 تبطّه آدك الأيام فتّى وتنحى كما قلت أسوأ كل الحوادث مبداها من النظري ومعظم النار من مستسغر الشرري كم نظرة فتكت في قلب صاحبها فتك السيام بلا قوس ولا وتري every event مبداها its beginning is from what من النظري looking ومعظم النار and the majority of the fire is what من مستسغر الشرري it is the belittled evil a lot of the things that people enter the hellfire is because something they belittled كم نظرة how many looks فتكت في قلب صاحبها it ripped it attacked the heart of a person فتك السيام بلا قوس ولا وتري like the attack an arrow which is without a bow but we have to really understand the looking is of types and they are not all of one level the first type is that which is haram a looking which is haram and that is the first type and that is what the author means here the author when he was saying تحتدي he is talking about what is haram which is looking at a woman or a person who is a foreigner from you and you don't need to look at her and there is no need for you to look at her the second one is it is actually recommended that you do this looking and this is يريد أن يتزوجها وغالب على ظنه إجابته أيمان looks at a woman in which she wants to get married to and he has a high assumption that she is going to accept him he said that the prophet جابر said that the messenger إذا خطب أحدكم المرأة if one of you wants to get married to a woman فإن استطاع ينظر إلى ما يدعوه إلى نكاحها فليفعل if he is able to look at that which will call him to marry her then he should do it وطبت مراءة he said I wanted to get married to a woman and so this is what I did فكنت أتخبأ لها I was hiding from her in a place where she could not see me حتى رأيت منها until I saw from her ما دعاني إلى نكاحها I saw from her that which called me to marry her فتزوجت to her and so I married her I would have narrated this hadith ومحمد also narrated in his Sunan now the scholars they differed on this issue now here which is that the hadith says looking at the woman that which will call you to marry her what does that mean and what is the limit because when you look at the statement of Jabir رضي الله تعالى عنه he also said I looked at her to that which will allow me to say to myself yes I would do want to marry her and so what is it that a person can say I will look at her that which will call allow me to marry her this is where the scholars differed on some scholars they said إلى وجهها وكفيها فقط it is that the person looks at her her face and her palms and that is a رواية ومحمد and another رواية also he said له النظر it is permissible for him to look at إلى ما يظهر منها غالبا إلى ما يظهر منها غالبا he is allowed to look at that which becomes apparent from her the majority of the times what does that mean it means her face كل وجهها face ورقبها هنك هنك will show وليدينيها 2 hands والقدمينيها 2 feet and this is something that when a woman is at home these are the things that will be seen from her and it is also permissible for him to look at her more than once ويجوز له أن يكرر النظر إليها he is allowed to look at her more than once and he is allowed to observe her beauty and analyze her with her permission and also without her permission but he is not allowed to be alone with her as the Prophet ﷺ told us that a man who is alone with a woman الشيطان is the third so the place that he is doing it from is a place where he is not with her but he is seeing her from somewhere outside so here it tells you that you don't have to take permission from her القسم الثالث the third type of looking which is before I move into the third one the reason is not to take permission from her is better is because the man will see the woman in her real state and the way that she really is now if this is the at the time of the Sahabas where there was no surgery like the way it is right now the cosmetic medical treatments that women go through and the kind of changes they put themselves through or the things that they do to their faces with the makeup that can be very deceitful when the man sees her in that state where she is not aware of it it gives him a good understanding of what woman he is going to marry because after the day of the marriage in the morning when he wakes up this is the person who is going to wake up and see so the Sharia doesn't want him and her to bounce from each other and for him to say to her I don't want to be married to you anymore because when I first saw you this is how you looked so they both