 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half-hour visit with your new neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by Maxwell House. The coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. In every family, there are special days. Days which, though simple, will live forever in our memories. There's the day Junior had his first haircut. The day Dad backed into the garage door. Or the day Mother didn't back into the garage door. In Springfield, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, it's dinner time. And one of those days is in the making. It will be known as long as an Anderson remains as the day Father received the Christmas bills. Like this. It's outrageous. That's what it is. The most outrageous thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Pass the potatoes to your father, Betty. Yes, Mother. Potatoes, Father. Thank you. It's gotten so that Christmas isn't a period of joy and celebration. It's a plot to collect all the money overlooked by the government. I've never seen such an assortment of bills. Kathy, won't you please eat your dinner? But I have to watch Daddy. I'm sure he'd much rather you ate your dinner. But I want to see the steam come out of his ears. The what? Well, Bud said when you saw all those bills... Holy cow, Kathy. I didn't mean it really would. I was just, you know... It sure is cold out today, wasn't it? Well, for certain people, it's going to get warmer. Much warmer. May I have the bread, please? Here you are, Dan. Thank you. Say, Dan. Look at this. $17.70 for mucklucks. Now, what the devil are mucklucks? They're knitted slippers, dear. For $17.70? That's for six pair, Jim. I sent them to my sister Kathleen and her family. Oh, fine. And what did she send us? Five napkin rings painted by hand in the kindergarten of a school for backward children. Jim, that's not the proper attitude to take. Oh, it isn't, isn't it? You don't see that brother-in-law of yours shelling out any $17.70 for mucklucks, do you? I tell you, Margaret, we've got to realize that we aren't the Morgans or the Rockefellers. We're just plain simple people, and we've got to act that way. Yes, dear. Say, Dan. When I was a boy, thrift was an important part of the daily life. The family worked together to see how little it could spend, not how much. They tried to help put something away for a rainy day. Not us. This family lives in a continual cloudburst. Dan. What is it, bud? As long as we're talking about money, I need $5. Bud! Oh, that's fine. That's just great. I give out with a long lecture on thrift and economy, and all it does is remind my son that he needs $5. Now, why do you need $5? To be a bird watcher. Oh, what? A bird watcher. You watch birds. I wouldn't care if you watched elephants. Why does it have to cost $5? Well, you have to buy a manual. It tells you how to watch. And you get a button, and they have meetings every Tuesday and Thursday night. No. But, Dan, watching birds makes you alert. No. It gives you a better understanding of your feathered friends. No. And it's educational. No. Oh, gosh. You certainly want me to be educated, don't you? Yes. Then I can go? No. Oh. Would you care for some more coffee, dear? I certainly would. Thank you. I'll bet Evelyn finis a bird watcher. You keep out of this, Kathy. Bud's got a girl. I have not. You just wait, Kathy. That's all. Just wait. Bud's got a girl. Dad. All right, Kathy. Stop that and drink your milk. But I did. It's all gone. Well, get some more milk and drink it. Gee whiz. And behave yourself. Now, where was I? The part about putting something away for a rainy day. Thank you. Rainy day. Oh. Look, I don't want you to think I'm being stingy, or that I don't want you to enjoy a healthy, normal life. But what's that? What's what, dear? And the buffet. Is that another album of records? Oh, you ought to hear them, Father. They're simply dreamy. You see, that's what I mean. A new album. And we've got so many records now, we can join the disc jockeys union. Do disc jockeys have a union, Daddy? How do I know? Oh, you just said that. I said if they had a union, we could join it. Why? Because we have so many records. Are you going to be a disc jockey, Daddy? No, I'm not going to be a disc jockey. Why not? Because I'm an insurance jockey. I mean, now. Oh, Cathy, drink your milk. I did, twice. Eat your cake. I don't have any cake. What have you got? Jello. Well, he didn't be quiet. Gee whiz. Father, there's no need to get excited about the records. And don't tell me what to get excited about and what not to get excited about. You have no right to waste money on more records. But, Father... $5 for bird watchers and $5 for records. They cost $7.50. $7.50? Betty Anderson, you mean those records cost $7.50? Yes, Father, but... Oh, that's fine. Just fine. We've got records you haven't touched in five years, but they're no good. You've got to buy new ones for $7.50. But, Father... When I was a boy, I couldn't buy a new record till the old one wore out. But, Father... My Dardanelles along the fuzz on the turntable came through. But, Father... And stop but-fathering me. You have no right to waste $7.50 on records. But, Father, I didn't. I borrowed them from Janie Liggett. I don't care where you got them. You have no right to... Oh. Well, where was I? Rainy day, dear. Page two. All