 Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Kathy Lewis, Elliot Lewis. Two of the most distinguished names in radio. Appearing each week in their own theater. Starring in a repertory of transcribed stories of their own and your choosing. Radio's foremost player in radio's foremost place. Ladies and gentlemen, Elliot Lewis. Good evening. May I present my wife, Kathy. Good evening. Good drama, and I'm using that word to mean comedy or melodrama or satire or whatever. Good drama is based on conflict. Like a football game in its simplest terms. Or a troubled man at war with himself. Or two handsome young men who want to marry the same beautiful young lady. Or a father and a son fighting for an empire. Or just two people who believe differently. A young man named Don Yarrow came to see us with an idea for an onstage play. It was a play about a conflict in ideas. A conflict between a young man and his father-in-law. We thought it was a good play and we're going to do it tonight. It's called The Dreamy. We live in a quiet town, Jeff and me. Not so small that it's so stuffy that you can't breathe and can't draw your soul your own. And not so big that it has no, well, character. I guess you know what I mean about big towns. Ours is a quiet town. Just the right side. And it suits us, Jeff and me. Now I've made it sound as if it didn't suit dad and that's not true. And I didn't mean it to sound that way at all. Dad lives here all his life. But with him, it would be all the same wherever he is. When you go around with your feet off the ground and your head in the clouds, what difference could it make? A dreamer doesn't call any plays home. There he goes now, down to the stellar. I wouldn't mind so much if there was something practical about what he does down in the stellar, but there isn't. It's all such a waste of time. After all, dad has nothing but time. And that's not the point. The principle of the thing, a waste of time and money. Oh. Name one of these inventions of his that ever amounted anything. Name one, that's all. Well... And does he have to walk around as if he was the only human being left alive? It's different when you get to be dad's age, Dad. Isn't it, though? But isn't that exactly what I'm complaining about? A man his age has no reason to have things on his mind anymore. Your father's all through the worry and the struggling times. When a man gets to be his age, it's only fair he should relax and be himself. All I want is that he should be that way. The way he's supposed to be. Yes. That's what annoys me. He makes such a production out of everything. Anyone would think he was the breadwinner around here. Not yes. That's not fair. That's ignoble, even. Well, you think I don't know that? That annoys me, too. You think I should think like that? You can see how it was. And I knew what was really needling just wasn't what he said it was, not exactly. It wasn't that he hated to think of dad wasting time and money or behaving around the house as if he owned it. What, yes, couldn't take was the sense of dad never being quite with him. Of him walking around with his feet off the ground and his head in the clouds. Jeff never could stand the dreamer. Anything or anyone he couldn't quite get to grips with frightened him a little. And when Jeff got frightened, he brooded. And when he brooded, he got hard to live with. You've been talking about this movie all week, and now that we're going, you're not even ready. I'm ready. I'm all set to go. What are you sitting there for? Waiting for dad. Waiting for dad? He's coming with us. Oh, no. He never comes with us. This tiny is. Says he wants to. You mean he knows what he wants? Yes. All right. If he says he wants to, he wants to. Then where is he? He'll be up in a minute. Well, he'll hate the picture. Go to sleep, most likely. What do you want? Well, it seems like kind of a waste to go to a movie and then sleep. Here he comes. There you are, pop. All set? All set, my dear. You sure you want to come? Yes. Okay, let's go. Wait a minute. Don't close the door, Jeff. What's the matter? I forgot to leave the light on. Oh, that's nonsense. You think that would fool a burglar? It's done it up to now. There. That wouldn't fool anyone. It's better than nothing. What's the matter, pop? Well? You look the same. I just had an idea. Oh, come on. We'll miss the news reel. That's where it really started, then and there. If I thought I'd had a situation on my hand before, I was wrong. This was it. This was what the writing on the wall had been all about. We came back from the movie that night and the light was burning and we had not been burglarized, as I thought. But it didn't satisfy a bag. He wouldn't drink his hot molded milk, had to go down to the cell, write Ben and Bear and begin work on this new idea he had. I heard him sneak up the bed around four in the morning. Lucky thing Jeff was asleep. As a matter of fact, he might have forgotten all about it if something hadn't happened a few evenings later after dinner. What on earth is that? It's coming from the cellar. I'm going down there. No, no, Jeff, don't. It was shaking the floor. The first thing we know to be cracked in the wall is the pictures will all fall down. I hope not. That's very unlucky that he's falling down. I'm going down there. This time he's gone too far. No, don't, Jeff. Leave him alone. Whatever it was, it didn't work. The noise has stopped. Yeah, well, you know your father. If at first you don't succeed, he's