 Let them tell you what they want. The family is always there to torture you so that your ego gets smaller and smaller. Namaskar, my name is Marta. I have been following your teachings for some months now, about six months. I find it very valuable and liberating. I wanted to ask you, because I often feel that different people, including members of my family, are crossing my barriers and it makes me very angry. For example, they tell me what to do, how to do, what not to do, the things that I do not relate to and I do not agree to. And I heard your teachings, how to bend down and surrender in such situations, but I must admit that it's extremely difficult for me because when I bend down and I do not defend myself in those situations, I feel afterwards even stronger anger and resentment. I know this is my ego and I try to do as you say, but these feelings are still burning me inside and I feel terrible. And my question is, what should I do to bend down without feeling this emotion, without feeling as a victim somehow or a disadvantageous person? Thank you. You have to ask yourself one question. Do you want to go through life disturbed by the people standing in front of you, whoever it may be? It's a choice, it's firstly a decision you have to make. Do I want to live like this, yes or no? And the answer is definitely no. I mean, you don't want to live in that state, right? So you have to develop a strategy. It's a strategy, a survival strategy, you know? And of course, if it is based on the truth, nothing like it because it'll work. But the thing is that why are you so disturbed by all these people around? Let them tell you what they want to tell you, no? You're not obliged to listen to them. Let them tell you what they want. The family is always there to torture you so that your ego gets smaller and smaller. And a lot of the times, it is only when a person has learned how to bend and be quiet that these feelings start to go away after a while because suddenly you realize that the more silent you are, the more quiet you are, the less they're going to do it, not the more they're going to do it. In the beginning, it goes up the curve and then suddenly people realize that the only thing you're ready to talk about is the weather, how they look, how beautiful they look, or how handsome they look, not about how bad the makeup is or how ill-fitting the suit. That's not what the talk is always positive and it's always supportive. And if someone starts to give you advice on what you have to do, you have to be silent. In that moment, you go into the soul. You tune into your source. You're not listening to that person, actually. And it's in a humble state. You're not angry. You're not blaming them. It's a humble state, humble humility. You get angry because you're not humble, right? Even when I'm looking at you, I can see that there are layers to this person. One layer is joyous and in touch with the truth and then there's this other layer that's just totally miserable about what's going on. I don't know who is doing this or who is causing these problems to you. But finally, you have to say no to it. You have to say no. You have to say, I want to live a life which is devoid of too much of all of this. Even the greatest of spiritual beings and rishis and masters and all, they all have their moments. Nobody is totally immune to it. But those moments, they don't shake the system. It happens, you might get irritated, but you won't get deeply angry or deeply depressed or deeply affected, you know? So it's your decision first. Do I want these people around me to torture me like this? No. Will it help if I get rid of them? No. Because somebody else will take their place. Why is all this happening? Because I'm not tuned in. Because I'm not in touch with the truth of my being. If I'm in touch with the truth of my being, will this happen? No, in that moment, it won't happen. So you do an experiment now at the next family dinner. I don't know where these things happen. Probably it's at these tortures and family dinners, I suppose. You just are going to be very quiet. Let them speak. And if you're very quiet and you're very deep within yourself, remember the satsang now. Think of the satsang, your mind is not there. After a while, people will realize that you're not angry with them. You're not revolting, you're not rejecting. You're just neutral and you're quiet. Neutral and quiet. Each of the people you meet in your life who's not your family, you should have the same attachments to everyone or be detached from everyone. That's the way to be. Just because you share blood doesn't mean you're obliged now to sit at family dinners for the rest of your life. You are obliged to look after your parents. You're obliged to look after their physical well-being. Because the emotional well-being of another person is difficult to do. You're obliged to look after your children. You're obliged to look after your partner. The rest of the family, they should be glad if you are there. They should appreciate your presence. If they don't, it's not the place for you to be. And when you are there, you have to respect the other person. That attitude towards the other, however stupid they are and however they're attacking you, it has to be of respect because the other one is also an expression of truth. It's just perhaps in that very moment, not the case. The other human being has the same soul material as you do. So that fundamental respect towards everyone has to be there. And then you don't have to deal with the surface. The ego aspects of that personality or that person and the only way to do it, if you're still sitting at the table, if you haven't left the table, the only way to do it is to go into that quiet state within. You are saying that when you do that, that afterwards the anger is still there. But it's only there because you are expecting something from them. You're expecting people to realize being surrounding you. It's not the case. You are the realized being. You are the one who knows about these things. Do you think that if any of your family members knew about the truth and about the connection with the truth within, that they would treat you like that? Would they treat you like that? If they knew about these things, they don't. But you do. So you are an advantage and you also have a responsibility because of that advantage. So dinner, everyone's at the table. You're at the table and someone starts just telling you what you have to do or how you have to live or... And then in that moment, you just quiet down and as far as possible, move the topic to the weather. What car they bought or if it's someone else who's just bought a great dress, makeup, movies, don't go into discussion about the content of the movies, let them talk. One has to defend oneself that way. And for women, makeup is the most amazing conversation piece. It's like you can talk about hair, makeup, clothes, that's never going to reach to any big discussion. And with men, let them talk about whatever they want to talk about their cars or their success at work or things like that. And for someone who's neither a man nor a woman since that also has become a big topic in today's day and age, talk about something that interests them. You can't allow another person to shake you. You have to make that decision. No, that is a spiritual warrior. Someone who decides not to get shaken. You get shaken, you're going to get sick. Simple. When there is anger in the body, it leads to illness. It doesn't lead to joy and fun. People who allow anger to take over their systems too much, they become ill in the later part of their lives. They become sick, they get diseases and things like that. Do you want that? No, right? Exactly, then take it, take it up now, today, this moment, bending.