 Six days. Calling Mr. Weber. Come in. Sit down. This looks like the sex machine I have at home. I answer as quickly as you can. You're in a desert. You look down, you see a tortoise. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. And I bang it, right? The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Yep, I definitely fucked that turtle. It's a test designed to provoke an emotional response. Well, I'm hard, so mission accomplished. I was going to keep my mouth shut. I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel inclined to now. You know they made a new Blade Runner, right? You know that, don't you? And some people are saying it's better than this one. How do you respond to that emotionally? That's what I thought. Now, if you excuse me, I have some turtle porn to attend to. Well, that was graphic and useless. It's the classic 1982 Blade Runner, the final cut, versus 2017 sequel, Blade Runner 2049 on Movie Feuds. Let's start with the main attraction. Harrison Ford is Deckard, a replicant bounty hunter who works for the police department. His character is pretty flat by design, slowly moving from location to location, learning the whereabouts of his targets. Deckard is an interesting character because there is a mystery to him. The audience isn't quite sure if he's a replicant himself, but also doesn't help that there's five versions of this movie, and Ridley Scott has since told what he thinks. The concept adds a layer of depth to the picture that stays in the back of the viewer's mind while events unfold. He continues this role in 2017's sequel, but takes a backseat to Ryan Gosling's character Kay. Kay is similar in a lot of ways to Ford's character, and Baby Goose keeps your attention as he uncovers his mysterious past. This rounds a toss up for me as there's very interesting characters from both sides. Sean Young is a sight to behold as Deckard's replicant love interest. She's equally matched by 2049's Anna Day-Arma, says Joy, an AI program designed to make its owner happy. As I list these 1982 characters, I've realized there's either a complimentary version for each in 2017, or the person's just straight up back in the film. Daryl Hannah is an unhinged replicant badass who's terrible with makeup application. Her 2049 equal would be the calm and collected psychopath love, played by Sylvia Hoax, a top-of-the-line replicant who's far more submissive than past iterations. Then there's Edward James Omos, the unforgettable origami officer. Ryan James and Rutger Hauer were big highlights for me. Roy Beatty is more human than most of the people in this dystopian world, and that becomes very apparent by the film's final act. Once again, Jared Leto gives an awkward performance as the new replicant leader, Neander Wallace. It just seemed like he was acting in a different film than everybody else. My God, where is he? I did not intend to keep you waiting. Oh, for fuck's sake, you're like a bad magic trick. Talk normal, or at least somewhat normal. What are you? You're a terrible joker in Suicide Squad, and that's why they cut most of your scenes. It had to be said. It really did. And he's barely in this film, and I wonder why. I've changed the hands of progress. Oh, my fucking God, we've been here for three hours. I'm leaving. Dave Boutista and Robin Reiter are always great to watch, and here is no different. Like I said before, this is a tie for me. There's good on both sides. Let's go to round two. I think the most compelling thing about Blade Runner is the multiple ways people interpret it. To some, it's a big old religious allegory. For others, it's a commentary on the way man creates and destroys. I never put a lot of stock into it, taking it mostly at face value. In the year 2019, four of the artificial humans, aka replicants, have committed a bloody mutiny on an off-world colony. Deckard has been tasked with hunting them down and retiring them. As he carries out his mission, he comes to realize that perhaps these humanoid creations aren't really the villains, and he might share more in common with them than previously thought. The Blade Runner sequel takes us 30 years further. You've seen LA has grown significantly larger in population, but not much prettier. Although the neon lighting and the giant-naked women certainly don't hurt. Where 82's film had an audience asking a few questions about what it is to be human, 2017 asks a dozen more. There are more layers to peel now with not only different models of replicants living in the world, but also digital ones. Our story this time follows Blade Runner K, who uncovers the remains of an unknown source. The discovery leads to a slow reveal of a disturbing past event that will shape K's future. A side story features a very similar concept to that of the film Her that shows K's relationship with the world's version of Alexa, an AI who may or may not have legitimate feelings for our protagonist. It's a very intriguing idea, but I couldn't help but feel it was just retreading the same ground from the aforementioned movie. The sequel feels familiar but different enough, and certainly is a great follow-up to the original. The only hang-up I have is the runtime. A movie can be 8 hours if it has enough momentum and excitement behind it, but when you are watching a noir-inspired dystopian tale with long drawn-out portions of silent contemplation, it can start to overstay its welcome. This certainly won't be an issue for all, as they'll be fully invested in the visuals and the story on display, but as it trickled past that two-hour mark, I couldn't help but feel that I'd already seen and heard a lot of this before, and I was just ready for it to be done. It also had a couple subplots that never really resolved. Now, it's possible these were just set up to throw the audience for a loop, potentially be red herrings, but I felt like it was building something more for a third film. One that probably won't get made based on the revenue so far this is made, or hasn't. The first flick is by no means a fast vehicle, but it gets to its destination in a more sensible time. Blade Runner was a revolutionary film for a lot of reasons in 1982. The dreary, steampunkish look was refreshing and downright beautiful. While it can't possibly compete with the new tech and gorgeous renders the arrival director and his team have created, it still works with its own smaller-scale story. It does have some of that bad 80's slow motion mixed in, but Scott's camera work complemented with the dark melodic synths of the soundtrack match up perfectly. 2049 is what sci-fi can look like for people in 2017 and a new bar for filmmakers to hit. It's like a science fiction national geographic. A movie you could just have playing in the background as a motion wallpaper. The film's a lot brighter than the first with more planets being explored. Zimmer and Wallfish were brought onto the sequel to do the score and while it is powerful stuff I'm not sure it always matched the tone of the film. There are moments when the music hits with such a ferocity I couldn't help but think it was meant for another movie. I'm also not sure if Hans Zimmer is capable anymore of making a soundtrack that isn't just a bunch of loud noises crashing into each other. Small hang-ups aside there are so many unique effects at play it's hard not to go back and experience it a second time just to appreciate the craft. I'm not gonna lie my first watch of Blade Runner back in the day was included with the resounding, eh, that was it? That was the movie everybody was raving about? Upon second watch I discovered just how special the film really is. There is something about it that stays with you and that magic isn't lost in 2049. Now while I did leave with that same initial feeling it's a feeling I still puzzle over in a good way. I would love to revisit this again sometime down the road with the hopes that it will one day reach the same heights that the original did. I do fear that the length may hurt it in the long run though. It took Blade Runner 5 tries to get it just right and the director said that this is the final cut for 2049 so I think it is fair to vote on these. And that's where you come in. Feel free to leave a comment, vote for your winner, and remember this is more than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds.