 Cory Kahane joins us. She recently appeared on a late show with Stephen Colbert You were one of the first comedians that he put on the show early early comedian. Yeah, yeah Cory Kahane was a Haney. I will already it's starting. It's already starting Kahane Kahane Kahane was the nutcase who you know Myer Kahane myer Kahane no relation to my or supposedly way way back There's some kind of eighth cousin removed Cory Kahane thanks Cory Kahane mr. Douglas What can I do to talk you into this huppa? Nobody gets that Little green acres Cory Kahane that was mr. Haney. Yes. I was doing mr. I get it. I get it Yeah, Cory Kahane recently appeared on the late show with Stefan Colbert You were one of the first Comedians early on that says a lot and you were a hit on the 2016 season of America's Got Talent You've been featured in Catskills on Broadway, which I'm gonna ask you a lot about I want to talk about Malzee Lawrence Freddie Roman and Dick Capri sure Cory has been seen on the late show with David Letterman You performed a record seven times on the late late show with Craig Ferguson one of those performances I called you know you called me after Letterman and You you teased me it was really cute. You said maybe you did both. It's possible But after Letterman it was it aired on young Kippur and you said too bad none of your fans Actually see it and I cracked up it aired on young Kippur. Yeah, and I hardly knew you We were friends. I think on Facebook. I just watching good. God. She's really funny and good And I just reached out to you kind of anonymously that that's how we kind of became friends, right? Maybe deeper friends, but I certainly knew you in LA. I mean, I always admired you and thought you were amazing Yeah, but I didn't want to be your friend until I saw how well you did on letter I thought okay. This is somebody I worth my time. I remember there was I sat on your lap once Yeah, and there was there was a flirtation. You have no recollection of that It was a low chair too. So it really forced me to really dig in deep with the lap sitting. Are you serious? Yeah, it was we were doing something. It was like um It was like some panel show in Los Angeles. I'm trying to think of what it was where we like um Kindler was there and you were on my lap. I sat on your lap. Well, you're married. Yes You were at the time too. You were at the time too. I Would remember a woman sitting on my lap sat on your lap for a little bit Did I ask you when you did I ask you what you wanted for Hanukkah? Little girl, I would remember I think I think my sitting on on your lap was a gentle Sort of a flirtation and I don't think you picked up on it Why you were busy at that you had a lot going you were working for Bill Maher That and I you know what here's the thing that happened that you flirted with me totally, but you're married I know but you know, you can still I'm not dead. I can flirt. I see I you were very You know committed to my wife. Yes. Yes. I didn't look at other women. I Was totally devoted. I think you're so funny and my husband thinks you're so funny I think I would have been forgiven for for the flirtation Okay, let me um Are you're throwing me off my game. I'm so sorry. Here's what happened though because If you sat on my lap now Anyway, there might be knee problems. Oh Dear this is I was I thought this was gonna be different. Yeah, I never flirted with women and I a lot of guys had acts To get laid I have an act To push women away because I never wanted women to walk up to me after a show I didn't want to be tempted into really with the Jeffrey Dahmer bit. I mean that was that way back I mean that really was that was a panty moisture By the way, Cory's album you'll come back to do the show, right, right You want to dismiss me? No. No. No. No, I'm thinking why hasn't she been on the show? I TV clean we're gonna talk speaking of panty moisteners We're gonna talk about TV clean seven appearances on the late-late show with Craig Ferguson. You can see her on the view Fox and friends and the moms She was named best comedian in New York City by backstage and best feeling Having trouble saying the word female today Best broad comedian is that bad? No, I love broad. Okay. There's a great Bobby Slaton I was opening for Bobby and he says to this woman Where's this broad from cuz I hate the word broad And he goes, yes, see what how does broad sound now? And he didn't say see what no, I know I love Bobby. I do too. He's he's been going through a rough time We could talk about that. You know, I called him when his wife died. Yeah, the day his wife died He goes, oh, you mean you called him without knowing no I know I called you just jealous cuz it's my wife and not yours And I started laughing so hard Corey Kahane Kehani Corey Kehani Are you mad at me? Not at all Corey Kehani. It's like Shapiro, Shapiro, and they change it on you all the time me Corey Kehani Also teaches at