right, Laugh. Go ahead. The whole thing is a big joke. It's very funny. If I'm telling you right now, we're spending too much money. And we're going to cut down. Jim, I don't think we're extravagant any of us. Okay, you're not extravagant. You just spend too much money. But we don't waste anything, dear. And we don't spend money unnecessarily. Oh, we don't, don't we? I suppose $5 to watch birds isn't unnecessary. If But has to watch birds, he can sit on the front porch and watch them for 10 years. It won't cost him a dime. Holy cow. This family has to learn to conserve. We've got to make things do. Here, look at this. Another pair of shoes for Kathy. That's the third pair in six months. But, Daddy, I'm growing. Well, do you have to grow so fast? Father! Oh, it's all right, dear. This is only joking. Sure, I'm only joking, Kathy. But there's one thing I'm not joking about. This family has to stop spending so much money. And we've got to stop running around. We're going to stay home and enjoy the simple things of life. We've got magazines to read, books to read. I spent $190 for the encyclopedia. And nobody's ever gotten past Marib to Mushy. Jim, there's one thing you don't seem to understand. Just a moment, dear. It's Kathy's turn. It is not. But I'll answer it anyway. See if I care. What is it you were saying, Margaret? Well, I was saying that there's one thing you don't seem to understand. That no one has even mentioned going out tonight. Everyone was quite satisfied and quite happy. And this entire discussion seems to be absolutely pointless. Is that so? If I didn't put my foot down every once in a while, this whole family would go to pot. Nobody would ever stay home. Daddy, it's for you. Thank you, Kathy. It's Mr. Smith, Daddy. Thank you, dear. Hello, Heck. No, we were just finishing our dinner. The drugstore? Well, I hadn't thought about going down there, but pick up cards for what? You mean the game is tonight? Oh, well, look, Heck, maybe you'd better not figure on me for tonight. Well, frankly, I forgot all about it and I got myself into a situation here. Yes, I know, Heck, but couldn't you get George Phillips? Not a town, huh? Just a minute, Heck. Kathy, there's somebody at the door. Okay. Sorry, Heck. Well, look, there must be somebody else you can get for the game. There isn't, huh? Well, I'll do whatever I can, Heck, but it's going to be tough. Okay. But if I'm not there by eight, well, you'd better call me. Okay, Heck, I'll see you. Oh, gosh, the things I get myself into. Is there anything wrong, dear? No, nothing wrong. Let's see. What were we talking about? Nobody goes out tonight. Well, of course I don't mean that we have to live like hermits. Of course not, dear. There are circumstances when it will be necessary and proper for us to spend an evening away from home. A special picture that we won't want to miss or meeting or something. You're so right, dear. But after that long lecture, you just finish naturally. You don't mean tonight, do you, dear? Oh, no, naturally not tonight. We'll all spend a quiet evening at home tonight. Daddy. Yes, Kathy? Daddy, may I please have a dollar and a quarter? You certainly may not. But Daddy! You see, Margaret, that's just what I meant about discipline. This entire discussion about thrift and economy was absolutely wasted. Everything I said went in one ear and out the other. I spent 15 minutes explaining that we had to take it easy. That we had to cut down on our spending and what happened? As soon as I stopped to take a deep breath, Bud needs five dollars to watch birds and Kathy needs a dollar and a quarter. Now, why on earth do you suddenly need a dollar and a quarter? To pay the paper, boy! Oh, you know, for all his talking, father wouldn't think of doing without that paper. It's one of those things that mean so much to every day that comes along. And something else we count on, you and I, day in and day out, is coffee. I mean really good coffee, like our Maxwell house. Coffee is sit down to an enjoy, cup after cup, that good to the last drop flavor. You won't find it in any other coffee. No coffee but Maxwell house. And as you'd expect, there's a very real reason why. It's a recipe. The only recipe there is for that good to the last drop flavor. It's mighty important that recipe of ours. Because the flavor of the coffee you enjoy depends on the blend, the kind of coffees in it and how they're put together. Now, coffee grows in many different varieties and you can blend them in all sorts of ways. But there's only one way, one recipe for our famous Maxwell house flavor. And when all said and done, it's this recipe of ours that makes the difference. The big difference between just another coffee and the wonderfully good flavor of America's favorite brand. It's a difference you'll taste for yourself the very first time you pour a cup of our Maxwell house coffee. And I hope you will, tomorrow, hope you'll start enjoying the coffee that's always good to the last drop. In the White Frame House on Maple Street, an hour has passed and a long, long hour it's been. For Jim Anderson, the minutes have dragged by an endless procession. His active mind is buzzing with a weird assortment of masculine schemes. Every one of them taken from the file headed how to get out of the house. A dozen fantastic plans have already been