 Hey guys, it's Divya again and I have a video today and it's the most important video I've Made so far and I think it's the most important video. I will ever make or could ever make because It's so powerful Now it's not anything I've created. It's just an experience. I want to share with you it's about meditation and if you Implement this try this out I'm going to make a claim here and the claim is that I think if you try this you will have an experience in meditation You may have heard people say maybe you've said it yourself in the past You know, I don't get meditation. Meditation isn't for me. I've never had an experience in meditation. It's not working If you do this and keep an open mind with this so simple what I'm going to say here I think you will have an experience in your next meditation. So let's jump in So I'm going to outline Three mistakes and then I'm going to give you a different alternative approach. So three mistakes we typically make in meditation now How do I know these mistakes? I've made these mistakes. I've made all these mistakes So if you can actually get to a place where meditation works for you It is amazing. Okay, it will change your life. There's no doubt about that but not if you do this not if you do what I did for years and years and frustrate yourself and Get nowhere with it and just think you're like a spiritual dummy or something So first mistake. What is the first mistake? We make with meditation and now this is by the way, some of this is going to annoy people. Okay, because Some it's based on a lot of the advice I took from other people you know experts in meditation and things and In my opinion, it doesn't work So I'm going to share with you what worked for me So whatever I say here will annoy some people that think I'm wrong. They want to agree with it But you know, I'm not here to say that this is the only solution I want you to try this and see what you think of this You can tell me below in the comments if you like if you think I'm full of it or not But I do try this myself personally I'm with other people and it seems to be paying huge Given big dividends for us. So first mistake is you keep track of how long you meditate Then you repeat that you keep track of how long your meditation sessions are And the problem with timing Your sessions is that the benefits of meditation are not time-sensitive. They're not time-related in other words You could meditate for 30 seconds and Have the experience you're after with meditation Alternatively, you could meditate for 45 minutes or an hour or an hour and a half And here's the thing people won't like to hear It could be a complete waste of your time that is Just the way it is as far as I'm concerned the feeling of relaxation or The other benefit I'll talk about in a minute can come to you in meditation in an instant after five seconds As soon as you're doing it. It can just be there Okay, so you don't it's not about Well, I did 45 minutes, you know, I make a progress look how long I meditated for No, okay. Now I can I can see how that would frustrate people because you know, we put in all this effort It's not about effort. Okay. It's not about how hard you work in meditation It's kind of the opposite of that actually, okay Now, so that's the first one now bear with me I will be giving you an alternative to all of this if this is like putting the rug out from Monday right now In terms of how you've been approaching this the second one is The belief you have about meditation It's the belief that you think in meditation. There is something to master There is nothing to master in meditation You think that if you're consistent enough if you do long enough sessions that eventually you'll get good enough and then one day You'll get it. Okay. That's The problem. Okay, that's not how it works The reason for that is that this leads to something I call bulldozing in meditation bulldozing is when you feel resistance to do in meditation or You're feeling just that inner conflict about uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable in the meditation But I power through I just power through because I'm gonna achieve something here in this meditation I'm gonna can do this for half an hour or 45 minutes, right? so you bulldoze through the resistance that is a problem because What you need to do is you it's all about just simply non-aggressively Becoming aware of your resistance while it's coming up. Okay Becoming aware of your need to go and do something other than meditation or Becoming aware of my own willingness or my own comfortable feeling around simply being here sitting still That's the whole point of meditation. It is Uncomfortable. Okay, I'm becoming aware of that and not bulldozing through that is The solution to this. Okay, believe me. It's just it's a mindset shift in this now when you become aware of your resistance And you stop trying to bulldoze through it you stop blaming yourself because you have the resistance Then you gain everything. It's like a whole new world opens up to you in meditation Okay, so the second one is you think there is something to achieve or master in meditation So you're forcing your way through it No, there is nothing to master in meditation Which brings us to Another point the third one is You see meditation as something to take off a to-do list Okay, it's your practice and your pride yourself and how disciplined you are and how conscientious you are and How great you are with