awfully pleasant I'm starved Doesn't the air smell wonderful Smells of air nice and fresh and sweet Take a deep breath mama if you're allowed me to sit in the back seat I might be able to don't tell me you'd rather breathe and be sociable with us It's a hard choice, isn't it? The woman has a salty wit. Hasn't she though? Old David look look see look at that poor man there by the side of the road. He has a flat tire Well, it won't take him long to fix all the same. It's it's no fun There are other things that I prefer to do besides fixing a flat tire, but it's really no great calamity No How do you like this, uh, this back road I'm bringing you off. Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? Wonderful to have a car and chauffeur chauffeur and such a chauffeur Evening like this makes up for everything including the sagging porch An open car Sunset Driving my family out to dinner. I like being part of your family David Nice to have you as part of our family mrs. Brown me too Oh, David Life is so perfect When people let it be let's us let it always Roll roll roll your car. Come on mother. You're both fools nice fools, but fools Roll roll roll your car gently down the road your car gently down the road David did you hear something? What's the matter? Why are we stopping? Yes, I think I heard something is it something with the car A flat tire David it can't be are you sure I will be in a moment It can't be David. We had one just a few weeks ago. That's a fine reason, but it doesn't work that way Well, is it and just when everything was going so perfectly Well Nothing left to do but change it I'm certainly glad I had the spare gone over last week. Honestly, it's not fair A flat tire and the sagging porch all in the same Well, what do we do with the jacks under the porch too late now to remember you better tell David Your mother you hold my coat it'll only take me a few minutes mom. I can't tell him why not I don't know how who just tell him What are you two whispering about where we whispering? All right. All right. All right. You weren't we weren't there's a good thing I'm such an expert at changing tires. That's all I've got to say Well, you're going to have to be very expert. I don't need your help. Thank you It's much easier to do it alone. I I think you might need someone to hold up the front of the car though Sweet of you to offer dear, but you and mama just stay seated where you are You coward. I just don't know how to tell him. Do you want me to? No mama. No now wait Oh poor david. He's going to be so terribly disappointed That is hardly the word to describe how he'll feel but you would lend the jack to mr. Parrot It's all too easy to say that now now that it's wrong might as well tell your husband before he tells you He's finding out Mama, it's your fault Why did you let me why did I well you you you didn't stop me? Oh here he comes. I can't find the jack. You can't. Well, that's queer, isn't it? Did you put it inside the car? Me? No, no, no, no, no, that's not where I put it. I remember seeing it just yesterday I saw it today just this afternoon. Mama, if you tell me I'm trying to say now What's going on here go on claudia the worst he can do is to ring your neck Well, I don't see why you're blaming me. It wasn't my fault the back porch had to say The back porch and we had a flat tire just three weeks ago. You know, we did go on tell me everything David listen lightning is not supposed to strike twice in the same place or in the same day Is it claudia? Are you trying to tell me? Yes, david Did you took the jack out of the car david the back porch was sagging and the jack is holding up the back porch Is that it? Oh darling? You're so bright. How'd you guess? No, don't try flattery, please Didn't I didn't I didn't I don't get excited david never tell you to take the tools out of the car This was only a jack david grant me patience. Why can't women leave things alone david listen to me What do you love most our house or a silly old tire? That has Nothing to do with nothing except I love the house and if it's a choice between the house and the tire Well, I jack up the house any day, wouldn't you? Well, I I knew you'd agree with me darling And that you'd have done exactly the same thing yourself. I would have of course and it's only right So david you don't have to be embarrassed or apologized to me not in the least I don't not even for having lost your temper But what I didn't lose my temper one two three mama. What's all this arithmetic? I'm counting while david does not lose his temper mother. Give me my coat david. What are you going to do war? I am not I'm going to take my pipe and I'm going to sit down and smoke it for the side of the road But I'm hungry. Well, that's just too bad We're going to wait until that lucky man who had that flat tire comes along I know him and I know he had a jack And I also know that he does not have a wife You two One two three If you worked in an office or a plant instead of at home You'd step over to that familiar red cooler for a nice cold coca-cola when relief time came Just because you make your own hours and your own work rules That's no reason to deny yourself a little refreshment now and then You'll be all the fresher for a nice cold coca-cola and a little relaxation Try it and see Same as to king. How long do you think they're gonna have to sit by the side of the road? Not too long. I trust you heard claudia say she was starving If my wife ever took my jack out of the car and didn't tell me I know me too But then it's not very often that the back porch caves in and you get a flat tire the same evening Still, I think the noughtons are safer eating dinner at home. That's exactly what they do tomorrow night I understand they have a new maid. Gertrude. That's right. She lives just down the road apiece Is she working out well in some ways? Yes and in some ways? No But if you come around tomorrow, you will find out whether claudia and david think the yes is Outweigh the nose. Well whether gertrude stays or goes. I know it'll be fun. So I'll be here tomorrow So long mr. King goodbye mr. parody. So as I was about to say Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying or of war And remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes And ice cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola