 Okay, so looking at Luke chapter 5 and this one verse onwards, it's a very family incident where the Lord Jesus sees Peter and his friends and they're all there, it's near the lake of Geneseret and he borrows Peter's boat, one of the boats and then he goes into the water and he shares, he's teaching the people. And after that he asks Peter to do something which he has already done the previous night and he's actually tired and very unsuccessfully he has tried fishing, the whole of that night, previous night and the word of God declares that he was unsuccessful, they caught nothing. It says verse 5, they toiled all night, that's Peter's own testimony but the Lord is saying in verse 4, you launch out into the deep and cast your net down for a catch. So basically asking him to do the same thing which Peter had done earlier and without success and with failure just looking at him, staring at him in the face, the Lord asked him to do that. So some learning for us here, if the Lord were to tell us to go back and do some things that we had done earlier without good results, how would we respond? That's the question that I'm asking myself, if I did not have a good response, I didn't have a good experience for whatever reason and the Lord is giving a direct command, an instruction led by the Spirit and the Lord is giving us that conviction saying, okay, go do that. So how would we respond to that? So the way Peter responds is this, nevertheless at your word, I will let down the net. So he's saying, in my experience I've done all this, in my ability I've done all this but and this has been the result, end result is it's not good. So nothing in me, nothing in my experience actually is telling me to go and do it again. In fact, everything in me is rebelling. The reason in me, the logic in me, the experience that I've recently had is just rebelling, is just saying, don't do it Simon, don't do it. And in such a place Simon says, Peter says, Lord, at your word, nevertheless at your word, and I believe the Lord, we might face similar situations where circumstances where the Lord is drawing us to do certain things, commanding, instructing, do certain things which we're not comfortable, in our human experience it's not been great, how would we respond to it? So maybe say, nevertheless at your word, Lord, I will do it. It could be in ministry, Lord, I've prayed like this, I've ministered like this, I've not had results but Lord, you're again asking me to do the same thing. I don't want to look like a fool but Lord, nevertheless at your word, I will go ahead and do it. Let's pray. Father, we thank you Lord, we thank you for what is recorded here in Luke's Gospel. Lord, we thank you for your instruction, Lord, for your leading in Peter's life and so God, so also in our lives Lord, Lord, when you ask us, when you instruct us by your spirit, by your word, to do certain things Lord, Lord, maybe also respond in the same way, God, nevertheless at your word, no matter what is going against that decision, that choice, Lord, nevertheless at your word. Yes Lord, I pray that such will be our obedience, Lord, such will be our sensitivity to your leading, such will be our discernment that it is indeed your voice and such will be, may our faith also be as such Lord. I may we say nevertheless at your word, we thank you Lord, that you are with us and you are continuing to lead us into all that you have for us Lord. We thank you in Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Hey, so life skills, how's it been so far? Good, bad, ugly. So we're looking at life skills and we, you know, we, last couple of classes, we looked at personal development and also, you know, having a plan and making that plan into goals and these need to be reviewed, of course, to see how far we have, how far we have come close to achieving, I'm sorry, close to achieving those goals, right. So today, let's look at chapter five, which is interpersonal, which is, you know, page 16, if you download the notes. Okay, so Jeffina is so useful, Subashish, good. Okay, so chapter five, interpersonal communication skills. Okay, so let's take a look at that and, and, yeah, and, and see, this is something again, you know, which is something fundamental, which is something basic, and all of us have maybe understanding of it. But, yeah, let's just see, you know, how we can actually sharpen this, this tool, right, communication, right, interpersonal communication, well, the topic itself, you know, referring to a communication process or communication, you know, communication that happens between people or two people, right, or maybe it between people, it could be one to many or one to one, so it's interpersonal. Okay, so we know that communication is impartation of information and also receiving. So it means it's normally when we say communication, we are, we refer to the clarity with which somebody is speaking, maybe how articulate they are and how clearly they are presenting something, but it goes beyond that. It is also about how well it is received, how well the person who is communicating, who's actually sending out or presenting that information is also perceiving, you know, whatever is, whatever communication is getting back from the audience or from the other person. Okay, so it is two ways, communication is always two ways, so it involves the sending, it involves the receiving of the