 The Riddle of the 528 by Thomas W. Henshaw. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Alan Winteroud. The Riddle of the 528 by Thomas W. Henshaw. It was exactly 32 minutes past 5 o'clock on the evening of Friday December 9th, when the stationmaster at Annerley received the following communication by wire from the signal box at Forest Hill. 528 down from London Bridge just passed. One first class compartment in total darkness. Investigate. As two stations, Sydenham and Pinge, lie between Forest Hill and Annerley. In the ordinary course of events, this signal box message would have been dispatched to one or the other of these. But it so happens that the 528 from London Bridge to Croydon is a special train, which makes no stop short of Annerley Station on the way down. Consequently, the signalman had no chance but to act as he did. Wire fused, I reckon, or filament burned out. That's the worst of electric light, commented the stationmaster when he received the communication. Get a light of some sort from the lamproom, Webb. They'll have to put up with that as far as Croydon. Moose sharp, she'll be along presently. Then he took up a lantern for, in addition to fog, a slight sifting snow had come on about an hour previously, rendering the evening one of darkness and extreme discomfort. And crossed by way of the tunnel over to the down platform to be ready for the train's arrival, having some little difficulty in progressing easily, for it happened that a local celebrity had been entertaining the newly elected Lord Mayor that day, and in consequence, both the up and down platforms were unusually crowded for the season and the hour. Promptly at 542, the scheduled time for its arrival, the train came pelting up the snow-covered metals from Pinge and made its first stops in starting. It was packed to the point of suffocation, as it always is, and in an instant the station was in a state of congestion. Far down the uncovered portion of the platform, Webb, the porter, who had now joined the stationmaster, spied a gap in the long line of brightly lighted windows and the pair bore down upon it forthwith, each with a glowing lantern in his hand. Here she is. Now then, let's see what's the difficulty, said the stationmaster, as they came abreast of the lighted compartment, where, much to his surprise, he found nobody leaning out and making it to do over the matter. Looks as if the blessed thing was empty, but that's by no means likely in a packed train like the 528. Hello? Door's locked. And here's an engaged label on the window. What the dickens did I do with my key? Oh, here it is. Now then, let's see what's amiss. A great deal was amiss, as he saw the instant he unlocked the door and pulled it open. For the first lifting of the lantern made the cause of the darkness startlingly plain. The shallow glass globe, which should have been in the center of the ceiling, had been smashed, ragged fragments of it still clinging to their fastenings, and the three electric bulbs had been removed bodily. A downward glance showed him that both these and the fragments of the broken globe lay on one seat, partly wrapped in a wet cloth, and on the other he gave a jump in a howl and retreated a step or two in a state of absolute panic. For there in a corner, with his face toward the engine, half sat, half leaned the figure of a dead man, with a bullet hole between his eyes and a small nickel-plated revolver loosely clasped in the bent fingers of one limp and lifeless hand. The body was that of a man whose age could not at the most have exceeded eight and thirty, a man who must in life have been more than ordinarily handsome. His hair and mustache were fair, his clothing was of extreme elegance in both material and fashioning. He wore no jewelry of any description unless one accepts a plain gold ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. His feet were shod in patent leather boots and the rack overhead rested a shining silk hat of the newest fashion, an orange wood walking stick and a pair of gray suede gloves. An evening paper lay between his feet open as though it had been read and in his buttonhole there was a single mauve orchid of exquisite beauty and delicacy. The body was quite alone in the compartment and there was not a scrap of luggage of any description. Suicide, gulp the startled station master as soon as he could find strength to say anything. Then he hastily slammed and relocked the door, set web on guard before it and flew to notify the engine driver and to send word to the local police. The news of the tragedy spread like wildfire but the station master who had his wits about him would allow nobody to leave the station until the authorities had arrived and suffered no man or woman to come within a yard of the compartment where the dead man lay. Someone has said that nothing comes by chance but whether that is true or not it happened that Mr. Maverick Narcom was among those who had attended the lunch in honor of the Lord Mayor that day and that at the very moment when this ghastly discovery was made on the down platform at Annerley Station he was standing with the crowd on the up one waiting for the train to Victoria. This train was to convey clique whom he had promised to join in Annerley returning from a day spent with Captain Morrison and his daughter in the beautiful home they had bought when the law decided that the captain was the legitimate heir of George Carboys and lawful successor to Abdul bin Mirza's money. As soon as the news of the tragedy reached him Mr. Narcom crossed to the scene of action and made known his identity and by the time the local police reached the theater of events he was in full possession of the case and had already taken certain steps with regard to the matter. It was he who first thought of looking to see if any name was attached as is often the case to the engaged label secured to the window of the compartment occupied by the dead man. There was. Written in pencil under the blue printed engaged were the three words for Lord Stavarnel. By George he exclaimed as he read the name which was one that half England had heard of at one time or another and knew to belong to a man whose wild dissipated life and violent temper had passed into proverb. Come to the end at last has he give me your lantern porter and open the door. Let's have a look and see if there's any mistake or the whistle of the arriving train for Victoria cut in upon his words and putting a local police in charge he ran for the tunnel made for the platform and caught clique. He remained in conversation with him for two or three minutes after the Victorian train had gone its way and was still talking with him in undertones when a brief time later they appeared from the tunnel and bore down on the spot where the local police were on guard over the dark compartment. Mr. George headland one of my best men and director who had just arrived. Let us have all the light you can please Mr. headland wishes to view the body crowd round the rest of you and keep the passengers back pull down the blinds of the compartment before you turn on your bull's eyes all right porter tell the engine driver so get his orders in a minute now then click headland decide it rests with you clique open the door of the compartment stepped in gave one glance at the dead man and then spoke murder he said look how the pistol lies in his hand wait a moment however and let me make sure then he took the revolver from the yielding fingers smelt it, smiled then broke it and looked at the cylinder just as I supposed he added turning to Narcom one chamber has been fouled by a shot and one cartridge has been exploded but not today not even yesterday that sour smell tells its own story Mr. Narcom this revolver was discharged two or three days ago the assassin had everything prepared for this little event but he was a fool for all his cleverness for you will observe that in his haste when he put the revolver in the dead hand to make it appear a case of suicide he laid it down just as he himself took it from his pocket with the butt toward the victim's body and the muzzle pointed outward between the thumb and forefinger and with the bottom of the cylinder instead of the top of the trigger touching the ball of the thumb it is a clear case of murder Mr. Narcom but sir interposed the station master overhearing this assertion and looking at clique with eyes of blank bewilderment if somebody killed him where has that somebody gone this train has made no stop until now since it started from London Bridge so even if the party was in it at the start how in the world could he get out maybe he chucked himself out the window governor suggested web or maybe he slipped out and hung onto the foot board until the train slowed down and then dropped off just before it come into the station here don't talk rubbish web both doors were locked and both windows closed when we discovered the body you saw that as plainly as I blummy sir so I did then where could he have went to and how station master struck in clique turning from examining the body get your men to examine all tickets both in the train and out of it and if there's one that's not clipped as it passed the barrier at London Bridge look out for it and detain the holder I'll take the gate here and examine all local tickets meantime wire all up the road to every station from here to London Bridge and find out if any other signalman than the one at Forest Hill noticed this dark compartment when the train went past both suggestions were acted upon immediately but every ticket save of course the season ones and the holders of these were in every case identified was found to be properly clipped and in the end every signal box from new cross on wired back all compartments lighted when train passed here that narrows the search Mr. Narcom said clique when he heard this the lights were put out somewhere between Honor Oak Park and Forest Hill and it was between Honor Oak Park and Annerley the murderer made his escape inspector he turned to the officer and commanded the local police do me a favor put your men in charge of this carriage and let the train proceed Norwood Junction is the next station I believe and there's a sidetrack there have the carriage shunted and keep close guard over it until Mr. Narcom and I arrive right you are sir anything else yes have the station master at the junction equip a hand car with a search light and send it here as expeditiously as possible if anybody or anything has left this train between this point and Honor Oak Park Mr. Narcom this den coding of snow will betray the fact beyond the question of a doubt 20 minutes later the hand car is in an appearance man by a couple of linesman from the junction and word having been wired up the line to hold back all trains for a period of half an hour in the interest of Scotland yard click and Narcom boarded the vehicle and went whizzing up the metals in the direction of Honor Oak Park the shifting search lights sweeping the path from left to right and glaring brilliantly on the surface of the fall and snow four lines of tracks gleamed against its spotless