 One of my fans is on right now Hello, hello How you doing give me that radiant smile there you go That's it right there when you chuckle. Okay, so what's your question my dear? You you know you you ask the question. What what do you want to know what? Okay, all right. We're gonna do this in reverse order. Okay. Um, are you currently in a relationship? Just say yes or no Okay, when was the last time you were in a relationship? Uh about six months ago Okay, and when I say relationship, this is where the penis got to go inside the vagina kind of relationship. Okay So it ended six months ago. How long were you two together? About eight months eight months. How did you two meet? We met on plenty of fish Okay, plenty of fish. You mean the bottom of the barrel I'm just kidding I out real quick Yeah, okay. Um, you met on plenty of fish you dated for eight months. How far apart do you two live from each other? Lived about an hour and a half apart hour and a half apart. How often did you see each other? You said it was an eight month relationship, correct? No Yeah Eight months how uh, and it ended six months ago How often did you see each other? We saw each other about every three weeks, but it was me driving to him It was right when I first listening to you and uh Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, okay. I'm gonna keep going with my questions But I have to pause on this ladies Men are rather lazy Men are rather lazy and women will oftentimes Make the effort and they'll give you a legitimate excuse why he can't come to you And it's so legitimate. You're like, but I I want to be with this person. So you'll make the effort Let me just tell every woman watching that's fucking bullshit. Okay It is bullshit that he didn't make effort towards you. So that is not a red. That's a gigantic Red flag red flag signing flag signing. Okay. Okay, so um So you saw him every three and a half weeks. So during eight months. That's every that's uh Three times every two months So three times eight that you saw him physically roughly 24 times. Is that about right? Right, yeah Okay, who who ended the relationship After listening to you I ended the relationship. You did it. Yes. You got me on the right track Okay, now. Why did you end the relationship? because um I didn't see any future in it. I I really want to have a partner and Yeah, he wasn't he wasn't gonna do it Okay, so, um, how did you end the relationship? um Well, I wanted to do like a conscious uncoupling thing. Okay, but no, he wasn't did you do it over the phone or a text message I did it face to face. I I wouldn't I wouldn't uh Not a really. Do you remember exactly what you said to him to end the relationship? I said, um I really love you This is it for me and Do this anymore. It's uh Yeah It's It's not It's not working for me and I really apologize But I I'm curious And by the way, thank you for your vulnerability. I genuinely appreciate it And I mean that sincerely. Okay, um What wasn't working for you can let's all right, let's go through it Let's go through this because this is going to help everybody that's watching right now What wasn't working? Can you articulate that to me? um, sure it was um, I was Working 12 hour days and then taking time off to go to him And you know, we have great time And I'd stay and I had to find a place for my dogs. I'd have to like Um get a sitter for the dogs. So it was financially draining for me and um You know, we didn't like spend a whole lot of money or anything, but um Um It was just exhausting. I was exhausted So he was having a little time and you know, you know, well, you can come to my house That was great, but I'm gonna be candid with you. You still haven't gotten to the root of the why Like why did you say this wasn't working for me? Now first off really quickly ladies or what really quickly? Jonathan fan I want to acknowledge something. Okay, you made a financial investment in him And you made the physical effort to drive towards him. Okay So what I'm already observing is an imbalance of effort. Okay The your your effort was here and his effort was here now I'll be candid with you that space in between Is often known as drama Okay, women have a propensity to say i'm doing all this for you And you're not doing this for me. And so they're in that space. It becomes very dramatic. I'm not saying that's what you did I'm saying that traditionally happens So let's come back to this. This is really important. You're helping people here What wasn't working for you The thing that wasn't working I I actually asked him I said so You know, if you come to my house, then I don't have to Rent a dog sitter. Okay. Okay He said He couldn't And what reason did he give for I apologize? What? He just basically told me no Okay, so what reason did he give you for now? Um something about his you know spending gas he was kind of he was see he was A good guy, but he was in a really unstable place in his life. He was retired But he didn't have enough money and he was making sure that he could paper his house And he was working at his dad's Orchard doing a bunch of stuff. How old was he by the way? He says 66 66 I'm 60 So, okay. Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry your age again Three 63. Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay. Thank you. Okay. So he didn't have the financial means To travel to you and so you made the effort to travel to him But there's something deeper that you're not saying here because I what I'm and I'm going to speculate now, but because That okay It's more than just he didn't come to you. There's something else that wasn't working for you Yeah, he wasn't I don't feel like he really I Don't think out that we really had a future really honestly. I didn't think that there was Any possibility of anything ever going any farther? Okay, so it's fascinating to me though And by the way, I appreciate your Bravery and by the way, you notice I'm not being my traditional dick that I am to women on my channel because I because I'll be sometimes I just get irritated with stupidity, but I've got to own that's my shit. That's my projection You told me I was stupid and I listened to you Okay, but so my point is is I I recognize that I'm not as big a teddy bear as I should ought to be at times Okay, with that said You what's fascinating pardon me Just be you. Yeah. Okay. So what fascinates me though is you were in love with him yeah so I I wonder if it was real genuine love and I'm wondering if it was an unhealthy attachment to this person Because I don't think a person and I'm also going to say I also want to even go a step further and I'm saying Your choice of this relationship was abandoning your own self-love because it's I think a few if you're accommodating him right from the beginning by traveling to him you're abandoning yourself And so each day, I mean granted you might have drove to him for the first date But he should have come to you the next one and you go to him and he comes to you the minute you abandon your own standard You then I can't I don't believe you were in a position to love him in a healthy way I wonder if you loved him in an unhealthy way. Can you expand upon that? I just that's the way that I Did things but I'm really working at making that different now. Yeah, I'm changing The way I relate to people and I'm not going to be in a relationship until I can relate to them in a healthy way And that's just the way that it's going to be from here on out Yeah So well first off Bravo to you. I love hearing that by the way. Yeah, I want you to I am I am worthy That is you if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here. So thank you. Oh expand upon that Um, just your you know, your crazy rants and the jonathan all the nonsense You know, it's just uh Yeah, thank you You just made my day I had someone that was mean to me the other day on my youtube channel and I'm like By the way, I have the thinnest skin on the planet by the way Huh Just ignore them. There's there you know, no, no, no, but I'm I'm I'm also I read because I am always participating So in my my work. So, um All right Have what are you doing now? I'm in canada right now. I just got off of a seminar and uh, okay But what I don't mean right this moment. What are you doing now to attract love in your life? Are you on the dating apps? Have you gone, you know, you haven't had one was a lot so you haven't done anything I'm not I'm not going out. I'm I'm just gonna I'm gonna Be with my family and I'm going to Get better at being me and I'm going to just like live life, you know to go to dog parks and grocery stores and I have a couple groups that I'm in and that's just That's all I'm doing You know and here's the thing the most important relationship I invite you to curate is the relationship with yourself, but folks anyone who's over 60 watching this, okay um You know I'm sorry to say it from a from a pessimistic point of view. It's just a realistic point of view I mean the odds aren't in our favor, okay and And I hope my work is much like the hunger games may the odds forever be in your favor, okay Because it's like the hunger games like there's one out of there. What is it 12 people? There's 11 people trying to kill you There are 11 people trying to fuck with your emotional chi is what I mean by that and putting the odds in your favor means Building your own sovereignty. So you're the strongest warrior out there You don't need to physically kill anyone But you protect you and I don't want anyone to say protect But you're so protected in your bubble of self-worth self-esteem self-confidence self-reliance Self-determination self-discipline you are so encompassed in your sovereignty That it doesn't matter whether or not you're in a relationship or not. Is this sinking in is this resonating Yes, it resonates. Okay Well, sweetheart, uh from the bottom of my heart if it's okay. I use that term of endearment Can I reach into the camera and give you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug? I got you guy. Oh, thank you so much for being on Thanks Wow, what a great share from our jonathan fan um Folks There's nothing easy about this thing called dating mating and relating And we can put ourselves out there just much like she did we can put ourselves out there And it's good that we put ourselves out there I think she stood up for herself at the end Could she have done it a few months sooner? Probably Sometimes we have to go through these experiences to really learn as much about ourselves, but at the end of the day What she did Was make a stand for her sovereignty And that's my invitation for everybody here. My channel isn't about whether or not you meet the love of your life It's not about understanding all the different ways men show they care and all these different things My message to everybody Is to love find the relationship within themselves first because that matters most And by the way, I've worked with women in their 60s and 70s who have found love So it is absolutely possible even though the odds are against us. It is absolutely possible I invite you all to curate a life Become the reality show people want to watch become the reality show people want to watch Because within that you curate a life that is so juicy delicious healthy and happy that you become a magnetic Attractor you are not looking for a needle in the haystack You have become the electromagnet that tracks that person into your life And that's my invitation for all of you to dive into your sovereignty Jane spitfire by the way, my favorite three words on the planet are you are right? I'm gonna tell you I when somebody says that I always say i'm sorry. I couldn't hear you jane. Can you write it down again? I'm gonna tell you I have an ego I do i'm gonna own it