content, right, so in other words, it means if it's verbal, it is speaking and also listening. Okay, so the one who's just going on speaking, speaking, speaking and not really making an effort to see and to understand whether it's being received, you know, is actually a poor communicator, you know, somebody who's just downloading stuff, you know, let me just load this on you, you know, put it on you and I don't care whether you're receiving, whether you're interested, not interested, etc., it's not really good communication. So it's speaking and also listening. Okay, and yeah, so if we are, you know, in the receiving part of this communication process, it means that I am actually, am I being a good listener, right, am I clarifying, am I understanding it the way it is actually being, am I perceiving it the way it's supposed to be, right, all that is the responsibility of the one who is the recipient of the communication. So it's very, very, very active, right, when we say communication is active, especially when we say interpersonal communication. Of course, there's communication through mass media and all that where the focus is on clarity of the message sent, but not so much in, you know, whether we are actually, you know, making an effort to see, you know, whether it's received, you know, that would come as a research later, right. Okay, so effective communication. Okay, let me just share the screen. Okay, effective communication. You know, what do you think? Is it important, necessary? You know, why does it even feature under life skill? Let's say a person is, you know, working with machines or machines, you know, you're, you're working with machines, you're working with computers, you're a, you're a through and through a tech person. Would you, would you rate communication as one of the skills that you would need, require? What do you think? Sorry, what? Somehow we have to open our mouth, open our mouths or record information, right, send emails, something has to be done, right. So we, you know, even if it's a, you know, purely a tech kind of a work that we do, you know, there will, there is this recording of information, there is this sharing of information, maybe digitally, so which means that, you know, information is shared, information is recorded, and in the form, and it has to make sense. It has to make sense to the person who's reading it. So, you know, communication is an important skill. And the, well, when you look at it, you know, generally, you know, in a, you know, in a, in a work kind of a professional kind of a setting, the, well, the higher the person goes or the great, the greater the responsibility, meaning maybe the person is accountable to a, you know, to a task, a project which involves people, right. So a greater responsibility would involve people working for the particular project, working for that particular, you know, ministry or effort, ministry effort, whatever. So when, when there are more and more people involved, one realizes the criticality of this particular skill, okay, where there is a constant need to communicate effectively. There's a constant need, whether it could be verbal, it could be written, it could be in any other form, right. But there's, there, we cannot rule out that, you know, communication is not required. It is required even more so as and when our responsibility increases, you know. And if you look at the Word of God, and if you look at the Word of God, is this, it is all truth communicated, right. It is truth recorded, truth communicated. So in fact, if you look at, I think if you look at Book of Acts, right, we know it's Luke. And then look at Book of Acts chapter one, verse one, it says, the former account I made Otheophilus of all that Jesus began both to do and teach until the day he was taken up after he had, he threw the Holy Spirit at given commandments to apostles whom he had chosen and etc. And he says, you know, in, so yeah, the former account referring to the gospel, and he's saying of all that Jesus began both to do and to teach. Okay, so when it refers to an account, he's just referring to a record, which he made the effort in order to capture all that, and it, and he did so. And here we are as a recipient of all that, that is the capture of Jesus, what Jesus began to both to do and to teach, right. So Luke chapter one also, you know, Luke chapter one says the same thing, inasmuch as many have taken in hand to set an order, a narrative of those things, which have been fulfilled among us. And verse three, he says, it seemed good to me also having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first to write to you an orderly account, most excellent theophilus. So here he's talking about written communication, of course, so he's saying, okay, an orderly account. Okay, so, so this is something which is important. It's, it's good for us to have, it's a good skill for us to have, it's good for us to invest time in developing good communication skills. Okay, so, so it's needed. It is needed in any profession, it's needed in ministry, and more so in generally in life itself. Okay, personally, you know, if between friends, in a family setting, right, between husband and wife communication, and the fallout of bad communication is something that we can see, you know, the effects of bad communication, right, the effects of bad communication wars have started