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Published on Jul 6, 2013
Suck it radical right and your war against women. A classic re-imagined for the Texas Legislature 2013 Special Session:
I'm a bad bill I'm a really bad bill And I'm comin' after more than your pill Well it's from Texas to Ohio And in North Carolina It's a war on women And a battle for vagina Sharia isn't too far away You better hope and pray that I will Stay right here as nothing more than a bill
Boy: Gee bill, you sure could be a pain in the uterus for women.
Bill: Well you got that right. Pain in the uterus, ovaries. Hell, when I started, I wasn't even a bill, I was just a bad idea. But some folks think it's the 1950s all up in here. If they had their way it'd be the 1850s! They like to call that the good old days. With women barefoot, pregnant, no vote... you know, baby vessels. The way god intended!
I'm a bad bill I'm a really bad bill Owning your uterus just gives 'em a thrill Well now they'll tell ya how to use it For how long and how many They'll be in charge of your vagina and you know there won't be any Decisions that belong to you Well some hope and pray that they will Limit rights and instill their god's will
Boy: Listen to those legislators arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?
Bill: If you could even call it a debate. Let me give you the short version, kid: ladies, keep your legs and your mouth shut. They sure as shit aren't listening to women on this one.
Bill: Yeah, women. You know, people. With rights. Whoa! They're railroading this thing! Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they vote on me.
Boy: If they vote yes, what happens?
Bill: Then we're one step closer to theocracy.
Boy: Oh no!
Bill: Oh yes!
I'm a bad bill I'm a really bad bill And if they vote for me I think I'll be ill Well, then I'm off to Rick Perry You know he wants to sign I'm red meat for the base Oops! he must have lost his mind If he signs me, then I'll be a law How I hope and pray Wendy will Stand up tall so I stay just a bill
Boy: You mean if Wendy Davis filibusters again we can keep you from becoming a law?
Bill: Not likely. And don't count on a veto. You see right-wing politicians everywhere are coming up with new ways to wage a war on women. This could go to the U.S. Congress and even back to the Supreme Court. I thought we worked this shit out years ago!
That's why I explain that I will Be a pain I am still a bad bill
Congressman: He signed you, Bill! Now you're a law!