 Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up, share your thoughts in the comments section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel, you can donate at paypal.me slash Narc Survivor. You can book a one on one with me on my website. Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor, welcome to my YouTube channel. Please hit the thumbs up button down below to help support our community. Hit subscribe and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one on one coaching session with me, just go to my website, it is narcsurvivor.co.uk. A narcissist can't love you because it's no secret that narcissists do not love. If they did then there wouldn't be all of these narcissists to confuse communities on YouTube. The truth is that a narcissist actually can't love anyone, including themselves. Because a long time ago they made a decision. They felt like their true self was not good enough. So they abandoned their true self and created a false self to take its place, instead of loving and accepting themselves. And if they couldn't love or accept themselves, they're never going to love or accept you or anyone else. They created a false self not because they were seeking to be loved, but because they wanted power and control. Because they're opportunists. They exploit circumstances to gain an immediate advantage, rather than being guided by consistent principles. Because they abandoned their true self. Which means that they have no inner sense of value. They can't generate their own power or energy from within. So now they're constantly in survival mode. And they're doing anything they can to get ahead. And when you fully realise this, you're never going to see them in the same way. Because society likes to glorify narcissists. And many celebrities who are narcissists can seem so pleasant, charming, charismatic and attractive. But there's actually nothing like that in real life. As you may already know, if you have lived with a narcissist for a certain amount of time, and you have seen what they're like behind closed doors. But even when you figure them out, and you see beyond the veil, they will use smear campaigns, courts or other means to make you bow down to their authoritative commands. And at the expense of denying our own qualities and attributes. Which ironically enough, are the very things that have been attributed to these narcissists. Because everything that society upholds these narcissists to be is naturally who we are in our everyday lives. And yet everything is set up to protect narcissists, even while they're in the wrong and they're screwing people over. Because many of us feel bad and we feel guilty. We enable them. We let them get away with their behaviour. When it is not our job to protect narcissists. Because society protects them enough. The court protect them. Police protect them. The government protects them. And even Hollywood protects narcissists. Everything is gratifying and indulging their immoral and distasteful desires, needs and habits. Everything caters, gives into, fulfills, yields and bows down to narcissists. So that they can continue profiting from other people. Everything is about their protection. And at our expense. While they can't ever love or accept you. And instead they use relationships to gain money, power and an advantage. While we come into relationships believing that very good things can be achieved. And we're listening to these songs or watching these movies about saving this damsel in distress. But they don't see us that way. They view us as objects or tools. They see only what we can do for them. Or how we can make them feel. For the value that we can provide. Sometimes that may be financially. But it can also include emotional stimulation. Because narcissists are emotionally unstable. So their idea of a fulfilling relationship is essentially an emotional roller coaster. Which alternates between excitement, exhilaration or happiness. And sadness, disappointment and desperation. This is why a lot of narcissists love watching dramas or soap operas. Because they want to be in control of it. Because they like predictability. So they want things to pan out as they see it in their minds. And they will rarely appreciate anything you do for them or give to them. Because they feel entitled to it. So they're never going to love you for who you are. But until this point you may have felt a lot of frustration. Because you didn't accept that they can't love you the way that you might want them to. Or even the way that you might deserve. But this is something that we must accept. That narcissists can only love for what we can do for them. And what we can provide for them. And even then you may never even receive a thank you. Because they already feel entitled to it. So they're not really grateful. Which can be a difficult thing to accept. After you've spent all of this time with them. And you may have assumed that they loved you for you. When they actually don't. Because all they care about is what you're doing for them. While the longer we're with someone. The more we love and care for them. And we don't want to let go of them. After everything that we have invested in them. But the more you do that. The more they will push away. Because that's not what they're interested in. It's not what they're looking for. They don't care about love or connection. That doesn't do anything for them. All they care about is what you can do for them. Because they have unmet emotional needs and childhood. So you can invest everything you have. You can give them a home. And then you may still discover that they are cheating on you with someone else. And it feels like all of your years of your relationship or