level the two outer ones being those employed by the local trains going to and fro between London and the suburbs the two inner ones belonging to the main line but not one footstep indented the thin surface of that broad expanse of snow from one end of the journey to the other the murderer whoever he is or wherever he went never set foot upon so much as one inch of this ground that's certain as he gave the order to reverse the car in return you feel satisfied of that do you not my dear fellow thoroughly Mr. Narcom there can't be two opinions upon that point but at the same time he did leave the train otherwise we should have found him in it granted but the question is when did he get in and how did he get out we know from the evidence of the passengers as a train never stopped for one instant between London bridge station and Annerley that all compartments were a light up to the time it passed on a rope park that nobody abroad of it heard a sound of a pistol shot that the assassin could not have crept along the footboard and got into some other compartment for all were so densely crowded that half a dozen people were standing in each so he could not have entered without somebody making room for him to open the door and get in no such thing no such thing could happen without a dozen or more people being aware of it so the idea of a Confederate may be dismissed without a thought the unmarked surface of the snow shows that nobody alighted was thrown out or fell out between the two points where the tragedy must have occurred both windows were shut and both doors of the compartment locked when the train made its first stop yet the fellow was gone my dear chap are you sure are you really sure that it isn't a case of suicide after all clique gave his shoulders a lurch and smiled indulgently my dear Mr. Markham he said the position of the revolver in the dead man's hand ought as I pointed out to you to settle that question even if there were no other discrepancies in the natural order of things a man who has just put a bullet into his own brain would if he were to act as Lord Stavronel was drop the revolver in the spasmodic opening and shutting of the hands in the final convulsion but if he retained any sort of hold upon it be sure his forefinger would be in the loop of the trigger he wouldn't be holding the weapon backwards so to speak with the cylinder against the ball of his thumb and the hammer against the base of the middle finger if he had held it that way he simply couldn't have shot himself if he had tried if you didn't remark it there was no scorch of powder upon the face for another thing and for a third the bullet hole was between the eyes a most unlikely target for a man bent upon blowing out his own brains the temple or the roof of the mouth are the points to which natural impulse he stopped and laid a sharp quick shutting hand on the shoulder of one of the two men who were operating the car turn back he exclaimed reverse the action and go back 1000 yards or so the impetus of the car would not permit this at once but after running on for a little time longer it answered to the brake slowed down stopped and then began to back scutting along the rail until Kleeke again called it to a halt they were within gunshot of the station at Sydenham when this occurred the glaring searchlight was still playing on the metals and the thin layer of snow between and Kleeke's face seemed all eyes as he bent over and studied the ground over which they were gliding of a sudden however he gave a little satisfied grunt jumped down and picked up a shining metal object about two and a half inches long which lay in the space between the tracks of the main and the local lines it was a guard's key for the locking and unlocking of compartment doors one of the small t-shaped kind that you can buy of almost any iron monger for six pints or a shilling any day it was wet from contact with the snow but quite un-rusted showing that it had not been lying there long and it needed but a glance to reveal the fact that it was brand new and of recent purchase Kleeke held it out on his palm as he climbed back upon the car and rejoined Narcombe wherever he got on Mr. Narcombe this is where the murderer got off you see and either dropped or flung away this key when he had relocked the compartment after him he said and yet as you see there is not a footstep beyond those I have myself just made to be discovered anywhere from the position in which this key was lying one thing is certain however our man got out on the opposite side from the platform towards which the train was hastening and in the middle of the right of way what a mad idea if there had been a mainline express passing at the time the fellow ran the risk of being cut to pieces none of them slowed down before they prepared to make their first stop at East Croydon and about this spot they would be going like the wind yes said Kleeke looking fixedly at the shiny bit of metal on his palm going like the wind and the suction would be enormous between two trains a step outside and he'd have been under the wheels in a wink yes it would have been certain death if there had been a mainline train passing at the time and that he was not sucked down and ground under the wheels proves that there wasn't then he puckered up his brows in that manner which Narcum had come to understand meant a thoughtfulness it was impolitic to disturb and stood silent for a long long time Mr. Narcum he said suddenly I think we have discovered all that there is to be discovered in this direction let us get on to Norwood Junction as speedily as possible I want to examine that compartment and that dead body a little more closely besides our half hour is up and the trains will be running again shortly so we'd better get out of the way any ideas old chap yes bushels of them but they all may be exploded in another half hour still these are the days of scientific marvels water does run uphill and men do fly and both are in defiance of the laws of gravitation which means that I should leave the hand car at Sydenham Mr. Narcum and phone up the London Bridge Station there are one or two points I wish to ask some questions about afterward I'll hire a motor from some local garage and join you at Norwood Junction in an hour's time let no one see the body or enter the compartment where it lies until I come one question however is my memory at fault or was it not Lord Stavarnel who was mixed up in that little affair with the French dancer Mademoiselle Fifi de l'Espare who was such a rage in town about a year ago yes that's the chap said Narcum and reply and a rare bad lot he has been all his life I can tell you I dare say that Fifi herself was no better than she ought to have been chucking over her county bread husband as soon as she came into popularity and having men of the Stavarnel class hanging after her but whether she was or was not Stavarnel broke up that home and if that French husband had done the right thing he would have thrashed him within an inch of his life instead of acting like a fool in a play and challenging him Stavarnel laughed at the challenge of course and if all that is said of him is true he was at the bottom of the shabby trick which finally forced the poor devil to get out of the country when his wife Fifi left him the poor wretch nearly went off his head and as he had in fifty shillings in the world he was in a dickens of a pickle when somebody induced a lot of milleners, dressmakers and the like to whom it was said that Fifi owed bills to put their accounts into the hands of a collecting agency and to proceed against him for settlement of his wife's accounts that was why he got out of the country post haste the case made a great stir at the time and the scandal of it was so great that although the fact never got into the papers Stavarnel's wife left him refusing to live another hour with such a man oh, he had a wife then yes, one of the most beautiful women in the kingdom they had been married only a year when the scandal of the Fifi affair arose that was another of his dirty tricks forcing that poor creature to marry him she did so against her will yes, she was engaged to another fellow at the time an army chap who was out in India her father too was an army man a colonel of something or other poor as the proverbial church mouse addicted to hard drinking card-playing, horse racing and about as selfish an old brood as they make him the girl took a deep dislike to Lord Stavarnel the minute she saw him knew his reputation and refused to receive him that's the very reason he determined to marry her humble her pride as it were and he paid her for her scorn of him he got her father into his clutches deliberately of course lent him money, took his IOUs for car debts and all that sort of thing until the old brood was up to his ears in debt and with no prospect of paying it off of course when he'd got him to that point Stavarnel demanded the money but finally agreed to wipe the debt out entirely if the daughter married him they went at her poor creature those two with all the mercilessness of a couple of wolves her father would be disgraced kicked out of the army, barred from all the clubs reduced to beggary and all that if she did not yield and in the end they so played upon her feelings had to save him she gave in Stavarnel took out a special license and they were married of course the man never cared for her he only wanted his revenge on her and they say he led her a dog's life from the hour they came back to England from their honeymoon poor creature said clique sympathetically and what became of the other chap the lover she wanted to marry and who was out in India at the time all this happened oh they say he went on like a madman when he heard it swore he'd kill Stavarnel and all that but quieted down after a time and accepted the inevitable with the best grace possible Crawford is his name he was a lieutenant at the time but he's got his captaincy since and I believe he is on leave and in England at present as madly and as hopelessly in love with the girl of his heart as ever why hopelessly Mr. Markham such a man as Stavarnel must have given his wife grounds for divorce a dozen times over not a doubt of it there isn't a judge in England who wouldn't have set her free from the scoundrel long ago if she had cared to bring the case into the courts the lady Stavarnel is a strong church woman my dear fellow she doesn't believe in divorce and nothing on earth could persuade her to marry Captain Crawford so long as her first husband still remained alive oh said Cleek then Fifi's husband isn't the only man with a grievance and a cause there's another A another I expect there must be a dozen if truth were known there's only one creature in the world I ever heard of as having a good word to say for the man and whom might that be the honorable Mrs. Brinkworth widow of his younger brother you'd think the man was an angel to hear her sing his praises her husband too was a wild sort left her up to her ears in debt without a penny to bless herself with a boy of five to rear and educate Stavarnel seems always to have