 Whenever we discuss dating on the show here, we get inundated with messages around the nice guy and nice guy syndrome. It's been coined a lot of things. And we all know the classic story of the bad boy who comes in and it has all the sexual choice in the world. So he gets all the mates. And we've also heard of the dreaded friend zone and being the nice guy who finishes last, you came up with the concept of the tender defender. And I think it's fantastic. I'd love for you to explain to our audience what you mean by that and then we can discuss how we can become tender defenders. Yeah, the tender defender is the idea that women want a kind of mosaic of traits that a guy can kind of deploy in different situations, right? So if she is with him and they have kids and there is a serious physical threat or even a social threat, reputational threat to their family, he has to be able to step up and be the defender, protect her using any means necessary, right? Machiavellian intelligence, if it's a social threat or physical force, if it's a physical threat. On the other hand, most of the time, she'll want him to be tender, caring, compassionate, a good dad, a good partner, attentive in bed, etc. So guys have to figure out how do you display both sides of this? How do you show a woman they're capable of going into defender mode, protective mode, and stepping up when there's a threat? But also, most of the time, you can be kind, normal, not really nice guy, but warm, warm-hearted. And getting that balance right is very tricky, particularly for young men. They either kind of overdo the tough, protective image, the bad boy, who won't actually defend you when the shit hits the fan, right? Because he's bad, he's not ethical, he's not capable of real commitment. But you also don't want to be the nice guy who can't ever stand up for himself or argue with the woman or say no to her or say no to anybody else. So do you have an ideal breakdown or ratio to tender to defender? Well, what we said in the Mate book is that you should be in this tender, warm-hearted mode, about 95% of the time, under most circumstances in civilized society, and in defender mode, a small percentage of the time. But that small percent is really crucial and women pay a lot of attention to it. Right. So it's about expressing assertiveness, not constantly, not over the top, but expressing assertiveness in front of her on a date that demonstrates that there is this defender side to you. And being someone who's virtuous, caring, compassionate, all these things that we've talked about is important 95% of the time, but being able to step into that moment of tension, that moment of uh-oh, what are we going to do? That 5% of the time matters tremendously to avoid the friend zone, to avoid the nice guy syndrome. And of course, those are the moments that get elevated in this bad boy mindset, right? He comes in and saves the day, but it's the other 95% of the time where he doesn't give a shit about anyone. He's being selfish, taking whatever he wants, using people that doesn't actually work. Yeah. And I think the defender mode, it really helps a lot to have done some combat sports like your mixed martial arts, Jiu Jitsu, stuff like that. Not that you'll ever necessarily use it, but guys carry themselves differently if they've had that training than if they haven't. And women notice that. So I think that's one way of sort of displaying defender potential. And then I think being socially assertive is the other thing. Are you willing to speak up in groups? Are you willing to stand up to authority if the authority is threatening a woman? Are you willing to take risks for her? She'll pay an enormous amount of attention to all of that, but for introverts like me, it's tough to learn that kind of social assertiveness. It's kind of taken like decades and I've had many, many errors and missteps before I really understood how it worked. There's also, as you say, there's also sexual assertiveness as well. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the third thing absolutely is kind of your potential for sexual domination to the right degree under the right circumstances if you're doing the right kind of sexual role play. When I teach about BDSM and kink in my human sexuality class, a lot of the students' minds are kind of blown about, wait, you can leave your egalitarian feminism at the door when you go in the bedroom and you can do stuff that's a power exchange dynamic where somebody takes the lead and the other person follows and then they go, of course that's hot. I mean, that's every female romance novel has that power dynamic and a lot of women and men fantasize about that, but they're too frightened to really play around with it. Once you do, though, I think it's enormously helpful because you can kind of like modulate how much of it you bring into your sex lives all the way from just, I'll pull your hair a little bit too. I will tie you up in a complex, shabari, bondage, suspension or whatever. Combat sports, social assertiveness, BDSM, three key ingredients. Sounds like a very fun semester at the University of New Mexico.