 Welcome back after the break. Before we went for the break we were looking at the developmental needs of preteens and we were looking at what we can do. So we said that you know we need to allow them a certain degree of independence and we were discussing the areas that we can give them independence. So Divya says taking care of their responsibilities just guiding them if they need help yes giving them responsibilities and you know just allow them the freedom to do things in their way but the things that but always you know guide them and help them when you sense or see something that is not in the going the right way then you can just kind of you know step in and very nicely lovingly tell them but when you give them responsibilities get let them use their own creativity their way of dealing with it the way of running it or taking it forward you know you know just give them the freedom to do that yes what else anything else I don't know if you have set rules and boundaries that you can work with in your class you'll do that when you're teaching teens or children for each class I think it's important to set rules and boundaries you know like what are some of the simple rules that can have in your class you know when I'm talking the teacher's talking then no one else is talking either with you know in tools or you know or just you know talking out loud but if you want to have a ask a question then you raise your hand and when somebody else is talking you know all of us listen to that person including me as a teacher I will listen we will not laugh at them we will not make fun of their question but listen to them very carefully and we will take chances in talking and discussing very very important so you know get them to set rules that you're making for that in the class of course you know some of them will go to an extreme where they can give you some really you know funny rules but you can just what you can do is you can laugh at them at their rule you know just kind of jokingly take it and ask them why they why they want that as a rule and then you can ask the others in the class and you know discuss that as well so you know and then finally the child will say I was just joking it's the funny rule I don't think we can do that and things like that yes so give them freedom to an independence to to voice out what they are thinking they're feeling you know they can even disagree with you at times you know if you're talking about Trinity they can even say I don't think Holy Spirit is God so get them to voice out what they are thinking you know if they don't accept any of the doctrines you know they can just talk about it you know where it says all of us have sinned some of them can say no I don't believe that all of us are sinners we are not all sinners so don't be too shocked and you know ask them to keep quiet and say that's the what the Bible says you have to listen I mean you have to discuss with them and show them from various scripture passages and you know get them to think and reason and that is why it's important for us to reason and discuss with them and help them to think logically also Paul says making choice of friends yes you know help them to choose friends but give them the freedom to choose their own friends but you need to help them to make the right choice of friends because you know their friends can either make them or break them very very important at this age the right kind of friendship circle so important to talk about choices that's a good topic to talk for to minister to free teens and teens as choices and choices in various areas one of them can be friends it is very very important so talk about scripture passages narratives from the Bible and help them in this area yes thank you all of you who shared just a few more things on what you can do listen to their point of view you know and try to understand what they are trying to say you know and you know show them that you value them that each one of them are important by genuinely listening to what they are saying so when once they have mentioned what they have said you can say okay I think let me just you know reiterate what you have said I hope I heard you right so this is what you said and you know so when you're when you are saying that you are you say hey what you're saying is important I'm genuinely interested in listening to you understanding what you are saying you know and also like I said you know encourage them by saying hey I think what you said is so important so right it's so true it's something that we all go through what what do the others think and I totally understand from where you're coming what you're saying I went through it when I was preteen or as a teenager so when you when you're saying all this you're saying hey you know your question is important what you're thinking is important and I'm here to address it I'm here to help you but if you don't show interest in what they are saying then you know you're overriding their opinion then they will not kind of be interested in your class and you're showing that you don't care what they're going through you're not understanding them you're not feeling for them for this age group it's very important for you to feel with them that is what they want you know that you feel you understand you know you know and when you are able to show them that kind of care and concern then what you tell them what you reason with them and you know the conclusion you bring about even if it's going to be a little different from what they think or have concluded but themselves they will listen to you they will take what your state okay the last thing that we can do is continue you know put safe limits take an interest in where they are going and what they are doing so what do you think you know this point means how can we continue using safe limits and what are the areas we need we need to take interest in where they are going and what they are doing any thoughts on this okay social media yes that's a huge challenge which we need to talk about in the teen sessions you can also have that as part of your curriculum yes what else how they are relating with their parents even it's something that we can teach okay how they are the emotions emotional handlings because there might be a lot of differences in the parents view and the teens view okay thank you are using modern technology yes anything else