 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook Your Haunted Lives, True Tales of the Paranormal by G. Michael Vasey, a collection of creepy, often downright chilling true experiences of the strange and weird that'll keep you looking over your shoulder. Here are a free sample and support Marlar House by downloading the audiobook for yourself at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Johnny Depp, speaking on stage Thursday at Glastonbury Festival in Somerset, England, said this about President Trump. ***This is going to be in the press and it'll be horrible, but I like that you're all a part of it. When was the last time an actor assassinated a president? ***Of all the bandwagons you could have chosen to jump on, you chose the career-destroying Kathy Griffin one? President Trump admitted Thursday that he made no audio recordings of his meeting with James Comey, which would have been great news for Comey. President Trump was recorded on video recently driving his golf cart over a well-manacured green at his own New Jersey golf course. Driving onto greens is considered a serious faux pas among golfers, and then he started making bets with other golfers on the course and cranked up journeys any way you want it on the stereo installed in his golf bag. The Pentagon has blown $28 million in taxpayer money over the past decade buying the wrong uniforms for the Afghan Army. The uniforms featured a woodland camouflage pattern, but the problem is forests cover only about 2% of the country. ***Hey, Ahmed, it looks like there's a forest coming right for us, and the trees are carrying rifles! Cher is blaming Nancy Pelosi for that loss in Georgia last week. She's had two failed marriages, a variety show, a daughter who's had a sex change operation, so obviously she's the right person to listen to when it comes to political analysis. Boeing is said to be working on jets that fly themselves. Of course, the first question by the folks at United Airlines is who would drag the passengers off? A faculty advisor at Vista Marietta High School in Southern California has been fired after it came to light that the advisor had rigged the election for class president. Vladimir Putin has refused to return calls from reporters. North Korea says that President Trump is a psychopath who may launch a preemptive strike against them to distract from his problems at home. ***Hey, Pot, meet Kettle. A new study indicates olive oil can help you preserve memories. Now just remember that the next time I'm at the store. According to a new survey, the number one thing most Americans want to do on their vacations? Nothing. ***Hey, good news! I'm actually offering Marlar House Vacation packages starting at $1,000 per person, where you can stay in my basement for an entire week and do nothing! It's the perfect vacation! Don't talk to your travel agent, just email me directly. The latest report says that the modern KKK is beset with constant infighting. Well, if they got along with people, they wouldn't be a hate group now, would they? Well, it appears Mr. Kim Jong-un is just as insecure as the rest of us, and he is self-conscious about his body, specifically his ears. North Korea has strangely taken to photoshopping its leader's ears, which a pair of non-proliferation experts picked up on. Dave Schmurler of the James Martin Center for Non-proliferation Studies and Jeffrey Lewis of the Middlebury Institute of International Studies at Monterey say they've noticed several photos in which editing specifically targets Kim's ears. As Lewis puts it, he doesn't like his ears, or so it seems. The cosmetic alteration and others like it are likely designed to help Kim look a bit more handsome than he is in real life, Lewis says. His ears aren't Kim's greatest cause for distress, apparently. The chairman of South Korea's Parliamentary Intelligence Committee says Kim is limiting public appearances and travel over fears that there's a plot to cut his head off per the Korean Herald. Hey, you know what, you can do that with Photoshop, too. A Texas woman has had eight surgeries so far, with her goal to look like Melania Trump. I would make a comment about how stupid this is, but I'm just glad somebody's not trying to look like a Kardashian. The median age for Americans has risen to 38 years old. Hey, I'm above average! Burger King has started serving Lucky Charms milkshakes made with ice cream, syrup, marshmallows, and Lucky Charms cereal. And they're free if you can prove you're a real leprechaun. In Shelton, Connecticut, 33-year-old Lance Churchill would do well to choose his battles a bit more wisely. He's facing charges after police say he got into an altercation with a 5-year-old. Yes, a 5-year-old. This went down last Friday at the Apple Tree Daycare. Churchill was visiting for a Father's Day party where all of the children's fathers were invited. Police say a child playfully took the Father's Day card that Churchill received from his son and ran around the room with it. That's when Churchill, who is 6'4 and weighs 270 pounds, chased after the child, picked him up over his head and then pinned him to the ground and screamed at him. Lucky Care staff took the child away from Churchill and called the police. When officers arrived, Churchill allegedly wanted the 5-year-old arrested. Right instead, they arrested Mr. Churchill and charged him with risk of injury to a minor and disorderly conduct. Yeah, next time pick on somebody your own size, Lance. Hey, good news, Oregon. Your fresh meat supply just became more plentiful, thanks to a new bill passed overwhelmingly by the legislature and signed by the governor, motorists who crash into animals can now harvest the meat to eat. Yep, it's now legal to eat roadkill in Oregon. That's right, Oregonians, you'll never again have to worry about running out of possum in your freezer. Amazon is launching its own fashion service, allowing people to try clothes for a week before buying. Which is great because I could really use some new underwear. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe if you want to see more and click that little bell icon next to the subscribe button to be notified when I post new videos. And if you're already an official Weirdo, please share this video on your own social media. Find even more weird news that I didn't have time for on the Facebook page DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I'm Darren Marlar and I'll see you next time, Weirdos.