 Hi, guys. Can you hear me? Yes. Great. So, that really pushes me through to my side of the story. It starts with meeting Danny Bowen in New York City. Danny was in San Francisco. So, in 2012, in January, I was in between jobs and I just came back from a cycling trip in Vietnam. I was trying to find a good fit and an employer this one day and I had a bunch of interviews and on my last interview, I got a missed call from a number from San Francisco. On the other end of the line was Chef Danny Bowen from Mission Chinese in San Francisco. And we had a mutual friend introduce us. He thought we would be a really good fit. So, he asked me to meet him hastily in half an hour and I said yes. It was my last interview anyway. I should just squeeze it in. And I biked over to meet him in the Lower East Side and I saw him and I felt really comfortable right away. He looked like any one of my friends. He had this Raiders beanie on and he was wearing a black and white outfit and boots. And he just, yeah, I felt comfortable with him right away and we talked for an hour and he asked me to do something pretty insane, like insane terms for a trail. This doesn't happen in any old kitchen but since he didn't have a kitchen in New York City, he asked me to fly to Atlanta in four days and I barely knew him and he asked me to do a trail with him at a Mission Chinese food pop-up at a diner in Atlanta and I'd never been there before. And if I impressed him then he would consider training me in his San Francisco location. For me, I didn't want to give up that crazy opportunity. It sounded weird and a little sketchy but I wanted to do it. And so I decided to go and we worked out and we opened up a restaurant in New York City together. Somehow we made it and we'd both never done it before. At the opening for the restaurant, Daniel Bleu showed up and we didn't expect him to show up but he came into our kitchen and cooked an omelet for us in our walk and I felt like that was a precursor to all of the accolades that we'd received that year. It was really exciting to have him there and we were just in disbelief. That also turned into having weird opportunities to meet other people like Rene Redzepi. He came into the restaurant. I had a shot with him. I had a shot with Leonardo DiCaprio and Charlie Rose. It was crazy. But what was really fun is that none of us had been in any of our roles before, all of us. I had never been an executive chef before. Our hosts had never done those jobs. It was all personality based. Bartender, servers, and we were just like a bunch of weirdos in the Lower East Side trying to figure out how to do it together. We loved what we made. We were a beacon and people bought in and they liked what we were making and it felt special and magical. The accolades started pouring in. We were one of the first restaurants from the New York Times to receive two stars. Danny was asked to speak at MAD2. He became a James Beard Rising Star chef and then somehow at the end of that year we also got New York Times' Restaurant of the Year. It was really fun. My job meant that I was having so much fun I just really wanted to keep up with the demand. An old chef told me back in the day that when you're a line cook, you don't think and just do. I was doing this as my first executive chef position. I had this yes chef mentality and that kicked in early. That meant we were just trying to keep it open and serve as much food as possible. That meant 90-hour work weeks, expediting lunch and dinner. It was really tough but, again, still really fun. Small things started happening. One time I was burning out my wok which means you get the wok to this red hot point to remove the grease and I burned my entire hand on that. It was purely from exhaustion but I didn't know it then. I was constantly getting sick. I developed this really hoarse voice and I couldn't really do anything about it because I just needed to keep going. Eventually, Danny and I went to Best Buy, this electronics store and we bought an amp and a microphone like this, like a Janet Jackson style microphone. We tried to make it work so that we were just pushing. Meanwhile, I was working in sane hours but so were my cooks. They were on salaried wages and I was having fun and trying to have as much stamina as me. Eventually, they were dropping like flies. They were emotional and tired and I had to really sort through all of their problems with them and made lots of time to talk with them through their emotions but it was a lot of work and so I realized that I really need to restructure the management, restructure the schedule and move us all to AM and PM shifts instead of working all day on salary. So we doubled in staff. I got a sous chef about seven months in and it started to get fun. I was starting to get creative and I felt the courage to put dishes next to Danny's really amazing, spicy Sichuan dishes and I made a cabbage salad. That was one of my first things that we made and I was really excited about that but we were also celebrating our accomplishments often. We were all partying together. We were working together and partying together and there were a lot of things to celebrate often. We would break daily records. We'd get a good review. We had new chef's friends in town so there was always a reason to go down to the bar down the street. One day we were shooting our cookbook and it was an amazing day, a long day of shooting and really fun. We threw a party at the restaurant and at the end of the long shoot day we