what are the safe limits what is safe limits okay so safe limits can be like helping them to make that you know think about their boundaries you know those the protective fences that they need to put in place or have in place what is culturally acceptable but may not be biblical okay so safe limits are you know help them to think about boundaries like for example what can be some of the boundaries you know is this an age to you know fall in love even though you are in an emotional you know you are attracted to the opposite sex usually when it six great children grade six seven you know to grade ten you know they get attracted to the opposite sex so is it in you know dating falling in love so what does the safe limits that you need to put into place like you know and not being with the boy or a girl separately in a in a closed room you know if somebody asked you to even if it's an older adult even if somebody was 60 plus you know tells you can you come in and you you observe that or you notice that you're alone in this room with that other person you know you need to you know have the safe boundary hey this is not where I need to be alone with this person in this room or you know about going places you know which are the kind of places you need to go what are the things you need to do kind of things that you need to watch like like and yeah the type of books you're reading yes all of these are some of the safe limits even you know if you are in love with the boy or a girl you know the safe limits of you know not holding hands or you know not even doing things that can escalate things among you first of all you know it's a no-thing I remember when I was in children's church we had this problem of you know some of the the girls were teasing the other girls and pairing them up with boys even if they were not having a relationship some of the little naughty girls were pairing the other girls in with the boys in children's church so it was becoming like a common thing and I wanted to you know address it in front of everyone so that everyone knew so I was saying that I know there's an age where you know all of you especially those in grade 6 and above you know you get attracted to boys the boys get it back to the girls and you you know you fall in love I know all this happens and I know this an age where you feel like this and then I told them it's good to fall in love and so they all are very excited you know and I could just see them all sitting up like this and they're all eyes focused and all of them smiling I said it's a good age to fall in love but not fall in love with another boy or a girl but fall in love with Jesus and they were all like oh no auntie is like you know so I said this is a good age to fall in love with Jesus and then I was telling them why and I had also telling them why it's not in good age to fall in love with a boy or a girl and what it really means commitment and and all of those things and I told them that you know it's not also good to pair up a girl and a boy because some of them are feeling very sad they don't want to come to Children's Church and and you know I mentioned all the things so it's good to you know place these safe boundaries and limits also you know take an interest in where they're going and what they are doing for you know when you're mentoring them this is very very important you know talk about all of these things you know you go out with your friends what where do you go out what do you do where do you hang out you know what are you what you discuss and you know they all discuss about this and that and then they say no we don't discuss about this this week we were discussing about this and so you're getting to know what they're talking about so you know get involved in their lives take interest and you know don't judge them don't condemn them but just listen to care and to help them and you know and also teach them how to keep their boundaries in place so important even for us older people that you know some of the boundaries that I put in place when I was a preteen and a teen still functions today in my mind as well so it's important to teach them now itself know to put the set boundaries and eat within those boundaries and those limits and talk about how Biblik can you unmute please so you didn't hear all what I said or just now just now it went okay okay so any questions anyone else has but there's no audio Paul because I had accidentally unmuted okay anyone has any questions on what we discussed about preteens before we move on to teenagers ages 13 to 15 that is 8 to 10 any thoughts any questions anything you like to say anything I miss saying okay if there are no questions and nothing anyone wants to share yes jeffina yeah so I just have a question about like when a teenager is so silent even a class we don't understand like like kind of anything about them they just come they sit silently and sometimes I feel bad they might feel left out because all the other boys they are active in the glass they answer the question even if we intentionally try to get them the answer I feel sometimes they're intentionally silent so how we came across such children and what do you do to make them kind of interactive at least for us to know that they're listening there the word is being planted yes that's genuine concern and I think that's a very important thing that we all face as ministers or teachers who teach preteens and teens so what do we do when you know they just don't sometimes still if you ask them something they'll say mm-hmm so you don't know whether they're saying yes no what absolutely you know no feedback from them they're just very quiet they don't want to share or talk why do you think they don't want to voice out even if they want to share and talk and voice out their opinions their thoughts why don't they do it any any idea any thoughts on that it's basically because they're so conscious of what their peers will think their friends will think whether they will laugh at them or how can he think like that how can she think like that how stupid of you or she you know that's not a right way of thinking so you know they just are so conscious of what their friends will think that they don't want to voice it out so I think what what what do you think is the best thing to do when you want to get their thoughts and their inputs on specific topics which are very important