the Manhattan Comedy School, which is run by our mutual friend our mutual friend Andy angle And I have filled in for you. Yes And I taught a class at the Manhattan Comedy School We should plug the Manhattan Comedy School. You are a great teacher You are somebody I should study with Seven times on the late late show with Craig Ferguson Stephen Colbert David Letterman so few comics Have been on both Letterman and Stephen Colbert that speaks volumes to what you know about comedy can comedy be taught I don't I don't think comedy can be taught, but I think if you are funny I can help you Shape it into a five-minute set for TV Well, I can yes. Well, that's a separate thing that I mean that that I'm really good at grabbing the five minutes and cutting the fat Um, but that I I mean that's for people who are a little further along But I if you come to me and you're funny and you've got some funny thoughts I can help you shape it into a five-minute set that can be you know part of the bucket list You know of life Or you know see if it's something that you want to pursue There are two different things I mean one is your first time on stage where you're going to kill because you invite your whole family and friends whatever and the other is Really, uh, that's something that took me years to learn which is just that I mean every uh every ah every mmm Has to be considered and thought out right right when you're doing for four minutes 60 seconds Yeah, it's very important and then how does that inform your club act? How does it inform do you find that once you do a tv shot? Then you bring it back into the clubs. Yeah It remains as tight. You don't loosen it up anymore. Do you there's a period where you feel like? Oh my god I have no material because I cut everything that needed to be cut out of there and nothing needs to come back in I don't need to put back in the extraneous stuff Um, do you find that once you cut it down and you bring it back into the clubs It improves your timing that you're able then to focus more on the performance And the pauses and you listen more to the audience because it's so tight you fill up the space by really dancing with the audience Sometimes I think I think when I've really cut a bit down to it's it's perfect kernel core gem if you will that When I then put it back in my act, which is more fluid like for a 45 minute set It feels stilted. It feels too polished. It doesn't feel like stand-up I think stand-up in its best is a sloppy art form So when you tighten it to the point where it's perfect for four and a half minutes for a tainto for a letterman for a cold bear It it's great and it's great for that moment and it fits perfectly, but I think that It's a little stilted when you then put it back in the acts so tight and neat What do you mean it's best as a sloppy art form? I think the moments that I've enjoyed comedy the most when I'm watching it watching it And no no undoing it is when it's been sloppy when something has just I've never heard this before Especially from somebody who teaches comedy Yeah, but I but that is something I I really stress to students that it does You know, I'd rather you not be perfect I'd rather you just be present because if you're present and you're already a funny person You know chances are That joke's gonna work Sloppy as in Over speaking a joke Not having it phrased properly What do you mean by sloppy? I'm saying that if if you if you do a joke the same every single night I don't think you're a real comic if you I mean exactly the same every single But if you if you alter it a little better or at that moment You feel like punching the beginning much more than the end or you feel like you know You feel like just sort of letting the end like slide not even Annunciate it that well I mean if you play around with jokes every time that they become they they have a life Don't they can't you kill the joke eventually eventually you should kill but I know what I'm saying is if you play with a joke too much On stage. Yes, you can you can there's many cases where I've I've messed with a joke too much And it's no longer funny and I threw it away for sure. Do you have it written down somewhere in its? platonic form The way I Catalog jokes is it's just like one word. It's like, you know, I'll say I'll say like girl scout cookies or something like that or When you do Colbert Letterman, do you type out the set word for word, but I have to send it in for uh Standards and practices and do you perform it word for word? Almost almost word for word the nice when I was doing Ferguson a lot they never even asked me to I didn't even have to like tape the set I just wrote it out for them. They were very they were very trusting But that was peter lasalli the producer who went to elementary school with hand frank Oh my god. Yeah, and I think he was on the kinder train I think that's how he escaped. I think he was on the kinder