can stay together but what also needs to be remembered is that the man who looks at the woman when when there is a high assumption that this matter is going to go through and that is going to but not that a man says he is looking at every woman and then he says oh I want to get married this is not what the Hadith is referring to or speaking about now the third type of looking أنظر المباح أنظر المباح the permissible looking مباح means here you don't get a reward for it nor do you get a sin for it what did we say يستوي فيه الطرفان the two sides are equal the reward and the sinning are both equal meaning none of them take place and this is the look which is when a man suddenly looks at a woman unintentionally he did not intend to look at her and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as Imam Abu Dawid narrated in his Sunan Imam Muhammad narrated in his Muslim narrated it in his Jamiah also that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم عنه صلى الله عليه وسلم لا تتبع النظرة أنظر لا تتبع مع النظر فإن لك الأولى يعني أنك لم تقلل لها وليس لك الأخر أمال الأخير ليس لك يعني أنك تنظر again أيضا ما هو النظرة أنظر المباح أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن يجب أن و نحن مثل الشخص أيضا أتوقع أن تعمل لديك شيء أكبر بشكل أسلحي أنت أحب أن تشاهد them بشكل أسلحي إذا كان صديقي أمن أنت أحب أن تشاهدها لكن أنت لا تستطيع أن تكتب الشخص أيضا المسيح ها؟ هو من شخصك شخصك مملكة إذا كانتهم أنت فقط يمكنك أن ترى منهم منهم توجد ما يظهر على بيام ر suivاً. ومن من يوجد ما يقاله هو أعلم م she-face, her necks, her two hands, her foot, her hair you can see. ه bring up, you can even see it. و ه الشن كتب ، لكن هذه هاتف تطلقres الآخر runs which are the three types of lookings. اغلى بجانب ميكمة حرامة و اغلى بجانب تطلقر مستحب و ركب ميكة مباحية. لذا الليل السلام يتعلم منه كيف يرسل تلوكش موچس حرام ويحرم بهت واغتياب النميمة وإفشاء سر ثم لعن مقيد وفحش ومكر والبذا وخديعة وسخرية والهزء جاء مشددي الشيخ قال ويحرمو it is حرام بهت بهت is حرام بهت as جوهري said in الصحاح the word is بهت تهو بهت وبهتانا فهو بهت it's when you say about a person قال عليه ما لم يفعله it's when you say about somebody that which they have not did to say about somebody that which they have not did this is called what بهتان البهتان it is that which you say about a person in which they have not said and it's lying it is lying and it's not permissible it's forging a statement against a person and lying about them in the messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم he told us that lying and the serious consequences which it has the prophet said عليهكم ستق be truthful فإن الستق يهدي إلى البر because truthfulness leads to righteousness والبر and righteousness يهدي إلى الجنة it will lead you to paradise وما يزالوا الرجل يصدقوا ويتحر الصدقى حتى يكتب عند الله صديقة and a person does not continuously stick to being truthful and holding on to truthfulness until he is written in the eyes of Allah and he is written as a truthful one وياكم والكذب and stay away from lying فإن الكذب يهدي إلى الفجور lying will lead you to transgressions and it will lead you to becoming a disobedient individual and فجور it will lead you to it will lead you to the fire and a person is not continuous in lying and he keeps doing this evil act of lying until he is written as a liar أبو زرعة الرازي ستو إمام وحمد one day ستو إمام وحمد إبن حمل كيف تخلصت من سيف المعتصمي وصوط الواثق أبو زرعة الرازي ستو إمام وحمد كيف تخلصت من سيف المعتصمي لأن إمام وحمد كانت في مقلق كما نقول بخير بسبب المتحدث عن القرآن ومخلوق إمام وحمد مخلوق وخلق أن القرآن ليست مخلق وخلق بها وخلق بها ومتحدث عن القرآن وإن أحد من المشركين استجارك فأجر حتى يسمعه كلام الله ثم أبلغه مأمله سيمام وحمد كانت بيتم وكانت أبو زرعة عاستي من ستو إمام كيف تخلصت من سيف المعتصمي يعني أنه لم تخلصتك وصوط الواثق ومتحدث عن القرآن ومتحدث عن القرآن ومتحدث عن القرآن ومتحدث عن القرآن إمام وحمد ستو إمام سرعة عاستي ومحمد الس off كانت ت matter ويعطب such وقتياب الجوهري للصحح أعتبه��� إغتابا when I'll expect the name of your mouth atra產 بما يغمه لو سمعه فإن كان ستقن سمي غيبة وإن كان كذبا سمي بوهتان is to speak about somebody behind their back to say about them that which is that which will anger them if you were to say to them it will distress them even if it's truthful it's called back biting and if you lie about it then that is بوهتان أبوه ريرا said that the Prophet ﷺ said أتدرونه من غيبه do you know what back biting is صحابه بزدي he said only Allah is messing with him no the