 The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success Let that famous chant remind you that lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw LSMFT LSMFT right you are yes, sir lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw American LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes lucky strike means fine tobacco Here's what mr. Elvin Bradley Hicks independent tobacco auctioneer of Wilson, North Carolina said Season after season at the auctions. I've seen lucky strike by fine light tobacco Tobacco that gives a better taste in smoke. I've smoked luckies for 17 years. Yes, sir in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts and lucky strike means fine tobacco So for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike Any with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stevens and yours truly Ladies and gentlemen tonight Jack Benny is taking Mary to a concert at the Philharmonic Auditorium given by one of the world's greatest violinists Isaac Stern as we look in on Jack. He's at home dressing for the occasion Rochester I still think they're a little too short. They barely reached my ankles. Maybe I can let the cuffs out No, if you left the cuffs out, they'll be too long a lot of drag. Gosh. I wish they fit better What's the difference boss after you put your pants on who sees you on the way? Yeah, I guess so. You're certainly going to a lot of trouble getting dressed tonight Well, Rochester all the important people in town will be at the concert after all Isaac Stern is one of the world's greatest violinist Oh, come now boss. You'll play the violin as good as he does. No, I don't Rochester. No Oh, yes, you do. I do not. Well, I think so Rochester you've never even heard Isaac Stern. Well take advantage of it boss. Take advantage. Oh, I see You know Rochester, maybe if I had followed my musical career, it might be me giving that violin concert tonight me Yasha, Benny I can just picture the scene As I walk out on the stage the spotlight falls on me me Yasha, Benny Covenantly I lift my violin and tuck it under my chin. I raise my bow Five thousand pairs of eyes are staring at me. Hey, Yasha, you better put your pants on You know Rochester, it's a little unfair. I have to go through life being a clown of a fume while inside deep down inside I have a yearning for the finer things You could have some of those things boss. Have you just loosened up a little? I suppose so but then again, you do have to think of the future after all Rochester I haven't got much money. I don't know every time I turn your mattress over wall speed drops three points Rochester, let's drop the subject and just help me get ready for the concert. Hand me my dress shirt Here you are, boss. White tie or black? White tie my tails, too. I haven't worn this suit in a long time. How do my tails look? Pretty good, boss, but you shouldn't have had the tails starched Starched? Well, I figured it would hold them in place. I know, but when you bend over you look like a sparrow I never thought about that Come in Hello, Phil. Hi you Jackson. Well, what's all dressed up? My, my, my What new drive-in is opening tonight? Well, I'm not going to a drive-in. I'm going to the telemonic. Isaac Stern is playing Yeah, against who? Thanks. Nobody's a soloist. He plays the violin. You know, it wouldn't hurt you to go to a concert once in a while Never saw a guy take less of an interest in his profession. What do you mean no interest? You know darn well that I'm a musician Phil, just because you have a picture of patrillo tattooed on your chest doesn't mean you're a musician You and that bandy you're now wait a minute Jackson. You've been riding my boys long enough My orchestra is not as bad as you. Oh, unprovocatably inferred Unpro what? No, you don't I ain't gonna try that one again No, no, Phil go ahead. I like to see how it comes out the second time. I mean Go ahead. Okay. My orchestra is not as bad as you so unprovocatably inferred Say that's pretty good. So where'd you pick up that word? Phil Phil answer me. Wait till I get this knot out of my tongue The daughter would throw you. Well, it's getting late. I gotta leave now. Meet mary in front of the auditorium I'll get it Hello, hello jack. This is don wilson. Oh, hello down. What do you want? Well, I heard you were going to Isaac Stern's concert tonight and I was just wondering if you could get a couple of tickets for me Well, I don't think so down. It's been sold out for weeks. Oh gee. That's a shame. I'd love to go I'd even pay double the price Well, I'm afraid it's You would No, mary's probably dressed already. I'm sorry down. There's nothing I can do for you. Well, thanks just the same jack. Goodbye Oh, say down. I want to congratulate you for being chosen by the editors as radio's best announcer Well, thanks jack, but uh, I really can't take credit for that. What do you mean? Well, look at the wonderful material I have to work with. How can I mess with ls mft ls mft? But don your diction. Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed Look done the addiction the draw the diction with men who know tobacco bastards luckies two to one I've been smoking luckies for now to 25 years because they're made of the fire Don, goodbye Jackson, what did you hang up on them for you probably heard don's feelings? I guess you're right phil. I'll call him back and apologize The lighter the naturally mild The hurt is feeling First place. How are you going to get through all that fan? Well, I got to run along now. Goodbye phil And rochester you can have the rest of the night off Thanks, boss. When will you be back tonight? I only got 35 cents. You can't lose a weekend on that I guess not. Goodbye hollywood and vines. Here we are mary at the philharmonic How do I look certainly dress swanky for the concert white tie top hat and a bag of peanuts Well, I thought you might enjoy something after the show Let's go in but jack the main entrance is around the corner I know but I got to go back state and see isaac stern first. Come on. I wonder where his dressing room is Maybe it's This this must be it right here Come in Mr. Stern. Yes, I'm isaac stern And mr. Stern. This is miss livingston. How do you do? How do you do? And i'm jack benny jack benny Yes, uh, you see when I heard you were giving a concert los angeles I sent you money for two tickets knowing that you'd get me the best seats available Oh, yes. Yes, mr. Benny. I have the tickets right here. Here you are Thank you Wait a minute. These tickets are a dollar ten. I distinctly remember sending I did my best mr. Benny, but the house was sold out and they didn't have any more seats available at the price you requested Oh, so I added 30 cents of my own money Thank you very much, mr. Stern. I hope I didn't impose on you too much You see you being a concert violinist naturally. I felt that we have something in common Yes, sir, we have something in common. Yes jack violin has four strings too Mary, please Jack give mr. Stern the 30 cent yeoman. Let's go. Oh, yes. Yes. Just a minute There you are 10 20 25 26 27 28 29 There you are mr. Stern. Thank you. Okay jack put on your shoe and let's go And thanks for getting my tickets. You're welcome. Goodbye. Come on, Mary Tickets tickets, please hold your own tickets. There you are. Thank you. Stare way to your left, please. Come on, Mary Oh usher. Where are these seats? Uh stare way to your left, please. Come on, Mary Oh usher usher. Where are these seats? Let me see a row a seats three and five You see that last aisle over there. Oh, yes. Yes. Good. We'll take the stairway right next to it Give me another peanut. Oh usher. Yeah, are these seats in this balcony? Yes, right over here Gee, this is awfully high, isn't it? We used to think so, but now they can reach us by radar Don't be funny. Just show us to our seat. Just follow me Here you are your seats are right here. Thank you Say these seats are all right, Mary. I can relax and put my feet up on the railing And you better take your hat off. The spotlight will burn a hole through it Watch it. I'll watch it Say, Mary, we may be in the top balcony, but at least we're in the front row Can you see the stage? All right. No, but I got a wonderful view of catalina That's a painting on the wall. Here have a peanut Gee, there's sure a lot of people here tonight. Yeah, this place is certainly Hey, Mary, look look way down there Isn't that Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman? Where? Way down there below us to the left of that cloud. We're lucky to get such good seats No, we certainly were beneath them Who hoped Mr. Stern plays the Mendelssohn Concerto? Well, no, let's see. He's going to play a sonata by César franc Then uh, oh, yes, here it is the Mendelssohn Concerto And he follows with la Campanella by Taganini. Which one of those numbers do you like the best? Oh, it doesn't make any difference to me. I just came here to get away from chick-a-chick-chilla-chilla I know he won't play No, Jack, that isn't Mr. and Mrs. Coleman. I'm sure it is. Oh, Ronnie Ronnie Benita Yoo-hoo Jack Jack everybody's looking up at us with their binoculars. Let them go The jealous ones, we know the Coleman. Ronnie Ronnie, Yoo-hoo Isn't that Jack Benny up there trying to get our attention? Yes, it's embarrassing, but don't look up You should at least wave for him after all he is our next door neighbor Benita, that is a situation which the housing shortage prevents me from doing anything about So much trouble to attract your attention. He's dropping little bits of paper He's dropping peanut shells If he spits, there's going to be trouble What's he doing way up there anyway? Well, perhaps his doctor recommended the higher altitude Well, he's sitting is cheaper than the Alps It's higher too. Yeah, so it is Well, anyway, dear, he won't be throwing any more peanuts. Oh, how do you know? I just got hit on the head with the bag Remarkable, he must be using a Norden Bumsite Isn't that awful, Mary? I just can't seem to attract their attention. Oh, Ronnie Ronnie Benita, Yoo-hoo