 Hello. And welcome to... Doctor Who! The Adventure Games! Well, I'll be damned. I thought these were lost time. Time will do that. But here we are. There's me, there's Kazza, I look... We're dead if we're being honest. Okay, so I'll... Matt Smith. That is I. Matt Smeag. Apparently, I'm Matt Smeag. As much as I'd like to face off against the Cybermen and the shadows of the Vastanarada and the TARDIS, I think it's best we start where it all began. With City of the Daleks. I know this off the back of my hand. Such a good year. That's the year that you bought that outfit. We could go see the Beatles play in 1963, but the Ice Age is only a click away on the dial. The good times are rolling already. What? There's no such thing as a sexy drummer. Yes, there is, actually. Ringo is fit. I would. Did you get this wrong? Maybe this is like 2963 or something. I'll be honest, London's looked better. It's also looked worse. Something with a power to alter time on a massive scale. Something to alter time on a massive scale. I think it's me, because I can do that. Oh, it's a woman! You know, it must be said to the game designers, they've really matched the title sequence, the time Vortex himself beautifully credit to whomever did that. There I am, my name coming up, slightly delayed with the actions like it's coming out of the screen. Oh, Jason! That was scary. Oh, here we go. I have control of the game. Okay. I know how to control games. I've played many a game of my time. Fallout, New Vegas, Minecraft, the original Tetris. Do I? Is that what I look like? Busy day. Busy life. Okay, let's see here. That's not how I run. Is he? Tell me if I run like that. See, I don't run like that. Admiral Horatio Nelson died at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. Well, see, I know all this. I'm the Doctor Matthew Smithington. I know everything. Come on, Kazza, what have you got to say? Something insightful, no doubt. That woman escaped out of Manhole. We need to find her. Thanks for stating the obvious, my dear. I'm examined. We need to find a way to break through that. Yes, I'm aware. It's pretty okay. I'm not a child. I may act like one and kind of look like one, but I'm not. I'm 109. Hello, Daleks! No. All right. Oh, what's that? A collectible. Oh, I love a collectible. This game's getting better by the minute. Okay, I think it's going to be the Klaus-Shan sheath of the 15th Funeral Fleet. Sexy. Sexy fish. There is nothing sexier than a fish. You can quote me on that. A hackney carriage. No, that's a taxi. Look out for that, Dalek. Maybe we can avoid it if we're careful. You know, people rag on my performance in this game, but I think that's spot-on. I sound exactly like Matt Smith. Kazza, I'm afraid to say you look like a gremlin. Once again, is this how we move? This isn't how I crouch. Okay, maybe it is. We can smash the barrier and get to the underground. I know, Kazza. That's the whole thing. That's the only thing I know that I'm doing. Ooh, they seem to be squirting out green stuff from their Dalek Gooch. Can they really not see me? Again, hello, paradigm! No wonder they were discontinued. Oh, there's another one! Okay, I predict that it's going to be Josh Carr of the Who Knew podcast. Kind of. The only Doctor Who managed to fix the Tardis's chameleon circuit. And look how much he's loved. One, two, three! It's like I'm really doing it! Well, you can stay up here and meet the Daleks. But they're more heavy metal. The platform must be up head, but we're going to have to get through that gate. Well, luckily I know a certain tool that'll be helpful here. The psychic paper! Yetis. It's a good reference. The woman we saw must be around here somewhere. Don't move! Ah! There you are. Hello. Be... calm down. We're here to help you. Do we look like Daleks? Yes, it's almost like it's a cracking time. But that's unlikely, especially for series five. Thousands of them, thousands! Don't shoot! Ooh, what questions should I ask? How did you survive on other survivors? You know what? I don't doubt her survivability. I thought she's very smart. So, I want to know if she's alone. There's just me left. Seems rather unlikely, but okay. Let me check her head. These tunnels are dangerous. Yes, you check Charon Cross. I'll check Waterloo. What was that? What was that? Oh, dear. It's a Cyberman! How do she faster than us? Get back here! Okay, oh, dear. More stealth, right. Amy, any bit of advice? We need to catch up with Sylvia. Insightful as ever. Hello, Drone. You can't hear me, because I'm talking in real life. Please don't turn around. Okay, good. We keep it all moving. Just as long as we remember all the people that we used to be. Why don't we hide behind these sandbags? I'm doing that already! We can get further ahead. Oh, dear. Oh, no. No, no. Kazza, run! Oh, Geronimo, we're going back to the beginning. Oh, this is not good at all. Quick, get down, get down. Why can't I crouch? Oh, dear. Oh, it was space fun. Me and Stephen Moffat would joke many times about the BBC executives being, uh, what was the word he used? Arse wipes. Kazza, stay there. Why are you sn- You don't