because of breakdown of communication, because communication actually points to relationship. Okay, good communication strengthens the relationship. Good communication makes sure that there is no miscommunication, right, because of which there is strength in the relationship, you know, there is there is no misunderstanding, and there is effort to clear all misunderstanding. Okay, so it actually is an investment in the relationship. Okay, so having said that, now, how do we develop our communication skills? Okay, how do we develop our communication skills, especially when it comes to our interpersonal communication skills, where we are talking to people, maybe we are meeting them directly, maybe we are, you know, doing something online. So how do we do that? Okay, so we can break it down to verbal communication, which means what we do with words, our speech, nonverbal communication, and thirdly, very important, but sometimes neglected aspect of communication, which is listening. Okay, so verbal communication. Okay, and so it's about what we say, what we even write down, what is spoken, what is written. We are of course, emphasizing on spoken communication. Okay, the way in which it is done. Okay, the way in which we communicate. Now, when we communicate, we are also considering our audience. Okay, we are considering who we are communicating to. Having an understanding of who we are communicating to changes the way in which we communicate. Okay, so it could be a very professional communication, maybe an office setting, maybe with a colleague. It could be a very personal communication, right, with the family member, maybe with your spouse. So we need to be mindful of that aspect. Okay, who am I communicating to. Okay, so if we are mindful of the audience, then we will also be mindful of the nature in which we communicate. Okay, can it be formal? Can it be informal? Can I take certain liberties, you know, when it's informal, we take certain liberties, you know, we address people differently. Right, so can I take those liberties with this audience? Right, so all this is very important. Okay, so especially, you know, the example, if it's a child, then we need to, obviously we need to change our style of communication. It needs to be simple words. It needs to be effective, you know, communication in the effective with our time, because the child will not give much attention if what we are saying is pretty long drawn or, you know, the child isn't going to be very impatient. Right, so then it's going to give, we're going to have a short attention span. So all that is going to matter. Okay, so we need to, you know, give that thought. Okay, who am I addressing in my communication? Okay, so let's look at non-verbal communication. Okay, so when we say verbal communication, we understand, okay, the words that we choose. Now, for example, I just wanted to, you know, we'll just spend some time on verbal communication, you know, when it comes to saying, when it comes to writing things down, do we spend time just thinking, okay, or reflecting, how else could I have said it? Right, how else could I have written this and so that it's much more effective. Okay, so having that, having that kind of, what I would say, a test or having that process in place would really help us, you know, where we, some of us are, you know, we just put it down and then we send it out, right, maybe, and then once it's, when we type send or when we just enter, they're like, oh, no, I wish, you know, I wish I hadn't put that, I wish that, you know, I needed to change that. So this whole thing of, you know, checking, you know, is there, does it convey all that I needed to convey? Okay, so does this choice of words, does it work? No, especially when it comes to, you know, maybe emails or maybe, excuse me, maybe the text that we're sending, you know, does it really, oh, excuse me, does it really convey what I needed to convey? Okay, so maybe we'll just, we can just do a small exercise. Okay, let's say you are talking to, maybe, maybe you're just sending out an invitation. Okay, consider two sets of audience, one is a formal audience, maybe, you know, maybe it's people who, you know, your superiors, your whoever, and you're calling them over for dinner. Okay, at your house, you're calling your, maybe, your office staff, your colleagues, you're calling them over for, and your boss, you know, leadership, everyone, you're calling them over for dinner. So why don't you just type out, maybe a two line or three line invitation. Okay, so dinner, you're just calling them, inviting them over for, for a meet, right? So now the setting is that it's a formal thing, right? It's people whom you, you can't say they are pals, they are friends, you meet them at office, and you have a working relationship with them. Okay, so that's the first scenario. So can you just go ahead and put it, put it down? Just since all of us are on, on connected, you can just type, type it, text it. Yeah, your colleague, your boss, boss, your team leader, you know, it's like that, right? So you're just inviting them over for dinner for a meal at home. So it's, it's a formal, informal, you know, informal, in the sense it's a informal setting at home. But it's, yeah, the people whom you are formally connected with, right? Okay. So can you do that? Let's take five minutes, right? And then maybe we can have another