had a tiki bar down the street. I was jumping around my friends at the end of the night like I normally do and I jumped on two of my friends but at that point we all tipped over and the weight of two of my friends crushed my leg and this wasn't any old hairline fracture. I think it broke in about 14 different places and everything had to stop at that point and it was really scary. I had to get a surgery. I had to get an implant from the length of my tibia. The way they did the surgery was they made a small incision at the top of my knee and hammered this titanium rod all the way down to my ankle and I had three screws there. It was really intensive but meanwhile I was still eager to get back to work. I felt upset because I missed an opportunity to cook at MAD 3 while I was healing. I missed my restaurant family and what I did was take my bone-healthy diet seriously and take my physical therapy seriously and I recovered in the quickest amount of time possible which was about two months. I wanted to get straight back into the restaurant and when I returned before I could really get back into the swing of things and catch up soon after the Department of Health closed this down. Our space was a really interesting space. It was really fun. There was this long hallway after waiting three hours and you would get to a point where you go up these steps and then there was our magical weird dining room. It had a dragon on the ceiling and it had pink lights and was loud and fun but this dining room was actually built illegally by a former tenant. It was set as a deck in the backyard and what the tenant did was build these temporary walls around the deck and built a shoddy roof on top but this structure wasn't DOB compliant and we didn't know, I didn't know but it was also really poorly made so when it rained, it rained inside the restaurant and it didn't protect us from road inside there. There was a condo being built behind the restaurant for several months. It was formally an empty lot when we moved in and a 20-foot deep dirt hole was being dug up for a foundation so these mice were displaced and were coming into the restaurant so we did as much as we could. We spent thousands of dollars on trying to make the place work. We hired at least eight different exterminators and the staff really also wanted to get back open. They helped patch holes, vacuum every corner and we hastily reopened only to be closed again. After that, I met with a bunch of architects. I sat in a bunch of meetings. I really wanted to get the restaurant back open but it was also really expensive to rebuild in such a poor space. One day, I was with a manager on the rooftop of the dining room peering into that dirt hole that caused our demise and I saw a contractor in there and asked him what he could see from his point of view. He told us that in the time that he was on site he saw us sinking into the earth. He saw us fall 10 inches into the dirt and that's when I realized that we had no foundation. The literal foundation of the restaurant was missing and that was the last straw for me. I contributed my two cents and I wanted to move permanently so we shuttered. Danny was also working on a project to open Mission Cantina, a Mexican restaurant down the street and I helped try to get it open but for me it was personally difficult to be creative suffering that loss, the trauma from closing that restaurant and as soon as we got open, a few months later I was sent to do a series of pop-ups and Mission Chinese was around in New York again this time kind of like a touring band. We pop up three or four times a week at two different restaurants and I'd prep out the mise en place for it solo in the basement of Cantina and then pack it all up catering style. We'd serve about 100 people, a 10-dish menu and it was pretty hard, it was just me and two other cooks one of whom had never cooked before and what I was really working towards was retaining three salaries, mine and two managers that we wanted to retain. So what we do is pin up this dragon, run a full service break it down and do it again and this was happening week after week. For me it was really hard to stay motivated I was suffering a loss that summer my brother's wife of one month got diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away all in the summer months of running a pop-up. So often I had to take a breather and try to figure out how I was going to stay motivated but I knew I wanted to see this through and I was excited to see what the next chapter was for us. So after one year at this point we finally got a lease. I was super excited to have a second chance to do it more responsibly. I had new confidence in my judgment and I felt loyal and ambitious and determined to stick with the brand and I really wanted a new place to do it right. For me that time around it wasn't an option to burn a candle at both ends. And the new restaurant that we secured that Danny found was in a neighborhood that I was really excited about. It was five times bigger than our last space. 130 seats, it had two bars, a big kitchen a wood oven, it even had a garbage room and an office which I was really excited about and I remember one of the first times I was touring the space I felt giddy that this was all mine and we could do it again and I slowed down and realized how big and vast it was that this was all mine but I also had to figure out how to keep it looking good and hire a whole team to keep it clean and run it with me. And so I knew that I needed the basics. I needed a bigger management team, a bar director for the two bars, salaried benefits, I didn't want to do take out and delivery I just wanted to get us open and keep us open for lasting power. So sustainability was planned from the jump. I really wanted to have an intellectually curious staff that if we liked something we could learn about how to do it and figure out how to include it in our services and I really was excited about reintroducing Danny's classics and amping them up adding more to the menu and creating balance. For the menu I was super excited about making a new menu with Danny to make a new menu that was challenging for ourselves and our cooks and I was so excited I compiled all my notes from a year's worth of waiting and I had about eight pages of menu ideas and I really wanted it all. I wanted cooling options with milks and nut milks which is not really traditional in an Asian restaurant. I wanted ice garnishes, sour dishes to balance the fat and I wanted a huge bar program that had a cocktail menu a natural wine program and a tea program these are all things I didn't know about and at a former restaurant we just had a five-seat bar so we didn't really get to do any of these things but I knew that we had more tools and more resources this time. Tartine bakery heads came and taught us how to make a naturally fermented dough we made a version of a scallion pancake and cooked it out of our wood oven we made a pizza I made my own version of a chicken gallanty and like Chakpa Pen showed you guys my grandmother showed me how to make a Filipino version of that dish so we stuffed it with chorizo and added eggs and we had a saute station so we wanted tapioca dumplings with twill and clams and black bean sauce but bound with blood, a raw bar a clay duck, prime rib we wanted to debut dessert for the first time in a style of a Taiwanese shaved ice with pop rocks so we really wanted to do so much but we also wanted to have an accessible menu where you could have a quick meal and have a beer and a fried rice or come for a special occasion and get a prime rib and caviar and champagne so what we were doing was trying to redefine ourselves in our cuisine we were trying to evolve but we really needed a bigger management team one of the first staff members I hired was Quinn Lee he was hired to be my chef to cuisine which I needed right away he worked with me at the pop-up and we come from similar restaurant backgrounds same with Sam Anderson who was hired as our bar director and he now is one of our managers and those two guys were right behind me and what I really loved about those changes is that these two came from a similarly creative point of view Danny and I view the work that we do as solely creative and they also have technical skills and complement our creative visions that allowed us to really sprint toward our goals and we were able to hire more support behind them that meant that our staff brewed about 65 our management team grew from 4 to 10 and we were able to have an edge with hiring and we worked healthcare and paid vacation into the production of costs and it doesn't really seem like much to offer those things but for New York standards it's pretty big because as we know American healthcare system is quite a sham so we had a quiet reopening in lieu of having our friends and family we opened just to our neighbors it was also pretty built it was built in with a lot of pressure from the media we were really watching what we were doing and with that huge team we reopened and we were back we were in full swing again and I started expediting 900 plates every night my hoarseness and my voice came back but this time I had health insurance so I was able to see a bunch of different doctors and I got two false diagnoses until I found out that I developed vocal nodules which is an irreversible and permanent loss of range and this was just from the years of expediting and misuse but I had this grim realization that the only reason why the hoarseness subsided was because I broke my leg so it had to take me forcing it had to really force me to stop and the break caused that however this time it was less bleak because I had Quinn training right behind me he was training to share in my responsibilities with expediting so I could plan on sharing the jobs with him as I created infrastructure for my role and planning for support was super important to me flying by the seat of my pants had its time at Mission Chinese One and the spontaneity of it all was really fun but it really made things difficult I know that we needed focus and discipline just because we survived a day of service didn't mean that we needed to treat ourselves and I also gained the confidence to speak out when my limitations were being breached because if I had been asked to do a project this scale I would have said no because I'd be too afraid but the humility that I gained from this trying process gave me confidence in my own decision making that this time it was coming from a smart and informed perspective so we were able to make drastic changes our backs weren't against the wall and we were able to refine our operation our cooks were immediately put on hourly wages they just cooked dinner and they had a lot more stamina and they were able to keep up with the insane high volume they were also a lot more skilled we had a beautiful sound space built by an architect we aced our health inspections and we were really adaptable to change ourselves and what we offered we