 It's the phenomenon of the same soul. If you decide to be in surrender to source, this guy cannot go away from you. It's not possible. Actually, it's the same person. Can you imagine? It's just split into two bodies, but it's the same person. So that pain of separation is gone because you opened up into surrender. Thank you, sir. Namaskar. Tell me your name, please. Good afternoon. This is Amina. I met you in Tiruvannamalai, January 2nd. And I came here to Rishikesh to meet you again. So thank you very much. Since I met you, a lot of things changed in my mind and my behavior. For the past 15 years, I was so-and-so spiritual, quote-unquote. And my practice was very much negating life. I was thinking that to be spiritual is not wanting to live, not wanting to have a family, not wanting to make money, not wanting to enjoy life. Those things were so ingrained. I met with you in Tiruvannamalai, and I don't know something open up within me. And I am very much life-affirmative now. So I am kind of open to life, not scared as I used to be of living. And now my question is, since I met you, for the past four years, I had very strong connection to somebody. It was not even a crush. It was something that he was taking a hold of my life. And that person wasn't even interested in relationship or being with me or having anything. And after I met you, I wanted to make families and even have a child, then this person, in some level, it's confusing. I lost my clarity of happiness. I need your help. There is a type of relationship between a male and a female, which is a relationship that pushes each of the parties involved into deeper self-realization. It may not work on a romantic level. It may not work on a sexual level, but what it does is it pushes each one to themselves. That kind of relationship, and in the common parlance, it's called a twin-flame relationship. Actually, what it really is is a soul polarity relationship. It's like one soul in two people. It is a phenomenon. It's not something common. And what is generally to be observed in that, I don't know if that is the case with relationship. One, in your case, is that if the one is chasing after the other, on any level, without even speaking to the person, energetically, chasing or even thinking of the person, or even going towards them on any level, that one will run. The moment this one, in this case, you find yourself and start to feel connected with source, they'll start coming back. It is a phenomenon. I don't know if this is the case that you were chasing him. I was very sickly in love with this person. Every time I would think, I would tear his flow, just a very bizarre situation. It didn't make sense at the surface, to even for me, attracts it to be this person, but the attraction was so, and then COVID happened, and I couldn't see him for three years because he lives in India, and it was so painful for me. I went through many levels of mental health enduring those times, so, and then I came to India, and then it changed. This is a spiritual experience. It's something similar to what you would call the dark night of the ego. What happens is, is that back and forth between that person and yourself, pushes you increasingly towards yourself. The moment you are in a state where there is no more pain, the person will come back, but if for some reason you move into a dependency relationship or you start even a little bit chasing after that person, again they'll go. This is a specific type of relationship to teach you something specific, and that something specific is to be with source, with self, with the antar guru, with the master of the being, in complete surrender. You can even experiment and see the moment you let yourself go and you give in to him, he'll start running again. Until the day comes when you're very quietly sitting, and by the way, this is not a male-female thing, it can be that the male is the one who's chasing and the female is the one who's running. It is not a gender thing in that sense. It can happen even between two women, it can happen even between a human being and an animal. It's a soul-based thing. And what is happening is that these two polarities can only be near each other if you, in this case, you completely go into surrender. So it is a spiritual journey and it is some people, they may have a Kundalini disturbance and others have this kind of a thing. And it's very painful because probably you woke up every morning thinking of him, first thought in your mind, right? He was for the longest time like this, yes. And it was very, I couldn't understand it, like I couldn't justify it, there was no basis that... There's never a basis. The only basis for those kind of connections, because you know people, they ask me sometimes, oh, you know, I have a, I've met my twin flame and it's wonderful and it's romantic and we've been together for six months and it's every day is better. Ah, ah, it's not a twin flame. It's not a twin flame. A twin flame, and it's not even, it's just a name, given to this particular kind of phenomenon, that relationship only will work when that one party is completely sitting in surrender to soul. Until that point, this going and coming will happen. So it's very likely that if you get back together with him... I