flugging away. I don't want the house coming down around our ears, even if you do. Read the newspaper, dear. You exaggerate so. I exaggerate, huh? No. It is a loud noise. What do you suppose it is? Whatever it is, there's no harm in it. That did it. Yeah? I've had enough. I'm sorry. I've had all of this I can take. You're not going down to it. He's got to be made to stop. Yeah, but listen, I wish you'd just try to understand. Hey, Pop. How are you? Yes, yes. Listen, darling, now don't. Pop, what's the big idea? I can't hear you. Come on down with me if you like, James. But don't try to stop me. In a minute, Pop, I have a right to- It's not ready yet. What? I don't want you to see it before it's finished. See what? Why, what you came down here to see, of course. Yeah, but what is it? You'll find out soon enough. Now look, Pop, I didn't come down here to see anything. You just said you did. I came down here to find out what the rocket was. Yes. Whatever that thing is, does it have to be so noisy? My boy, that's the whole idea. That's the whole idea. I think your father is going nuts. I wonder if he is... Have you heard what he said? That's the whole idea? That it should make that strange noise. What kind of talk is that? I tell you, he's going off his rocker. Perhaps. Yeah? Well, I was going to say perhaps he hasn't quite got it right yet. Got what right yet? You know, I wonder if he's done something important at last. What? He said we should find out soon enough. Perhaps we shall know tomorrow. Tomorrow, your father and me are going to have a long talk, Jane. A long talk. Oh, yes, please. For my sake, don't be too hard on him. You are listening to Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Tonight's play, The Dreamers. All of us at some time are faced with a challenge, and the man in uniform is no exception. One of the greatest challenges faced by the military was a fight to find the cause and prevention of yellow fever. In 1900, Nature Walter Reed of the U.S. Army Medical Corps was named chairman of a committee to investigate the cause and transmission of the disease. The committee was assigned to conduct its work in Cuba, where yellow fever was then quite severe. There, together with majors William Gorgas and James Carroll and doctors Jesse Lazier and Aristides Agromonte, Major Reed began his experiments. After a lengthy cleanup campaign, the committee was assigned to conduct its work in Cuba where yellow fever was then quite severe. After a lengthy cleanup campaign, the committee reached the conclusion that the fever was carried and transmitted by the Stegomayar mosquito, a theory previously held by a Scotch doctor, Charles Finley, but ignored. Now, with Dr. Finley's help, Major Reed hoped to prove the theory was correct. When it became known among the American troops stationed in Cuba that Major Reed was looking for a way to test the theory, several of the enlisted men volunteered to act as human guinea pigs for the dangerous experiment. In the course of the experiment, some of the volunteers and Dr. Lazier died from injections of the disease. But their sacrifice eventually brought an end to yellow fever in Cuba, and as the years went by, in a major part of the civilized world. Once more, the military had successfully met a challenge. It happened the very next day. It was after dinner. We heard him coming. Here he comes now. Time I put him straight. My mind is made up. I'm not going to mince words. Now listen, Pop. What in the world is that? You may well ask, son. You may well ask. Now don't put it on the table. You'll scratch it. Oh, don't touch me, boy. In a week's time, all you furniture for this house, all the paper you want, what is that? This, son, is your old dad's latest gift to society. This invention of mine is going to burst upon a grateful and an astonished world with all the greens of a new major constellation. I call it the handy homestep and tread simulator for the discouragement of prowlers. That's perfectly wonderful. What is it supposed to be? This machine operated by the United States This machine operated by a simple clockwork mechanism with an easy reach of the householder's pocket has been designed to stimulate the sound of a person walking up and down the stairs. After a single cranking, it will reproduce this sound for a period of three and one-half hours, the time taken by an average joint double-feature program. Ah, I see. Gone are the days of leaving the light on to scare away prowlers. Now when you leave your home empty in the evening, all you have to do is to crank up this simple appliance, and any passing burglar has the impression that the house is occupied. Why not just leave the light on? Oh, dear, that loose has been known to the prowling fraternity since private property was invented. That's just the trouble, you see. We have not kept pace with the march of events or sighted the law of diminishing returns. It's time to start outguessing the burglar. Leaving the light on always seems to work. Oh, that doesn't prove anything, my dear. Besides, I know as a matter of statistics that in many thousands of cases, it has not worked. It has only provided illumination for the burglar to work by. Whereas this machine... Of course, there are a few bugs yet. Um... I have just one question. Dear son, you're not serious, are you? You can sneer, my boy. You will see. That's all. You will see. Dad smoothed out the bug in his contraption, got some batters from among his old cronies