were willing to change the atmosphere for our guests small things like brighter lighting and quieter music because people really wanted to stay and dine we worked towards being more accessible we wanted things to be more fun for us and more profitable but as the chef doing this again for the second time around I feel like I was also better at profits and losses and so building a menu where I was acquainted with the ingredients meant that I was familiar with the cost of our ingredients and some items were lost leaders and building a menu out with pricier items was much easier for me we also made a lot of time early on even when things were really difficult to have wrap meetings and communicate this evolved into a lot of structured, required meetings we have so many a week that we all tend to weekly manager meetings, daily line up end of the night reports and we all send a report to Danny at the end of the night we have weekly chef meetings now that we just started where we talk about new food ideas only and weekly front of the house meetings one of my favorites are our round table discussions which we have and we really created an environment for us to be open and brainstorming solutions we promote independent problem solving and we really respect each other's time by saving up proposals for each other during the week and then pitching them to each other once a week for example front of the house can offer ideas to the back of the house offering mid-range menus it doesn't seem out of line for them to ask us of something from the kitchen we test solutions and bring them to action as new protocol our mission statement has been updated at least twice by now which I think is great progress and we experiment with new apps for reservations where we can be more respectful to the customer's time instead of waiting them waiting and we can know how many you expect it protects us from cancellations and those apps also help concierge directly with a customer so jobs are also divided more equally we're able to help each other with our different roles but there's one person in charge of facilities one person in charge of hiring for a dishwasher and a porter or event inquiries and it's not on just one chef or one manager so in turn that helps us boost sales sell out the private dining room and we have more promotion and a cleaner restaurant and really what's the most exciting part is that we have less time catching up and more time being on the same page so we're able to talk about new ideas and we could prep for our day off information is shared and resolved by a night or a week's end making us really productive for chefs recipes are written right away and you're responsible to tie up loose ends to be off the grid for your days off this hyper communication means that we're on the same page often so when we talk about new ideas that it's always like a place for us to talk about ideas that I feel like most restaurant teams don't make time for we ask ourselves how can we be more dynamic how can we be more independent problem solvers how can we be better leaders and managers and how can we lead better by example and we're definitely not perfect but the fact that we have dialogue on these topics is pretty key for for us and for my chefs how can we create a better kitchen environment chefs can't just be technically skilled but also really great communicators where we can turn our shouting into constructive criticism and remember that we're in a teaching role which makes it more rewarding and makes our jobs easier another thing that we ask is how can we sell these fast food style items next to more refined dishes we really want to offer it all and be more challenging but innovative and the biggest one that's difficult for us in New York City and America is how can we address the wage gap between front of the house and back of the house in New York because we have this systemized tipping system that's very difficult to deal with and especially at Mission it's a little more complicated because we're not a casual restaurant we're not a fine dining restaurant and we also are in close proximity to Chinatown so we need to have a perceived value for our dishes because you can get a plate of dumplings down the street for a dollar about two blocks away but it doesn't make sense to include tips in some of our dishes where a plate of noodles could cost $30 so what we've done is experiment with having my cooks work as runners for lower impact services like lunch and they can learn a new skill set of dealing with customers but also share in the earnings which is much more natural and organic for us for front of the house with Sam we've asked questions he's proposed to me like how can we deal with a front of the house that is sometimes these servers are treated as servants sometimes where we have clientele that might snap their finger at them because they need to be treated in high regard and they should be revered as valuable guides in our huge choose your own adventure and we're going to have a special menu with over 40 items for me I'm in a special position where my general taste is more encouraged than a typical chef it's more than just offering delicious menu items and figuring out how to put a consistent menu out having a new platform and a new restaurant meant that we had to work towards a new restaurant identity and that gave me the opportunity to build that piece by piece and time to produce things that I'm excited about produce really cool events or work on a brand building