and they are not speaking they are not just opening their mouths and saying anything you're not getting anything from them what do you think is the best option to do at that time any thoughts okay Divya says share your own stories okay that's good yes I think group discussion will be very good you know you can put the the quieter ones with a with others who are little you know talkative who will openly discuss and say things so when they are in a group setting and they have to you know share their thoughts and then you have one of them writing it down and presenting it then you can hear from them what they have actually thought and then when you begin to discuss on those points then you can say hey this group said this why do you think this way you know so then they say okay she said it he said it then I said okay as a group why did you say it you know another way you can have is debate I think debate is very good because basically you know preteens the boys are very competitive so you can have and they they like they like reasoning thinking they like competitive games the entire group you know so you can get them to have debates and that's when they can get really you can get out all their thoughts and everything so that's another thing that you can do also like Divya said share your own stories but you can also it's important to have case scenarios you know talk about various makeup case scenarios based on what they are going through so you know you know you paint a scenario and say hey Ruth you know did this this this this this and so what do you think was route right in doing what she did what she should have done differently you know like that or you can talk about some famous personality which they would really be interested in and say hey this personality did this do you think it's right what they did what they should have done differently what they shouldn't have done what they should do and things like that that's when you can get their view points of view and I think for preteens thank you jeffina for bringing it out it's important that you just not you know give them the doctrines and just feed them with you know or just teach them and push it down their throats but it's important that you use all of these methods to get them to reason to think to analyze and how to work out things like we were saying for this age group the how how to apply what you have learned very very important and we'll look at teens you know they don't have for the attention span can be very short if you're not quickly moving it on for them to think mentally discuss reason and all of those things so it's important for this age group that you give them case scenarios real-life examples testimonies get them to speak out rather than just you know feeding them with the doctrines and what the word of God says okay even if you're talking about the narratives in the Bible you can still get them to discuss why the person did behave this way what that person could have done differently you know what do you think God should have done shouldn't have done and things like that so it's a good discussion time and they're able to think and reason and you know apply things in their own lives which would be very very helpful yeah okay thank you for that anyone else has any questions anything that you'd like to pose or discuss about that if you were saying how do we prepare them for teen years coming up yeah so what we basically looked at the fear was you know preparing them for teenage right if you looked at all the things that we discuss about you know safe limits you know the topics what they're going through emotionally looking for independence how to help them resolve conflicts all that is basically what they also go through teenage so it is developmental needs are kind of similar there's an overlap for pre-teens and teens so you're basically preparing them for the teenage years yeah did that help okay okay thank you we'll move on to teens that is 13 to 15 years old grade grades 8 to 10 so children who are teens who are in grade 8 9 and 10 okay so physically you know they are their growth rate is varied for each one of them the physical development is varied for each one of them so you know be very very sensitive also like I just mentioned that you know just don't be talking to them or teaching them doctrines or what the word of God says but you know kind of have various activities that would help you know balance their mental you know what they're thinking mentally you know developing a mental stimulation and also physical movement in terms of you know doing some activities or you know acting out for example even if you don't want to discuss get them to discuss what a present case scenario is you can give them a case scenario and ask them to act what the person did and you know another team can act how they could have done it differently you know so that ways you can even if people who have different learning styles children who learn by doing not just speaking and hearing they would be very very interested so have various activities you know like group discussions case scenarios personal testimony show them short videos discuss on those videos you know also you know get them to enact various things have short games that and activities that can help them to understand concepts abstract concepts in a very real in a very tangible way okay also emphasize sorry sorry just move to the next slide yeah promote awareness of you know healthy lifestyle choices very very important how to take care of their personal health their well-being basically having mental and emotional balance because that is going haywire now get them to understand why they are emotionally on a roller coaster it's because of the hormonal changes that is happening basically more for the girls because you know when they're having their cycles they are emotionally very down low they find it there they they they get easily depressed they can get easily suicidal so you need to tell them that's very normal okay so you let get them to you know also make healthy lifestyle choices very very important choices is something that you need to keep talking discussing connecting with them over and over again okay mentally you know help children you know encourage them to think critically and analyze get them to think deeply about things encourage them to ask questions you know so that you