and put it on the marker. What happened after that seemed like a dream. The machine sold in its thousands. Over night, you might say, we were rich. And Jeff took it badly, as I had feared he would. Why? Why should this happen? In fact, how can we do that? It's fantastic. Impossible. Out of this world, there is no rhyme or reason in it. That's not strictly true, son. There is some reason, but more imaginative. I know I have no imagination. You don't have to tell me that, especially now. Dad didn't mean that, yes, dear. All right. I know how this makes me look. I was wrong. I said it couldn't happen. Well, it has happened, and I guess it makes me look pretty silly. Well, why is that, my boy? Now, I don't need to work anymore. I'm just a spare part around here. Yes, that's not true. Working is what I know, and I'm going to go right on working, winning the bread. You can have your cake, you two, but don't expect me to eat it. Yes, yes. Oh, oh. Dear, he doesn't understand. Oh, don't worry about it, Jane, my dear. You come round. But poor Jeff didn't come around, and at first things got worse. It seemed like we couldn't help but go on getting richer and richer all the time. And the richer we got, the angrier poor Jeff became. You could see he was tortured by my father's success. Not because he was jealous of it, because I don't think Jeff ever wanted that kind of a success, but because he couldn't understand how it had happened. If you want to know the truth, it was over his head. And this made him afraid, and then, of course, he got impatient with himself and angry. But finally, something went wrong. I can't understand it. The sales have fallen off almost to nothing. Oh, well, Dad, never mind. My machine is not a failure. I have never had to dissatisfied customers, but people are not buying them anymore. Perhaps we should advertise. Oh, all that's taken care of. Doesn't make any difference. I'm worried. Are you really? Well, no, not really, but I would like to know why. A little while after that, Jeff and I went out to the evening, and Dad was alone in the house. He went to bed early. There's an old guy in bed. Oh, what are you doing in this house? Now, let's go. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to talk with you. Please wait. Please, I must talk with you. What's with you, Pop? Tell me, are you burglars? Well, we, well, yes, in a way. Well, then please tell me, would you enter a house in which you heard footsteps going up and down the stairs? What? Well, that would depend. Wouldn't it, John? It would depend on what? Well, on whether it was really footsteps or one of the machines. Can you know about the machine? Well, I bless you, yes. It's like leaving a light burning. You could use the trick like that. The law of dimension turns. Pardon me? Oh, nothing. I should like to thank you, my friend. You've been of great service to me. Happy to abide. Isn't that right, John? You may rest assured, I shall say nothing else. I'll visit. Oh, well, we stretch your back. Exactly, exactly. Can you find your own way out? Oh, sure, yes. Well, good night, Bob. Good night. Good night. Good night. Come on, Joe. Let's try the next door. I have it. I have it. Later, he said he thought it might have been a dream. And really, I think it was. I think that half the things that happened to Dad were a dream, either waking or sleeping. But at the time, we didn't know about it. Dad didn't say anything. And things went on about the same as they had enjoying. That is getting worse. The money for the sale, the stop coming in, and, of course, death notices. Did they? Yes. I told you so. Yes. Just a flash in the pan. I suppose so. Just as well I decided to go right on working, just as if nothing had happened. I was so right, Jesse. That crazy gimmick. You see, honey, it comes back to what I've said all along. It doesn't matter what. You have to have a practical attitude. Being practical, that's what your father doesn't understand. I know. He made some money, sure. But then there's the bills. Materials, labor, advertising. The net profit won't amounted so much. And what now, huh? Huh? Where would we go from here if we had to rely on that crazy gizmo? Just as well you went right on working, Jeff, though. Oh, you're darn right there. What's that? Oh, dear. You've had it again. Jeff? If it was me, I could take a hint. But you take some people they never learned. Yes. Not your old man, no. Yes, now be patient. It's his whole life. It may be, but it's ruining mine. Yes. He's gotten into his head this time. Oh, no. Please, no! He didn't leave us in doubt for very long. I had met Jeff after work and we'd done the marketing. It was on the table when we came in and dad was waiting. Jeff is very quiet. He's frightened. All right, Pop. What is it now? Ah, ah, it looks awfully complicated. Well, it's basically simple, of course. Clockwork? Clockwork as before. Wait until you hear this. Are you ready? Thank you. What do you think? It's called a combined home companion. It can be manufactured to cater to individual tastes. For example, you can have canasta instead of bread. Also, it can be made in simple forms, incorporating selected features. Oh, there'd be a man whistling in baths combined with dog barking downstairs or young people dancing in living room combined with glee club rehearsing upstairs. You're going to put it on the market then? Oh, all of them, my boy. All right. But surely didn't you learn anything from the failure of the other