 Me and pretty much everyone else here we don't have a really a lot of just like time down time there's a lot of activity and You know, I can see that there's Has been the sound of my mind like I need time to Like I want to read I just want to be in stillness or whatever and it just kind of seems like there are Oftentimes stretches of days where it just that just doesn't come in You know, and so it's like this idea in my mind I could see how it's playing out like this idea of sacrifice or resisting then when I would be called upon to do something and I can even see this thought in my mind like well if I'm just really you know If I'm really in my function, then somehow I will be rewarded later on well I will have like hermitage or whatever. I think what I'm starting to realize Somehow dividing it up into like my time with the Holy Spirit Let's just say and the time of the task is actually the same thing whether it seems that I'm active or Yeah, it's very common I friend Dorothy and I used to talk about that because because remember anything that involves duality Is part of the egos defense mechanism? So that you're describing a very common thing my time their time Oftentimes people talk about it because they believe they have to work for living. That's their time I'm on the clock and I'm at the at the job whether it's you work out of home or there It's it's a division in the mind my time their time or my even Even in relationships my time your time, you know, okay We'll do this on your time, but on my time you have to do what I want and it's many variations of it and it's it's truly there's no joy in that perception and and I would say that I Experimented with that a lot too because that was one of those dichotomies Early on for me where it's like okay. I'll do this this this and I'll be used and use and use and then then I'll get When it's time to relax One beer stands clear Miller beer, you know, it's it's all these ads that we see in the football games You know, which is all about like taking your time like you worked hard You know and now it's time to have some my time, you know to relax it's so deeply ingrained and Even when you get into spirituality instead of my time their time now, it's my time and Holy Spirit's time You know, like is that enough did I do enough? Is that enough, you know, there's still like there's something above that's what watching or counting the funny thing was I'd be Being used in many ways and then when I would have what I call downtime or relax time or this and this Then the monkey mind was Was really going I mean I just wanted to be still and the body got still and the body could Slow the breath down and get in a posture and and then you know, it's like it felt Even more unproductive and I'm sure Ramana Maharshi had to go through this, you know, it's great and later part of his life He was just this radiant glowing being