can understand whether they have really understood what has been discussed you know then teach them to analyze the information by looking at different parts a different ways different angles a different you know scenarios that you can paint for them and help them to figure out how they fit together okay to to join the pieces together also introduce abstract concepts and encourage discussion about ideas talk about ideas that are not always easy to see and touch like the younger age groups but you know they're looking for more concrete stuff but here you know they're willing to listen and they can understand abstract concepts so talk about these ideas we looked at a whole lot of them for the preteens what we can talk about trinity prophecies and all of those things you know but when you discuss these things it might be a little difficult for them to understand at first but the way you help them understand it is very very important so that's where you can have a lot of case scenarios right real-life testimonies and narratives from the Bible okay and encourage conversation general talk about these ideas and concepts which they're not just able to see or touch but they can they'll be able to understand also foster independence in learning provide them opportunities let them do things on their own you know and get them to find out information on their own and understand and reason and think so for example you can even give them Bible verses you know on a specific topic a specific point in that topic and then you can give them two or three Bible verses put them in groups and get them to analyze and think what are what is the person feeling what are they are going through why did they act in the way they did you know and you know get them to and encourage them and support them to find out information on their own and you know learn things by themselves learn new things by themselves so just don't give everything to them but use these various methodologies which will enhance their understanding their learning and their reasoning okay the next one is you know emphasize logical reasoning teach them to you in other words is teach them to use their brains to solve problems now why did I say teach them to use their brains to solve the problems any idea why I said teach them to use their brains to solve their problems yeah Jeffyna says because most of the time they're emotional yes because they're thinking through their emotions their feelings okay so you need to get them to use their brains to solve their problems and not just be very very emotional okay also challenge them to think logically reason out things and show them how they can solve a problem step by step okay that every problem you know you need to solve it step by step you just can't try to do something and you you know you just can't get results we are an instant generation you know they want everything instantly so you need to teach them how to think step by step to solve our problems also encourage to encourage critical questioning what do I mean by this encourage critical questioning of information teach them to assess and question authority respectfully what do I mean by this any thoughts any ideas just let them make them feel that you know it's okay to ask questions you know even it's when it's about what adults think about or say you know it's okay to say like hey my parents are saying this my teacher is saying this you know this important personality set this is it right is it okay you know so get them to ask questions it's okay even if what adults say you know have them to learn how to question information in a very polite and a respectful respectful way you know so not in a very arrogant in a stubborn in a rude way but teach them to ask questions in a more polite in a respectful way so even if their parents are saying things and doing things differently no like for example a teenager can say hey you know my I heard my father you know talking to his boss on the phone and he lied but when I lie and I tell them that you know I've gone to my friend's house and you know yeah I after my friends house we went out and we had you know ice cream and cool drink and I didn't tell them that and I said I was my friend's house and my father said hey you're lying to me I saw you with the ice cream father and you know he wants me to tell the truth but my dad is self in front of me he lied to his boss that he didn't come to office today because he's unwell but actually he was not unwell he had some important personal work to do so is that okay is that right you know so the the what the child is saying is yes is right but you know the way that they can tell their father you can say hey you you're telling me not to lie I heard you lying to your boss the other day and the father is going to get really mad so you know the way they can learn to question information but you know do it in a polite and a respectful way also show them that thinking carefully about what they're told is very very important why is my dad telling me this why is my mom asking me this where did I go you know like for children this is a main concern for preteens and teens right they tell their parents you're going for tuition and you know they they should finish tuition and be back home at 6 30 but become 6 35 and the the the teens are telling me five minutes late ma'am and the phone rings where are you what are you doing why aren't you home it's it's already 6 35 and they think you know I'm going to run away with somebody or I'm going to go away somewhere and and all of that and I just listen to them I said yeah I understand your concern and you know I said even my parents like that they still like that and all of those things there but I I get them to think why you know their parents are behaving like this even when there's you know you're not come home in just it's just five minutes you know so I tell them you know what if your mom says hey I'm going to the market and I'll be back by you know should be back by 7 30 and I'm going to say hey my parents are going to my mom is gone to the market I can now watch TV play the music loud you know have some fun till she comes back maybe you can you do that but you know she use you look at 7 30 and you say hey it's 7 30 and mom is not come back and you'll wait till 7 40 and 7 45 and what will you do so they all laugh and smile and they say we'll take the phone and