 What's up guys, EvilDeer here! So today's story is going to be like a cautionary tale about one of my trips in China and why you should stay away from freaking Chinese wine because it's freaking dangerous. Anyway, to the story! So this all happened probably a few years back when I was traveling to China for the first time with my Mrs. We were actually there to meet her parents because like suddenly her daughter traveled overseas and married this white guy you know like so I had to kind of travel back and meet them for the first time. Anyway, so we met them and we're traveling around China at the same time. We stop off in this like little tiny Chinese city. I forget the name of it, but it's kind of like a Chinese Venice. That's probably the best way to put it because it's got all these like little canals going through all these really old like brick or not really brick but like stone traditional buildings and little bridges going over everywhere and people in these old boats you know pushing along type of thing. You know the traditional Venice look but just add China on top. So yeah, we stop in this little town oh little city and we get this hotel and this hotel is just kind of like jammed between these other old buildings and we go inside we're not expecting much we go up to our room and our room opens up and it's a small little room it's like little bricks and stuff you know brick walls like this window to like a wall from another building like nothing special there but I had this like really old traditional like wooden carved bed you know it looked probably about 300 years old I swear it was like not one of those fakes it was full on traditional and the best way to probably explain is like imagine like a bed from like Game of Thrones or The Tudors or something like that because you know like scrolling curtains and stuff but anyway this story isn't about a bed so moving along. So we settled down this hotel we're planning to go out for the night because it was actually Chinese New Year's Eve and this is like a really big event for the Chinese it lasts like a week but anyway so we're planning to go out for the night explore the city but that plan changed because the hotel owner came in and he actually invited us to dinner with his family and apparently this is something he did for like people in his hotel which only had like probably four rooms but it was kind of like a traditional for him so we're like yeah why not we'd love to see how you guys live a type of thing because even my missus isn't from this part of China it's completely different to it so we we accepted the offer and we went down we left the hotel over this tiny little bridge over the canal and there it is that's his house and his house is not like a stereotypical house is the front of it doesn't even look like house it's just a giant wooden gate and it's like opens up into a big open courtyard with this table in the middle just looking up at the stars like the most magical type of house setup you could want so we go sit down at this table there's a bunch of other Chinese people there I'm assuming hotel guests and some family members um they're all speaking Mandarin I'm attempting to speak Mandarin like my Mandarin is terrible but I'm getting some words across I'm making people laugh maybe because my stupidity or because my bad pronunciation I don't know but it worked out for me so anyway the hotel owner host dude he comes along well that's not a bad he comes along he's got a wine bottle on his hand he puts it down on the table and he's looking at me he's like you know let's let's drink type of thing this is this is a festival we're gonna we're gonna get drunk and you know I'm Australian man I can handle my alcohol well well we're well renowned for our ability to take on alcohol with a fist and smash it well Australians are really going to try you know Chinese wine if you want to keep that title because he just he'd like poured some for him and some for me and I'm like yeah whatever and I'll talk it and it's like type of thing because my face is suddenly on fire and this stuff is so potent like it's powerful stuff but like I don't know how to explain it there is an Australian version of this wine that's equal to this so anyway I take it I'm like my faces will mongrel like yeah not bad you know it's okay and then he's like okay cool let me pause himself and I'm one pause me and I want him like oh my god that was probably the wrong move so you know take it down because it's only like this small little like shot like glasses like they're not glasses but they're like tea cups you know like if you go to a Chinese shop to get those little tea cup type of wooden thing yeah whatever anyway so we we're taking that down and the bottle slowly going and slowly getting to the bottom like come on let's just get rid of that last drop I'm over this stuff my face is like burning stuff starting to get blurry I swear to god I saw a dragon run by all that might have been a god in costume I don't know but anyway so the bottle's getting low and we're both getting a bit tipsy here like probably mean more so than him but we finished the wine bottle I'm like ah yes thank god for that I can just enjoy the rest of the night with a little bit of a smile on my face but then he reaches across and I hadn't noticed but the whole time there's this giant wooden like I don't know like a case and he opens it up and it's just fucking filled with wine bottles like just wine bottles everywhere he just grabs enough off a smile and goes and gives it to me and I'm like oh god no so we drink that we're getting about halfway through that wine bottle I swear he's drinking more than me because I'm slowing down at this stage and we're both like you know like never sort of speaking a real language at this stage and finally he like I said that he went first but it's probably not true he decided that was enough he put down the bottle he'd be pushed to the side and he's like let's just you know laugh about everything in life you know us trying to communicate in drunk language probably only real international language now so that's finally over and I'm like yep good done let's move on with our lives and suddenly I hear as those giant wooden doors just open up and I see this guy walking like massive silhouette of light behind him giant Chinese freaking guy like look like he'd been like eating other people for a living and he looks around the table sees me he's obviously not seen a white guy in a very long time probably never maybe on advertising something and goes buy sir die which is like white in Chinese you know like he probably said something else but that's all I really caught at that point and he's pointing at me and he just come boom boom down at the table pushes everyone aside pulls in this chair out of I don't even know where the chair came from it could have came from him for all I know he could have brought it with him but he sits down in this chair directly opposite me grabs that wine bottle and just goes tooth tooth let's drink so I'm like oh god I've got a represent man I gotta I gotta show these people what Australian is made of you know so we're drinking away and we get to the end of that bottle by now I'm plastered man I don't remember really what happened from here I've got vague memories but my missus kind of fills in the rest so apparently after this we've both finished that bottle he was already quite tipsy because he'd been apparently smashing into random houses all on the street and doing the same thing so my missus is like let's just go outside and explore the city and see the fireworks now the Chinese have they don't really shoot fireworks up in the sky they got these ones that they throw on the crown across the ground they kind of explode so these little things are going off everywhere and I'm drunk and I'm like type of thing like I feel like you know I got shell shot from my military day someone's attacking me but no not that bad but anyway so this is the worst part you don't you don't get drunk in this tiny little Venice style city because there's suddenly all these little canals everywhere and what seemed quite simple to cross before became this intricate maze of just evilness because I'm like oh there's water there you know type of thing and apparently what happened is all these Chinese like people they put like these little like paper boats on the water and all floats down through the canals and I'm sitting here on the edge of the canal like a cat that's looking at a mouse going trying to grab these freaking paper boats as they're floating by and my missus kind of dragged me back in because I'm slowly just getting closer to the water going oh because I'm probably like falling in or something but she drags me away and then for the rest of the night I end up just sitting near my phone going taking pictures of like the smog in the sky and nothing really old so just blurry images because I can tell I still I've got a few of the photos to lose just blurry colors and at that point she's like no no no this is enough for you I don't want to be responsible for a dead white guy in China and you know they really looked down upon tourist dying here so she decided to take me back to the hotel room and put me on the bed she says she put me on the bed but I don't believe it because for some reason I wake up the next day of a really sore shoulder on the cold floor in the corner going oh what happened with my life and then I just noticed all these really bad pictures of me going my nipples and stuff from the night before so anyway that was my cautionary tale about Chinese wine I don't know if that's all Chinese wine but this particular brand or whatever so if you end up in the water city in China just stay away from that stuff especially on Chinese new years so anyway that's the end of the video I've rambled on enough if you like this video please share it around I love I love seeing new people come in and leave me random comments like you're freaking crazy man so yeah share it around and I hope to see you in the next video and if I don't well you won't be having any wine with me now will you