scenario, right? Okay, if you're done, you can, you can present it. I mean, you can just post it, sorry. So it needn't be long drawn, right? So it can be two, three sentences. And yeah. So whoever's done can put it on the chat so we can take a look at it. Okay, just press enter. Come on. Let's, okay. So we have from John Paul, okay, dear team, we have organized our daughter's birthday celebration at our home this Saturday at 6pm. Followed by Dana, we, dinner, we would love to have each of you join us for this looking forward to seeing you. Wonderful. So this time there's address and residential address and where they should come, what time they should come. And so this puts it as dear team. Okay, nice. So would you also, yeah, so I think I guess you can address your boss also. His boss also is included in that, right? When you say, dear team. Okay. Okay, who else? Jeffina? Done? Press, press enter. Okay, anyone else? Rosalind, Zellie Tohli, Georgia? Anyone else? Also? Okay. Okay, Subhash, I'm very glad to tell you that my son Steve is celebrating his birthday on 24th September. So you'll be happy as a family to have you and your family and blessed child and have a dinner at our residence. Yeah. Thank you. I shall be there. 24th. Okay. Okay. So it's even more formal, right? So which means that, yeah. So which actually reflects the kind of relationship that you might have with the person that you're addressing, right? And also, it also talks about the, maybe the communication style also, right? That you normally would have when you're writing to elders. It also talks about the culture, everything and all that is reflected in what you're writing. Yeah. Okay. Anyone else? Okay. So Jeffina, good evening, sir, as I arranged a small dinner at home. It's been an honor to have you as part of the occasion. Thank you. Okay. Nice. Okay, so the thing is, yeah, so we, you know, if you look at it, I'm just looking at the first one. So dear team, right? And what is the event? Organize birthday celebration, home, time, everything. And, and, you know, so you see that. And the second one from Subashish, you see the way he's addressing. It's, it's for me, addressed to me and then, but then it's like, you know, he's saying respected, etc., you know, and, yeah. And then, so Jeffina's one, you know, it's like, okay, it's been an honor to have you as part of the occasion. And, yeah. Okay. So, so we see that it's, it's really formal. Okay. Now let's say, you know, if you're going to invite a group of friends. Okay. Now these are people whom you, whom you meet every, every other day. These are group of friends. So how would you send the same text or the same email or content, right? So I just asked the three of you to do it again. It's for your friend or your relatives. Maybe let's just keep it to friends, right? Friends whom you know, whom you've grown up with. So they're very close. So how would you, you know, the same thing, the same occasion, the same, you know, dinner, same date, whatever. So how do you change that? Okay. Anyone? Not yet. Okay. Okay. Others also, you know, if you want to change some of their content and you can use that and you can maybe make it a little more informal and personal because if it's for your friend, you could do that. Okay. Hey people, I plan to have a small dinner at my place tonight. Hope to see you all spend a good time together. Okay. Right. So you see the whole thing changed, right? The, the formality of the tone of the letter is different. Everything has changed. Okay. The same would also apply if we are, okay, guys, this Saturday we have planned Shakena's birthday. So you see, you know, the daughter's name is here. He's a little more, he's closer. And then see, okay, see you. Okay. So he's just taken, there's no, you know, we would love to have each one of you join, nothing like that. Say, guys, just be there. Okay. So I can literally, you know, imagine John Paul saying that just dinner at our place. Okay. Right. Okay. Zalitoli, we cordially invite you to come celebrate our wedding anniversary with us on. So it's a formal thing. Okay. We are glad and blessed. Oh, it's, it's, so Zalitoli, is it for friends and family? Is it for friends and family? Okay. It is for friends and family. Okay. Subash says, okay. As you know, Steve is celebrating his birthday. So please don't forget to come as a family. Okay. So we see that, you know, the whole tone, everything changes, the content changes, the way in which you present content also changes. Right. And Zalitoli, it's, it's actually, it's a kind of a mix of both. It's a wedding anniversary, it's a special moment. And at the same time, you know, this is for friends. And it kind of has a weight because of the occasion, you know, it's a wedding anniversary. It's not like, you know, it's, it's, it's something solemn as well. And so, you know, so she's using words, words like, and also respecting the friends, you know, we're glad and blessed to have bonded graces with your presence on our special day. So it's talking about the, you know, the nature of the occasion. So she's choosing these words. Right. So, yeah. So we, we see that we choose words when it comes to communication, we choose words differently when it comes to the audience whom we are communicating to. Okay. So it would help, you know, and this would actually be, as the more and more we communicate, the