 For those that are seeking a serious, fully committed relationship, we have to address the fact today's dating marketplace is rather dysfunctional. And I think part of the problem is these days we're meeting total strangers. And when it comes to meeting total strangers, we know very little about who they are before we actually develop a relationship with them. Now, why is this so critically important? I want you to imagine this. You've met a total stranger and all of a sudden you've had this instinct chemistry. You have this intense physical attraction for one another. And then you start exploring a relationship together, oftentimes a physical relationship with someone you barely know. And what can happen to connecting with someone you barely know is you might find out over a period of time, they're not rather compatible with you. Or worse, this human being is so dysfunctional that they're incapable of actually exploring a serious, significant relationship. You know, it's interesting. If you haven't seen the show Indian Matchmaker, one of the premises of the show is this is where two families organize to put their children together for the most part, and that's not always the case. What I like about this premise is that when family is actively involved in the decision making process, it takes out that element of chemistry as being the leading force of entering into a relationship. But I want you to think about this for a moment. Let's say you, by the way, why this is so prevalent or why this is so important to why men go silent and what happens is, I think you'll understand in a few minutes. So just give me a little bandwidth here to kind of elaborate here for a moment. So coming back to a matchmaker, imagine you hired a matchmaker that legitimately did their job. Okay. And I say legitimately did their job. And what I mean to say is their job is to scour their entire database to determine if someone's compatible with you. So they should be asking a laundry list of questions based on what you provided them to determine compatibility. Now, a lot of times people think of compatibility in a very simplistic way. They think of, do you like sushi? Oh my God, me too. Do you like stand up paddle board? Oh my God, my favorite activity to do. Do you like the Rolling Stones? Oh my gosh, I've seen them in concert five or six times. Wow, you two are so compatible. That's not compatibility. That's just a sense of familiarity. True compatibility is the ability to blend lives with one another and actually find those solid areas of real alignment with one another so you can actually carry a relationship further. Now, here's the tricky part. For those that are in their 20s and 30s, most of the time they're seeking somebody to not just mate with, but build a family with. So that makes it a little bit easier from the sense of two people want to start a family to one another and build a life together with a family. It's a lot different for those of us in midlife. This is why midlife is so critically challenging. But coming back to this idea of asking that laundry list of questions. Well, I want to share a comment I got from one of our readers or our followers that kind of negates what I just said to you. And again, this will lead into silence in just a moment. She states, a laundry list of questions should never be necessary and seems obnoxious. If you're spending the proper amount of time, the answers will come organically. If you're an intelligent person, there's no, there is no wasting time. The only way this turns into time wasting, if you're dealing with an avoidant personality in which case you need to get out. So she kind of contradicts herself. Well, don't ask a lot of questions, but if you're with an avoidant get out, here's the problem with investing time with someone without prequalifying your prospect. And what I teach in my private coaching is that place that you prequalify someone before you get on that chemical bandwagon of chemistry that can take over a relationship with the wrong person. And by the way, schedule a free discovery call. There's a link right here to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you and the links below. Also to get a copy of my book and other things are in the links below. Okay, why is this so critically important to vet someone? Because here's why silence happens, why silence happens from a man. When a man is in doubt, when there's doubt with somebody, it's going to make him confused. Okay, now, when someone is confused, they don't know, do I turn right? Do I turn left? Do I call them? Don't I call them? That sort of thing. Confusion creates doubt and that doubt is what creates silence. Now, really quickly, we have to differentiate between those people that are in the beginning stage of dating where silence happens versus a significant relationship. And we have to differentiate between short-term silence and long-term silence. Okay, now, first off, if you're in the beginning stage of dating someone and they go silent, what that typically means is they have doubt with you, they're uncertain, maybe they're dating multiple people. And probably this isn't going to be a significant relationship, most likely. And by the way, we have to differentiate that their short-term silence, taking one or two days off of communication versus something more significant where it's seven to 14 days of no communication. Okay, now, if you're in a more seasoned relationship,