Prophet ﷺ said ذكروك أخاك بما يكره it is to say about your brother that which he dislikes صحابه بزدي he said what about if it's in my brother that which I'm saying about him what about if he is what I'm saying about him the Prophet ﷺ said even if it's in him that which you're saying about him فقد اختبته you have back biting him and if what you're saying about him isn't present in him then what you have done is بوهتان you have forged against him that which he has not said or done and الله تبارك وطعاله prohibited from us ها الله تبارك وطعاله prohibited from us to back bite one another he said do not back bite one another and الله تبارك وطعاله وصول السيد ولا تقف ما ليس لك به علم إن السمعة والبصر والفؤادة كل أولئك كان عنه مسؤولة that we don't speak about that which we don't have knowledge of because our hearing our seeing and our hearts all of them الله تبارك وطعاله is responsible of them and that we are going to be accounted for it the day of judgment the messenger ﷺ has said إن حديثه أبي برزة الأسلمي إما محمد نريتر إنا بداود إما محمد أنا بداود نريتر إذا دا فرفس ريام عشرة من آمن بلسانه ولم يدخل الإيمان وفي قلبه لا تختاب الناس ولا تتبعوا عوراتهم فإنه من يتبع عوراتهم تتبع الله عورته ومن تتبع الله عورته يفضح في بيته the prophet said those of you who believe he man has entered their hearts don't back bite your Muslim brothers don't back bite the people do not follow their shortcomings for verily anyone who follows the shortcomings of the people الله تمرك و تعالى will follow up your shortcomings and anyone who Allah follows up his shortcomings Allah will embarrass you even in your household things that you do behind closed doors privately it will be out in the open you will be exposed six times back biting is permissible there are six places where back biting is permissible الإمام النووي إنه كتاب الرياضي الصالحين إمام النووي إنه كتاب رياضي الصالحين he chapted in his كتاب رياضي الصالحين he chapted in it بابو ما يباحوا من الغيبة he said the chapter the back biting which is permissible أبحمد الغزالي and also أب الفتح البعلي they also mentioned these six times when it's permissible تباك بايت so it's something that the scholar has mentioned the first one is a person who is oppressed المتظلم يذكروا ظلم الغاليم عند السلطان ليدفع ظلمه a person who has been oppressed he mentions the oppression that he was put through in the presence of the the judge so the oppression can be repelled and it can be pushed away from him so he's going to have to speak about his brother in a very bad light the second one is the one who backbites so he can change an evil he's backbiting because he wants to change an evil number three is the one who calls a scholar a Mufti and he wants to ask him a question about a matter like when Hindak came to the Prophet ﷺ and she said إن أبا سوفيان رجل شحيح my husband is a stingy individual he doesn't give this is all permissible for her because she needs to know an Islamic ruling on this particular matter number four warning the Muslims from an evil of a person so you're scared a person may fall into the trap of this individual you're allowed to warn him or her from this individual and at this particular moment it is permissible for you to speak ill against this individual in order to warn a Muslim from it number five the person is well known for this name the name huh he has a name which is kind of backbiting are you with me such as the name أعمش you see a person may have a name but the name may not be a good thing but this is his name and he's known for this so we're allowed to call it by that name the sixth one is this person is out and about when it comes to their own shortcomings and their sins he talks about his own shortcomings out in the open at this particular moment because he has brought it out in the open he's allowed to be spoken about it or said about it it is permissible to say about it regarding him then the sheikh said also نميمة نميمة is also prohibited نميمة means it means tail bearing نميم is tail bearing it basically means you're going around and telling people huh so and so say this about you so and so say this about you so and so say this about you is also the word قتات is also the same and قساف it's the same as the meaning of نمام and نمام is the one who does the tail bearing the Prophet ﷺ told us in the حليث Imam Al-Bukhari and the Muslim both narrated it that the Prophet ﷺ said لا يدخل الجنة قتات the one who does نميمة he