thing? Don't you know that, Norbert? I did learn law of diminishing return. Time now for the follow-up. And this is the logical development. Have you any idea what it would cause to put these into production? The profit will be enormous. It's not practical. Neither was the other, but it made money. It's fantastic, absurd. The public will love it. They will buy millions of these. The public loves that. This isn't a gadget. It's a complicated machine. It's expensive. Oh, not so expensive. A bigger and better gadget. That's what the public wants. Just listen. Take it away. Take it away! It was a terrible time to get. During the following weeks, I watched what was happening to him. He kept saying how sure he was that this time my father had really gone off the rails. When Dad sank all his capital in the manufacture of the new machine, Jeff dispaired and said it would be the ruin of us all. He wouldn't eat. He got thin and sort of haggard and perilous with his shading. But I could see that what was really haunting him was the thought that maybe, after all, the machine would be a success. If something he didn't understand would rear up and slap him down and prove him wrong, the danger was terrible that all his ideas of sense and nonsense would be toppled over. I was afraid that if that happened to Jeff, he would fall into a sort of dreadful melancholy. Well, gradually we could see that the machines were going to be a success. I think I'd known it all along. The money Dad laid out started coming back. I was afraid he was going to make a fortune. And then one morning in the rain, the little man came. Good morning. Is your husband at home? Well, no, uh, can I... It's all right, my dear. I was expecting this gentleman. Oh, will you please step this way? Thank you. I must say my shoes are very wet. Quite all right. I'll speak with the gentleman in there, Jane. We shan't be very long. This is also strange. Some man I had never seen before but he seemed to know my father or Dad seemed to know him. He had a fax-free state and looked very official. I can income tax the sector. I went over to the closed door and I listened to it. I couldn't hear what he was saying. He was in there almost a half hour and then the door opened and the little man came out followed by my father. They were all smiles and vows and good nature. So whatever it had been all about, it had gone off all right. Good day, madam. Thank you for your hospitality. Ah, quite all right. I'm so sorry about my seat. The rain, you know. It's quite all right. Good day, then. And good day to you, sir. Good day. It's been a pleasure to do business with you. Eh, um... Terrible weather. Terrible. Yes, it certainly is. Well, I daresay you're busy, my dear. Father? Dad. Uh, yes, my dear. What did he want? The little man. Oh, him? Yes, him. Oh, well, yes. I had planned to keep it to tell you both when Jeff comes home. Oh. Who was he? He was a union representative. Union representative? What union? Associated burglars and second-story men. What in the world did he want with you? Well, I guess I may as well tell you. He came with a proposition. Yes. You didn't do business with them. In a manner of speaking, I did. But not in the way you think. Ah, I should hope not. He pointed something out to me, something I hadn't thought of. You see, these machines of mine are fairly expensive. And as they become more and more complicated, they will get more expensive still. They will be beyond the means of the average family. I see. And, as this fellow pointed out, the men whom he represents will alter their sphere of operations to meet the changed conditions. Instead of robbing the more comfortably situated, they will turn their attention to the average man. It's, uh, happening already. But that's awful. Yes, I know. Well, there was nothing I could do but agree to stop production. He was very nice about it all, and I'm sure he regretted the way things have turned out. Quite sincerely, I would say. Well, but... You were new mine? No. No, I don't think so. After a while, things will be as they were. First, people will leave their lights on as they did before. Dad, do you think you could sort of, um, hint that your machines have failed again? You know, so he won't... All right, I'll do that. Yes, after all, it does have its amusing side. So Jeff never did find out. And after a while, he got over the whole thing and everything was fine. A few weeks ago, he said to me... Listen to him down there, puttering away. I guess he's happy enough. I guess what you don't know about life, real life, that is. You don't miss, huh? And so they've learned to live together. Jeff had a bad stare and a trotting, I suppose, to make a laundry. With Dad, it would be all the same wherever he lives. When you go around with your feet off the ground and your head in the clouds, what difference could it make? A dreamer doesn't call any place home. There he goes now, down to the cellar. What he does down there, we don't ask. And he doesn't tell us. Not anymore. The Dreamer, starring Kathy and Delia Lewis on stage. And so the realist and the dreamer learned to live with each other. And you believed it because Joseph Kern was kind enough to rejoin us to play Kathy's father. Her vibrant was the burglar, and Byron Kane was the head man with the burglar. And join us next week when On Stage returns with Kathy and Delia Lewis in another play we know you will enjoy. It has been the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.