liked her at any rate he came to the rescue paid off the debts settled an annuity upon her the boy is sent to eat and as soon as he was old enough I expect the boy is at the bottom of his good streak in him if all is told for having no children of his own I say by George old chap why that nipper being the heir in the direct line is Lord Stavarnel now that the uncle is dead a lucky stroke for him by Jupiter yes agreed Cleek lucky for him lucky for Lady Stavarnel lucky for Captain Crawford and unlucky for the honorable Mrs. Brinkworth and Mademoiselle Fifi de la Spare so of course ah sit in hem at last goodbye for a little time Mr. Narcum join you at Norwood Junction as soon as possible and I say yes old chap wire through to the low level station at Crystal Palace would you and inquire if anybody has mislaid an ironing board or lost an Indian canoe see you later so long then he stepped up on to the station platform and went in quest of a telephone booth part two it was after nine o'clock when he turned up at Norwood Junction as calm serene and imperturbable as ever and found Narcum awaiting him in a small private room which the station clerk had placed at his disposal my dear fellow I never was so glad exclaimed the superintendent jumping up excitedly as clique entered what kept you so long I've been on thorns got bushels to tell you first off as Stavenel's identity is established beyond doubt and no time has been lost in wiring the news of his murder to his relatives both Lady Stavenel and Mrs. Brinkworth have wired back that they are coming on I expect them at any minute now and here's a piece of news for you Fifi's husband is in England the Honorable Mrs. Brinkworth has wired me to that effect says she has means of knowing that he came over from France the other day and that she herself saw him in London this morning when she was up there shopping commented clique got her wits about her that lady evidently find anything at the crystal palace low level Mr. Narcum yes my dear clique I don't know whether you are a wizard or what and I can't concede what reason you can have for making such an inquiry but which was it canoe or ironing board neither as it happens but they've got a ladies folding cutting table you know the sort one of those that women use for dressmaking operations and possible to be folded up flat so they can be tucked away nobody knows who left it but it's there awaiting an owner and it was found oh I can guess that interposed clique nonchalantly it was in a first class compartment of the 518 from London Bridge which reached a low level at 543 no never mind questions for a few minutes please let's go and have a look at the body I want to satisfy myself regarding the point of what in the world Stavronel was doing on a suburban train and a time when he ought properly to be on his way home to his rooms at the Ritz preparing the dress for dinner to find out if possible what means that chap with a little dark mustache used to get him to go out of town in his ordinary afternoon dress and by that particular train chap with a small dark mustache who do you mean by that party that killed him my phone to London Bridge station has cleared the way a bit it seems that Lord Stavronel engaged that compartment in that particular train by telephone at 3 o'clock this afternoon he arrived all alone and was in no end of a temper because the carriage was dirty had it swept out and stood waiting while it was being done after that the porter says he found him laughing and talking with a dark mustache little man apparently of continental origin dressed in a Norfolk suit and carrying a brown leather portmanteau of course as the platform was crowded he would have taken any notice of the dark mustache little man and the porter doesn't know where he went nor when only that he never saw him again but I know where he went Mr. Narcom and I know too what was in that portmanteau an air pistol for one thing also a mallet or hammer and that wet cloth we found both of which were for the purpose of smashing the electric light globe without sound and he went into that compartment with his victim yes but man alive how did he get out where did he go after that and what became of the brown leather portmanteau I hope to be able to answer both questions before this night is over Mr. Narcom meantime let us go and have a look at the body and settle one of the little points that bother me the superintendent led the way to the sighting where the shunted carriage stood closely guarded by the police in lanterns having been produced from the lamp room clique was soon deep in the business of examining the compartment and its silent occupant aided by the better light he now perceived something which in the first hurried examination had escaped him or if it had not which is perhaps open to question he had made no comment upon it was a spot about the size of an ordinary dinner plate on the crimson carpet which covered the floor of the compartment it was slightly darker than the rest of the surface and was at the foot of the corner seat directly facing the dead man I think we can fairly decide Mr. Narcom on the evidence of that said clique pointing to it that Lord Stavronel did have a companion in this compartment and that it was the little dark man with a small mustache put your hand on that spot damp you see the effect of someone who had walked through the snow sitting down with his feet on this particular seat now look here he passed his handkerchief over the stain and held it out for Narcom's inspection it was slightly browned by the operation just the amount of dirt the soles of one's boots would be likely to collect if one came with wet feet along the muddy platform of the station yes but my dear chap that might easily have happened particularly on such a day as this has been before Lord Stavronel's arrival he can't have been the only person to enter this compartment since morning granted but he is supposed to have been the only person who entered it after it was swept Mr. Narcom and that as I told you was done by his orders immediately before the train started we've got past the point of guesswork now we've established a presence of the second party beyond all question we also know that he was a person with whom Stavronel felt at ease and was intimate enough with to feel no necessity for putting himself out by entertaining with those little courtesies one is naturally obliged to show a guest how do you make that out this newspaper he was reading at the time he was shot you can see for yourself where the bullet went through this hole here close to the top of the paper when a man invites another man to occupy with him a compartment which he has engaged for his own exclusive use and this Stavronel must have done otherwise the man couldn't have been traveling with him and then proceeds to read the news instead of troubling himself to treat his companion as a guest it is pretty safe to say that they are acquaintances of long standing and upon such terms of intimacy that the social amenities may be disposed with inoffensively now look at the position of this newspaper lying between the dead man's feet curbed around the ankle or part of the calf of the left leg if we hadn't found the key we should still have known that the murderer got out of that side of the carriage how should we have known because a paper which has simply been dropped could not have assumed that position without the aid of a strong current of air the opening of that door on the right hand side of the body supplied that current and supplied it with such strength and violence that the paper was, as one might say absolutely sucked around the man's leg that is a positive proof that the train was moving at the time it happened for the day as you know has been windless now look no powder on the face no smell of it in the compartment and yet the pistol found in his hand is an ordinary American made .38 caliber revolver we have an amateur assassin to deal with Mr. Narcombe not a hardened criminal and the witlessness of the fellow is enough to bring the case to an end before this night is over why didn't he discharge that revolver today and have enough sense to bring a thimble full of powder to burn in this compartment after the work was done one nose in an instant that the weapon used was an air pistol and that the fellow's only thought was how to do the thing without sound not how to do it with sense and I don't suppose there are three places in all London that stock air pistols and I don't suppose that they sell this too in a whole year's time but if one has been sold or repaired at any of the shops in the past six months well Dolps will know that in less than no time I phoned him to make increase his tasks an easy one and I'm no doubt he will bring back the word I want in short order and now Mr. Narcombe as our friend the assassin is such a blundering short-sighted individual it's just possible that forgetting so many other important things and neglected to search the body of his victim let us do that for him as he spoke he bent over the dead man and commenced to search the clothing he split his hand into the inner pocket of the creaspless morning coat and drew out a notebook and two or three letters all were addressed in the handwriting of women but only one seemed to possess any interest for clique it was written on pink note paper enclosed in a pink envelope and was postmarked Croydon December 9 2 30 p.m and bore those outward marks which be tokened as delivery not in course of post but by an express messenger one instant after clique had looked at it he knew he needs seek no further for the information he desired it read Piggy, stupid boy the ball of the dress fancy is not for tomorrow but tonight I have made sudden discovery come quick a train that shall leave London bridge at the time of 28 minutes after the hour of 5 you shall not fail of this or it shall make much difficulties for me as I come to meet it on arrival do not bother of the costume I will have one ready for you I have one large joke of the somebody else that is coming which will make you scream of the laughter burn this, Fifi at the bottom of the sheet do burn this I have hurt the hand writing of my maid and I do not want you to treasure that there is the explanation Mr. Narcum said clique as he held the letter out that is why he came by this particular train there is the snare that is how he was lured by Fifi said Narcum by Jove I rather fancy from the first that we should find that she or her husband had something to do with it did you said clique with a smile I didn't then and I don't even yet Narcum opened his lips to make some comment upon this but closed him suddenly and said nothing for at that moment one of the constables put in an appearance with news that two ladies and one gentleman have arrived sir and are asking permission to view the body for purposes of identification here are the names sir on this slip of paper Lady Stavarnel Colonel Murchison Honorable Mrs. Brinkworth Captain James Crawford Narcum read aloud then looked up inquiringly at clique yes he said let them come and Mr. Narcum yes do you