Jack, don't leave so far over the rail Ronnie, Yoo-hoo Isn't it awful? He just won't give it up. I beg your pardon, sir But I think there's somebody trying to get your attention. No, my attention Yes, that man up there hanging from the rail by his heels Oh, yes, yes You know, Benita, I thought that the horn blows at midnight would keep him home for a couple of years Well, then I guess some people don't know when Ronnie, what was that thing that just fell in your lap? Oh heaven's sake. What is it? A toupee You think it belongs? I'm afraid so. Look at the laundry mark. Well, that's MFT And look what it says right, look what it says right below it If lost We'll find a please read the lost and found columns in the Beverly Hills newspapers The article in question will be referred to as a cocker spaniel with a cold nose and a part on the side Look Ronnie, they're starting to dim the lights. Oh, I almost had their attention. Well, look, honey They're starting to dim the lights. Don't get fresh. Mr. I happen to be here with an escort. Mary. It's me. It slipped off Well put your hat on you look awful and be quiet the concert's about to begin Yeah, here comes Isaac Stern now. It don't bob. I was it Ronnie jack jack. Oh boy. What a surprise seeing you here. Yes. Yes, wasn't the concert wonderful It certainly was and I loved the Mendelssohn concerto Well, I did too. However, I felt that he had just a little too much pizzicato in the andante Didn't you know all of that way by the time it got up to me Thank you. Well, good night jack. My best to marry good night, Ronnie. Give my love to benita I will oh by the way jack. Did you lose a cocker spaniel? Well, don't worry here. Lassie has come home You know benita, I think that's one of the finest concerts I ever heard. Absolutely wonderful Give me a cigarette. Will you of course? I have some right here in my overcoat Oh, I had some when I I say this isn't my coat. There must have been a mix up at the cloak room. Are you sure? Yes. I'm positive. I had Certainly look at the label. Why this is jack bennie's coat jack bennie. Yes. Oh, well tomorrow. They will have to Well, Ronnie, what are you looking at? Oh, it's this address book. I found in bennie's coat pocket address book. Yes You know, he's always boasting about his influential friends. Well, listen to this first name Gladys Zibisco gladstone 0338 Gladys Zibisco Here's a note. He's written alongside her name. It says do not kiss too hard has pivot to And listen to this next name Marcella Fink And then he has in parenthesis approach from the right. She's left-handed That's interesting friends. Oh, what's that? Folded sheet of paper that just fell on the floor. Well Oh beneath the look it's one of his contest letters. Oh, you mean the I can't stand jack bennie contest? Yes, and there's a little notation on it that says This letter was written by carol p craig senior and won first prize first prize Oh, Ronnie, I wondered what the winning letter was right. Read it, please. All right. It says I can't stand jack bennie because He fills the air with boasts and brags and obsolete obnoxious gags The way he plays his violin is music's most obnoxious sin His cowardice alone indeed is matched by his obnoxious greed And all the things that he portrays Show up my own obnoxious ways Now, you know benita, that's very clever. Yeah, it has such a good thought behind it. Yes And all the things that he portrays Show up my own obnoxious way You know benita Maybe the fellow that wrote this letter is right. The things that we find fault with in others Are the same things that we tolerate in ourselves. That's so true, Ronnie. It certainly is It was accompanied by alexander zacken jack will be back in just a moment But first here is my good friend la speed riggs That says it lucky strike means fine debacle so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw of course lsm fd many things may change with the years But here's one thing you can depend on always Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes. Lucky strike means fine tobacco The finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco This fine lucky strike tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's programmer Mr. La speed riggs of goldsboro, North Carolina And mr. Effie boon of lexington, Kentucky And this is a battle rise deal speaking for lucky strike the cigarette of fine tobacco Certain facts are plain it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, first last and always lucky strike means fine tobacco Hey jack wasn't Isaac's turn wonderful. Absolutely terrific jack. I'll make you a sporting proposition. What is it? I'll break my leg if you'll break your violin I will Oh, I'll marry up say wait a minute. This isn't my coat. I've got on somebody else's coat. What? Look at the label. It's Ronald Coleman Funny. Well, I must have a mistake at this folk rule. I wonder what he's got in his pockets Oh for heaven's sake lory. Mary. Look isn't this cute. Well, what is it? A yo-yo The national broadcasting company