tried and none of them has worked. But you've got to give Jim credit. The kids still in there pitching like this. Margaret. Yes, dear? Do you have the correct time? Oh, I think so. It's, um, five minutes of eight. Uh-huh, just what I thought. This dog on watch is on the blink again. Just won't keep time. Well, what time do you have, dear? Seven of. Well, Jim, that's a difference of only two minutes. Only two minutes? Margaret, do you realize the things that have happened in two minutes? Wars have been won and lost. The entire course of civilization has been changed. I, uh, I better have it fixed. All right, dear. As a matter of fact, as long as I'm not doing anything right now, I might as well run down to the jewelers. And, uh, it might take some time. You know how fussy jewelers can be about to watch. So, uh, maybe you'd better not wait up for me. Jim. Yes, dear? Christmas is over. The jewelers all close at 5.30. They do. You mean, uh, all of them? Yes, dear. Oh. You ought to see the watch Joe Phillips got for Christmas, Dad. Boy, is that a watch. Shatterproof, sharkproof, waterproof, heatproof. And it's guaranteed to last him a lifetime. But it won't. What? He lost it. But instead of making bad jokes, why don't you go upstairs and do your homework? That wasn't a joke, Dad. You can say that again. You mean the whole thing? But. Go upstairs and do your homework. Okay. You, uh, you wouldn't want to help me, would you? That's right. Yeah, I, I sort of figured you wouldn't. Well, I'll see you later. Margaret, uh, I think I'll go out for a little walk. Why, Jim, it's snowing. Well, there's nothing wrong with a little snow. It does a man good to get out in the snow once in a while. The air, crisp and clear, the ground all white and peaceful. Jim Anderson, you're not going to tramp around in the snow at your age. I have enough to do without taking care of a sick husband. Uh... And stop pacing up and down the room like a caged lion. Father? Yes, Betty? I'll play checkers with you if you like. Thank you. But I'd rather see you doing your homework. Oh, I don't have any homework. I finished it this afternoon. Well, go sew something. Or, uh, read a book. And don't tell me you read a book. I'll spot you two kings. I don't need to be spotted two kings. I don't want to play checkers. Um, Margaret? Yes, dear? Do you need anything at the drugstore? No, dear, not a thing. We, uh, we're kind of low on toothpaste this morning. I got some this afternoon. Oh, you did. Uh, soap holding up all right? Just fine. Uh-huh. Say, I think I'll run out and get something to smoke. Yes, sir, that's just what I'll do. Jim? Yes, Margaret? I bought you a carton of cigarettes this afternoon, and there's a whole humidor full of pipe tobacco. Uh, uh, you know, it's a funny thing, but I just feel like smoking a cigar. Jim, I didn't know you smoked cigars. Well, of course. After all, there's nothing like a good cigar. You know what Rudyard Kipling said, a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Yeah, I'll get it. Jim, be careful. Oh! Oh! The dickens move the lamp over to this side. Oh, Jim, how could you? Well, how do you expect me to keep track of where the lamps are if you keep moving them around all the time? Anyway, well, I'm sorry, Margaret. I was just... The bulb's ringing. Betty, be a good girl and clean up this mess, will you? All right, Father. Don't worry about the lamp, Margaret. Did you get it fixed or something? A good lamp. Just look at it. Sticks lamp right in your way when you're in a hurry. Naturally, they get knocked down. Hello? Hey, hello, Hank. What do you mean, am I still here? Of course not. I left for your house 20 minutes ago. Hank, I'm doing everything I can. I can't do it, Hank. I can't just walk out. Because I can't, that's why. I am trying. Well, stop worrying about it. I'll figure something out. Okay, yeah, call me later. So long. It was Hector, honey. He just wanted to talk to me. About what, dear? Is anything wrong? Oh, no. He wanted me to come over there. He probably wants to talk to me about something. Like what, dear? Well, he... Well, it's probably very complicated. You'd be surprised. I'll bet I would. Hank, are you through with the newspaper, dear? I think so. Well, I guess I'll sit down and read the paper. That's a very good idea. Daddy! We're in the den, Kathy. Daddy, I just thought of something wonderful to save money. How much does water cost? Not very much, dear. Why? Well, it costs something to get it hot, doesn't it? So I thought, if I only took one bath a week... Are you supposed to be taking a bath now? Uh-huh. We'll take it. But you said we had to save money. And I thought if I only took... Kathy, go upstairs and take your bath. Gee whiz. You heard your father, Kathy. Now go ahead. First they want to save money, then they don't want to save money. Why don't they make up their minds? Say, did you see this in the paper? They're having a big meeting in the school auditorium. Tomorrow night. Oh. Yeah, that's right. It's tomorrow. Jim. Father, I put all the broken pieces on the service porch, but I don't think they can fix the lamp. It's a mess. Thank you, Betty. You're welcome. Were you going to say something, dear? Oh, no, it's all right. Mother. Yes, Betty. Have you seen the records I borrowed from Janie? Well, no, dear. I haven't. Where did you leave