happen to know where they come from yes I learned that when I sent word of Stavarnel's death to them this evening Lady Stavarnel and her father have for the last week been stopping at Cleethorpe Hydro for the purpose of remaining over the Christmas holidays and oddly enough both Mrs. Brinkworth and Captain Crawford turned up at the same place for the same purpose the day before yesterday it can't be very pleasant for them I should imagine for I believe the two ladies are not very friendly naturally not said clique half abstractedly the one loathing the man the other loving him I want to see those two ladies and I particularly want to see those two men after that here his voice dropped off then he stood looking up at the shattered globe and rubbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger and wrinkling up his brows after the manner of a man who was trying to solve a problem in mental arithmetic and Narcum unwise in that direction for once chose to interrupt his thoughts for no greater reason than he had thrice heard him mutter suction resistance working on a problem old chap he ventured can I help you I used to be rather good at that sort of thing were you said clique a trifle testily then tell me something combating a suction power of about two pounds to the square inch how much wind does it take to make a cutting table fly with an unknown weight upon it from the Sydenham switch to the low level station when you've worked that out and when you do get him he won't be any man you ever saw or ever heard of in all the days of your life but he would be light enough to hop like a bird heavy enough to pull up a wire rope with about 300 pounds on the end of it and there will be two holes of about an inch in diameter and a foot apart in one end of the table that flew my dear chap began Narcum in tones of blank bewilderment then stopped suddenly and his heel for a familiar voice had sung out suddenly a yard or two distant I'll keep your air on don't get to thinking your Niagara Falls just cause you got water on the brain and there struggling in the grip of a constable who had laid strong hands upon him stood dollops with a kit bag in one hand and a half devoured bath bun in the other alright there constable let the boy pass he's one of us wrapped out clique and in an instant the detaining hand fell and dollops chest went out like a powder pigeons catch on to that suburb said he giving the constable a look of blighting scorn and swaggering by like a mighty conqueror joined clique at the compartment door nailed it at the second wrap governor he sat in an undertone fell down on gamages picked myself up on loader Tottenham Court Road a 14127A manufactured stock home valve tightened old customer day before yesterday in the afternoon good boy good boy said clique patting him approvingly keep your tongue between your teeth scuttle off and find out where there's a garage and then wait outside the station till I come right you are sir responded dollops bolting the remainder of the bun then he ducked down and slipped away and clique stepping back into the shadow where his features might not be too clearly seen until he was ready that they should be stood and narrowly watch the small procession which was being piloted to the scene of the tragedy a moment later the four persons already announced passed under clique's watchful eye and stood in the dead man's presence lady staffer now tall graceful beautiful looking as one might look whose lifelong martyrdom has come to last to a glorious end captain Crawford bronzed agitated a trifle nervous shorter stature sleight of build with a rather cynical mouth and a small dark moustache the honorable mrs. Brinkworth a timid dove-eyed little wisp of a woman with a clinging pathetic almost childish manner her soft eyes red with grief her mobile mouth up quiver with pain the marks of tears on her lovely little face and last of all colonel mercheson heavy bull neck ponderous of body and purple of visage a living breathing monument of self home under clique to himself as this unattractive person passed by not he not by his hand he never struck the blow too cowardly too careful and yet poor little woman poor little woman and his sympathetic eyes went past the others past mrs. Brinkworth sobbing and wringing her hands and calling piteously on the dead to speak and dwelt long and tenderly upon lady stavarnil a moment he stood there silent watching listening making neither movement nor sound then of a sudden he put forth his hand and tapped narkham's arm detain this party every member of it by any means on any pretext for another 45 minutes he whispered i said the assassin was a fool i said the blunders made it possible for the case to be concluded tonight did i not wait for me in three quarters of an hour the murderer will be here on this spot with me then he screwed round on his heel and before narkham could speak he was gone soundlessly and completely gone just as he used to go in his vanishing cracksman's days leaving just that promise behind him part three it wanted but 13 minutes of being midnight when the gathering about the sighting where the shunted carriage containing the body of the murdered man still stood received something in the nature of a shock on glancing round as a sharp whistle showed a warning note they saw an engine attached to one solitary carriage backing along the metals and bearing down upon them i say mr. narkham or narkham or whatever your name is blurted out colonel mercheson as he hastily caught the honorable mrs. brinkworth by the arm and whisked her back from the metals leaving his daughter to be looked after by captain crawford look out for your blessed bobby's somebody shunning another coach in on top of us and if the ass doesn't look where he's got there i told you so as the coaching questions settled with a slight jar against that containing the body of lord stavornil of all the blundering pigheaded might have killed some of us what next i wonder what next as a matter of fact gave him cause for even greater wonder for as the two carriages met the door of the last compartment in the one which had just arrived opened briskly and out of it stepped first a couple of uniform policemen next a ginger haired youth with a kit bag in one hand and a savalloy in the other then the trim figure of the lady who had so long unpopularly been known in the musical world as mad wazel fee fee de la spar and last of all clique blurted out narkham overcome with amazement as he saw the serenely alighting figure and clique went in a little rippling murmur throughout the entire gathering civilians and local police alike alright mr. narkham said clique himself with a slight shrug of the shoulders even the best of us sometimes and since everybody knows now we'll have to make the best of it gentlemen ladies you too my colleagues my best respects now to business then he stepped out of the shadow in which he had alighted into the full glow of the lanterns and the flare which had been lit close to the door of the dead man's carriage conscious that every eye was fixed upon his face and that the members of the local force were silently and breathlessly spotting him but in that moment the weird birth gift had been put into practice and narkham fetched a sort of sigh of relief as he saw that a sagging eyelid a twisted lip a queer blurred something about all the features had set upon that face a living mask that hid effectually the face he knew so well to business he repeated ah yes quite so my dear clique shall I tell the ladies and gentlemen will you promise well listen Mr. clique is more than quarter of an hour beyond the time he set but he gave me his word that this riddle would be solved tonight tonight ladies and gentlemen and that when I saw him here the murderer would be with him oh bless him bless him burst forth mrs. brinkworth impulsively and he brings her that wicked woman oh I knew she had something to do with it but for once your woman's intuition isn't fault said clique quietly man was El Fifi is not here as a prisoner but as a witness for the crown she has had nothing even in the remotest to do with the crime her name was used to trap lord staffernel to his death but the lady is here to prove that she never heard of the note which was found on lord staffernel's body to prove also that although it is true she did expect to go to a fancy dressed ball with his lordship that fancy dressed ball does not occur until next friday the sixteenth instant not the ninth and that she never even heard of any alteration in the date ah no no no never I do swear chimed in Fifi herself almost hysterical with fright I know nothing nothing that is true said clique quietly there is not any question of mademoiselle Fifi's complete innocence of any connection with this murder dinner husband ventured captain Crawford agitately surely you have heard what mrs. Brinkworth had said about seeing him in town today yes I have heard captain but it so happens that I know for a certain deem as your Philippe de l'Espare had no more to do with it than had his wife but my dear sir imposed the colonel the or foreign person at the station the little slim man in the Norfolk suit the fellow with a little dark moustache what of him a great deal of him but there are other men who are slight other men who have little dark moustaches colonel that description would answer for captain Crawford here and if he too were in town today I was in town blurted out the captain a sudden tremor in his voice a sudden power showing through his tan but good god man you you can't possibly insinuate no I do not interpose clique set your mind at rest upon that point captain for the simple reason that the little dark man is a little dark fiction in other words he does not and never did exist what's that fairly gas-narcum never existed but my dear clique you told me that the porter at London bridge saw him and I told you what the porter told me the porter thought he saw and what we shall no doubt find out in time at least 50 other people thought they saw and what was doubtless the good joke alluded to in the forge note the only man against whom we need direct our attention the only man who had any hand in this murder is a big burly strong armed one like colonel Murchison here watch that roared out the colonel furiously by the lord Harry do you dare to assert that I I sir killed the man no I do not and for the best of reasons the assassin was shut up in that compartment with lords tavernel from the moment he left London bridge and I happen to know colonel that although you were in town today you never put foot aboard the 528 from the moment it started to the one in which it stopped and at the final moment colonel he reached round took something from his pocket and then held it out on the palm of his hand at that final moment colonel you are passing the barrier at the crystal palace low level with a lady whose ticket from London bridge has never been clipped and with this air pistol which you restored to you in your coat pocket what crazy nonsense is this sir I never saw the blessed thing in all my life oh yes colonel loader of Tottenham