will not enter Jannah he will not enter Jannah it's a very severe issue وإفشاء وصرن also what is prohibited is to spread a secret that a person entrusted with you وإفشاء وصرن to spread a secret the word افشاء means it comes from the word فشاء الخبر يفشو فشو ود اذاعة is when you announce it out in the open الله تبارك وتعالى he set us in the Qur'an ووفوا بالعاهدي إن العاهد كان مسؤولة fulfill the vows and the oaths that you make because you're going to be responsible for the oaths that you make the Prophet ﷺ said إن من أشر الناس منزلة عند الله يوم القيامة the one who has the severe punishment in station the day of judgment is the man يُفضي إلى امرأة he will have sexual intimacy with his wife you see وتفضي إليه ثم ينشرها ثم ينشر سرها and then he goes out and about and he tells that which he has done with her or the vice versa the woman does that she has a relationship with her husband and she goes out to the public and she tells the people how her relationship between her and her husband is but the hadith mentions she spreads the secret the secret because this is meant to be a matter that no one should know about it's a secret and it stays as a secret أبو بكر رضي الله تعالى عنه عمر came up to him one day and he presented his daughter حفصة to عمر رضي الله تعالى أبو بكر عمر presented his daughter حفصة to أبو بكر أبو بكر did not give him a reply meaning did not accept or did not give him a response after a period of time the Prophet married حفصة أبو بكر صوت عمر and he set him لعلك وجد تعالى عمر رضي الله تعالى عمر رضي الله عمر رضي الله تعالى ك وجد تعالى حين عرثت تعالى حفصة فلم أرجع إليك شيئا you probably had something towards me when you presented your daughter حفصة to me and I never gave you a reply you got upset somehow with me العمر صليس I did and then أبو بكر set to him فإنه لم يمنعني nothing prevented me and أرجع إليك nothing prevented me from coming back to you and that which you said to me but فيما عرثت علي except إلا أنني كنت علمت أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ذكرها فلم أقول لأفشية سر رسول الله I knew the Prophet عسلم was mentioning her that he wanted to get married to her and I was not one who wanted to spread the Prophet's secret so spreading a secret that a person entrusted with you is a very bad evil act أناس رضي الله تعالى عنه he said that the Prophet came to me one time أتاء إليه رسول الله وأنه ألعب مع الغلمان the Prophet said I was playing with young boys and the Prophet came to Anais فسلم علينا he gave us Salam فبعتني في حاجة and the Prophet pulled Anais to the side he told him to do something for him فأبطأتوا علي فأبطأتوا علي أمي فلما جئتوا قالت ما حبسك أناس دين said I came late to my mother and so my mother asked me what is it that imprisoned you why were you late for he said بعثني رسول الله في حاجة the Prophet said me to a duty he wanted me to do something for him his mother said to him what was it that he wanted from me I said to my mother إنها سرر it was a secret قالت she said to me لا تخبر بسرر رسول الله أحدة do not tell the secret of the Prophet to anyone أناس منو ماليك he said to his slave boy ثابت البناني he said to him والله لو حدثت بي أحد اللي حدثتك لو حدثت لو حدثت بي أحد لحدثتك به يا ثابت if I was to tell any individual I would have informed you أو ثابت ابن عبد البر he narrated in his book بهجة المجالس that the Prophet said من سرر إلى أخيه سرر anyone who tells his brother a secret or his sister a secret لم يحل له أن يفشيه أن يفشيه علي it is not permissible for him to go out and spread the news or the secret that was given to you the Prophet said anyone who tells his Muslim brother or sister a secret it is not permissible for the one who has told the secret to go out and to tell the secret العباسم عبد المطالب who is the Prophet العباسم عبد المطالب who is the Prophet عبد المطالب he said to his son عبد الله من العباس he said to his own son عبد الله يا بناية my son إني أرى I see أمير المؤمنين يدنيك I see that عمر من خطاب he is bringing you closer meaning he really sees you as a good person he loves you and he brings you close in his gatherings عبد المطالب فحف عني ثلاثا memorize three things for me I mean take these three things for me and do it the first one is لا تفشينا لا تفشينا سرا لا تفشينا سرا do not spread a secret he told you ولا تغتابنا أحدا and do not backbite anyone ولا يطلعنا منك على كنيبة and do not also let him see from you a lie and do not let him see from you a lie we will stop there إن شاء الله