 knowing somebody that you care about is struggling with depression can be really really difficult but there's a right and wrong way to help them. So in this video we're going to talk about three tips for helping someone you know who has depression. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. So this video is meant for two different people right? So you might be someone who knows somebody struggling with depression and you do not know how to help. This video is for you but you might also be someone who is struggling with depression and people in your life don't necessarily know how to help you okay and they probably do things that make you even more upset. So it is mental health awareness month and that's one of the main reasons why I'm making this video now. Like please do me a favor and share this video so more people are aware and they understand how to help somebody who is struggling with depression. Alright so let's get started. So tip number one. This is the most important tip that I can give you okay. You do not have to fix them okay. Let me repeat that. You do not have to fix them. This is extremely important and here's why. A lot of people trying to help someone who has has depression you're thinking that you have to do something. You have to do something that will help them that will fix them and then what happens is a lot of times you start to get frustrated. You start getting frustrated about that person's mental illness okay and this for lack of better words it becomes a very selfish intention right. You only want to help them so you feel better but depression is a mental illness. You are not somebody who is just going to swoop in and save the day and this just just accepting this is going to help you and your mental health greatly. As soon as you can accept the fact that you cannot fix them things are going to start getting easier and you'll start moving towards the right direction. Just remember just remember you're not a psychologist. You're not a therapist. You're not a doctor but even still even if you were this is not the place to do it. For example my mom is a psychologist. She does not help me with my mental health issues. There is a relationship there which makes it very hard to get an objective point of view. Now if you want to assist them by taking some of the load off or some of the anxiety that comes with like looking for a therapist or looking for other treatment options or looking for mental health youtube channels like this one like go ahead and do it if they're willing to accept the help all right. Just stick your hand out there and offer to help them in any way that you can but please please please remember it's not your job to fix them. Tip number two listen just listen that's it that's it okay. So a lot of times and this ties into tip number one a lot of times you think just because the person is talking to you about their depression that that they're asking you to do something like before I made this video it's kind of depending on how I was going to do this this topic right there was like lists of things you don't say to somebody with depression I'm like man there's a lot of lists and they're pretty big lists and the reason being is like a lot of people when they're depressed they're not in the right state of mind so even though you have good intentions saying certain things can actually make things worse most of the time and this is coming from somebody who has struggled with depression for many years most of the time I just need somebody to listen to me someone to just be there for me that's it that's it and it's hard if you're the type of person who thinks that you have to fix everybody it's hard to just listen you want to time in and offer suggestions and all sorts of things and that's cool we love you we appreciate you but sometimes you just got to sit back and listen if you want to help somebody and not give get yourself in trouble here is a good rule of thumb to use okay ask the person ask them for their permission say is there anything that I can do to help or say would you like some suggestions ask that because if they say yes boom doors open they want some suggestions they've hit a brick wall they don't know what to do anymore they want some suggestions from you but they also have the opportunity to say no like think about it for a second even if they're not struggling with depression most of us most of us do not like unsolicited advice right so why would it be any different for somebody else so in this situation just kind of reverse roles and say okay well do I really want people to say things like just cheer up or why don't you go for a walk have you tried yoga and you know what I mean so think about how that would affect you and that'll help you kind of understand that there isn't much you can say in most situations but if you ask permission and ask them if they want suggestions or if there's anything you can do to help boom you're good and the third final tip this is something this is a term that I have coined called depression buddies all right so if you have somebody in your life who is struggling with depression maybe it's a friend or a family member or something like that right what you can do is check it on them okay and this is a good habit to develop but like listen to how we're going to strategize this all right like if you're hitting them up 20 times a day saying are you okay are you okay are you okay are you okay again reverse the roles real quick would you want somebody asking you that 20 times a day no no you wouldn't nobody would so the best thing you could do is just check in with them you know let's say it's Monday you check in with them and say hey I just want to check in and see how you're doing gauge them see how they're responding do they want to talk are they trying to brush you off or they're like I'm okay I'm fine whatever it is okay feel them out and then just remind them hey if you need anything just let you know I'm here now wait another day or two days something like that give them time and then follow up with them again something that I use okay is my cell phone I set reminders on my calendar to check in with people all right because here's what happens far too often all right and this is what happened a lot of my experience maybe somebody checked in with me but when I'm depressed I don't want to talk to anybody right but with the way depression works is that maybe you checked in with me once and I didn't want to talk but the next day I do the next day my depression is saying Chris nobody cares about you you're going to be alone you don't have any friends your family doesn't care and all sorts of stuff right so that's why it's important to do follow-ups what you will see when you start to do this is that the person with the depression is actually going to start reaching out to you more often they might tell you hey I'm struggling today hey it's a rough day like that's the goal that's what we want to happen we want the person with depression to start being a little bit more proactive and reaching out to you and things like that and you know they might get annoyed that maybe you called them twice in a week which isn't too crazy and just remind them to say hey you know I'm just concerned I just want to be here for you if I can be okay so it's this game of balance where you have to check in but not be overbearing and you know your friend or family member better than anybody else so gauge them see where they're at remember to follow up don't just like take that one time they don't want to talk and say well fine I'm just never gonna ask them how they're doing again don't be a baby follow up with them all right so anyways I would love to hear from all of you if any of you have ever struggled with depression even if you went through a bout of being depressed do me a favor and leave some comments down below what has your friends or family done for you that has helped you with your depression leave them down in the comments okay but anyways again it's mental health awareness month let's try to help people learn how to help others who are struggling with depression please please please go out and share this video on social media all right but anyways that's all I got for you today if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you are new here I'm always making content to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being make sure you click that little round subscribe button if you want to see some more content you can click a top right there all right so thanks again so much for watching increase awareness and I'll see you next time