 Hey everyone, how's it going? Quite a cold night tonight. I've got a good message for you This one's especially for the ladies. It can be really tough When you've Being in a relationship with a narcissist When you've come out of it You might feel afraid to trust someone again, and that's perfectly understandable and while our past experiences Can help us And being cautious about what might happen in the future. I believe that we shouldn't Define the potential future By what we have experienced in our past Not everyone is going to be the same There's guys out there Who will be worthy of your love and attention? Guys who will respect you Guys who will be there for you when you need them, and I just think that that's something Really important to remember, you know, there are still good guys out here There are still people who do care and You've just got to give those guys a chance, you know, but at the same time, I think it's also Important to remember what you have been through in the past too because that's going to help you from running into another narcissist and of course After the relationship in my opinion the last thing you should be doing is Looking for someone else because what you have to think is What kind of a man is gonna want to be with a woman? Who's just come out of a relationship with an arsist anyway, what kind of a man is gonna be with a woman after Some other guys done all of those things to you surely no one good and that's very important to remember Because when you're in a vulnerable place All you're going to attract Is predators People who are looking to target you but once you've taken some time to heal yourself to become stronger Mentally and emotionally then you can get back into dating Then you'll be a lot safer I'm not saying that narcissists don't target strong people they do they target all kinds of people But at least then you'll be equipped You'll have stronger boundaries, but then you still have to recognize the difference Between a narcissist and a good man Like someone who's just trying to get to know you so what is a good man How do you know a good guy Isn't going to want to rush into anything a good guy who has a lot going on in his life Isn't going to just jump in head first with you people who do that It's usually because They don't have many options They see you as someone who's vulnerable or naive and They're just looking at you as someone to take advantage of but someone who's patient Someone who's trying to work with you. I think that's a good guy someone who's not trying to Make you rush into things and if it feels like it's going too fast and you want to put the brakes on the relationship and They don't seem happy about it if that makes them mad Then You're dealing with someone who only cares about themselves because someone who has an interest in you As much as they have an interest in their own needs It's going to be very patient with you They're not just going to give up after a first few few weeks or months Like if you said to a good guy That you don't want to be intimate straight away The good guy is gonna understand if you tell a good guy That you're not ready to trust again or get into a relationship straight away a good guy might wait weeks Months Even a year I just had to share that message with you tonight. We've all had horrible experiences But not everyone else not not everyone is gonna be like that some people are Looking to share Some people are not going to lie to you You know, they're gonna be honest with you They can be vulnerable and again, that's something That's a very important quality that you need to look for when you're dating someone it might not happen straight away But at some point you should be looking for some vulnerability They should be able to let their guard down around you Because that is one of the main differences between us and narcissists They can't just let their guards down around us or anyone else they cannot be vulnerable You're not gonna sit down with a narcissist and have any real deep human connection It's just not gonna happen. I'm they're not gonna have that with you or anyone else Because they can't and that's often why they're so mad You know they get with us Everything's great in the beginning And then you start to realize after a while. It's like Hold on a minute This person can't even connect They can't be vulnerable They can't let go of their pride and arrogance And just say okay, let's just let's just talk on a human level Let's just try and get to know each other. I'm interested in you. I want to know more about you No, they can't do that Because it's all about them It's all about what they're gonna get out of it And if they could They would just Take everything away from you and leave it with nothing And then just do it with the next person just Do it all over again Forget about you There's no Human connection There's no emotional connection You don't feel Like you're on the same page You don't feel like they get you And that's What just kills it all It's like just everything, you know When you talk to someone When you kiss someone When you're having sex The best part about all of these things Is that there's a connection You take the connection away and it's like What's the point? We're human, we're not robots We need to be vulnerable sometimes That's how we connect So yeah, I think that's That's what What to look for In a good guy You don't need to find a guy who's just gonna Blow all his money on you There's plenty of good guys out there Who Might want to split the bill in half And there's nothing wrong with that As long as you're not with a guy who makes you Pay for him Obviously that's not right But you should also Be looking for someone Who's going somewhere In life Someone who Maybe they're not successful right now But you can tell that They've got potential And they're using it to become successful Hold on, it's raining a bit Just gonna get in the car Yeah, you should be looking for someone who Has potential And they are also using their potential To try and become Successful And they have to look like they're going somewhere If someone guy's picking you up for a date In an old banger That's not good That's not someone Who's going to Be able to look after you That's someone who's just going to hold you back Someone who's going to hold you back From you being successful And that's what you have to think about I'm not saying that The only good guy's out there A million is, no of course not But they need to Have something Of value in their lives They need to Dress Well To take pride in their work At least have A relatively nice car If someone guy is picking you up In like Some old jogging bottoms And an old banger That's not a good sign Just something to take into consideration Anyway, I just wanted to share that Message with you I hope it's been helpful And Thank you Impressed Lib And Dexter Zion For the donations We should have two premieres Tomorrow evening So if you can join us I will talk to you then