court road repaired the vow for you the day before yesterday and I found it in your room just quick nab him Petrie well played after the king the trump after the confederate the assassin and so he sprang suddenly like a jumping cat and there was a click of steel a shrill despairing cry and the rustle of something fallen when captain Crawford and lady Stavenel turned and looked he was standing with both hands on his hips looking frowningly down on the spot where the honorable mrs. Brinkworth lay curled up in a limp unconscious heap with a pair of handcuffs locked on her folded wrists I said that when the murder was found Mr. Narcombe he said as a superintendent moved toward him that it would be no man you ever saw or ever heard of in all your life I knew it was a woman from the bungling unmanned like way the pistol was laid in the dead hand the only question I had to ask was Fifi, lady Stavenel or this wretched little hypocrite here's your little dark man here's the assassin the Norfolk suit and the false moustache are in her room at the hydro she made Stavenel think that she too was going to the fancy ball and that the surprise Fifi had planned was for her to meet him as she did and travel with him when the train was under way she shot him why? I easily explained my dear chap her death made her little son heir to the estates during his minority she would have the handling of the funds with them she and her precious husband would have a gay life of it in their own selfish little way her what? Lord man, do you mean to say that she and the colonel were privately married 7 weeks ago Mr. Narcombe the certificate of their union was tucked away in Colonel Richardson's private effects where it was found this evening how was the escape from the compartment managed after the murder was accomplished said Cleek answering Narcombe's query as they whizzed home through the darkness together by the last up train that night simplest thing in the world as you know the 528 from London Bridge runs without stop to Annerley well the 518 from the same starting point runs to the Crystal Palace at the middle level taking the main line tracks as far as Sydenham where it branches off at the switch and curves away in an opposite direction that is to say for a considerable distance they run parallel but eventually diverge now as the 518 is a train with several stops the 528 being a through one overtakes her and several times between Broccoli and Sydenham they run side by side at so steady a pace and on such narrow gauge that the footboard running along the side of one train is not more than 2.5 feet separated from the other their pace is so regular their progress so even that one could with ease step from the footboard of the one to the footboard of the other but for the horrible suction which would inevitably draw the person attempting it down under the wheels well something had to be devised to overcome the danger of that suction but what I asked myself for I guess from the first how the escape had occurred and I knew that such a thing absolutely required the assistance of a confederate that meant the confederate would have to do on the 518 exactly what they had trapped Stavronel in doing on the other train that is secure private compartment so that when the time came for the escape to be accomplished he could remove the electric bulbs the roof of his compartment open the door and when the two came abreast the assassin could do the same on the other train and presto the dead man would be alone but what to use to overcome the danger of that horrible suction on now I see what you were driving at when you inquired about the ironing board or the Indian canoe the necessary sections to construct a sort of bridge could be packed in either yes but they chose a simple plan the cutting table a good move that it's breadth minimize the peril of the suction only of course it would have to be pulled up afterward to leave no clue and the added space would call for enormous strength to overcome the power of that suction and enormous strength meant a powerful man the rest you can put together without being told Mr. Narcombe when that little vixen finished her man she put out the lights open the door deliberately locking it after her to make the thing more baffling crossed over on that table was helped into the other compartment by Murchison and then as expeditiously as possible slipped on the loose feminine outer garment she carried with her in the brown portmanteau the table was hauled up and taken in nothing but wire rope for that sir and the thing was done Murchison of course purchased two tickets so they might pass the barrier at the lower level and they left but he wasn't able to get the extra ticket clipped at London Bridge because there was no passenger for it that's how I got on to the little game for the rest they planned well those two trains being always packed nobody could see the escape from the one to the other because people would be standing up at every compartment and the windows completely blocked but if hello victory at last thank goodness and so to bed as Pepe said the riddle solved Mr. Narcum good night end of The Riddle of the 528 recording by Alan Winteroud boomcoach.blogspot.com The Be Flat Trombone by Samuel Hopkins Adams this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Alan Winteroud The Be Flat Trombone by Samuel Hopkins Adams three men sat in the Cosmic Club discussing the question what's the matter with Jones Waldemar the oldest of the conferees was the owner and at times the operator of an important and decent newspaper his heavy face wore the expression of good humor power characteristic of the experienced and successful journalist beside him sat Robert Bertram the club idler slender and languidly elegant the third member of the conference was Jones himself Average Jones had come by his nickname inevitably his parents had for doomed him to it when they furnished him with the initials R-E as preface to his birthright of J for Jones his character apparently justified the chance concomitance he was so to speak a composite photograph of any thousand well conditioned clean living Americans between the ages of 25 and 30 happily his otherwise commonplace face was relieved by the one unfailing characteristic of composite photographs of large deep set and thoughtful eyes otherwise he would have passed in any crowd and nobody would have noticed him pass now at 27 he looked back over the five years since his graduation from college and wondered what he had done with them and at the four previous years of undergraduate life and wondered how he had done so well with those and why he had not in some manner justified the party words of his favorite professor you have one rare faculty Jones you can when you choose sharpen the pencil of your mind to a very fine point specialized my boy specialized if the recipient of this admonition had specialized in anything it was in life having 25,000 a year of his own he might have continued in that path indefinitely but for two influences one was an eruptive craving within him to take some part of the dynamic activities of the surrounding world the other was the freak will of his late and little lamented uncle from whom he had his present income and his future expectations of some 10 millions Adrian van rapen had as Waldemar once put it one into the mayor's chair with a good name and come out with a block of ice in a will whose cynical humor was the topic of its day Mr. Edgerton jeered posthumously at the public which he had despoiled and promised restitution of a sort through his air therefore he had written I give and bequeath to the said Adrian van rapen Edgerton Jones the residue of my property the principal to be taken over by him at such time as he shall have completed years of continuance residence in New York City after such time the virus of the metropolis will have worked through his entire being he will squander his unearned undeserved fortune thus completing the vicious circle and returning the millions acquired by my political activities in a poisoned shower upon the city for which having bossed bullied and looted it I feel no sentiment other than contempt and now remarked Waldemar in his heavy rumbling voice you aspire to disappoint that good old man it is only human nature you know said average Jones when a man puts a 10 million dollar curse on you and suggests that you haven't the backbone of a shrimp you naturally yearn to prove him a liar supplies Bertram exactly anyway I've no taste for dissipation either moral or financial I want action something to do I'm bored in this infernal city the whale of the unslaked romanticist commented Bertram romanticist nothing protested the other my ambitions are practical enough if I could only get him stirred up exactly boredom is simply romanticism with a morning after thirst you're panting for romance for something bizarre Egypt and St. Petersburg and Buenos Aires and Samoa have all become commonplace to you you've overdone them that's why you're back here in New York waiting with stretch nerves for the adventure of life to cat creep up from behind and toss the larry at the rainbow dreams over your shoulders Waldemar laughed not a bad diagnosis why don't you take up a hobby Mr. Jones what kind of hobby any kind the club is full of hobby writers of all people that I know they have the meanest appetite for life look at old Denyshow he was a misanthrope until he took to gathering scarabs Fenton over there has the finest collection of circus posters in the world Bellerding's house is a museum of obsolete musical instruments the gay collects venomous insects from all over the world no harmless ones need apply Teraberry has a mania for old railroad tickets some are really very curious I've often wish I had the time to be a crank it's a happy life what line would you choose asked Bertram Languidly nobody has gone in for queer advertisements yet I believe replied the older man if one could take the time to follow them up but it would mean all one's leisure would it be so demanding a career said average Jones smiling decidedly I once knew a man who gave away $20 daily on clues from the day's news he wasn't bored for lack of occupation but the ordinary run of advertising is nothing more than an effort to sell something by yelling in print objected average Jones is it or perhaps you don't look in the right place Waldemar reached for the morning's copy of the universal and ran his eye down the columns of classified matter hark to this he said and read is there any work on God's green earth for a man who has just got to have it or this wanted a venerable looking man with white beard and medical degree good pay to write applicant what's that asked average Jones with awakened interest only a quack medical concern looking for a stall to impress their come ons explained Waldemar average Jones leaned over to scan the paper in his turn here's one said he and read wanted performer on a B flat trombone can use it once apply with instrument after 1 p.m. 300 East 100th street that seems ordinary enough said Waldemar what's it doing in a daily paper there must be or technical publications or journals you know for this sort of demand when averages words come slow you've got him interested commented Bertram sure sign nevertheless he's right said Waldemar it is rather misplaced how is this for one that says what it means said Bertram wanted at once a brass howitzer and a man who isn't afraid to handle it Mrs. Ann Cullen pure 19 half East River the woman who is fighting the barge and explain Waldemar not so good as it looks she's bluffing anyway I'd like a shy at this business declared average Jones with sudden conviction it looks to me like something to do make it a business then advise Waldemar if you care really to go in for it my newspaper would be glad to pay for information such as you might collect we haven't time for example to trace down fraudulent advertisers if you could start an enterprise of that sort you'd certainly find it amusing and at times perhaps even adventurous I wouldn't know how to establish it objected average Jones the newspaper owner drew a rough diagram on a sheet of paper and filled it with writing crossing out and revising liberally divided upon his pattern into lines the final draft said have you been stung thousands have thousands will be they're laying for you who the advertising crooks a Jones advisor can protect you against them before spending your money call on him advice on all subjects connected with newspaper magazine or display advertising free consultation to persons unable to pay call or write in closing postage this is on the level advisor do you expect me to blight my budding career by a poisonous pun like that demanded average Jones with a rye face it may be a poisonous pun but it's an arresting catch word said Waldemar unmoved single column about 50 lines will do in nice open style caps and lowercase and blackface type for the name and title insert twice a week in every New York and Brooklyn paper isn't it a little blatant suggested Bertram with lifted eyebrows blatant repeated its inventor it's more than that it's howlingly vulgar it's a riot of glaring yellow how else would you expect to catch the public suppose then I do burst into flame to this effect query the prospective advisor a appare as we proudly say after spending a week in Paris appare oh plenty of things you hire an office a clerk two stenographers and a clipping expert and prepare to take care of the work that comes in you'll be flooded promised Waldemar in between times I'm to go skipping about chasing long white whiskers and brass howitzers and B flat trombones I suppose until you get your work systemize you'll have no time for skipping within six months if you're not sandbag or jailed on fake libel suits you'll have a unique bibliography of swindles then I'll begin to come and buy your knowledge to keep my own columns clean the speaker looked up to meet the gaze of an iron gray man with a harsh salad face excuse my interrupting said the newcomer just one question Waldemar who's going to be the nominee Linder? surely not why his name hasn't been heard it will be his federal job he resigns in two weeks his record will kill him what record you and I know he's a grafter but can we prove anything his clerk has always handled all the money wasn't there an old scandal a woman case asked the question or vaguely that Washington man's wife too old Linder would deny it flatly and there would be no witnesses the woman is dead killed by his brutal treatment of her they say but the whole thing was hushed up at the time by Linder's pull and when the husband threatened to kill him Linder quietly set a commissioner of insanity on the case and had the man put away he's never appeared since no, that wouldn't be politically effective the gray man nodded and walked away musing Egbert, the traction boss explained Waldemar we're generally on opposite sides but this time we're both against Linder Egbert wants a cheaper man for mayor I want a straighter one and I could get him this year if Linder wasn't so well fortified however to get back to our project Mr. Jones get back to what they did with such absorption that when the group broke up several hours later average Jones was committed by plan and wrote to the new and hopeful adventure of life in the great human hunt which has ever been and ever shall be till the last bird flies into the last light some call it business some call it art some call it love and a very few know it for what it is the very mainspring of existence the path of the pursuer and the prey often run obscurely parallel what time the honorable William Linder matured his designs on the mayoralty average Jones sat in a suite of offices in Astro Court a location which Waldemar had advised as being central, expensive and inspirational of confidence and considered with a whirling brain the minor woes of humanity other people's troubles had swarmed down upon him an answer to his advertised offer of help as sparrows flocked to scattered breadcrumbs mostly these were of the lesser order of difficulties but for what he gave in advice and help the advisor took payment in experience and knowledge of human nature still it was the hard-onest study and the helpful toil which held him to the task rather than the romance and adventure which he had hoped for and Waldemar had foretold until in a quiet street in Brooklyn of which he had never so much as heard there befell that which first of many events justified the prophetic Waldemar and gave average Jones a part in the greater drama of the metropolis the party of the second part was the honorable William Linder Mr. Linder sat at 5 p.m. of an early summer day behind Lock and Bolt the third floor front room of his ornate mansion on Brooklyn's Park Slope was dedicated to peaceful thought sprawled in a huge and softly upholstered chair at the window he took his ease in his house the chair had been a recent gift from an anonymous admirer whose political necessities the honorable Mr. Linder idly surmised had not yet driven him to reveal his identity its occupant stretched his shoeless feet as was his custom upon the broad windowsill flooded by the seasonal warmth of sunshine the while he considered the ripening mayoralty situation he found it highly satisfactory in the language of his inner man it was a cinch below in Kennard Street a solitary musician plotted his pretzel-shaped brass rested against his shoulder he appeared to be the scout of one of those prevalent and melancholious German bands which, under Brooklyn's easy ordinances are privileged to draw echoes of the past writhing from their forgotten recesses the man looked slowly about him as if appraising potential returns his gravid glance encountered the prominent feet in the third-story window of the Linder mansion and rested he moved forward opposite the window he paused he raised the mouthpiece to his lips and embarked upon a perilous sea of notes from which the tutored ear might have inferred that once popular diddy Egypt love of music was not one of Honorable William Linder's attributes an irascible temper was of all the instruments the B-flat trombone possesses the most nerve-jarring tone the master of the mansion leaped from his restful chair where his feet had ornamented the coping his face now appeared far out he leaned and roared at the musician below the brass throat blared back at him while the soloist, his eyes closed the ecstasy of art brought the first part of his selection to an excruciating conclusion half a tome below pitch before the chorus there was a brief pause for effect in this pause from Mr. Linder's open face a voice fell like a falling star although it did not cry excelsior its output of vocables might have been mistaken by a casual ear for that clarion call what the Honorable Mr. Linder actually shouted was get the hell out of here the performer upturned a mild and vacant face what you say? he inquired in a softly teutonic accent the Honorable William Linder made urgent gestures like a breakman go away move on the musician smiled reassuringly I already got paid for this he explained up went the brass to his lips again the tonal stairway which leads up to the chorus of Egypt rose in raspy wailfulness it culminated in an excessive, unendurable brazen shriek and the Honorable William Linder experienced upon the undefended rear of his person the most violent kick of a lifetime not always devoted to the arts of peace it projected him clear of the windowsill his last visible vision was the face of the musician the mouth absurdly hollow and pursed above the suddenly removed mouthpiece then an awning intercepted the politician's flight he passed through this penetrated a second and similar stretch of canvas shading the next window below and lay placid on his own front doorsteps with three ribs caved in and a variegated fracture of the collarbone by the time the descent was ended the German musician had tucked his brass under his arm and was hurrying in panic down the street his ears still ringing from the concussion which had blown the angry householder from his own front window he was intercepted by a running policeman where was the explosion demanded the officer explosion? I hear a noise in the large house on the corner replied the musician Dully the policeman grabbed his arm come along back you for a witness come on you and your horn it is not a horn explained the German patiently it is a B-flat trombone along with several million other readers Average Joan followed the lender bomb outrage through the scandalized headlines of the local press the perpetrator declared the excited journals had been skillful no clue was left the explosion had taken care of that the police with a characteristic stupidity of a core of former truck drivers and bartenders decorated with brass buttons and shields and without further qualification dubbed detectives vacillated from theory to theory their putty and pasteboard fantasies did not long survive the honorable William Lenders return to consciousness and coherence an inside job they had said the door was locked and bolted Mr. Lender declared and there was no possible place for an intruder to conceal himself at work then how would any human being guess what time to set it for demanded the politician in disgust when I never know myself where I'm going to be at any given hour of any given day then that Dutch horn player threw the bomb propounded the head of the detective bureau ponderously of course tossed it right up three stories and kept playing his infernal trombone with the other hand all the time you ought to be carrying a hod nevertheless the police hung tenaciously to the theory that the musician was involved chiefly because they had nothing else to hang to the explosion had been very localized the room not generally wrecked but the chair which seemed to be the center of the disturbance and from which the honorable William Lender had risen just in time to save his life was blown to pieces and a portion of the floor beneath it was not shattered the force of the explosion had been above the floor downward not up through the flooring as to murderously inclined foes Mr. Lender disclaimed knowledge of any the notion