 What's going on you guys? Welcome to the single guy channel. I am not the single guy. We have a very special guest in the program. Some of you probably recognize him by his face already. We have Mr. David Hammond on the channel. David, why don't you introduce yourself to everybody? How are you guys doing? I don't know if you would know me by that name. That's kind of like self-developed is my is my rap name. Yeah, you just blew my cover bro and everyone knows. What's up guys? How you doing? Cool. Well, it's great to have you David. So what we're going to be talking about today is a subject that he's talked about a lot. I talk about a lot in this channel as well too. Probably getting more into a little bit into that realm and that's really how to be a man. What it means to be a man? A lot of my clients, they ask me, hey, Lloyd, you know, what are the characteristics? What are the qualities? What are things that a man does? So in your opinion, David, what do you think that those things are? Absolutely. So first and foremost, guys, if I look tired, it's pretty early. I know I'm Asian, but I just want to get out of the way. I'm usually not this tired. Anyways, with that said, yeah guys. So what it means to be a man? This is a great question. This also was not scripted guys. Like I had no clue. Lloyd was going to ask me this beforehand. That's an amazing question. And to be honest, dude, I'm going to give you a very like unorthodox answer. I'm going to give you a very kind of like against the grain, you could say, which really it isn't. I think when you hear that word, like, what was the question? What does it mean to be a man or what are the characteristics? Um, I would say what does it mean to be a man? Let's start with that. I know it's a very broad question, but I'm sure you've got a lot of material on this. Absolutely. So first and foremost guys, I think the first thing that comes to mind with that is kind of like a very old stereotypical, like the lumberjack guy with a massive beard. Like you've got to think of like advertising dash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. That's good. I'm talking like the big boys, right? I have an axe in their hand and I think guys, that's amazing. But in our today's modern world, what it means to be a man, especially with the rise of millennials myself, like I'm young. I'm 22. I don't know if you know that, but a lot of we're the generation. Lloyd, if you don't mind me asking you like 27, 26, 29, okay. You look young. So that's good, man. I think the biggest thing to get the chase guys is not so much like I always say, it's not so much what you do. Hell, it doesn't even actually matter what you look like. Mustache or not shaved head long hair. That actually is very little to do with it. It's the essences who you are, right? So I think masculinity in its purest form, which I like the word masculinity a bit more is more so living authentically meaning man. Look, dude, if you want to learn to make jugs, right? Okay. If you want to learn to make iPhones, if you want to learn to make earphones, dude, if you love fucking painting, if that's authentic to you and you can express that regardless of how you look. I don't give a fuck if you're six, three, if you're five, two, I don't care if you have shade head. Bro, man, that shit matters. If you can live authentically from that and allow that to pervade that in my opinion is the most masculine and pure one can get. Yeah, absolutely dog. And you know, it's funny you say being authentic and it sounds like a simple thing. Oh yeah, of course, everyone can live like that, but most people don't. Most men, they live by the dictations of their parents by society around them. They're very subject to that. And they don't live authentically them. So what do you think more guys can do to live like authentically in their life and to not be subject to these influences? Yeah, that's an amazing question to you. And it's so true, right? Like so many people say you see all these little cutesy little posters, right? Like just beat you live free. And it's like, hey, that's that's amazing. But when it actually comes down to it, like it's not very simple at all. When you have family, when you have friends, when you have the co-workers, dude, it's they're like leeches and chains. And that's actually the exact answer I always give. I truly believe one of the biggest reasons I was able to create this YouTube channel and continue to persevere was simply because I didn't have many, if any people tell me that I couldn't. And what I mean by this guys is I didn't have these so-called toxic friends or leeches dragging me down. Like I always say to clients and you guys that anyways, I'm talking too much, but misery loves company. Okay. And if people are suffering, they're going to bring you down. This is innate. Okay. If you're drowning in a pool, doesn't matter what's above you, you're going to grab. I don't care what's your mom. So what I'm saying guys is really guys observe the people in your life, cut them off because if they're not there, those leeches, those people grabbing you down, dude, you'll fucking fly. You're like a balloon. You just snip it and you'll go. It's very organic. So I think that's the answer. Yeah, absolutely. You know, the influences around you're super important. And unfortunately, I feel like when men are growing up in today's day and age, they don't have a whole lot of say in what their influences are. For instance, the school that they go to their parents, you don't get to choose those things. So it becomes important later on the choices that you make or the people that you spend time with when you're in those environments. What kinds of people do you think are a positive influence on other people besides rather than a toxic negative influence like you were talking about before? Absolutely. So myself guys, you know, my father passed away on his 18. I didn't have too many friends, which was actually a blessing, the friend part. It was just myself, my mother, which I didn't talk to too much and then a younger brother, which, you know, well, okay, it kind of is what it is. So for myself, I naturally gravitated towards YouTube, right? Individuals kind of like you and