them? Well, I put them over there on Father's chair. Father, you're sitting on them. I am? Oh, I thought it felt kind of funny. Oh, Father, how could you? $7.50 worth of South Pacific. And look at it. They're only cracked a little, Betty. Well, look at this one. Only the front part of it's broken off. You can still play the whole chorus, and that's all anybody listens to anyway. She'll never talk to me again, and I don't blame her. Oh, Betty, will you please stop that moaning and groaning? I'll buy Janie another album. And stop looking at me as though I went around beating little children. Yes, Father. Man tries to spend a quiet evening at home, and what happens? Lamps fall down, people stuff records under his cushion. I'll get it. Jim, please be careful. Margaret. I don't make a practice of knocking lamps down. Anybody listening to you would think I broke a lamp every day. Yes, dear, but be careful just the same. Never liked a darn lamp anyway. The silliest looking lamp ever saw him in life. Hello? Yes, I'm still here. Look, heck, I told you in the very beginning I didn't think I could make it. Well, I did try. I tried everything but chloroform. It won't do any good to call me back later. Why don't you just forget the whole thing? Jim. Just a minute, heck. What is it, Margaret? Is that Hector again? Yes, dear, it's Hector. Well, Jim, if it's really that urgent, why don't you run over there? You wouldn't mind? No, but if they can't get anyone else, why don't you have them come over here for the game? Over here? There's no reason why they can't play poker here. There isn't? Of course not. Well, say, heck, how about playing over here? It would, huh? Well, fine. Oh, of course not. Margaret won't mind at all. Okay, see you in a little while. Goodbye. Margaret. Yes, Jim? Well, you see, I'd forgotten all about this date I had with the boys, and, uh, well, I told them to get somebody else. In just a moment, dear. But... You want me, Mom? Yes, dear. I want you to go to the delicatessen. Okay, I'll be down in a minute. Why does he have to go to the delicatessen? Well, you'll be busy getting the card things ready, dear, and there isn't a thing in the house. We'll have to serve something. Well, it doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Oh, no, but we'll need a few slices of ham and some liverwurst and bologna and cheese, a few loaves of bread, potato chips, pickles. Why do we need pickles? There's no sense in running hog wild just because a couple of men are coming over to play poker. I told you at dinner, Margaret, we've got to cut down on our expenses. All right, dear, no pickles. After all, father knows best. Well, pickles are no pickles. I'm inclined to think it's mother knows best when it comes to shopping for the family groceries. Take coffee, for instance. Mother knows that when she buys coffee, there's just one thing that means real value. It's the flavor you get for your money that really counts. And these days, she understands it's more important than ever to get the most flavor for every penny you spend. And that's just what you do get in our Maxwell House coffee. You get a full measure of that wonderful Maxwell House flavor, good to the last drop flavor no other coffee gives you. And that's why more people buy our Maxwell House than any other brand of coffee. So when you put out good money for coffee, be sure you get the most in value, in flavor and freshness. You always will when you open up a pound of Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good to the last drop. The lights are out in the White Frame House on Maple Street. The children are asleep, the guests are gone. The last chip has been put away, and the poker game is a thing of the past. Jim. Oh, you're still awake, dear? Yes, I've just been lying to your thinking. How did the game go? Fine, just fine. I guess I showed that Hector Smith how poker should be played. Bluffed him right out of two of the biggest pots you ever saw. Jim. Yes, dear? You know, I've been wondering about this sudden wave of economy. There isn't anything wrong, is there? Oh, no. Well, it was those darn Christmas bills. They really got me down. Tonight didn't help much, did it? I mean, we'll have to buy a new lamp and records for Janie. Well, it won't amount to much. No, I suppose not. Including the food and drinks, I figure that the quiet evening at home came to just 3250. 3650. No, dear, 3250. I can get a new lamp for... Oh. You mean you? I certainly did. Four dollars? And twenty-two cents. Good night, Mark. Good night, dear. Yes, Instant Maxwell House means great coffee instantly in your cup. Here's real instant coffee. All pure Maxwell House coffee in instant form. Enjoy Instant Maxwell House instantly. Good to the very last you know. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Boggy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. Don't forget, membership cards for the Robert Young Good Drivers Club are waiting for you at your local NBC station. Get a man-to-man or dad-to-daughter pledge and sign up today. Be a good driver. Get your membership card in the Robert Young Good Drivers Club today. Now until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Screen Guild Theater, which follows immediately over most of these stations. There are three top stars on Screen Guild Theater, next on NBC.