 Riggly's Spear Mint Chewing Gum invites you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale. The makers of Riggly's Spear Mint Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And they like to mention the fact that they're a product. Riggly's Spear Mint Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Riggly's Spear Mint whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio or doing just about anything. Riggly's Spear Mint Gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now, Riggly's Spear Mint Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. Mamma mia! There's one thing the biggest cities have got that you know, finding the smaller towns. That's the neighborhoods where hundreds and hundreds of people are living all together. Mamma mia, there's so many people squeezing together, and in my block I think they should have called it Sardinia Street. But being close together makes everything so friendly. And interesting things just happen. For instance, this week I've been very much excited. Mr. and Mr. O'Reilly just to have a new little baby boy and they don't know what the name is to give him. Mr. O'Reilly, he wants it to name after his father and the grandfather, and Mrs. O'Reilly wants it to name after her father and the grandfather. But I'm thinking they should wait until they have three more boys and then they divide up all of the names. But anyway, little boy is going to get the Christmas, this is Sunday, and the O'Reilly's is to say anybody in the neighborhood to pick out a name is going to be God the Father. Mamma mia, imagine of me as a God the Father. Right away I'm going to become a man with a family and relatives. All O'Reilly's. Of course I'm going to have to learn how to make a mulligan of stew with a spaghetti and a meatball. But this I'm very happy to do just to be God the Father and to become a part of a family. At the least I'm not going to be bothered to become a part of another family but Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascuali. Hey Pascuali, what's a good name for a baby? Luigi, you're asking the right man. I got the best name in the world for a baby. Got it all picked out for a long time. Oh, good. What is it? Luigi Junior. No, Pascuali isn't after my baby. It better be. I brought you to America, I set you up for the business, I'll lend you money, any babies you have are my roses that got at the monopoly. No, Pascuali, you don't understand. I'm a want to be God the Father. Luigi, you don't understand. I'm a want to be a grandfather. Oh, come on, Luigi, marry my roses. Say yes, just once. No, what's it that you should have talked about, Pascuali? You know I can't marry roses. She's too fat for me. There it goes again, too fat. Look, I've just been reading some very important scientific stuff for Luigi. You know, they say stout to people a little longer than anybody else. Oh, really? Oh, sure, they got a theory here. It's called, uh, Survival of the Fattest. No, Pascuali, come on, please, I'll help you out there. The oralee, they're going to make me their Godfather if I'm the name of the baby. That's another theory I got from this magazine. Pascuali, how's it come all of a sudden that you read this so much? Oh, well, I had to go to the dentist for a cleaning. While I was there, I took home a couple of magazines. Anyway, I figure out you desire to become a Godfather is really in you unconsciously because you want to be a Papa. You mean I'm a want to marry Rosie because I'm unconsciously? No, no, no, that's the way you mind the works. Maybe I'd better explain it to you. You see, every head has got two parts inside. One is for when you're asleep and one is for when you're awake. I mean, you realize for you, you're using only the bachelor part of your head. But when you're asleep, you always say, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Then when I'm awake up, I say, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Luigi, imagine being the Papa with a little bambino that looks just like a Rosa. Well, I have to imagine a 250 pound of baby. Now, please, come on up, I'll help you with that. Let me see, now, you think he's a better Robin or a Mitch? Look, as far as I'm concerned, I don't care if you call him a stinky. Well, for that, I'm not going to talk to you no more. So, goodbye, I'm going to my night to school. They're going to help me. Goodbye. Looks like the only way I'm ever going to be a grandfather is to adopt a Luigi for a grandson. Now, let's find the school shelf, now. All right, class, quiet, please. Now, I'll call the roll. Mr. Basco. Present. Mr. Howard. Mr. Olsen. Present. Mr. Schultz. If I ain't a present, then who is? You smile, everybody. There's nothing like a good smile to delay the finance company another week. All right, Mr. Schultz. That will be enough. Now, let's get on with our lesson. I asked you to review your grammar rules and now we'll see how well you've studied. Mr. Howard, you may answer the first question. It is folding and a time. Fine. Now, correct this sentence. The bull and the cow is in the field. Certainly. The cow and the bull is in the field. The cow and the bull is in the field? Sure, ladies come poised. Well, that's not the right answer. The bull and the cow is in the field. Mr. Schultz, what's wrong? I know each other well, nothing. That's not thinking. I hope you have not included me in this folding because as usual I am ready with the correct answer. The cow can sit down. Now we are really going to hear some bulls. Go back to society. I come to school to learn not to make yokes and act like a foolish bull. This situation happens to be a serious matter with me and I like to feel that I am grasping the torch of learning from the past and carrying its light on into the future. What a cheap way to save on an electric bell. Mr. Schultz, it might be well for you to take Mr. Olson's advice. Before you give us the correct answer, Mr. Olson, let us hear from Mr. Baskow. Mr. Baskow, what is the correct answer? Patrick, a microtimetry. Mr. Baskow, I was talking about a bull and a cow. Yeah, Patrick, a microtimetry is all right for a bull but for a cow there's nothing better than Betsy. Now I'm sorry, Mr. Spaulding, but I'm just trying to find a name for the baby. Mr. Baskow, you're not even married. Oh, that's got nothing to do with it, Mr. Spaulding. What? I better explain, Mr. Spaulding. You see, the O'Reilly said, ask the entire neighborhood to volunteer a name for the little boy. And who should give it a best name? He's going to be the God of Father by the christening Sunday. More than anything else, I would like to be the God of Father. Well, that's all very nice, but Mr. Baskow, we must continue our grammar lesson. Now correct the sentence, the bull and the cow is in the field. Bull and a cow is in the field. Oh, bull and a cow, they in the field. No. They, they was in the field? No. Went in the field? No, no. Bull and a cow, cow and a bull. No, please, Mr. Spaulding, hang up and don't step on the grass sign so we can all go home, including the bull and the cow. Mr. Schultz, keep quiet. Mr. Olsen, you tell them. The bull and the cow are in the field. Ach, what's the difference? Either way, steak still costs a dollar and a half a pound. Mr. Schultz, repeat that sentence in its correct form. The bull and the cow are in the field. To howl it? The bull and the cow are in the field. Mr. Baskow? How's your alloicious? Luigi, you sure made Miss Spaulding get a little mad on you. I'm only trying to pick out a good name. Luigi, what is the difference what the boy's name? William Shakespeare once wrote, what's in a name? Any other name would smell as sweet. Maybe it don't make a difference to you, Olsen, but I would hate to have my boy called Rose O'Reilly. Friends, how you all got a nice name for your children? Well, Luigi, I named my boy Stephen. He was named after his grandfather, Sam, whose real name is Schleumann. Oh, then you met American, huh? Yeah, and we did the same thing. We named our boy Oliver after my wife's father, Olie, whose real name was Olsen. And a short, what about you? You also recognized your boy's name? Well, not exactly, Luigi. I got a girl and we named her after the delicatessen business. What? Yeah, we named her Sal, the short for salami. Schmeiler, we're just joking. Don't be so serious. One of us will come up with the best name. No, no, no, no. I'm going to get the best name because I'm going to be the godfather. You all have got a family. Not to me, sir. Goodbye. Luigi, where are you going? Aren't you joining us for coffee? No, I'm going to go home and think up a good name, sir. So, goodbye. Goodbye, Luigi. Luigi really takes that name business very seriously. Yeah, if there was only some way we could help out that little Viennese. Yeah. Oh, hold it. Wait. What's the matter, Olsen? I know just how we can make Luigi Vienn and become the godfather. You do? That's right. Oh, I have an idea. That's a lulu. A lulu? All right, already. Let's hear that lulu. Him and I could get seasick just saying that word. Well, listen, we tell everyone in the neighborhood not to show up at O'Reilly's house Saturday because a name has already been selected. You're saying that cuts out a lot of competition. But what about us? If we don't show up Luigi and O'Reilly will know that something is up. No, that's it. We go along and keep everyone else out. What about our names? We get the worst names we can think of. The worst? Yeah. I already got mine picked out. This, Mark. What do you think? Him and even the herrings are trying to live that one down. Olsen, for once in your life you did something smart. I can hardly wait to pick out a dandy for myself. And I'll have one little kill. But say, boys, you think it's fair for the O'Reilly child that we shouldn't even try? Oh, don't worry. Luigi will come up with something great. Yeah. And besides, what difference does it make what they name him? In America, no matter what your name is, everybody goes all through life calling everybody else, hey, you. Before we return to life with Luigi, we'd like to suggest that a stick of wriggly spear-mint gum is an ideal treat to enjoy after a meal. A lively, full-bodied, real spear-mint flavor freshens your taste and sweetens your breath. And the pleasant chewing aids digestion. So, whether you're eating at home or eating out, it's a good idea to have a package of delicious wriggly spear-mint chewing gum handy. Chew a stick after every meal. It's good. It's good for you. And it'll make mealtime more enjoyable. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in Italy. Well, Mamma Mia, in another couple of days, your alleys are going to name the little bambino. And if I'm not going to get a something a first, I'm not going to be the godfather. And that's going to be terrible. All day long, I'm thinking, how would it sound our lovely Italian names if I'm Americanizing them? Angelina would be Angel. But Angelas are not good because in America everybody's the name of their cakes, Angel. Then I'm going to try other names all day, but nothing has happened. Hello, Luigi. Oh, Mr. Riley, come in. Well, you got a name yet? No. No, not yet, but we're still hoping for a good one. Maybe you could come up with one, Luigi. We'd sure like to see you as the godfather. In fact, everybody in the neighborhood would. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Riley. You're very kind. How's the little bambino? Oh, fine, fine. A real healthy American, Luigi. And our doctor should know he's a very big pediatrician. Big what? Well, you know what a pediatrician is. Oh, sure. That's the fellow who's the fixer. No, no. No, that means he takes care of children. Oh, you mean he's the babysitter, huh? No. No, but as a matter of fact, that's why I'm here, Luigi. Would you do the Mrs. and me a big favor and sit with the baby tonight? I know it's an imposition. No, please. It's a privilege, Mr. Riley. I'm not only sit toward a baby, I'm not going to play with it. Oh, there's nothing like them. My wife and I plan to have a dozen. A dozen? Shame on you, that's all then. Well, I can see that we couldn't get anybody better to sit for us. We'll bring them here, Luigi. It'll be early. 6 p.m.? Fine. Mr. Riley, when you hear it, the right name for the boy, how are you going to know it's the right to win? Well, I think the minute we see or hear it, we'll just say, that's it. It'll just hit us. Well, what are you bringing the baby tonight, huh? You're sure you don't mind? Mind is, you give me the greatest chance anybody in the neighborhood. All night long, I'm going to try out the names on a baby and let him pick out the one he's the like the best. Oh, mommy, you look so beautiful, a little Riley sleeping in my bed. Angel, I'm here. Look at the way he's putting his little thumb in his mouth. But that's no good for him. Maybe I'm just going to bend it down and pull out the thumb. I'm here. Mommy, I should have never pulled out the stopper. So, please, don't cry, little Riley. Don't know I'm going to cry. All right, I'm going to push you back to the car. Good day. Oh, it's nice. Oh, it's nice. How, how do you like me a little baby? Huh? This is you going to be a little baby. How do you like that? I'm a proposed and he's accepted it. Listen, little Riley, you got to help me out now with the names I'm going to pick out for you. I'm going to try one. How do you like Robert? I don't know. I'm, I'm going to say Robert. Baby, don't give me any hints just to say yes or no. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please stop it. Please stop it. I'm, I'm in no minute to scare you. All right. I'm going to see you no care for Robert. Then how's about how's about the Oscar. All right. All right. No Oscar. No Oscar. Please. Please stop crying. Please. Please stop it. Hey, Louie, what's happening ahead? Just in a time. I'm a baby sitting for the O'Reilly's and maybe you're going to stop with McClellan, huh? Sure. Stop the baby. Stop. Calm down. Relax. Hello, Lili Bambino. Look, that's a Pasquale. Oh, that's got to, he's a likey. Look, look how he's smiling. Hey, that's because I got the type of brain that's made for babies. When a baby see me, they cool and when the birds see me, they sing. Oh, Pasquale, isn't that about it. You got a real bird of the brain. That's a funny thing. When I'm a sailor, it's a come out of different. Look, look, Pasquale, he's a nice baby, huh? You don't have to tell me how nice she'd have seen in my rosy whether she was a baby. I once took a rosy to a baby contest when she was only six months old. I held her up on a stage into my hands and you know what prize I got? Sure, the weight to lift in a prize. No, smart Alex, go ahead and talk. You just are trying to hide the fact that deep down you would like to have a baby to your own. Well, I would like to look at this little boy. If only he was your own, what a fun you could have with him. Look, baby, little baby, hold the Pasquale as a thumb. Go ahead. No, Pasquale, that's not the son of daddy. So what? How dirty can it get me? That's all right. I said, hold the Pasquale as a finger. Go ahead and bite. Baby's got a little teeth. Oh! I thought he's had the no teeth. Somebody must sharpen his the gums. Come on, come on, help me pick out a name for the boy. No matter what I'm asking, he's a no-liker. Hey, baby, how you like the name of Peter? Joe? So no, this kid ain't the snitch in the type. Hey, wait, I got a good name. Baby? Baby. Baby, how you like the name of Pasquale? I like the name of Pasquale. Look, look, look at what he started. What am I going to do? I know, Luigi. I know, Luigi. I'm going to call in a roast at the quiet in the dowel. Just the baby, just the baby. Just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby, just the baby. Well, baby, that's good. Are you here to say hello? You certainly never have a shot at him for the roast in all of the one time, Mr. Palps. You know, so we don't have to take you, come on, come on a roast. Well, little baby, there's a lot of excitement, huh? I know. Tell me, what do you think of a roast, huh? Mommy, But now's the time for you to go to sleep, you gotta go to sleep like a little baby. Look up there, see, that's the first star outside. That's nice, huh? Come on, I'm going to tuck you right in there, nice and tight. Look at that a beautiful star, huh? Starlight, star bright, first star I'm going to see tonight. I'm a wish, I'm a man, I'm a wish, I'm a mate. Have the wish, I'm a wish tonight. Mommy, I'm a wish, I got to the light tonight. Mr. O'Reilly, a beautiful party. Well, does anybody care for another cup of coffee? No, but I could go for another schnapps. Right you are, Mr. Horowitz. Maybe it'll help you come up with a good name. Whether I get one or not, I would like to make a toast. Good health and good friends to the little fellow. More you couldn't ask for, from a Horowitz to an O'Reilly. The greatest double-play combination a medic ever saw. Himmel, you left out Schultz on Sir Bayes. I'm Olsen at home. Olsen, we could always leave at home, yeah. Smile, Olsen, I was only kidding. Yeah, but how is about the names, Mr. O'Reilly? Well, I expected more people to show up, but I suppose Saturday night's a busy one. Good, then I will start. My name for the boy is this, Mark. What? You don't like it? No. Oh, gee, that's too bad. Well, Horowitz, that's your turn. My name for the boy is Montmorency. Montmorency? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it. I like it because, well, it flows. Horowitz, open the door and let it flow out of the room. Well, here's my name. Breckenbridge X. What's the X for? You see, I left for the baby a loophole until he learns to write his full name. He just writes the X. You like it? No, I'm afraid not. Oh, I feel terrible, then. Well, Luigi, you've been so quiet. I bet you you got just the name, you lucky pop. Well, I've been thinking all the time, but... Uh-huh. No, I'm not that... No name at all. What? I'm a kind of thinker. I have a wonder name, I'm like a better than anything. Well, then, my wife and I think we'll use the name selected by a cousin of ours, Gregory. Gregory? Well, what a name, Gregory. Mr. O'Reilly, that's all right for Peck, but not for O'Reilly. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Besides, in all contests, you're not allowed to have people working for the company or relatives. Luigi, ain't you got a name? No, I don't. Well, Gregory's not exactly what we wanted, but it's a good American name, and it'll have to do. Come on, come on, just a minute, just a minute. Come on, come on. Who I am, I'm not thought of it all the time. I'm just a guy with a name. What the hell? Here, I'm gonna write it down. Here. What do you think? Hey, hey, Kathy, Kathy, look at this. Oh, it's wonderful. That's the name for us. Please let me see it. Luigi. Ah, Himmel, only Luigi could think of it. Yeah. Oh, oh. Oh, and then it goes together, just perfect. Here, hold it. Thanks. Oh, my. It's beautiful. Luigi, Luigi, let me hear you say it. He meant it. He meant it's a... it's gonna be the baby's name. Yes, and you're the godfather. Now, let's hear how it sounds. All right. The baby's name is gonna be... America or Riley. Mamma Mia. Isn't that a beautiful name? America or Riley? How is it just to roll off of the tongue? America or Riley? And how is it also to roll off of the tongue? Luigi, Vasco, godfather. Oh, I'm feeling so, so good, Mamma Mia. And you know, funny is the thing, Mamma Mia, I'm picked out of America because it's a perfect American name. And then I guess what? British boy or Riley is a guard Italian and I'm after all... Sure, that's right. America is a come from the world's greatest explorer. Sure. America's the best butchie. He'll have a son, Luigi, Vasco, little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they'd like to remind you that Wrigley's Spearmint Gum gives you long-lasting enjoyment at very little cost. It's really satisfying. And the smooth, good chewing adds fun to whatever you're doing. Help keep your teeth bright and attractive, too. So do as millions of people do. Enjoy chewing Wrigley's Spearmint Gum often, every day. You'll enjoy the flavor, you'll enjoy the chewing. Next time you go to the store, get a few packages of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at the same time, Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his Mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Sy Howard production that is directed by Mack Benhoff. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Derman. This is the CBS Radio Network.