 My name is Sam Dagnyn. I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism-Risited. Do narcissists hate women? Are they misogynistic? Women are sources of narcissistic supply, which the narcissist craves. But they are also sources and fountains of intimacy, which the narcissist fears and abhors. Narcissists are addicted to a drug called narcissistic supply. Primary narcissistic supply is any kind of narcissistic supply provided by people who are not meaningful or significant others. Adulation, attention, affirmation, fame, notoriety, and even sexual conquests are all forms of primary narcissistic supply. They emanate from people who are casual and occasional in the narcissist's life. Secondary narcissistic supply comes from people who are in repetitive or continuous touch with the narcissist, such as his spouse or his lover or even his colleagues at work. Secondary narcissistic supply includes the important roles and functions of narcissistic accumulation, which means remembering and witnessing the narcissist's moments of glory and narcissistic regulation, which is reminding the narcissist of these moments of glory when he is running low on narcissistic supply. Narcissists therefore need women to carry out both these functions. They are dependent on women to some extent. But narcissists also abhor and dread getting emotionally intimate. Sex is perceived as the ultimate form of intimacy. Hence, narcissists try to avoid sex altogether or to transform it into an impersonal act. Cerebral narcissists regard sex as a maintenance chore, something they have to do in order to keep their source of narcissistic supply content and around. The somatic narcissist, on the other hand, treats women as objects and sex as a means to obtaining narcissistic supply. Thus, the narcissist's frame of mind is reminiscent of that of the European male well into the 18th century. Women and children are perceived to be property, châtel. Their role is the unconditional and front gratification of the narcissist. Moreover, many narcissists tend to frustrate women. They refrain from having sex with them. They tease them and then leave them, resist flirtatious and seductive behaviors, and so on. Often they invoke the existence of a girlfriend, a fiance or a spouse, as their reason why they cannot have sex or intimacy or develop a relationship. But this is not out of loyalty or fidelity in the empathic or the loving sense. This is because the narcissist wishes and often succeeds to statistically frustrate the interested party. But all this pertains only to cerebral narcissists, not to somatic narcissists and not to histrionics, people with histrionic personality disorder. These, the somatic and the histrionic, use their body, bodies, their sexuality, their techniques of seduction and flirtation to extract narcissistic supply from others via sexual conquest. Otherwise, cerebral narcissists are not interested in women, and somatic narcissists are, but only in this limited sense. Narcissists are misogynists. They team up with women who serve as sources of narcissistic supply. Women's chores are to accumulate past narcissistic supply by witnessing the narcissist moments of glory and release this information, this witnessing, in an orderly manner in order to regulate the fluctuating flow of primary supply and compensate in times of deficient supply. Most of the narcissists, especially the cerebral ones, are actually asexual. They desire a sex very rarely, if at all, they are hyposexual. Narcissists hold women in contempt and abhor the thought of being really intimate with them. Usually they choose partners who are submissive women, whom they disdain for being well below their intellectual level. This kind of choice, self-defeating, and even self-destructive choice, leads to a vicious circle, a vicious cycle of neediness and self-contempt. The inner dialogue of the narcissists is, I need this woman to provide me with narcissistic supply, but how come I am dependent on this inferior creature? And hence the abuse. The narcissist reasserts control and his superiority and his omnipotence by abusing his spouse or his lover. When primary narcissistic supply is available, the woman is hardly tolerated. As one would reluctantly pay the premium of an insurance policy, the narcissist maintains the relationship. Narcissists of all stripes regard the subjugation of an attractive woman to be a source of narcissistic supply. Both cerebrals and somatics like to subjugate women. Such conquests are status symbols, proofs of virility, and they allow the narcissist to engage in vicarious narcissistic behaviors, to express his narcissism through the conquered woman, to transform these women into instruments at the service of his narcissism into his extensions. This is done by employing defense mechanisms such as projective identification, which we discuss in other videos. The narcissist believes that being in love is actually merely going through the motions. To him, emotions are mimicry and pretence. He does not believe that anyone has true feelings. He believes that people are acting. Narcissist says, I am a conscious misogynist. I fear and love women and tend to ignore them to the best of my ability. To me, women are mixtures of hunters and parasites. Most male narcissists are indeed misogynists. They hate women. After all, they are the world creations of women. Women gave birth to them and women molded them into what they are dysfunctional, maladaptive and emotionally dead. Narcissists are angry at their mothers. By extension, they rage and abuse all women. Narcissist's attitude to women is naturally complex and multi-layered, but it can be described using four axes. A woman is either a holy or a hunter parasite, a frustrating object of desire or a unique creation. Narcissist divides all women into saints and whores. He finds it difficult to have sex, which is dirty, forbidden, punishable and degrading, with feminine, significant others such as spouse or intimate girlfriend. To him, sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive, rather than mutually expressive and mutually enhancing propositions. Sexist, as far as Narcissist is concerned, is reserved to whores. In other words, all the other women in this world, not the significant ones, not his spouse, not his mother, not his girlfriend. This division between saints and whores results in Narcissist's cognitive dissonance. I want her. I don't need her. I want her. I don't want her. These inner conflicts are resolved by saying, I don't need her. She is inferior. I want her because she is a kind of object of gratification. This division also legitimizes the Narcissist's sadistic urges. Staining from sex is a major and recurrent narcissistic penalty inflicted on female transgressors. It tallies well with the frequent idealization devaluation cycles the Narcissist goes through. The idealized females in the eyes of the Narcissist are sexless. The devalued females are deserving of their degradation via sex, and they are deserving of the contempt that is attendant to sex. The Narcissist believes firmly that women are out to hunt men by genetic predisposition. As a result, the Narcissist feels threatened, as any prey would. This, of course, is an intellectualization of the real state of affairs. The Narcissist feels threatened by women and tries to justify this irrational fear by imbuing women with objective menacing qualities as huntresses. Well, this is just one small demarcissist pathologizes others generally, not only women, in order to control them. The Narcissist believes that once their prey is secure, women assume the role of body snatchers. They abscond with a male's sperm. They generate an endless stream of demanding and nose-dripping children. They financially bleed the men in their lives to cater to their needs and to the needs of their dependents. But differently, women are parasites, leeches, whose sole function is to suck dry every man they find, and tarantula-like decapitate him once no longer useful. Is this a reflection of the Narcissist's behavior, or what? Yes, true. The Narcissist projects his own modes of behavior, his own traits, on to women. This, of course, is exactly what the Narcissist does to people. Thus, his view of women is near an absolute projection.