more and more we consider whom we are communicating to, it will become second nature to us. Right. So we don't have to think too much to say, okay, how do I say this? How do I put it across to this person? Right. We will, we will, it'll become the, I mean, we will take time, but it will not be like, we won't be meditating on it for a long time. I know we don't be sitting on it, but we will think through and say it. And also the same would happen when it comes to, let me just share the notes again. Okay. Sorry. So the same would happen when it comes to the nature of the content. Okay. The nature of what we are actually sharing. No, this is a fun event. This is a special event. And so, you know, it's like this, you know, what if it's a difficult thing? Right. What if it's a difficult matter that you're conveying? Okay, maybe you're conveying to someone that some bad news. Right. What if you're conveying to someone that, well, they cannot be part of your organization anymore, according to the discussion that you had earlier, you know, things like that, some difficult things. What if it's a disciplinary action that you're conveying? So it's best to think through. These are things that it's best to think through. And also, it's best to think about what will be the best mode of communication. Okay. So communication can go through different medium, right, different modes. You can text it, you can email it, you can, well, you know, you can do all that. Right. You can do it online. You can do all that. So it's important for us to consider, okay, what is the best way to do this now? Can I do this over a text? Can I do this over an email? Or does it require that I actually meet with the person, sit with the person, and have a conversation and communicate this. Right. So understand that. So many times we think, okay, maybe I'll just send an email and it'll be done. No, it cannot be done. Right. Because your email, as much as we can, you know, use a lot of emojis and, you know, everything, the email is something or a text is something where we read the emotions in. The recipient actually, excuse me, the recipient of the communication, I know, let's say it's a written communication, you read the emotions in, you put the emotions in based on your experience and etc. You put the emotion in. Right. So let me say a line like, let the children come to me. Okay. Jesus says, let the children come to me for theirs, for, is the kingdom of God, kingdom of heaven. Let the children come to me. Okay. So you can actually put a lot of emotion there. You can just say, okay, he was rebuking these disciples and let the children come to me. Let them come to me. Or it could be a very kind, inviting, compassionate voice and let the children come to me. Right. Or it could be a rebuk, whatever, you know, we put in those emotions there. Right. And so also when it comes to be a text, we put in emotions. So if it's a difficult matter, we, even though it could be written very compassionately, right, the recipient would, he or she tends to put the emotion in. So you decide, okay, does this communication, does it require a face-to-face meeting? So that's part of sharpening our skills, where we understand that the nature of the content, what I need to share is such that I cannot take a chance with the email, where it can be misunderstood, where they cannot really understand where I'm coming from, right, the heart of what I'm sharing, where I'm coming from. So, you know, if you have an option, what can we meet? Can we have an online or can we have a Zoom call or a, you know, video call? These are options. If these options are not there, then of course, understandable. This is how it is. So you can say, you know, I will explain later in person when we meet, right, or maybe even wait till you meet in order to share this. So all this goes in, right. So we see that it's not so easy, right. I, there is a risk of being misunderstood. There is a risk of being not understood at all. So based on the importance of the content, you know, let me take time, let me choose how to use this, right. Okay, nonverbal communication. So when we say nonverbal communication, we are talking about expressions. We are talking about expressions, meaning facial expressions. We're talking about the level of volume or the loudness of it, the softness of the voice. If it's a verbal communication, we are also talking about, you know, what is the tone of it? What is the pitch of it? So tone meaning, is it a stern tone? Don't do that. It's a stern tone. Or don't do that. You know, that's a very compassionate tone. So all these are known, even though the words are there, so the nonverbal thing enhances or adds to the communication. Okay. And also, you know, the distance between the people who are communicating, right. And also, you know, several gestures, gestures like hand gestures or, you know, maybe is their and crossed, you know, like that, you know, is just closed. Is it open? Is it vulnerable? Okay. So all these add to the message that you're communicating, you know. And if the message is joy, you know, the joy of the Lord, and throughout that message, if you've not even just smiled once, and if you're going to have a very angry expression throughout, right, and if you're going to give a message on the joy of the Lord, then there's a disconnect, disconnect between the content and your facial