 It's true. The percentage of households who have kids that are dual career is higher now than it has ever been, even with what we saw in the pandemic of many women stepping out of the workforce. And so hopefully, you have had some conversations before you added in kids and, you know, career decisions to have be on the same page about what you want. If both people are very intent on pursuing a career alongside having kids or even if you don't have kids, other priorities, right? People want to be the best aunts and uncles as possible. They might have caregiving responsibilities for older parents or other relatives. So ideally, you've had these discussions early on. But if not, then I think it's important to start as soon as you can to talk about what are all the elements that go into running a house and a family if you have kids or other caregiving responsibilities. We have an exercise in the book that was actually adapted from one that Myra used to give in her course, which was, she used to call it a bargaining exercise that listed, you know, a handful, maybe 10 to 15 tasks that are involved in running a household and family life. And she put that in actually, because a lot of the students in her class grew up, exactly as you mentioned, not, you know, seeing either one parent handle everything, or if they were from a different country, they had help who was were handling all those things. And so coming now to the situation where you're being asked to divide things up equally, it's like, Well, how does that work? I mean, how do so having a having these conversations to say, Hey, first of all, what's important to us? Let's again, back to the clarify, if it's not important to us that our kids go to every birthday party they're invited to, let's cross that off the list. Let's just say like, you can choose one friend, you who is, you know, the friend whose birthday party you don't want to miss. And then we're going to say, No, thank you to all the other ones. I remember when somebody said that that was their approach, it was like, Oh, my God, you can do that. Like I hadn't, it hadn't occurred to me that you could just decline. But again, if you don't want to spend every weekend, I have two elementary school kids, right, I could spend every weekend, you know, dragging myself to party after party. And the truth is, as a family, we're much happier when we're hiking. And so we have to actually clarify that value to be able to say no to things, and then be able to cross things off of those short lists. And the exercise that we talk about is helpful to do, you know, certainly if you don't have any kids, we did it in the class with a partner. And the truth is, when you make different incomes, when you have other circumstances, you know, there are different dynamics that you need to negotiate. So having those conversations early and then checking in my husband, I have a check in every week on sort of how are we dividing the pickups, the drop offs, the, you know, other things that come up, what are we going to let go of, right? And then we have, you know, we try to have, we aren't always as consistent every year, but like at least an annual bigger picture check in of, okay, what is feeling, is everything feeling equitable? And we used to actually go through this on the drive down to Palo Alto to be in Myers class to say, Oh, we're about to talk about our marriage in front of, you know, students. So can we just check it on that? So no surprises come out in the class. And that was actually resulted in some of the read some redistribution of, of tasks that, you know, maybe I was taking on, but feeling resentful. And, and he was like, Oh, okay, well, I can do this. And actually, this happened when I went back to work, after we had our first son, and I wanted to nurse as much as I could. And that meant pumping at work. And I was in a new job. I was pumping three times a day while I was at work. And then I would come home. And I was like, I just, this is absurd. I have all these parts that have to be cleaned. And like, you know, it was very intense. And he said, Okay, you're feeding him. So I will feed us. And he actually took all of the food on. So the shopping, the meal prep, the, like, you know, preparing the food, and, and just knowing that I didn't have to think about food for anyone other than my infant was so freeing. And so that could be a really powerful thing to do regularly, especially as you're in different phases of life. And as you said, career opportunities come up. And that might mean someone's less available than they were. And so not just going through with a simmering resentment that could build into something, you know, more problematic, but having a regular check-in where you talk about how things are going and what might be redistributed.