self-development so you're going to take that off your list and feel like you've made progress again It's not about doing it's not about achieving and kind of telling this thing about it Well, I've ticked it off the list today, so I must be making progress It's actually not true Okay, it's actually not true it's something Other than that it's about becoming less of a doer Less of an achiever. That's the goal of meditation and it did that is a huge huge prize By the way, like that can be achieved and I'm going to talk about that now in a second But how we can actually do this It brings an indifference about things and we still want things in the world and outside of meditation Of course meditation is all about how we behave outside of meditation by the way Bringing that into our daily lives, but it's about being indifferent to things not being reactive to things being okay within my own body Not needing Desperately things to go my way externally It's about starting to see kind of the silliness of our to-do lists. So And again, it's it's also a way of having a to-do list a to-do list. Well, what if I don't do it? Then am I bad at that meditation? What's wrong with me? Am I lazy? Okay, so it's not on your to-do list. That's not the way to think about this. So With all that said, those are the three mistakes. Okay, the three mistakes in meditation. They are you think You need to keep track of how long you meditate You think there is something to master and meditate and if you bulldoze through it, you'll finally get it Okay, and also you think it's like something to do take off a to-do list Here is how you're going to get the experience and you can get it the next time you meditate Two steps and I have them written here in front of me and I'm going to share them with you right now The first step is accept Whenever you have resistance to meditation Become aware of it. It's not laziness It's called resistance. It's a thing. Okay, and become aware Just simply becoming aware of the resistance is the key Okay And in the meditation What you're becoming aware of what you're observing is You know, you're not trying to achieve anything master anything You're just becoming aware of my own resistance to actually being here my own resistance to sit and still and Be silent for a few minutes or however long it is Or not diamond or member. Okay. It's just about Becoming aware. Okay. This feels uncomfortable This feels uncomfortable. Why do I why what's wrong that I can't sit here like this? It's called resistance and it's not to feel bad about it. It's the whole point of meditation So become aware of your resistance. Here's the second thing we do Simply sit in position wherever you meditate with no time expectation and no effort and watch resistance see how long it lasts and That is complete success if you are that conscientious person I talked about that has a to-do list That's it as soon as you're sitting in position. Take off the list Okay, I don't have to sit here for half an hour or 45 minutes or an hour or two hours, whatever it is just being here and Observing how resistant I am to doing this is complete success. Okay Take all pressure off yourself. There's nothing to achieve. There's no expectations for how it goes There's nothing to do and there is no effort on my behalf other than to become aware about how resistant I am There is a line in the in the text of course in miracles it says only infinite patience brings immediate results So we need to become aware of how resistant we are to it If if there was no resistance when it comes to meditation in the world, everyone would be meditating easily But we don't we avoid it. Okay. We beat ourselves up because we don't do it So remember the two steps, okay? Become aware of your resistance to meditate and that's what you're going to be aware of during your meditation On other than that you just sit still no effort no expectation Don't try anything and sit there for as long as you sit there and that's it complete success Now if you do that you will start to get in touch With your inner doer your inner need For external outcomes will become very obvious to you and becoming aware of it means that it won't sabotage you or take control of your life you start to become a lot more relaxed and and Take life as it comes more so Again Maybe this advice this video has annoyed some people. I hope it hasn't because that's not what I'm trying to do here I'm trying to give people who are beating themselves up because they can't meditate or we would love to get some of these great Benefits of meditation. I'm trying to show you Away in here. Okay, or away if you've been doing it for a long time to just finally get some benefit out of it some genuine Experience because what are we trying to do with meditation? Meditation it's not how long we do it for it's about finding a true Experience that is what meditation is for it's just about the depth of the truth you find in the experience Okay, so that's the video. I hope it helped you. I hope it does help you You can let me know what you think below if you like you can email me and on my website dr. David lonely calm the link is below and You know do all those things if you want to help me out you can subscribe and you can maybe like the video or share it And I do want the one sessions as well Counseling and psychotherapy sessions online Skype ones and in my practice too So guys, thanks so much for watching this. I hope it helps and I'll see you