 When the narcissist wants a relationship the narcissist hides behind their false self Their deceptive outward appearance and they use it to manipulate people So that they can get their needs met Their manipulation is dependent on whether or not you believe in what they're displaying to you That is the only way that you will be susceptible to their manipulation They constructed their false self a very long time ago This isn't something that they developed just before they met you They have perfected it over a very long period of time They constructed this false character So that they would be able to attract people like yourself People who are attractive and successful People who are concerned more with the needs and wishes of others Rather than with their own If you display these types of qualities to them They will want to lock you down They will want to keep you in a state of isolation or restricted access And they will want to do this as soon as they possibly can They know that the more time they are around you The more opportunities there are for their mask to slip The more chances you get to see who they really are So they want to lock you down Before you get the chance to see their mask slip The narcissist takes on the qualities and traits that attracted them to you They mirror them and reflect them back to you Making you believe that you have met your match It makes you feel like you should be with this person It makes you feel like you would be making a big mistake if you were to let them go They are very accommodating Very willing to fit in with your wishes or needs They are always in agreement with you and they are very understanding of any faults or mistakes that you might make They make you believe that this is the greatest opportunity of your life This is as good as it gets And you won't find anything better in anyone else They do this to try to restrict your freedom of action To get you to devote yourself to them To be in a relationship with them But the narcissist has their own ideas and beliefs of what a relationship is In their minds they believe that you should commit to them They want you to give up your wishes or needs for the sake of what they want What they expect you to be While giving you the bare minimum or nothing in return They want you to give up everything to be their nothing They want you to admire them They want you to support them But while you're doing all of this and trying to build a connection with them They will not be developing an attachment to you They only care about their own self-interest and needs They don't care about you They don't respect you They are self-absorbed and lack empathy They lack the ability to understand and share your feelings Because they are too preoccupied with their own self-interest and needs Which is why they cannot develop a connection or bond with you And they are fully aware of this They are not interested in developing an attachment to you Because they are not interested in understanding or sharing your feelings They want you to be attached to them So that you can then cater to their wishes and needs That is why time will go by And you will feel like they don't know anything about you Because they never took the time to get to know you They never gave you the opportunity to open up to them Because they were never really interested in you They never really cared or respected you They were just using you to meet their needs Using you to regulate their emotions And boost their full sense of self-worth, self-esteem and self-importance And when you start to wake up When you start to realise what you're involved in When you start to realise that you are never in a relationship It was just a transaction That is when they begin to devalue and degrade you That is when they try to make you believe That you're not good enough for them But it's only because you are no longer validating their false self And the illusions that they are trying to portray Which is causing them to feel worthless and insignificant So they have to construct this alternate reality Where you are now beneath them To boost their false sense of worth If they can get you to believe it It makes it more believable for them Once you realise that the false self isn't real Once you have accepted that it never existed It can be a very difficult time to go through It almost feels like someone has died You begin to feel regret or sadness About the loss or disappearance of the false self They mirrored your qualities and traits Your likes and interests The very things that attracted them to you Which soon became the very things They began to devalue and degrade Because they couldn't partake and get the same fulfilment And it began to reflect on them And reveal something about them which they were trying to hide So they began to hate it They began to envy the things about you That once attracted them to you And they tried to destroy it Or take it away from you Because in their minds It was only taking you away from them It was only stealing your time and energy Which should have been reserved for them The narcissist doesn't want a real relationship with you They don't want a balanced, healthy relationship Where you are both feeling comfortable and supported They don't want you to have your own independence They want to have full control over you So that they can use you to support them And meet their needs That's all they're really about They don't care about making you happy They just want someone to regulate their emotions And support their false sense of superiority Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Culture inquiries you can email me at narksoverecoaching at gmail.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon