 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of the famous Philadelphia brand cream cheese. Philadelphia brand is far and away America's favorite cream cheese. That's because it's so creamy white, so delicately rich, and so fresh tasting. But remember there's only one Philadelphia cream cheese. It's the brand that's made by Kraft and guaranteed fresh. So when you buy cream cheese always look for the name Philadelphia brand right on each silvery package. In the summer field the early morning sun shines warm and friendly across the water commissioner's desk. Outside the birds are singing the grasses sending tender shoots through the soil. And it's the kind of day when the average man has spring fever. And being a big man, the Great Gilder Sleeve naturally has a little more than average. Oh no Bessie, while you're resting you might bring me the morning paper. Oh I thought you'd read it. I did Bessie but I want to put it under my feet. The mayor always gets upset when he sees scratches on top of my desk. Would you mind waiting one second? I'm reading about the whistling bandit. Whistling bandit? They say he's the most dangerous criminal since Dillinger. He struck again Mr. Gilder Sleeve. He robbed the post office in Dexter. Dexter? So he's getting pretty close. And how did they know it was the whistling bandit? Well as he left with the money the watchman heard him whistling pennies from heaven. That's his theme song. Theme song? Oh my goodness. What a bandit won't do these days for publicity. My boyfriend says that the police don't catch him soon. He's going to have that song back on the hip parade. Well if I ever ran into him he'd change his tune. Now Bessie, give me the paper and put your nose to the grindstone. Yes, sir. Whistling bandit. What won't they think of next? Gilder Sleeve. Oh good morning Mayor Twilliger. Good morning Bessie. Well Mr. Mayor, come in. Thank you. At Gilder Sleeve there's little something I think you'll enjoy doing. Oh? I just had a telephone call from the Game Warden and the fish are biting like mad up at Lake Chester. They are? Well, well. But I don't think I should take his word for it Gilder Sleeve. It just occurred to me that the Mayor and one of his commissioners who loves the sport should go up there and do some angling. Well I'm a pretty good angler. You can count on me. Good. Then the police commissioner and I can go fishing. Sure. The police commissioner. Why do you wouldn't mind assuming Armstrong's duties for a few days? But Mr. Mayor, I thought... Now Gilder Sleeve of all the city commissioners you're the most logical one to leave in charge of his department. I am? Since you seem to have so little to do in your own department. If you look in on Armstrong's office once a day, that'll be sufficient. I'll go ahead and finish reading your newspaper. Oh, Gilder Sleeve. Yes? Of course there's no extra salary in this for you, but we'll bring you our fish. Oh, thank you. Very nice. I hope he falls in the lake, the old halibut. If I had to do the police commissioner's work too, I may not even go to his office. I'm not going to let the Mayor push me around. Come on on. Time for supper. Go ahead, Leroy. I'm not very hungry. What's the matter? Well, the Mayor is overworking your poor old Uncle Leroy. At the water department? Are you kidding? Leroy? That's not to be disrespectful. There's plenty to do down there. The Mayor came in today and left me in charge of another department. Yeah? You in charge of streets and sewers again? Leroy? Hello, Uncle. Hello, Marjorie. Congratulations. Congratulations? For what? For being appointed acting police commissioner. Police commissioner? Gee, I didn't know that was it, Uncle. Well, Leroy, it's nothing but extra work and no pay, except maybe a fish. Well, it sounds very important to me, Yankee. Here it is in the evening paper. It is? Today, Mr. Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, popular city water commissioner, was appointed acting police commissioner. Well, I didn't think they'd put it in the paper. The Mayor, before leaving with Commissioner Armstrong on a business trip... Business trip. ...stated to the press that he could think of no one who would make a more capable police commissioner than Mr. Gildersleeve. He did? Leroy, go see if the paper boy on the corner has any extra copies. Okay, Uncle. Do? Well, he's head of all the police. Yes, I most certainly am. Oh! Little Leroy. When do you take over your new duties, Uncle Mort? First thing in the morning, my dear. Ain't nobody going to come any... We're all excited, Birdie. Uncle Mort's been appointed police commissioner. Police commissioner? Of course, I'm still a water commissioner, too. Yes, sir. But you