that the trombonist had given a signal he derided as in old sleuth pipe dream as time went on and clues came to nothing the police had no greater concern than quietly to forget according to custom limited powers with the release of the german musician who was found to be simple minded to the verge of hat witlessness public interest waned and the case faded out of current print average jones who was much occupied with a pair of blackmailers operating through faked photographs about that time had almost forgotten the Lender case when one day a month after the explosion waldemar dropped in at the aster court offices he found a changed jones much thinner and finer than when eight weeks before he had embarked on his new career at the newspaper owner's insistence the young man's color was less pronounced and his eyes though alert and eager showed rings under them you have found the work interesting I take it remarked his visitor rather drawled average jones appreciatively that was a good initial effort running down the opium pill mail order enterprise it was simple enough as soon as I saw the catch word in the wanted line anything is easy to a man who sees it return the older man sententiously the open eye of the open mind that has more to do with real detective work than all the deduction and induction and analysis ever devised it is the detective part that interests me most in the game but I haven't had much of it yet you haven't run across any promising ads lately have you waldemar's wide florid brow wrinkled I hadn't thought or dreamed of anything for a month but this infernal bomb explosion oh the lender case you're personally interested politically it makes lenders nomination certain, persecution attempted assassination he becomes a near martyr I'm almost ready to believe that he planted a fake bomb himself and fell out of a third story window to carry out the idea that's pushing realism rather far isn't it waldemar laughed there's the weakness unless we suppose that he under reckoned the charge of explosives they let the musician go didn't they yes there was absolutely no proof against him except that he was in the street below besides he seemed quite lacking mentally would that have been a sham? alienists of good standing examined him they reported him just a shade better than half-witted he was like a one-idea child his whole being comprised in his ability and ambition to play his B flat trombone well if I needed an accomplice said average jones thoughtfully I wouldn't want any better one than a half-witted man did he play well atrociously and if you know what a soul-shattering Blair exudes from a B flat trombone Mr. Waldemar lifted expressive hands within average jones' overstocked mind something stirred through repetition of the words B flat trombone somewhere they had attracted his notice in print and somehow they were connected with Waldemar then from amidst the hundreds of advertisements with which in the past weeks he had crowded his brain without clear it voiced the desire of an unknown gentleman on the near border of Harlem for the services of a performer upon that semi-exotic instrument one among several it had been cut from the columns of the universal on the evening which had launched him upon his new enterprise average jones made two steps to a bookcase took down a huge scrapbook from an alphabetized row and turned the leaves rapidly 300 East 100th you won't mind will you he said to Waldemar if I leave you unceremoniously recall the forgotten engagement asked the other rising yes no I mean I'm going to Harlem to hear some music 34th the nearest station isn't it thanks so long Waldemar rubbed his head thoughtfully as the door slammed behind the speeding advisor now what kind of tune is he on the track of I wonder he mused I wish it hadn't struck him until I'd had time to go over the lender business with him but while Waldemar rubbed his head in cogitation and the honorable William Linder in his Brooklyn headquarters breathed cheerily out of respect to his creaking rib average jones was following fate northward 300 East 100th street is a house decrepit with a disease of the aged its windowed eyes are roomy its sags backward on gnarled joints all its poor old bones creak when the wind shake it to average jones inquiring gays on this summer day it opposed the secrecy of a senile indifference he hesitated to pull at its bell knob lest by that act he should exert a disruptive force which might bring all the frail structure rattling down in ruin he forced himself through the summons the merriest ghost of a tinkle complained petulantly from within against his violence an old lady came to the door she was sleek and placid round and comfortable she did not seem to belong in that house at all average jones felt as if he had cracked open one of the grizzly locus shells which clung lifelessly to tree trunks and had found within a plump and prosperous beetle was an advertisement for a trombone player inserted from this house ma'am he inquired long ago said she am i too late then much it was answered nearly two months since i have never said the old lady with conviction seen such a frazzled lot of folks as b-flat trombone players the person who inserted the advertisement has left a month since could you tell where he went left no address his name was tellford wasn't it said average jones strategically might be said the old lady who had evidently formed no favorable impression of her ex lodger but he called himself ransom he had a furnished room the whole third floor furnished is it let now part of it the rear i'll take the front room without even looking at it yes you're a queer young man as to price whatever you choose you're a very queer young man are you a b-flat trombone player i collect them said average jones references said the old lady abruptly and with suspicion all varieties replied her prospective lodger cheerfully i will bring them tomorrow with my grip for five successive evenings thereafter average jones sat in the senile house awaiting personal response to the following advertisement which he had inserted in the universal wanted b-flat trombonist must have had experience as street player apply between 8 and 10 p.m. are 300 east 100th street between the ebb and flow of applicant musicians he read exhaustively upon the unaligned subjects of trombones and high explosives or talk with his landlady who proved to be a sociable person not disinclined to discuss the departed guest ransom his supplanter learned had come light and gone light two dress suitcases had suffice to bring in all his belongings he went out but little and then she opined with a disgustful sniff for purposes strictly alcoholic parcels came for him occasionally they were usually labeled glass handle with care oh, there was one other thing a huge easy armchair from carothers and company mighty luxurious for an 8 dollar lodger did he take that with him? asked average jones no after he had been here a while he had a man come in and box it up he must have sent it away but I never saw it go was this before or after the trombone players came? long after it was after he had picked out his man and had him up there practicing did you ever see this musician? drawled average jones in the slow tones of his peculiar excitement plus you yes I talked with him what was he like? he was a stupid old german I always thought he was a sort of natural yes average jones peered out of the window is this the man coming up the street? it surely is said the old lady now mr. jones if he commences his blaring and bladding and there will be no more music ma'am promised the young man laughing as she went out to the answer the doorbell the musician ushered in looked about him an expression of bewildered and childish surprise on his rabbit like face I am shleekling he murmured I come to play the B flat trombone glad to see you mr. shleekling said average jones leading the way upstairs sit down the visitor put his trombone down and shook his head with conviction it is the same room yes he observed but it is not the same gent no you expected to find mr. ransom here? I don't know mr. ransom I know only to play the B flat trombone mr. ransom the gentleman who employed you to play in the street in brooklyn mr. shleekling made large and expansive gestures it is a pleasure to play for such a gent he said warmly two dollars a day you have played often in canard street? I don't know canard street I know only to play the B flat trombone canard street in brooklyn where the fat gentleman told you to stop and fell out of the window a look of fear overspread the worn and innocent face I don't go there no more the police they take there but you had gone there before not to play no not to play are you sure? the german considered painfully there was no feet in the window he explained brightening upon that surprising phrase average jones pondered you were not to play unless there were feet in the window he said at length was that it? the musician assented it does look like a signal to show that lender was in do you know lender? I don't know nothing only to play the B flat trombone repeated the other patiently now sleeting said average jones here is a dollar every evening you must come here whether I am here or not there will be a dollar for you do you understand? by way of answer the german reached down and lifted his instrument to his lips no not that for bait average jones put it down not to play my B flat trombone that's the other innocently hurt the other gent did he make play here always? did he? drawled average jones and he listened he listened from out there the musician pointed to the other room how long? different times was the reply but he was always in the other room always and I play Egypt like this no said average jones as the others stretched out a hopeful hand he liked it Egypt said the german wistfully he said bravo encore beast sometimes nine sometimes ten times I play it the chorus and then he sent you home then sometimes something goes like that in the back room then he comes out and I may go home hum muttered average jones discontentedly when did you begin to play in the street? after a long time he take me away to brooklyn and tell me when you see the fetus in the window you play hard there was a long pause then average jones asked casually did you ever notice a big easy chair here? I do not notice nothing I play my B flat trombone and there is limitations were established but the old lady had something to add it's all true that he said she confirmed I could hear his racket I could hear his racket he confirmed I could hear his racket in the front room and mr. ransom working in the back and then after the old man was gone mr. ransom sweeping up something by himself sweeping? what was he sweeping? glass I think the girl used to find little slivers of it first in one part of the room then in another I raised the rent for that and for the racket the next thing said average jones is to find out where that big easy chair went from here can you help me there? the old lady shook her head all I can do is tell you the nearby truckmen canvas of the local trucking industry