 And some people wonder why I use YouTube couples as examples of unhealthy relationships in my videos. What is up everybody this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from pop culture to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and for everybody who was signed up over on Patreon at the $10 tier and above I am starting the monthly group calls the last Thursday of this month it's going to be the last Thursday of every month so I just made a post over on Patreon I also opened up the private Facebook group so make sure that you go check that info out and if you would like to get involved and be part of this group monthly call make sure you head over to Patreon and check it out it's always down in my description I'll put it in the pinned comment as well so yeah a lot of you know I've been getting some flack lately for using examples from YouTube as what an unhealthy relationship looks like and people are coming out me sideways but this morning one of my most wonderful subscribers Josephine she actually has a YouTube channel as well I will link it down below but she tagged me in a post on Twitter from Millie Bobby Brown and I was just appalled so here's the clip right here so I just started that new show you he's not creepy he's in love with her and it's okay so I'm obsessed with it I've been watching it absolutely banging that flicks by the way I know everybody's gonna hold on I need to pause it I need to pause it okay I know everybody's gonna say oh he's a stalker why would you support that no like he's in love with her and it's just like just watch the show and don't judge me on my opinion you guys you guys this this right here is the exact reason why I talk about this stuff people not even just young people but people in general need better examples of healthy relationships that they're seeing on a regular basis like oh my god you guys if my son if my son posted this to social media and I saw it me and him would have a long talk a long talk all right like you guys there's a reason why I do what I do but part of it is because I realize this is a great way for my son to learn things my son loves watching YouTube he loves watching movies and stuff like that and we sit down and we talk about it like okay do you think this is good do you think this is bad why explain it to me then I talk to him about it and say okay this is healthy this is unhealthy right there's a reason why my son doesn't watch the Paul brothers and that's not even a choice of mine he just doesn't do it all right so when our children are looking at unhealthy relationships whether they're on Netflix or they're on YouTube we need to sit down and talk to him about it but not only that I know like for for the vast majority of my audience my typical age range for this channel is about like 18 to 34 all right so this is the prime time where people are looking for love looking for the person that they're gonna marry and we need to discuss what healthy versus unhealthy relationships look like in my video that I just made about bionic pig I talked about it there's a right way and wrong way to do everything right so when we're looking at love when we're looking at relationships okay there is healthy love and there is unhealthy love there's healthy relationships and there's unhealthy relationships for those of you who don't know about the show you over on Netflix or you haven't watched any of my other review videos like there's gonna be some minor spoilers while I discuss this but for the most part like you get the gist of it just from watching the trailer all right but here let me summarize this show for you real quick okay to give you some context as to what Millie Bobby Brown think is healthy love okay Joe Goldberg the main character meets Gwen of Year Beck at the bookstore bookstore that he's a manager of all right and he becomes obsessed with her immediately all right we hear his first person point of view and he becomes obsessed with her he leaves that night and he goes and he just starts looking up all her information looking at her over on uh you know um Instagram and Facebook and all these other things he starts stalking her because that same night he shows up at her house after he found it okay Joe is not only a stalker but the guy is a murderer okay even the actor Penn Bagley has been posting on Twitter saying like yo do not be attracted to this guy Joe this is not good like you guys like that is what I deal with on a daily basis I'm like looking at this stuff I'm like you think this is a role model you think this type of behavior is okay and like trust me I get it I get it my life was chaotic for the first like 26 years of my life hell if I'm being honest first 28 years of my life like a few years after getting sober right we need to look at these things and really understand what healthy and unhealthy is so if you are attracted to a guy who is stalking and murdering that's an issue so one of the things is that we need to talk about when it's coming to healthy and unhealthy like you on Netflix I understand why people are conflicted I understand now part of it is is that I know a lot a lot of people think that Joe is attractive right now let me know this down in the comments below because I've done it too I've done it with women in the past too I have justified the fact that they are attractive really attractive or like even in my case I thought I was like man I have no idea why she's dating me way out of my league I think that about twisted all the time I fooled her somehow but like the more what I've noticed with humans in general the more attractive a person is the more BS that we'll put up with like let me know down in the comments below if you've had a past relationship whether it was just a hookup or a long-term relationship whatever it is let me know did you ever stay in a toxic relationship or even get into a toxic relationship with somebody that you weren't even like that like mentally attracted to just because their physical attractiveness was really high let me know I want to know if I'm the only guy who does this right so I understand why people find him attractive but the thing is people think that his obsession is a good thing like you guys let me tell you this if you are like in the like courting phase if you're just starting to see somebody you know you're just starting to date like I've mentioned this in other