call my mom and say mom it's 7 45 not come home then I say why did you do that we're worried we're concerned then I asked them if your dad usually comes back home at what time so 7 8 6 o'clock and see your dad is not come back home at till 7 what does your mom do to take the phone and call dad so doesn't she trust dad and thinks dad has gone away with the runaway who left all of you and gone no why is it it's concerned so why do they do that with you because it's concerned and if you look at the newspaper you know I talk about the various things that come up in the newspaper how you know children are raped especially in our country that's become such a big concern over the past few years think that is the concern so they're able to see the fine minute you know they're not reaching home is a major concern for their parents not because they don't trust them but they don't trust the world around them so when they're able to see that you know they're able to understand better so you know help them to think carefully about what they're told and you know why it's important for them even what you're telling them how important it is for them okay support the emotion support emotional regulation discuss and explore strategies for managing stress and emotion it's important to talk to get them to talk about their feelings okay and how to handle them discuss ways how they can stay calm manage stress you know have them to learn different strategies for dealing with their emotions in a very very healthy way it's very important so it's important to do you know how to handle their emotions we're basically writing this for our catalyst curriculum how to handle emotions because we APC school outreach ministry is called catalyst and so we are writing a team curriculum we've started writing for grades 5 to 7 and 8 to 10 so we'll put that up on the website you can even access that we're talking about self-image media you know how to handle emotions also relationship with their parents and sexuality so all of these topics can be accessed from our website and you can also use it for your teen sessions in your respective churches or if you're teaching a school you can even use it there okay the next one is emotionally okay emotionally you know have an open communication fostered own open communication about their emotions and encourage them how to you know deal with their emotions teach them good ways to show their feelings and how to deal with difficult tough emotions encourage them to share what's on their heart and their minds also support their journey of self-discovery discuss topics like self-image identity values personal beliefs talk about who they are what makes them feel special discuss things like what's important to them what they believe in you know help them to understand more about themselves as they grow also cultivate empathy towards others important you know teach them how to listen to others to understand what others are feeling so if a teacher is you know shouted at them you know they can feel really upset but you know get them to think about the teacher what the teacher is going through what their parents are going through you know so it's important that they only not feel like oh everybody should understand me what I'm going through but also how they can empathize with others how they can understand and care about others feelings to talk about you know the the world the problems that are happening the world help them to understand different points of view and encourage them how to help to make their own living space whether they're in school or in at home or in the world around you know a better place by reacting to things in a very healthy encouraging a positive and a very godly way and socially you know again about their complex complexity in their teenage friendships I've already discussed about that and their relationships so you know talk about how to discuss various topics like peer pressure healthy boundaries very very important you know how to have healthy safe boundaries this age group it's important to talk about friends choice of friends peer pressure and how to maintain healthy boundaries also enhance their communication skills teach them you know effective ways of how to express their feelings and emotions and the thoughts in the right in a positive encouraging way also provide them opportunities for leadership roles and responsibilities that way you know their mind is occupied with a lot of things the responsibilities they take on responsibilities they're also learning what are their their positives and negatives their their skill sets what they're good at their strengths their weaknesses and also help them to explore social justice issues about how to bring about equality justice and how to relate to various social challenges that are there around them okay spiritually you know provide them with opportunities for you know deeper spiritual understanding of truths of concepts of doctrines discuss complex theological concepts like Trinity you know incarnation redemption sanctification reconciliation and all of these you know sin salvation all of these can be taught to them in a more deep deeper way also get them to you know acknowledge and address questions or doubts about their faith okay some of them will not you know accept a few things like I said it's okay acknowledge it address it it's okay for them to say hey I don't believe this I don't accept that it's it's fine support personal reflections of faith and spirituality encourage them to articulate their beliefs what they're thinking what they believe also you know get them to explore connections between their spirituality and serving others how to get them to you know perform or do acts of compassion and empathy okay so all of this is something that you can get them to do spiritually so before we close on this topic of developmental needs let's just look at what to expect you know from this age group they will begin to you know there there'll be a shift from following rules of authority figures to recognizing their own values they will define their own values their own rules their regulations what what they feel is comfortable for them and what they think is right rather than people's opinions so that is what is the meaning of transitioning values the next one is transitioning to living independently so they will transition to live independently