I. And back in the day when I was 15, who actually inspired me was a guy named or a man named Elliot Hulse, right? So this was, wow, seven years ago and he, I looked kind of looked at him as my father figure. So to answer the question, guys, the people who I think you can choose, see, here's a beautiful thing. Dude, look, if you have a laptop, a phone, I don't, I don't care. Again, I don't care what family you're in. I don't care where you live in the world. If you have a phone or a laptop, you have access to content like this. You have access to mentors like this and individuals like that were truly able to transform my life. So use this as resource. And there's no excuse. Dude, I don't care. You know, so many times look at clients to like, you know, I was raised without a father. I, therefore I can't ABCD and it's like, okay, great. So is I here. I am like, don't bullshit yourself. Like you have resources out there. So grab them and really utilize them because they're free and they'll fucking help, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think certain guys, you know, they might be stuck in a situation where maybe all their friends or the people around them just aren't a great influence on them. And what I say to those guys is there's usually one or two things that you can gravitate to, you know, every single person has something that you can learn from. Now you might not want to learn everything from them. You might not want to learn most things from them, but there's certain things, maybe they have an expertise in a certain area and you see how they conduct themselves in that area of their life. And I think that can help you out and, you know, progress you forward rather than holding you back and being subjected to the toxic, the toxic things that people around you are doing. You know, one of the, have you read there's a book out there called The Way of Men by Jack Donovan. Have you read that? I do. That was my next audio book. I haven't got, no, I, dude, it's literally in my library. The Way of Men. It's like tri-members. They're like skulls, right? That's like the front cover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're in for a treat. Like this book, like, I've read a lot of books on masculinity and a lot of books on like, you know, psychology and dating and stuff like that. This takes it from a completely different perspective because if you look at what a lot of the books are talking about, they say, oh, here's the feminine, here's the masculine. A lot of times they describe the masculine in terms of the feminine. This book only talks about men in terms of men. So how they raise themselves. Wow. Based off of other men as opposed to, oh, this is going to help you get girls or this is going to help you be more attractive. This is going to like, this is not the feminine. Right. It just talks about men in terms of men. I think that's why it's such a powerful book. So you're for a treat. Okay, dude, I'm reading it. I just got a free audible little credit yesterday on the email. And I was like, at first, I was upset. So I was like, I don't fucking want this. And now you just said that. Way of men, let's go. Great. Yeah, it's super, super short too. So one of the things they talk about there is they talk about the four pillars of being a man, which is strength, courage, mastery and honor. So those four things, if you have those things, that's part of being a man. And so what I like to talk about with a lot of my students and clients is like, how are you developing those things in your own life? So for you, David, do you think that there are some like baseline qualities that like every guy should kind of have besides authenticity that can help them become more masculine, help them become more manly? Absolutely. So those four characteristics or traits that you just listed, those really, so I think the reason I said authenticity, which initially came to mind is because that you can almost think of it like the paleo, like that's like your northern star and those four traits along with others are really there to prop that and support that because dude, authenticity, man, if you don't have what you say was courage was strength. It was honor and loyalty or mastery of mastery, mastery, but buddy, if you don't have that, you are not going to be authentic. You just won't like it's not going to happen. And I mean, again, you know, you can take this to many extremes and examples, but I mean, you look at guys like you look at profits, you look at Jesus, you look at like, you know, Muhammad and I'm not going to go to down this rabbit hole, but to speak authentically, you're going to need those four and of course I'm not necessarily comparing us to them. But so to answer your question, are there, okay, stop being on the bush. Are there any other traits I can give right now besides those four, which is mastery, courage, strength and honor, right? Those are great. Those are great. I'm Japanese. So honor, that's like in my blood. See how the samurai man? Are there any? Oh man, those are really good. I would say. I would, I would say loyalty, but I think loyalty comes back to honor and loyalty being to come back to thyself. Yeah, to be loyal, right? But to be honest, man, no, if you can do those four which props up to being authentic, man, you're killing it. You're fucking killing it. So that's awesome. What does what does honor mean to you? Because honor is kind of a broad term and honor means something for me, but I feel like it has different definitions for other people. So what does it mean with you and your life? Honor, yeah. Awesome, man. So I think all of us as individuals, particularly men, we all have northern stars and I just mean the beat of your own drum, right? A compass, if you will, we all have, we all kind of have a direction that we can feel innately, right? I think honor man is not bullshitting that and is continuing to stick to that and the irony, right? A lot of people think like, oh, you know, aren't honor purpose. They get all these ideas like it must be arduous to stick to this. It must be pain in the ass. When in reality, it's your. Dude, it's your greatest power. It's, it's think of like a warm hug, like a blanket. When you're in it, when you're in this frame, you just feel pure, right? So I think honor is when we stray away from that, which we all inevitably will, right? It's just to bring that back. Honor back to that mission, if you will craft. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it comes back honestly, like honor. For me, it kind of comes back to what you were saying before, which is the authenticity thing. Like you got to really be authentic and you can't be like a not honorable person will change his opinions and changes thoughts and change what he's saying. You know, to try and appeal to the other person, you know, like, you know, I think a lot of politicians out there aren't very honorable. You know, and when you do find a politician, when you do find someone who is honorable, that people, people usually go crazy for them. They usually love them. And so I hate them. What? Or hate them. Or hate them, or hate them. First hate and love thing here to is like, you're not going to be loved by everybody. And so that's the that's really that's really what it comes down to is I think a lot of men out there are trying to be people pleasers. And so as a result of being a people pleaser, they stop being honorable. Absolutely. Yeah, well said. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So David, what would you say are some tips that you would give just maybe everyday activities that guys can do to be more of a man? Like what are some things that you do and maybe hidden the gym or something like that? Yeah, absolutely. So I actually want to bring it back to being honorable. Like, I really like that word honor, right to come back to thy crafter, myself. So some traits to help us get back to the number one. Yeah, fitness, man. But here's the thing, guys, this is what I always say to clients. Okay. It really again, guys, it doesn't matter what you do. Hell, man, I don't care if you need to sip three, three leaves a day. Maybe it's getting on a zoom call right for class every single day. It's picking a few activities, maybe two or three that no matter what you stick to every single day. So whether some big common ones are fitness, right? Maybe it's choosing Monday through Saturday. Doesn't matter the weather doesn't matter how I feel doesn't matter how I look. I stick to that honor back to the craft, right? Maybe it's meditating. Maybe it's yoga. Dude, maybe it's going for a walk, right? But if you can pick a few things and continuously just hit that every single day when it comes back to the bigger mission, right? The compass, whatever it is, it's much easier to adhere to that. Right. So to answer your question, fitness, yoga, meditation, walking, or thesis and break once, but again, it really doesn't matter. Just pick some things that really just stick to yourself and stick to that. Yeah. So you mentioned you mentioned a lot of different great activities, by the way, and you, but you're saying like if you stick to one again and again, that will help improve your masculinity, like get good at it. Absolutely. Yeah. If you can pick three things that no matter what, man, maybe it's like a YouTube posting schedule Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or maybe it is like it really doesn't matter. But if you can pick three things that you stick to and you stick to that, honestly, for about three months, man, if you can stick to three things or three months, fuck, you're a deadly weapon, dude. Like you are, but it's not easy. It's not an easy thing to do. So yeah, that'll strike it for sure. Absolutely. Dude, I could not agree with you more, man. I think you said so many things that I agree with you on this video call. Do you have anything else? Any last pieces of advice when it comes to manliness for viewers before we sign off? Any last pieces of advice? You know what? Yeah, this is kind of, I wouldn't say this is like a shot to anyone, but last pieces of advice guys, I would say don't worry so much about the external. Don't focus too much on the external. The external always comes from the internal. Does that make sense? So this call was amazing because every quality you just spoke of is all internal. Honor, mastery, courage, strength. There is no external in that shit. No one said gold. No one said chicks like Nia. No one said money. Nothing, right? So I want you guys to really focus and really just cultivate these internal. It's not always fun. It takes longer at times. It's not fun doing the same thing every single day when no one cares when there is no gold, when there is no external, but I'm telling you guys if you want that external to come, which it will period. It's not like it works it'll come. If you stick to that and if you can do that man in my books like you're killing it. So that would be my last piece of advice. Dude, that was well said man. I mean like like I say on this channel all the time it's all about you like forget everything that's happening around you. This is all about you. Your journey is the most important journey in your life and you should never forget that. So David, thank you so much for coming on this video call this interview, whatever you want to call it. Where can people find you and how should they contact you? Yeah, absolutely guys. So on YouTube you can just type in self developed. You can type in David Hammett as well. I mean, they'll both pop up but yeah, self-developed on YouTube and that that'll be a good place to start. You can follow the Instagram from that but yeah, self-developed it'll be good. Is it self-developed without the developed without the ease or is you okay, you know, good. No, that's the logo. So like when you type it on YouTube itself like how you would spell it self dash developed. Okay, type that you're good but the logo yeah, I took out the ease. Okay, all right. Why not? Okay, gotcha. Perfect. All right. Well, yeah, David, thank you so much for coming on this program. Hopefully, we're going to talk again soon. If I'm ever in Toronto, I'll hit you up and we should get lunch sometime. Dude, that'd be amazing for when this whole thing passes over. Let's have a yeah, with all the guys man and talk all about this. Yeah, hopefully it happens soon. Cool. All right. Thanks you guys. See you. Peace.