project or idea and I feel really lucky that at Mission Chinese my personal interest is encouraged and I get to contribute to many things like design elements and curate and collaborate with a lot of artists that I look up to and have wanted to work on at the back of our restaurant we have a yearly installation that's built where artists will do an entire installation and that's debuted at Lunar New Year I've also been able to work on designing branding items like shirts and business cards menus and match books and at the space I've been able to work with artists to make unique furniture for us, fish tanks design the awning and even make, even choose the bathroom music so it's been really really fun so it's really gratifying to be creative not only with food and collaborate on so many levels and I really feel like it's a generous showing that I'm trusted and valued I've learned so much about working with an owner I learned that a foundation of trust is super fundamental that this trust that I have with the owner really needs to be built and rebuilt and needs constant attention Danny and I really work towards being honest and being direct which has been necessary to keep moving forward because at the end of the day we're very different people and how we arrive at a solution is very different but we're able to share in a genuine way and so having some similar interest and a vision of where we're headed is crucial to our growth I feel like when I have this aha moment and I suddenly have a big idea for the brand and elevation or micro design detail I'm generally supported from Danny to see my idea through and after all these years I even have the option for partnership which I really feel like is a huge showing a faith and appreciation between an owner and an executive chef and looking back I realize it was insane it's taken five years just to get this one project up and running and I did it for the sake of my ambition like we all do I've given up a lot for my own ambition like a lot of people here my own chronic injuries both self inflicted and work related like many of you I've missed out on births and deaths and holidays in the past five years I've experienced deaths in my close family with people that I didn't get to care for on their last moments on earth and I've also gained six nieces and nephews who don't know me well enough because I've chosen to spend my time in basement kitchens all the way in New York City and inside I know genuinely I wanted to do this but I'm now really starting to think about the things that I've missed out because I've made time to think about them I was determined to succeed especially with this project and had so much momentum behind it which had so much momentum behind it and we hit the ground running at our first location at first I really wanted to see if I could take this challenge of opening up a Chinese restaurant see how far I could push my creativity but later on it became about sustainability for a work culture for a better business for us individually and as a team but through it I've also been able to build confidence on surviving the bad things so it made my goal about how to do it right do it better and have more fun doing it I've gotten to see a lot I've been able to meet and work with a lot of my heroes been able to meet a lot of new people who I now admire and really look up to a lot of my dreams have been fulfilled some of them I didn't know I even had and sometimes it's difficult to recognize that I earned what I had it's a hard idea to get comfortable with but early on I had this realization that suddenly I had this platform an audience and that people are listening I didn't know if that's what I wanted but I knew that I wanted to take that opportunity responsibly later I found out this industry could be so fickle so my goal was to stay inspired and I want to really feel comfortable with the time that I've carved out for myself and the same goes for anyone on my team that struggles with it I really want to rid myself of that typical masochistic line cook guilt gracefully because martyrdom isn't cool and you can't create it you can't create if you're filled with self pity so maybe I can work towards filling these voids and pick up a little where I left off do some small things like try to get my driver's license in New York or figure out a workout routine or catch up with my family or maybe even think about creating a plan for having my own family but I do feel lucky that I wanted to be a chef as a kid and I never felt rudderless without a career path at 10 I had this really funny and distinct visual of myself in the future this image was so visceral to me I had this visual of myself as an older self I had glasses in this visual so that meant that I was older I was a chef and I seemed happy and successful and I was zooming around a city with somewhere important to go it was as if my mind cracked open and exposed itself to me in that visual I was obsessed with it and I obviously still am but what was going on with me what was that visual about what was the success of the evolution of mission Chinese wasn't it even though at times it really felt like it was I still don't know what it is I'm still figuring it out is that success having a legacy or being a mentor or building an empire it might not be any of these things at all but now that I'm at that older self I still don't know what that success really means yet I know minimally I want to live sustainably creatively and not just survive thank you