mean you head of all the police? That's right, Birdie. Police commissioner. Birdie, what are you laughing at? I just wait till the law whistles at me for Jay walking again. What's this? I say, don't talk to me. Tell it to the police commissioner. No, Birdie. And wait till they tell me to keep the cans out of alley. And I say, don't talk to me. Tell it to the police commissioner. Birdie, let's not take advantage of this thing. And if one of them fellas ever tells me I'm burning rubbish at the wrong time, you know what I won't tell Mr. Kilsie? What, Birdie? I say, don't talk to me, commissioner. I mean, police commissioner. This is his office, I guess. Police commissioner Armstrong on the door. I wonder if I shouldn't have that changed. No, not just for a couple of days. Good morning. Young man, what are you doing in this office at 9 o'clock in the morning? Oh, I work here. Oh. I'm assistant to police commissioner Armstrong. What's your name? Armstrong. Oh? I'm a relative. Yeah, relative. Well, Armstrong, I'm the new police commissioner. Yes, I know. Now then, where's the commissioner's desk? Everything's taken care of, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. If anything comes up, I'll call you at the water department. The water department? Not so fast relative, Armstrong. I was appointed police commissioner to operate from here. Okay. And Armstrong. I've asked police chief Gates to come over here this morning and report. Report what, sir? Well, crime. Oh. So send him in. Nice office here. Quite an arsenal in this cabinet. Yes, sir. That's the display of all the weapons used by the police force. Very impressive. What's this on the desk? Well, a gold badge. Oh, that belongs to commissioner Armstrong. I'd better pick it up and lock it up. Never mind. Well, I think I'll pin it on. Anybody home? Hello, Judge. Good morning, Gilder. Well, are you giving yourself a medal already for your work in the police department? I'm pinning on my badge, Judge. Well, don't puncture yourself, Gilder. A big balloon like you might explode. All right, Hooker. What's on your mind? I'm very busy. Well, I'll only take a minute because I'm double parked downstairs, but I just have to run up and verify my suspicion. What suspicion? That you're neglecting your regular job for this chance to play policeman. Now, Judge... I thought this was your busy day at the water department, Gilder, with all the end-of-the-month collections coming in. Well, if any crimes come in, they'll need me here, too. Oh, Balderdash, Gilder. The biggest crime in this town is the way you run that water department and you know it. Watch it, Judge. If someone violated the law, you wouldn't know what to do anyway. Oh, wouldn't I? Well, good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, Chief. Hello, Chief. You're just in time. What's up, Mr. Commissioner? Do you have some heels you want me to run down? Ho, ho, ho. You bet I've got a heel, and I want you to arrest him. What? Chief? Judge Hooker just informed me that there's a car downstairs double parked. But, Gilder, that's my car. Give him a ticket, Chief. But, Mr. Gilder's asleep. He's the judge. The ignorance of the law is no excuse. Give him a ticket. I knew I was gonna like this job. I've covered the town pretty well this morning. I got a whole notebook full of changes to make in the police department. Better take time out for lunch, though. Oop, look at that woman crossing the street on a red light. Good thing I've brought this police whistle. Don't you go and tootin' that whistle at me, miss. Yeah, hello. Hey, Birdie, I didn't know it was you. I'll get you that car, bitch. Now, Birdie, let's wait for the light to change. I've been waitin' here just like everybody else, but nothing happened. What do you mean? The light stuck on red. Oh, my goodness. What kind of a police department has Chief Gates run here? Well, I guess the commissioner will have to get out there and direct traffic. All right, everybody. Stop. Move. Walt. What can I do for you? Well, I worked up quite an appetite this morning. May I look at your menu? Well, if you want to. What? Looks just like it did yesterday. Oh. Well, uh, you might give me a Denver sandwich. That's a good direction. I had a nice compliment on our Denver sandwich today. That's all? Traveling man from Denver. Uh... Hurry up with the sandwich, Peavey. You better give me a double scoop of potato salad and a double mauled milk. My, my. Well, if I'm gonna be a policeman, I may as well eat like one. How's that? Don't tell me you haven't read the paper, Peavey. I didn't tell you I hadn't read the paper. Well, it didn't anything... Catch your eye? Yes, uh, Daisy May. It's quite a girl. Daisy May, Peavey, I wasn't thinking of the comics. I was referring to an article about me being police commissioner. Well, if you read what you think is funny, I'll read what I think is funny. Peavey, I'll have you know that I'm in charge of the whole police department for a few days. You don't say. You bet. I've taken over. Imagine you have. What? Congratulations, Mr. Kelly. Well, thank you. You know what I've done on my first date? Gilly, I've been looking all over for you. Hello, Judge. The first thing I did, Peavey, was to set Chief Gates straight on a few things. Gilly, listen to me for a minute. Judge, stop worrying about your traffic ticket. I can give them out and I can tear them up. That's not it, Gilly. Go on, my coach, leave. I'm talking to Peavey. Well, are you telling him about the whistling bandit? Don't you worry about the whistling bandit. Nobody's gonna get away with anything while I'm in charge. Gilly, what is it, Judge? The whistling bandit has struck Summerfield. Huh? He's strutting around directing traffic. Oh, my goodness. My, my. I better get out of here. Judge, what did he rob? That's what I've been trying to tell you. He robbed the safe at your water department. Oh! He can't do that to me. Well, I wouldn't say that. Ladies, have you seen the tempting new gold nugget salad pictured in the current magazines? 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Look for the name on that famous silvery package, Philadelphia brand cream cheese guaranteed fresh by Kraft. Well, the day the Great Gilder Sleeve became temporary police commissioner, the dreaded whistling bandit struck Summerfield. This is particularly embarrassing to our hero since the bandit's first target was the water department. Now the great man and his secretary are in the office trying to figure out just how it happened. Bessie, where were you when the safe was robbed? Me? I was down having a malted milk. Oh, Bessie, one of these days you're going to turn into a malted milk. I hope it's chocolate. Let's be serious, Bessie. You shouldn't have left the office. But it was my lunch hour, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. You always told me if you weren't back by 12, just to leave the door open. I did? Well... Commissioner Gilder Sleeve. Hello, Chief. I've been waiting for you. Hello, Chief Gates. Hello, Bessie. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, have you seen the extra on the streets? Extra? Listen to this. Bandit Rob's water department, while new commissioner has Chief of Police up a pole fixing traffic light. What's this? Mr. Gilder Sleeve, when a robbery is committed, up a pole is a very embarrassing place for the Chief to be. Now, Chief, you put the department on quite a spot. This isn't good publicity for us. Well, it isn't good publicity for me either. It is for me. The newspapers took my picture. Please, Bessie. Well, Chief, what are you going to do about this? What am I going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? What? You know so much about running the department. Run it. But, Chief, I need your help. I don't know why you'd ask the Chief of Police for help. All I'm good for is to shinny up poles and fix traffic lights. I know that, but... Oh, you do. Good day, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Thank you, Chief. Come back. Put yourself into this. Let's see you get out of it. I don't know what the Chief is so excited about. The papers say wonderful things about you, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. They do? Yes, sir. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, what's a keystone cop? Oh, my goodness. I've been trying to get in touch with you, Chief. Well, I was in Gilder Sleeve's office. What's up, Armstrong? Well, I telephoned the sheriff in Dexter and got some information on the whistling bandit. He's a smart operator. Oh? He pulls a little job, then hires himself as a detective to catch himself. Then he pulls a bigger job. Say, now, that's pretty clever. I guess I better give this information to Commissioner Gilder Sleeve, too. There's no use in calling him. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but Police Commissioner Gilder Sleeve couldn't catch his own big toe. What else do you have on the bandit? Well, he's a huge man armed and desperate, and he's always whistling pennies from heaven. Yes, I know. I wonder where that scoundrel's headed for now. My first day as Police Commissioner, Bessie, and I made a monkey of myself. Yes, sir. The chiefs left me. The regular commissioner's gone fishing with the mayor. Bessie, I guess it's up to you and me. Let's try to reenact the crime. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, you mean we're going to rob the safe, too? No, Bessie. I wish I had some competent help on this thing. Pardon me. What? Is this where I'll find the acting Police Commissioner? Yes, that's me. Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeve. My name is Jolly. I have something to talk to you about. Oh, well, have a seat, Mr. Jolly. I'll be with you in just a minute. We've had a little upset here, and if you don't mind, I'd like to get some information from my secretary. Go right ahead, friend. I've got more time than money. Yeah. Now, Bessie, let's start at the beginning, huh? When you came back from lunch and found the safe had been robbed, did you notice any clues? Clues? I mean, well, did you see any strange fingerprints? How do you tell a strange one? Well... Well, the robber didn't leave any fingerprints, friend. What? If you're talking about the whistling bandit, he always wears gloves. I know. Oh? Come to think of it, Bessie, how do you know it was the whistling bandit? Who else could it be, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? When I came back from lunch, I heard somebody going down the alley whistling pennies from heaven. Oh, yes. And how does that tune go? Oh, I can't whistle, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. The whistling bandit sounds like this. Yeah. Wait a minute. How do you happen to know so much about the whistling bandit? Well, I've been one step behind that man for years. Oh? And that's what I came up here to talk to you about. I'm a part-time detective. You are? Here are my credentials, friend. I've got a lot of them. Well, nice bad. Thank you. I got that off the head of the detective bureau in Kansas City. Very pretty. He must have thought a lot of you. Well, he learned to respect me. See, how would you like to help me catch this whistling bandit? That's a big order, friend. Well, with all you know about him, it shouldn't be hard. And you whistle just like him. What's that, Miss? Bessie, you stay out of this. Yes, sir. How about it, Jolly? Will you take the job? Well, I'm pretty busy. There's been a lot of crime lately. Yeah, I know. That's why I need a good detective like you. Well... Please, Jolly, it means a lot to me. Well, it does to me, too. I'll take the job. Great. I'll get Chief Gates on the telephone and tell him I've hired a private detective. Oh, just a minute. Don't call the chief of police. Why not? Well, you'd like to get all the credit yourself, wouldn't you, Commissioner? See, that's not a bad idea. You're a pretty clever Jolly. I think so, friend. Hi, George. I'll show Chief Gates. And wait till the mayor comes back. My name will be all over the front page. I can just see the headlines. So can I. Now then, how do we go about capturing this corrupt? Well, he usually follows a little job with a big job. He does? What's the biggest bank in town? Well, uh... First National. Then if I know the whistling bandit, that's where he'd like to be tonight. Oh, say, maybe you and I should sell a trap for him there. We can handle that if you can get us in the bank after dark. Well, that shouldn't be hard to arrange. I'm the police commissioner. You get us in, and I guarantee the bandit will be there. Be careful, Mr. Gildersleeve. The whistling bandit is a killer. You're not just whistling, Miss. Now, Bessie, don't try to frighten Mr. Jolly. He doesn't have a thing to worry about with me along. I sure don't, friend. Getting dark, Jolly. Might as well go on in the bank. I'm right behind you, friend. You have a gun, haven't you? Two of them. Good. How about you? Oh, I've got a gun all right. Mm-hmm. Glad to know that. I brought a tear gas bomb, too. The whistling bandit fools with me. He'll be the crying bandit. Well, let's get inside before somebody sees us. Oh, yeah, yeah. See, this door is hard to open. A lot of banks are hard to get into. Let me try. There you are. Hey, you're pretty good. After you, friend. Oh, no, after you. I don't want to be a pig. Now on, you're in charge. Well, guess I am. Pretty musty in here. Must have taken in a lot of old bills today. I hope so. What? Why don't you wait here, friend, while I case the joint? Case the joint? I mean, I'll go back and see where the vaults are. Vaults? Oh, I better go with you. Well, if you want to, that's where the shooting is likely to take place. It is? Yes, I better stay up here at that, like you suggested. After all, you're in charge. That's the kind of cooperation I like, friend. If you see anybody, don't fail to give me plenty of warning. Yeah, don't worry, I will. Nice fellow, that jolly. So friendly and so helpful. Well, may as well get behind this marble counter. No use taking foolish chances. Quiet in here. What was that? Kitty. Kitty, kitty. Kitty, what