haven't been in a relationship with him, it's just, it's been always that yawning, extreme yawning. That's exactly what it is. Yes. And very, very often there is no sexual relationship. There's not even, sometimes there's not even more than a few words. It's a very insane thing. And it's a phenomenon that's growing around the world because people have not taken up a dharmic way of life, where they take up a daily spiritual quest naturally, where society teaches them to do that. Okay? You don't want to do that, then do it this way. And this is the new way of putting a person through that very, very dark night of the soul. People kill themselves because they can't handle that kind of pain. It's known. They actually take their lives because it's just too unbearable. You know, that yearning for that person. Sometimes it's a woman. Sometimes it's a man. Like comparing this to like a mother's yearning for a child. I was thinking maybe in some life he was my child. This is like in the deep level when I was sitting with myself it wasn't a lover yearning. You were like, it's my child that I lost it. Now I met here. Many people who have this experience also speak of that. And sometimes there's also a age difference, you know, which is significant. Yes. It's a clear case like that. Yes, yes. And there was another reason for my shock. Like why would I be interested with somebody so much younger than me? And that's the problem also. This age difference is something that is put into that mix because it makes it even more difficult. It makes it even more impossible. Which means you have to go towards yourself. You have to reach that truth in yourself or else that story will continue till you die unresolved. And it's not that you'll get even one hour of peace from it. Not even one hour. And you had peace because you went nicely sat in the soul after you came to Thiru and you know you found yourself. Yes. Turned up. The guy turned up. I mean it's a clear cut case like that. I'm seeing more and more of these stories around the world. And the way to deal with it is you have to bend and surrender. He will come to you if he's standing in front of you and talking to you, then you talk to him. But the thing is, the question is and that's what your question was. Who do you choose of the two? Yes. It's happened so spontaneously, so organically and somebody that I obsessed about for years. And I think obsessed is a mild word. Yes. This phenomenon is something which is, you know, many people have this question also. Should they stay with a soulmate or with somebody they get along with or should they actually go through the process with that other soul, the same soul and somehow hold together and see if it results in something. But if you are, for example, at an age where you want to have a child and that other person is some crazy which they generally are, then you also have to look at it from that point of view. Because there are many cases where the woman is much older. There are also cases where the man is much older. And then what happens is that she gives up motherhood because she's waiting for that guy to come back. Yes. And he just takes years because she's not coming back to, it's only if you go to your soul that your soul will be with you because it's the same soul. It's not something we know, we have 100,000% clarity about. But what it seems to be is it's a negative and positive polarity. So when that positive polarity is quiet, then it seems to be that that negative is there turning around it. The moment there's any sort of jitteriness, it's gone again. And you can't tie these people down. You can't because it's about your souls. It's about your spiritual journey to self. Yes. You have to sit in the quiet of the soul. And that is what I was telling you girls. I don't know where is Hannah, she's not here. Yeah, I was telling you girls that you can run after 100 boys and the boys can run after you. But if you want the man to turn up who's the right one with whom to have that child, that family, that relationship, you have to be quiet and surrender. Then he'll be standing in front of you and he'll be perfect. And this is still another story. This is not even a same soul story. So the choice that has to be made has to be made, of course, depending on the circumstances, you have to observe and see. You can also experiment with it and find out. Is it even good to be with somebody who has such a strong influence on you because it's like somebody who affects you to this extent. Is that even good? But the person doesn't affect you. Yes. That person is not affecting you. It is you who is affecting you. You are in control of the situation, not him. If you decide to be in surrender to source, this guy cannot go away from you. It's not possible. If it is a same soul relationship, to me it sounds very much like it. Yes. I didn't get my answer. I wanted like a yes or no answer. First you have to understand what that the process is. It's a spiritual process. Yes. So to me it seems like staying in this is a spiritual process. Yes. While going for the other relationship is actually growing up as a woman, actually knowing what's right for you? So there are cases where the person, either the man or the woman who is in your position, because the