brought to light the conveyor of that elegant article of furniture it had gone average jones learned not to the mansion of the honorable william linder as he had finally hoped for the address not far from the navy yard in brooklyn to this address having looked up and gathered in the b-flat trombonist average jones led the way the pair lurked in the neighborhood of the ramshackle house watching the entrance until toward evening as the door opened to let out a tremulous wreck of a man palsied with the botch sleeting observed that is him he has been drinking once again average jones hurried the musician around the corner into concealment you have been here before to meet mr. ransom no where did he meet you to pay you your wages on some corner said the other vaguely then he took you to the big house and left you there urge jones no he left me on the street corner when the feet is in the window he says you play it comes to this he's called average jones intently looking the employee between his vacuous eyes ransom shipped the chair to plymouth street and from there to lender's house he figured that lender would put it in his study and do his sitting at the window in it and you were to know when he was there by seeing his feet in the window and give a signal when you saw him it must have been a signal to somebody pretty far off where he wouldn't have chosen so loud to play the B flat trombone I can play the B flat trombone louder as any man in the business asserted sleeting with proud conviction but what gets me pursuit average jones is the purpose of the signal whom was it for I don't know nothing said the other complacently I only know how to play the B flat trombone louder as any man in the world average jones paid him a lump sum dismissed him and returned to the cosmic club there to ponder the problem what next to accuse ransom the mysterious hirer of a B flat trombone virtuosity without sufficient proof upon which to base even a claim of cross examination would be to block his own game then and there for ransom could and very likely would go away leaving no trace who was ransom anyway and what relation if any did he bear to linder absorbed in these considerations he failed to notice that the club was filling up beyond its want a hand fell on his shoulder hello average haven't seen you at a saturday special night since you started your hobby it was birk-trum what's on average jones asked him shaking hands freak concert bellarding has trotted out part of his collection of medieval musical instruments and some professionals are going to play them wall demars at our table come and join us conversation at the round table was general and lively that evening and not until the port came on the prideful club port served only on special occasions and in wonderful delicate glasses did average jones get an opportunity to speak to wall demars side i've been looking into that lender matter a little indeed i've about given up hope you spoke of an old scandal in linders career what was the husband's name our but not i believe do you know what sort of looking man he was no i could find out from washington what was his business government employment i think in the scientific line perhaps drawl jones why yes i believe it was hmm suppose now lender should drop out of the combination who would be the most likely nominee marsden the man i've been grooming for the place a first class honorable fearless man well it's only a chance but if i can get one dark point cleared up he paused as a curious tingling note came from the platform where the musicians were tuning tip one of bellarding sweet dulcets the performer near them was a running a slow bass scale on a sort of two stringed horse fiddle of a strange shape average jones still untouched glass almost full of the precious port trembled and sang a little tentative response up up up mounted the thrilling notes in crescendo force what a racking sort of tone for all his sweetness said average jones his delicate and fragile port glass evidently shared the opinion for without further warning it split and shivered they used to show that experiment in the laboratory said bertram you must have just the accurate amount of liquid in the glass average move back you lunatic it's dripping all over you but average jones sat unheating the liquor dribbled down into his lap he kept his fascinated gaze fixed on a shattered glass bertram dabbed him with a napkin thanks bertram draw the beneficiary of this attention doesn't matter excuse me good night leaving his surprise companions he took hat and cane and caught a third avenue car by the time he had reached brooklyn bridge he had his campaign mapped out it all depended upon the opening question average jones decided to hit out and hit quick at the house near the navy yard he learned that his man was out so he sat up on the front steps while one of the highest priced wines in new york dried into his knees shortly before eleven a shuffling figure paused at the steps feeling for a key mr. Arbuthnot otherwise ransom said average jones blandly the man's chin jerked back his jaw dropped would you like to hire another b-flat trombonist pursued the young man who are you gas the other what do you want I want to know how you planted the glass bulb the sulfuric glass bulb you know in the chair that you sent to the honorable william linder so that he could be ordered by anything but the middle c-note of a b-flat trombone the man sat down weekly and bowed his face in his hands presently he looked up I don't care he said come inside at the end of an hour's talk Arbuthnot alias ransom agreed to everything that average jones proposed mind you he said I don't promise I won't kill him later it'll be some satisfaction to put him down and out politically you can find me here anytime you want me you say you'll see linder tomorrow tomorrow said average jones look in the next day's paper for the result setting his telephone receiver down the honorable william linder lost himself in conjecture he had just given an appointment to his tried and true but quite impersonal enemy mr. waldemar what can waldemar one of me ran his thoughts and who is this friend jones that he's bringing jones jones he tried it in three different accents without extracting any particular meaning therefrom nothing much in the political game he decided it was with a mingling of gruffness and dignity that he greeted mr. waldemar an hour later he went to average jones he acknowledged with a curt nod want a job for this young man waldemar he grunted not at present thank you return the newspaper owner mr. jones has a few arguments to present to you arguments repeat of the honorable william linder contemptuously what kind of arguments political arguments mayoralty to be specific to be more specific still showing why you should drop out of the race pin feather reformer a the politician turned to meet average jones steady gaze and mildly inquiring smile do you know anything of submarine mines mr. linder draw the visitor huh return the honorable william linder startled submarine mines explain the other mines in the sea you wish words of one syllable the lives of the honorable linder contracted you're in the wrong joint he said this ain't the naval college thank you a submarine mind is a very ingenious affair i've recently been reading somewhat extensively on the subject the main charge is some high explosives usually of the dynamite type above it is a small jar of sulfuric acid teeth working on levers surround this jar the levers project outside the mine when a ship strikes the mine one or more of the levers are pressed in the teeth crushed the jar the sulfuric acid drops upon the main charge and explodes it do you follow me i'll follow you as far as the front door said the politician balefully he rose if the charge were in a chair in the cushion of an easy chair will say on the third floor of a house in brooklyn the honorable william linder sat down again he sat heavily the problem would be somewhat different of course it would be easy to arrange that the first person to sit down in the chair would by his own way to blow himself up but the first person might not be the right person you know do you still follow me the honorable william linder made a remark like a fish now we have if you will forgive my professorial method continued average jones a chair sent to a gentleman of prominence from an anonymous source in this chair is a charge of high explosive and above it a glass bulb containing sulfuric acid the bulb we will assume is so safeguarded as to resist any ordinary shock of moving but when this gentleman sitting at ease in his chair is noticed by a trombonist placed for that purpose in the street below the dutch horn player cried the politician then it was him and i'll only an innocent tool interrupted average jones in his turn he had no comprehension of what he was doing he didn't understand that the vibration from his trombone on one particular note by the slide of the scale as in the chorus of egypt would shiver that glass and set off the charge all that he knew was to play the b-flat trombone and take his pay his pay the question leaped to the politician's lips who paid him a man named arbuthnot drawled average jones lenders eyes did not drop but a film seemed to be drawn over them you once knew a mrs. arbuthnot the thick shoulders quivered a little her husband her widower is in brooklyn shall i push the argument any further to convince you that you'd better drop out of the mayoralty race lender recovered himself a little what kind of game are you ringing in on me he demanded don't you think suggested average jones sweetly that considered as news this lenders caught the word out of his mouth news he roared a fake story ten years old that ain't news it's spite work even your dirty paper wouldn't rake that kind of muck up after ten years it'd be a boomerang you'll have to put up a stronger line of blackmail and bluff than that blackmail is perhaps the correct word technically admitted the newspaper owner but bluff there you go wrong you've forgotten one thing that arbuthnot's arrest and confession would make the whole story news we stand ready to arrest arbuthnot and he stands ready to confess there was a long tense minute of silence then what do you want the straight to the point question was an admission of defeat your announcement of withdrawal i'd rather print that than the arbuthnot story there was a long silence finally the honorable lender dropped his hand on the table you win he declared currently but you'll give me the benefit in the announcement of bad health caused by the shock of the explosion to explain my quitting wall demar it will certainly make it more plausible assented the newspaper owner with a smile lender turned on average jones did you dope this out young fellow he demanded yes well you've put me in the down and out club alright and i'm just curious enough to want to know how you did it by abstaining returned average jones cryptically from the best wine that ever came out of the cosmic club's cellar end of the b-flat trombone recording by alan winteroud boomcoach.blogspot.com