are you doing in the bank? Looking for a rat, too, eh? Oh, well, he didn't get it. Well, that's not getting nervous, kitty. May as well sit down behind this desk. Darn chair. Dark in here. Ooh. Wonder if I shouldn't have brought Chief Gates along. For some reason, I don't feel as safe as I did a moment ago. Wonder how long I'll have to wait. How did that tune go? Catchy. What's that? Oh, that was me, my echo. That wasn't me. Sounds like jolly. Jolly? Is that you? It's not J. Edgar Hoover, sucker. What do you mean by that? What are you doing with all that money? Don't be naive, Fat Boy. Say, I know who you are. You are the whistling bandit. No, you was preaching for your gun. I already got it. What? Why, you dirty pickpockets. Back up against the wall, Gilda Sleeve. No, Jolly, I trusted you. That was your mistake. Back up against the wall, Fat Boy. Look who's talking. Back up. I warned you, Jolly. I still have a tear gas bomb and I'll use it. Shut up. I'm going to take care of you and scram out of here. Jolly, you won't get away with this. Shut up and keep backing. I'm backing, but... Oh, darn cat. Gilda Sleeve, don't drop the tear gas. Oh, oh, oh! It slipped, Jolly. I'll get you, Gilda Sleeve. Where are you? I can't see. Can't breathe. I'm going to open the window. If he cuts on that man, he's dangerous. Yes, sir. He won't be hard to handle. He's too full of tear gas. Is Gilda Sleeve coming around, Mr. Mayor? I think so. Well, give him air, folks. How do you feel now, Gilda Sleeve? Oh, all right, I guess. Mr. Mayor, I thought you were fishing. I fell out of the boat so we came back early. You did? Good. I mean, well... Gilda Sleeve, that was mighty clever of you to open the window and set off the burglar alarm. That took fast thinking. Well, I did it fast, all right. Where's the whistling bandit? He's handcuffed right there on the floor. He is? Oh, hello, sucker. I guess he can't wave back. Gilda Sleeve, the city is proud of you. How would you like to become permanent police commissioner? Oh, I'll think it over, Gilda Sleeve. Now we want to get a picture of you for the press. Would you mind demonstrating exactly how you routed the bandit? No, no. Be glad to, Mr. Mayor. Chief, hand me one of your tear gas bombs. Anything you want, Commissioner. Thank you, old boy. Stand back, folks. Well, I was standing right here, and the bandit was coming toward me with three guns. Two of his and one of mine. Three? Here I was armed only with a tear gas bomb. It was him or me, Mr. Mayor, but I couldn't let the city down. So I grabbed the tear gas bomb like this. Hoop, hoop, hoop, look out! We'll be back in just a moment. They say that in the spring a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love. But you homemakers, well, I'll bet your fancy turns to fresh tasting foods to brighten up your spring menus. For instance, wonderfully fresh tasting Philadelphia brand cream cheese made by Kraft. Now there's a food that's always exquisitely fresh. You see, famous Philadelphia brand cream cheese is made fresh every day in shining Kraft plants from coast to coast. Then it's hurried to food stores and ice cold trucks and cars. That's why this cream cheese is guaranteed fresh by Kraft. So perk up your menus with delicate, white, gloriously rich Philadelphia brand cream cheese for nutritious lunchtime sandwiches, for extra good desserts, for really fresh tasting salads. Just be sure you get genuine Philadelphia brand the cream cheese that's guaranteed fresh by Kraft. Folks, maybe I haven't had much experience as police commissioner, but for three hours I've been grilling the whistling bandit. And now he's ready to make a complete confession. And I thought you'd like to hear it. Go ahead, Jolly. Crime does not pay. Thank you, Mr. Jolly. Good night, folks. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Kentley, Mary Lee Roth, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross and Richard LeGrand. This is John Wall saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. And be sure to listen next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Sleeve. You bet. Did you ever take a slice of cold meatloaf and add a touch of Kraft's prepared mustard? Try it, because when you add a little mustard you add a lot of tang. Every bite has more zest. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, light delicately spiced solid mustard for those who like their mustard mild, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Be sure to get both kinds. Then you'll be ready for luncheon, supper or a midnight snack. Remember, just add a little mustard and you add a lot of tang. Kraft's prepared mustard. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.