other person has no clue. Yes. They don't know anything. They are like a puppet on strings. Yes. If you're sitting quietly in yourself, they'll come. They can't, they have no choice, you understand? They have no choice. They have to come towards you and be around you. It's called being around you. It doesn't even have to be a relationship, but they cannot be away from you, even geographically. They will come geographically. It's an insane thing. They have to, they'll come closer. If you start to attach emotions to them, they'll go. If you pull back to your source, they'll come. It's a process that is nonstop like that until you're sitting quietly in surrender and then they'll be around permanently. But the moment you give into that thing, again it'll start. So your choice is between, there are people who finally choose a soulmate rather than a same soul story. It's a choice you have to make based on what, that deep. The thing is that the soul will, it's the same person. Actually it's the same person, can you imagine? It's just split into two bodies, but it's the same person. Sri Aurobindo and the mother, somewhere along the line, he says the mother and I are one. I mean this is not just some wild statement he's making at poetry. It is a case like that. They couldn't avoid being near each other and so they had to finally be near each other. Big age difference, all of these things. Going, coming, going, coming and finally, yes, okay. So it is a choice that, I cannot of course make that choice for you because also I don't know all the details of the circumstance and so on and I don't make choices for people. I show them how to make that choice and the way to do that is to first find out is this really a same soul situation? It's a phenomenon which occurs and it's occurring more and more. Just like the Kundalini disturbance, 100 years ago there weren't that many. Now there are because the ego has become that big that people have to be woken up either through the Kundalini disturbance or through this same soul phenomenon. Because say 200 years ago, take India, almost everybody was paired together based on the stars, on Jyoti Shastra. So there was perfection in those arrangements. It was not just, it was not about love. It was about everything else that kept people together and keep people together actually. Yes. Now there's no Jyoti Shastra, now there's this problem. So that pain of separation is gone because you opened up into surrender. If you remain in surrender, there's no pain of separation. The choice between who is the better one, it depends on many factors. You want to have a child with a man, there are certain common sense factors also. Is he capable of supporting you and the child? Is he physically strong? A weak man who can't support you physically, can't defend you is sometimes not, I mean it's possible but it's less safe. If you have kids, you need a strong man to protect. Even in a country where nothing terrible can happen, it's still important to have a strong man there at your side. So those are the factors also, right? It's a very, very horrible choice to have to make. But also you want to have a child, so you want that experience also, right? And I'm also afraid of, I don't want to go back to the same state of mind. You will go back to it if you move out of quiet. So what will happen? I'll tell you the way it will work out because I've seen it in many, many people now. So he will come, he'll be there, right? And he'll want to be with you. And it'll all be fine until the day comes when you start to get emotional about him, gone again. So you can't allow yourself to get emotional. You have to be in that quiet surrendered state at all times. Life is pushing you into that situation. It is to make you learn surrender. Same as with the Kundalini. Those who have a disturbed Kundalini, it's to make them bend in surrender because they haven't learned it any other way. Okay, then you learn it this way. So as long as you remain quiet and surrender, you'll be around the moment you start getting all emotional or you start thinking too much about him, he'll be gone again. And you'll be back in that state. The point is not about him, it's about you. You have to maintain a quiet state of being in surrender as you experienced when you were in Tiru and that's why he came back. In this very hall sitting here, I've told this to so many people and it works each and every time. It must be, and it's like spirals, you know? It's like you'll surrender a little bit, he'll show up. Then you'll fall out, you'll start getting emotional about him, he'll run. Then you'll go into a little bit less suffering than before. And again, you'll fall into that spiral, into that rut of emotional stuff. Again, he'll run. Then again, he'll come back because you found yourself again. And this process will go on until one day you're sitting quietly in self. Then he'll be around like a satellite. It's the phenomenon of the same soul. And if you have to make a choice between these two, then you have to consider various factors. Because if you're with one man but you're always thinking of the other, then... Yes. Take some time, you don't have to decide right away. Test it a little bit. See if I'm right. Okay. Thank you very much. Namaskaram.