have to be that close to my backside. Careful, I don't rip a massive fart. How is he not seeing Sylvia? All right, I think we're safe. Oh, it's another collectible! Okay, I think this one is going to be Jenny Flint of the Paternoster Gang. I'm closer than I should be. List 10 Starship UK. That episode is what Stephen Moffat's son called a nightmare. This is going to take some manual rewiring. Oh, good. I'm the rewiring king. This is immediately more confusing than I thought. Oh, I could talk to Sylvia. Come back here, Sylvia. No, come back here, Sylvia. Get back here. I want to talk to you this instant. Stop running away from me, Sylvia. What's this? Dynamite. Oh, boobies, a booby trap. Sorry, I got excited. I was thinking about river. Delicious. No! That was me. All right, so, can't go towards the cab. That whole bit's blocked off. So, we've got to go towards the other cab. Oh, this is going to be tight. Tight like a pussy. All right, go, go, go! No time to waste. Oh, that was... Uh-oh. Okay, that's... I see an issue before all that. I believe it's going to be the TARDIS itself. Let's go! At least below. We've got to list 10. This is very series five specific, except for Colin Baker. There's Colin Baker in series five. Maybe he played the dream lord. You idiots! How could you? You absolute buffoon! Oh, crud! Run! Oh! I just watched myself die. That was an out-of-body experience. Literally. I swear I'm better at video games. I beat the end dragon. Well, I watched someone defeat the end dragon. Well, I was, you know, I was in the vicinity. I wasn't on the server that day, but I was present. All right, we made it! Ooh, a fun fact. Newspapers. Well, isn't that fascinating? And we're safe. Well, I am. If I can analyse the time and place that the Daleks altered the timeline. I already have, it's on the screen. City of the Daleks. Ah, he said it! I'm still not coming here for my holidays. Ha! Okay, new location. We're on Scarra now. Let's investigate. All right, let's give it a little sonicky roux. The sound was a bit delayed. The internal sensor is protected by the Daleks circuitry. Well, not on my watch. It's there. Get it. It's not funny. Oh, what is, oh, it's a maze. Oh, I like a maze, actually. Okay, good, right. Celebrations are off! Oh, that was cringe. I'm so sorry. That's tenants' life. I'm so sorry. That's not me. What? Sorry, I shouldn't be making jokes. Karen is dying. Kazza, you're dying in the video game. Okay, so we need to retrieve a Cronon blocker if I'm not mistaken. And that's apparently out here. Ah, there it is. Claw. Hopefully there's no Daleks. Who knew there'd be Daleks in the homeworld of the Daleks? Forget I said that. Why does the Daleks place always have the bum bum bum bum bum bum? It's always, oh, jeez. I thought it was flying. Ah! I just got a text from Arthur Darville. He's asked me how bad I am at the game. Oh, shut it, Arthur. Collectible! Okay, so we've got to use logic here. All the other ones have been series five specific except for Colin Baker. So I think this is going to be John Pertwee, Reader's Weep. Adipose! Fat boy! Just what the Doctor ordered. Dialocanium coil. Yes! Oh, we're on a roll with the collectibles. Okay, so we now have learned it can't be anything. Series five, series four. Doctors doesn't matter. I believe this is going to be the deadliest creature known to Doctor Who. The Daleks themselves. Oh, Dalek, okay. Well, at least I don't have chaser bringing up the rear in more ways than one little butt sniffer. Can you imagine this being your job all day? Just going around in the same backwards and forwards routine. Ah, collectibles! This collector was going to take some skill, but luckily I'm the most skilled of anyone. Oops. I'm glad I didn't guess for that one. How was I supposed to guess it was a purple baby of gelatin? You know, I'll give the Daleks this. Architecture is their strong point. Although, do they have to put tits on everything? The Dalek Bumps. Doo-doo. Doo-doo. This is quite tense. Do you want to hear my impression of myself dying? Ah! Narrow escape indeed. No! Cazza, where are you? Oh, Jesus, she's dying! Doctor, please, hurry, I'm fading away. Last time I saw Cazza this faded, she was, you know, oh, another one of these, okay. Challenge accepted. Well, she's dead. Dalek Convention inside. Dalek Convention, I've been to a few of those. Full of nerds! Nerds and tanks. Terrifying. Oh, it's a yellow one, the Eternal. You know, Stephen Moff had actually told me what the purpose of the Eternal was, because it was kept a secret. It's because it was full of piss. Good grief! Look at the size of that thing, Doctor! You know, there's an awful lot of stealth in this game. Is it bad that the main thing I'm enjoying is the collectibles? All right, Amy, come on, last chance, a bit of advice. We should wait for the beam to pass across before we make a move. That's actually quite good advice that I will blatantly ignore. Oh, okay, let's see. That one is that one. But it's easier than I thought. Oh, there's more of them! Okay, uh, switch. Okay, good, lovely. Calm down, that looks like a scarab beetle. Oh, there's more! It's like books on a shelf, makes sense. We're in a library. Then it's this one here that looks like ET, if you squint, and they're also blind. Okay, second time's a charm. Oh, it's not scanning much. One, two, three, four, five, six, ha-ha! Seven, eight, one for that! Come on, Amy! Yes! All attached to the computer. Round the outside, round the outside. Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me, don't see me. Idiot. Massive. Occupational hazard. You fat bastard! You know, whilst I'm talking to you, I found this in my bunker. Have a look at that. The Doctor Who Experience. London 2011. Good times. And! Doctor Who Live. I was in some of these. Good old, the magnificent Vorgunstern. Evil, malicious. But downright hilarious. Greatest show in the galaxy, apparently. But I think that's copyright self-vestor McCoy. Straight to the top. The Supreme Council chamber. Give me a Lossage. Go back in time. Give me a Lossage. Ah! Lead on. Lead on. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Why do the Daleks get the coolest soundtrack Murray Gold likes? Space Nazis. Show me the source. Show me the source of your power. Ketchup, mustard. And then we died. Oh, I got another message. Oh, this one's from Stephen Moffat with a cease and desist for downloading a game that's not allowed. Oops. All right, Amy. How do we set the trap? Tell us. Even though the place is in ruins, there could be something useful here. Suck for this ever. The emperor's up there. They're looking a bit more grey. Let's go fart on him. Because when he does come, he's gonna enter and he's gonna go, oh, there's someone's farted in my chair. It's like the three bears story, but gross. I found another collectible. Amy. Oh, you're there. All right. I think this one's gonna be another jelly baby. I was right. It's another one. Amy. Okay. This one can't be a jelly baby. So I think this is going to be William Hartnell. Again, closer than even I was expecting. His screwdriver was destroyed by a tereleptal. Is that really the most interesting part of the fifth doctor? Actually, who am I kidding? There's nothing interesting about the fifth doctor. Come at me. I don't understand why he stoned. In fact, I don't understand why he's the paradigm designer at all. Surely it should be the time war design because the paradigm only existed post time war. I should know. I was there. They're made from Dalekadium. Davros really had a field day with naming, didn't he? Or two. Or two. Am I a wizard? She's fading again. Oh, no, it's the Daleks. That's like ten. Yes, die. Yes, die. Die, Daleks. Stay with me, Amy. I'm sorry. I'm OK. Come on, my best. Come along. Pond, let's go to a Dalek library. What the piss is that? That's a Varga plant over there. Do you want to hear an impression of myself voice acting for this game? That is a Varga plant. If we don't get past it, we're going to be a bit poorly for about 30 minutes. Go, go, go, go, go. Amy. Oh, did I leave her behind? All right. 12 seconds later. Oh, it's another one. Amy. 12 seconds later. I don't see her. Amy. Amy. 12 seconds later. Where are you, Karen? Amy, don't die. I need to get this collectible. OK, I think this one's going to be Amelia Pond. All right, let's give a little boosty-woosty. I didn't even have time to get mine out. They're here already. The Supreme Dalek. Oh, it's the White Boy, my worst nightmare. Am I really sending out her? Why don't we go together? She's dying. I get to play as Amelia Pond. Never mind, I'm all on board. It didn't see me. Looks like invisibility can have its advantages. I'm a superhero. Super Pond. Oh, that is the most polygonal Dalek I've ever seen. Attack of the Polygonals. Oh, look at that battered one. See, again, why is it the paradigm? That doesn't make sense. Where's she put that? I don't answer that. Do you reckon I could hop in that? I could pretend to be Davros, the ultimate change. Oh, for goodness' sake. Ah! This range is limited. Unless I can fit it into the cradle of the... I want to die. It's the Supreme. Bitch! Uh-oh. Run, Amy! That works! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Oh, that looks methanol. A function Dalek for Dalek-dun. Ha-ha. Well, it's going to be easy from here with a bunch of blind Daleks. What's the worst of that? I do not see. I see the issue. Alright, game on. Let's go! Go! On your left. Right. On your right. Yes, Murray Gold. I am the doctor. I am the doctor. That's it, here we go. It goes quiet in the sonic screen. Anyway, we're running out of time doctor. It's right there, Amy. It's not going to work. Let's try something else. Oh, oh dear. Oh, I just had to run. Jump. How do we get back to the TARDIS? Yeah, that's an Eccleston episode. And ladies and gentlemen, we have completed City of the Daleks, the first Doctor Who adventure game. I think we did very well. Look at all the people that worked on this game. Genius. Absolute genius. Every single one of you. Ifty, Khan, Julie Scott, Lindsay, Alfred, all the genius. Thank you for watching and I'll see you. NEVER! Bye. Don't forget to subscribe to the official Jack Reeves YouTube channel.