marriage suddenly fell on you like a ton of bricks. The very bricks that you were using to build something with them. And it can be so shocking. Because the entire time you may have thought that they loved you. And then they just turned around and did this to you. But this is just something that we need to accept. Because narcissists cannot love us the way that we want to be loved. They're incapable of it. Because all they care about is the value that you can bring. And what you can provide to them. They will never love you for you. And they will always separate your qualities and possessions from who you actually are. Well, they are partaking in the world that you are bringing them into. And you may tell them that you love them and you can't live without them. But they're not seeing that as love. They're seeing it as a weakness because they lack empathy. So they're unable to share your feelings and experience. They can't feel what you feel. But even if they could, they probably wouldn't care. Because it just doesn't concern them. All they're concerned about is what they want, their image and appearance. So when you tell them that you love them, they're not seeing you as a good person. They're just seeing it as a weakness. As though you lack purpose and strength of character. Which is why they typically prefer to be around people of their own kind. People who are more like them. Because those types of people don't do stuff like that. They don't say that they love them. And instead, they're calling each other names. They're being boastful and insulting to demoralize each other. They're constantly arguing and fighting. And then these types of people develop respect for each other. Because in their minds, they're showing that they have strength by not acting in excessively subverbeant manner. And that's what narcissists respect. While the people who do everything for them never get their respect. Even though they're constantly doing favors for them and giving them money. But narcissists never learn to respect them. And they also don't respect anyone who loves them because they see that as a weakness. And this is why relationships always fail with narcissists. Because we're always trying to keep them happy. And we're trying to keep the peace in the relationship. Well, that's really not what they want. They love the fights, drama, arguments and chaos. That's what they live for. They love to roll around in the mud and get dirty. And they want you to join them. Which is why any time that you try to love them, and you show them respect, they just end up walking all over you. They treat you even worse. Because that's not what they want. They want to be roughed up. They want an opportunity to let out the internal frustration. And if there isn't one, then they will create it. And you may be left wondering what you did wrong. But that's how it is. It's what they enjoy. It's their idea of fun. They love rolling around in the mud. They love the arguments. They love the fights. It's just what narcissists do. And any time you try to put a stop to it or take it away from them, it's like you're taking away their favorite toy. So then they're just going to get even worse. And they will throw temper tantrums. Because they need that opportunity to vent and just let it out. They need someone who they can use as a vessel for all of their trauma and pain. And they don't want you to just sit there and take it all in your stride. They want you to react. They want you to fight back. Because they just love getting into it. They see it as a test of their willpower and determination as an opportunity to prove themselves. And yet in the love bombing phase, you may have seen something completely different from them. But that was not reality. That was not who they really are. Because as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, they will eat you alive. They will exploit your weaknesses and completely dominate them. They will overwhelm and criticize you angrily until you're completely destroyed. And then again, they will just see you as a weak, foolish and easily deceived person who they cannot depend on. As though you're not a good leader, even though they never want you to lead and they never let you lead in the first place. And they had to be in control of everything. So once you get involved with them, there's really no way for you to win. Because it's crazy making. It's a lose, lose situation. They want to be in a possession of authority over you. And yet they take no accountability for anything. And they blame you for everything. Because they don't see love as a strength. They see it as a weakness. So if you're blindly following them and you're at their beck and call, they're just going to see you as a fool. They're not going to be thinking anything about love. Because they don't even care about that. That's not a concern. And whenever you let a narcissist lead in anything, there's always going to be chaos in your life. Whenever narcissists lead, it violates the natural order of the physical universe. Because they were never meant to be in charge. People in power are meant to serve us, not act against us. And that's just how it's meant to be. But it's never going to work that way with a narcissist. Because not only do they want everything to be about them, but they want to be in control of it as well. And this is why there's just no winning with them. Because as long as they're in charge, it's going to be to their own detriment. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to donate, you can go to my PayPal. It is paypal.me slash Narc survivor. You can book a one on one with me on my website. It's narciviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.