expression. And maybe, you know, it's a very serious tone that you've taken. There's a complete disconnect, right? Okay. So we need to be mindful. What is the, what are the non-verbal communication? So when we look at non-verbal communication, here are some things that we can consider. Non-verbal communication helps people to reinforce what is said in words. Okay. So it's like highlighting. It's like underlining, right? It's like making something in bold. So it reinforces. So when you say something and when you say, I know, I want it done, right? So I want it done is without the gesture and I say, I want it done. You know, what is the difference? It means that you, you know, you're very serious about it and you want the task that thing to be completed, right? You want it done. So you're actually adding to that, right? You're enhancing the message. Okay. Okay. So verbal communication also informs people about our emotional state. Okay. So, so we can say, say things like, yeah, so we can say, you know, things like, very good. Let's say, you know, very good. So what is it? Is it a compliment? What do you think? And I say, okay, oh, very good. Is it a compliment or not? It seems like it, right? Seems like it, right? Oh, very good. Okay. But it also depends on, on why I'm saying that, okay, in the context, right? So suppose somebody does something, I'm looking at, you know, something they've done and then I say, very good. Okay. And it's, it's like a compliment. Let's say somebody drops a cup. Okay. And I'm saying the same thing. Oh, very good. So it's the same tone, the same words, right? But I'm using it in a different context and it's like a very sarcastic, you know, thing. I'm just making fun. You know, I'm just putting them down and say, oh, very good. Right? So, so we see that the context in which we use it and also the tone in which we say, so it, it, it actually conveys these non-verbal, we're talking about the tone, actually conveys our emotional state and what emotions are we feeling when we convey and suppose somebody does something and then they're saying, yeah, yeah, very good. So it means that you're actually upset, you're angry, you know, you're not really pleased with what is happening, right? So it's same words, but because of the tone and because of the context, what we are conveying differs, right? So non-verbal communication actually conveys, is a pointer to the emotional state of the person. So which is good, you know, as a, as a communicator, so you're reading that, you're reading those things, you're speaking to someone and this is what they're saying. So when you see that, you see that, when you read that, when you analyze that, you see that they are, they're saying things like very good, but actually they are not complimenting me, they are actually upset. So a good communicator has to really take that, you know, like some people, if they don't have that skill, they might miss this completely, right? Certain emotional conditions, you know, people who have struggling with it, are not able to read that. So socially, you know, they have the difficulty, you know, I'm not able to read that. I'm just going by the words and I thought it was a compliment, but it's not, right? Okay, what are the, what, what can I say, you know, non-verbal things, actually non-verbal communication actually defines or reinforces relationship between people, because people, you know, the rate of speech they use, the gestures, actually they try to mirror, you know, the same things when smiling, etc. These are non-verbal. So when people smile you, the natural responses smile back, if the smile is not there, then you know that, okay, something is wrong, somebody is angry today, right? All those. Okay, it provides feedback to the other person. Okay, so when, when you're speaking and then people are nodding when they are, you know, looking at you, you know, that they are listening, that they are, maybe they understand and based on the expression, you know, if they maybe frown, or if they're, you know, if they're not really with it, you see that you understand, you, when you come to the conclusion that maybe what I'm speaking doesn't make sense. It's not really going to, maybe they're not in agreement, right? So it provides feedback to the person who's speaking. Okay, and it also regulates the flow of communication, meaning, so for example, if let's say, you know, okay, that's it. That means it's done, we are done with the meeting, right? Or maybe some people can, fine, okay. So that means that, you know, we are done here. It's the end of the subject, end of the matter. Let's move on. Okay, so it regulates the flow of communication. So we can, we can use that. We can use that to convey. And when we read that, we can also understand, okay, the person is, is not in a mode for further thing. So we can, it might as well, you know, we can just say, okay, let's talk later when you have the time. Okay, so these are things that we can understand. Okay, let's look at, quickly look at, okay, maybe probably we'll do that next class. We just have one more minute. Okay, so these are types of non-verbal communication, body language, posture, etc. I think we'll, we'll look at it the next class, and then go on to listening. Okay, fine. Okay, thanks everyone. And thanks for the invitation, for the dinner. Okay, God bless. We'll meet again next class. Bye-bye.