out in the world they will do what they think feel and think is right they will also have a broaden thinking in the sense of they will begin to develop a capacity to think in much broader terms to conceptualize broader issues begin to see how things are connected to each other even difficult abstract ideas and this change in thinking is reflected in different ways they are taught at school how they taught a church and children's church thought at home and you know they are expected to take on responsibility for their own learning okay their own thinking and reasoning and how they're going to apply it in their own life and in the world around them in the way they socialize and how they live with others they also you know our personal responsibility they can see many things in the in the world from from a very new perspective for instance that you know parents are they'll begin to see their parents and their teachers at ordinary models not this you know mentors or these great models that they used to admire when they were juniors you know and just follow everything what their teachers said when they were in grade one two three four five grade one to four but now they will look at their parents and teachers as just ordinary models who have problems of their own who have their own weaknesses and their fail in their own so you know and then begin to think that you know institutions like the school the home the government even the church you know is no longer perfect and dependable okay so they're looking for somebody who can they can anchor in who's dependable strong and right and that is why you need to get them to be grounded in in Jesus that he is the way the truth and the life because for them the world around them is not perfect they're beginning to see it okay they're beginning to question it and they're looking for somebody who is perfect who is good who is telling them what to do and doing it themselves is very very important so I think it's the standard that we set as children's church teachers and ministers is very very important that we're not just teaching them but also living it through our lives so that they can see and they can even know and you know they can say hey here is somebody who is teaching us but also living it and I can also do it okay sorry one minute they are emotionally in a very turbulent face so they can be very moody so sometimes if they're moody they're not interested in speaking to you in class don't worry just let them be you know their peer groups is very very important for them so you know they need to belong to a gang or a group and so they're sitting together in their gangs and groups just let them be but ensure that they're not talking to each other and disturbing the class and even though they are having this Tom and Jerry kind of fights with their parents at home you know the Tom and Jerry show that happens at home and they might still angry with their parents their family is still their strongest social support it's a go-to group that you know go to place of refuge and security for teenagers okay so get them to build that strong relationship in the sense of helping them to see understand why their parents are doing things the way they are doing it okay so what can you do basically have fair rules don't dictate to them get them to you know have rules for themselves and expect them to stick to those rules and make agreements you know if they break it what is going to be the consequences is good okay don't criticize them for their looks so the way they dress very very important keep talking to them even if you're getting one word answers okay this age group basically they'll say yes no I don't feel like it I think so I don't think so you know it's okay I think that's the truth I don't think it's the truth and if you ask them why they don't think the truth they want to talk to you so even if it's just one word answers just keep talking to them because they are you they're waiting to hear from you and they will begin to analyze and think and reason out and we're teaching them God's word and the truth will set them sleep okay that is what we need to pray and work towards be as positive and encouraging as you can be and stay honest with them be very honest in the way you treat them care for them and you know appreciate them for their small achievements that they make and listen to their viewpoints and their opinions and also give them opportunity to reply and participate in any discussion even if it's going against what you are saying you know even if they totally disagree just be welcome or this is not being presented they're able to see it the presentation are you able to see the presentation okay for me it's gone okay so even if they're not able to you know sorry give them the opportunity to reply and participate in discussions okay so that was ages grade 8 to 10 any questions anyone has okay Divya says some kids then don't want to transition to young adult stage maybe they have some fears about it how can we help kids who experience such fears the the basic way we can do is talk about those fears you know and it's good to have teen sessions apart from just teaching them the the the children's search curriculum it's important to have teen sessions where you can talk about such fears and then like you said you know share your own life experience and they know that everyone hey everyone goes through this it's not just me you know so that's gonna be nice like we started our single adults meet up for those who were at APC for those are 30 plus you know those are married divorced you know widowed and unmarried 30 plus and you know first time we met most of them said hey when I heard others sharing what they're going through I realize that I'm not the only one so you know it's important for you to share and talk about things so that in present these things so they know that hey everybody goes through this is the face that everyone goes through it and you know there's help and I can get help and you know I can be prepared for the teenage years yeah so help Divya anyone else has any questions any doubts okay so we've finished developmental needs next class will begin looking at the different learning styles and then we'll move on from there okay thank you everyone for joining class today have a blessed day and blessed week ahead I'll see you on Friday for our class on Timothy thank you