videos before if they are obsessive that is a red flag that's not a good thing so a lot of us who struggle with you know like we don't get enough attention we feel like this need you know we need somebody around all the time we hate being lonely we're afraid to be lonely we are more likely to find somebody that will give us an unhealthy type we're more likely to find somebody who will blow up our phone all the time but these are signs of a bad relationship okay because the other person that you're seeing they don't know how to turn that off right so yeah maybe it's nice in the beginning when they're showing you all this attention but when you need some space they will freak out like I've dated uh women like that like where I'm at work and they will blow up my phone where are you where are you right and I'm like oh my god I'm working you know what I mean and this is why we need to work on our own mental health and we need to work on our own fear of abandonment because typically when someone's blowing your phone up like that it is because they have a fear of abandonment or they're having like irrational fears and anxieties all right but anyways like when talking about Joe and Beck from you let's move past the murder let's move past the stalking and talk about some other issues in their relationship going through each other's phones going through each other's phones like you guys that is not healthy at all if you're in a relationship where you have to go through each other's phones you really need to sit back and reevaluate that I have been in relationships for years for years where half of the relationship was trying to figure out each other's passwords to our phone and going in there and we were constantly catching each other doing stuff right talking to other people are doing whatever like that like that wasn't healthy that was not healthy so like Tristan and I we've been together for over two years now never gone through each other's phones not with that intent but like it's also nice because I'm not a scumbag guy anymore so I can hand her my phone at any time and I'm not afraid of what she might find so like when we're driving on my here look up directions or find you know the place that we're going to go eat or whatever I can handle my phone I'm not worried about who's going to be texting me but both Joe and Beck were snooping on each other you guys that is a red flag for an unhealthy relationship all right the other thing that we need to talk about is the baggage from previous relationships so one of um even though Joe kind of hit it a little bit better like one of Joe's biggest issues was his previous relationships right um Candice cheated on him so it made him extra paranoid about Beck and that's one of the reasons why he went through her stuff all the time now in Beck's case a lot of her baggage came from her alcoholic father fear of abandonment and all sorts of things like that right and that kind of paranoia okay now we all have baggage don't get me wrong we all have baggage but if you see my other videos where I'm talking about relationships and couples and things like that like you need to work on that stuff it is not fair to bring that and put that on somebody else and if you are because you're still working through the process apologize for it say hey I'm sorry I'm dealing with Simone stuff like you need to realize that a lot of things are you issues and not them issues all right if you're paranoid because your ex cheated on you do not put that on your new partner and if you do because you're still having problems um managing your emotions like you need to apologize to that person say hey this isn't about you I did some videos with my mom about relationships and we talked about how 90% of arguments are based on things that didn't even happen in that moment right so like a lot of things are bringing up old fights but a lot of it is bringing in baggage from the past now let me tell you this the only good thing that Beck and Joe did that entire series for their relationship was go to therapy and even that was terrible you know why because Beck was getting freaky with the therapist and Joe only started seeing the therapist to snoop on Beck some more all right so that wasn't even that great okay so when I see somebody like Millie Bobby Brown saying oh oh this isn't a bad relationship he just loves her like no baby girl that ain't good that ain't love and the last thing I'll talk about is have any of you seen the show love on Netflix they just had the final season last year it's three seasons if you haven't checked it out I absolutely love that show because it is a perfect example of a terrible relationship right so for example one of the characters is like struggling with addiction and they get sober but then the person that she's seeing Gus he's codependent so it is a perfect example of a few things codependency and why you don't date your first year sober all right but anyways I did some reviews on the show love a long time ago and like I talked about how this show is a perfect example of an unhealthy relationship and going through my comments and seeing how many people think that that is healthy just it hurts my soul okay so again like I'm gonna keep making videos I'm gonna keep making videos I'm gonna keep using youtubers as an example and if any youtubers out there are watching this start showing a better example of what healthy relationships look like or what taking care of your mental health looks like all right because you have kids like Millie Bobby Brown as well as a bunch of other people watching YouTube and thinking that unhealthy things are healthy things all right so thanks again uh Josephine for showing me this Millie Bobby Brown uh video because I heard about it and I hadn't seen it I'm like oh I need to make a video about this so thanks again Josephine but again let me know down in the comments below like have you ever dated somebody because you were extremely physically attracted to them but it made you lower the bar in other aspects of relationship all right or let me know some of the other questions I asked you in this video all right anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and don't forget we are doing the monthly group called the last thursday of every single month and make sure you go join the private facebook group all right thanks again for watching I'll see you next time