 why the narcissist will always see you as their property, why they will always see you as an object that belongs to them. When all is said and done, the narcissist will go far beyond what is required in an attempt to ruin you, in an attempt to cause you severe and overwhelming shock and grief. They will try to leave you in a mental condition, where you are no good for anyone else. They will leave you stuck in a particular position, where you are unable to be moved or move, where you are so unhappy and emotionally confused that you can't go back to be in your true self. You can't go back to being the person you were before you met them. You're in a state of being highly and abnormally alert to potential dangers and threats. You're inaccurately filtering sensory information because you're in an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity. You're experiencing extreme physical sensitivity to particular conditions. You have a tendency to be easily hurt, worried, or offended, which are all results of the trauma. Because they damaged you, they inflicted harm on you, which then impaired your value, usefulness, and normal function, which is exactly what they want. Because it works to their advantage if they can keep you in that state, when you never should have been involved with them in the first place. Following your engagement with the narcissist, you have now let them define how you behave and treat other people, without realizing that everyone isn't going to be the same as them. Everyone isn't going to trick you. They're not going to try to take control of your mind. They're not going to try to control you, but the narcissist managed to disable everything that was once good about you. They've taken away your ability to make someone else happy. They've taken away your trust for other people. They've taken away your ability to love without concealment or deception, where you are not under their control, where you can be involved in other situations without being deterred by danger or pain. They put an end to all of that, which causes them to always be on your mind, where you will always remember them. You will always remember how they treated you, which they see as a successful outcome. They see it as a positive result. They get off on it. They enjoy it. It excites them, because it tells them that you're not going to be able to move on to someone else. It tells them that you're going to have problems with the next person. You're never going to be the same after you dealt with them. You're going to be single and alone for the rest of your life, which is satisfactory and pleasing for an abusive person, for a person who uses something to bad effect and for a bad purpose. They see that as an act of praise, as an act that displays respect and admiration. It elevates them. It makes them feel powerful and important. It makes them feel like they're in charge, like they climbed a mountain. They feel like they're the top dog who took control and gained possession of you. They feel like they got the best of you and now no one will be able to have what they stole from you, which is why they will often return to you. They will come back even after five years just to see that you're still single. You still haven't moved on. They will see that you just want to be alone and they get a kick out of it. It gives them amusement and excitement because they see it as though they've had a lasting and significant effect on you. They've left a mark. They've left a strong impression on you, that you are still exhausted and lacking enthusiasm. You are lacking interest and desire because you've experienced so much abuse. You have no motivation to do anything, which is why they come back because they want to confirm the effects of their mental and physical effort on you. They want to check that you're still alone, that you're still not wanted to be with anyone because they know you went that way before you met them. You wanted to begin a relationship with someone. That's how you ended up with a narcissist, but after you were involved with them, you became very serious and cautious. You lost courage. You lost confidence in yourself, which then caused people to treat you in an inconsiderate and exploitative manner, which then left you disappointed because you let the abuse define you. You let it change your characteristics because you interpreted the narcissist incorrectly. You imposed an excessive burden of commitments on someone who wasn't sufficiently enjoyable or useful because you didn't assess their value or quality. You didn't determine that they were not worthy of you. You made an incorrect judgment, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on your endeavors. It doesn't mean you have to admit failure or defeat because you went this way before. You should not give one incident the power to conduct who you are as a person. You should not let it tune you into the opposite of who you are because by doing that you were taking a loss. You were losing yourself and you were letting them win. You're letting that one act of defeat stop you from being yourself because you have a lack of love for yourself and you have a lack of courage, which is exactly what they want to see. They like seeing you being negative when you see the worst aspect of things and believe that the worst will happen. They want you to have this defeatist mentality. They want you to give up on your life and they want to be the cause of it. You have to find a way to be the same person you were before while still learning the lesson from being involved with a narcissist because while you may have made good decisions there's always something you could have done differently. There may have been something that put you in this situation something that caused you to be involved with a narcissist which is something you need to inspect to then make the necessary adjustments. You need to determine whether or not a person is worthy of you because if they're not worthy of you they're only going to mistreat you. They're only going to use you for a bad purpose. They're only going to leave you in a condition that is not going to benefit you in the future. Thank you for watching. I hope this video wears in it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in a video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coachnet.cafiver.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.