train to want to that went to england Oh, what is what was the kinder train the kinder was kinder children there was a train they went from The netherlands, I think it I think they you know, they took the boat and then they were on the train in england it was There was a there was a train where kids got out Had he had he stayed he would have been the published writer like and frank maybe possibly Yes, that's not funny. I know. I don't know. Is his son Also a producer because I see I don't know I met him at a party and I had just seen france alameda's Documentary called when stand-up stood out, which is the greatest documentary about stand-up comedy boston It's a love letter to the boston comedy scene if you love comedy I think I saw it. It's the one about nix and yeah, yeah, and now that steven writes big, uh, you know Hail to yeah, and it's about peter lasalli. Yes coming to visit his son in college because boston has all those colleges And he popped into a comedy club He saw steven write And put him on the tonight show and single-handedly ruined the boston comedy scene when that happened it went from An art form in boston a brotherhood to You got to get on the tonight show. So when I met the son at a party. I said you ruined the boston comedy scene and I try to explain how and he just was Doe faced just not interested. I said well, I guess I won't do the and frank material either I don't know it could be argued that maybe Stephen Wright getting tonight. She'll put everybody more on their game. Yeah sharp in their act. I'm not sure And and if you listen to barry crimmins and kevin meany talk about the barracks It was time for you couldn't continue to live the way they were living they were gonna So you teach a class I filled in for you I believe the comedy can be taught. I think a certain type of comedy can be taught I don't think don rickles can be taught or robin williams or jonathan winders But I think that so maybe what we're saying is the joke writing can be taught certain joke writing and performing I think you can learn how to be a pretty good comedian and if you stick with it long enough You can become a great comedian as long as you're sick enough to want to do it Right, you have to have that drive and not everybody does I mean there's there's there's a category of comedian who comes to me who has been told every pass over Every Thanksgiving. Oh my god. You're so funny. You should be comedian and then I get them in my class And it's like, you know, those people Those people did you a disservice right? And I said in your class remember gordy. There's a young kid named gordy. He drinks. He's about 24 And I said to him in front of everybody in the class Because I was filling in so I was kind of reckless in my opinions I pushed Gordy I said gordy's gonna make it He's just gonna make it because he's a goofball. He doesn't give a crap He doesn't care He's young and I can just see that he's working really hard and then a year later I see him barking people into The Greenwich comedy club And I just gave him a big hug and a kiss So I'm on the street barking comedic because you got to go through those And I remember saying in the class, you know Unless you're willing to get up there every night and then you see him barking audiences and You know comedy comedy come in come see comedy He's gonna make it. He may not be the funniest guy in the world But he's got the bug he's got the bug that's what you need the but the bug is more important than the genius, right? I think they're equally important. When did you start? Well, it's a two-part story. I mean 29 was when I started 1929. So the depression the the stock market crashed And it was between strippers I You started at the age of fanny brice You know, they call her a stand-up and I I get very frustrated. She did little sketches She didn't do stand-up. I was 29 and I I was by By comedy standards that was old. Yes Yes 29 Single mom divorced single mom with the Manhattan rent. It was the dumbest thing you could possibly do So why did you do it? I I did it on a whim. I did stand up at an open mic and I said It went it was so fulfilling And I said, okay, let this be a maybe this could be a hobby. I don't know. I thought oh, I'll do that'll be my hobby I'll just stand up once a week and you know that lasted for two weeks and then it was then it was an obsession But the first time I tried I was 19 And I oh I I did it in new york. I was it was at a place called good times. I don't know if you remember that club Um, and the very first time I was on stage. I got to the east side east side. It was where pat benatar was discovered and um I did stand up and the first time I was on stage. I got passed at the club And um and people were like, oh my god, where have you been? You're you know, you're gonna be big and uh that very first night I went out with paul riser He ordered a french fries with gravy that I'd never seen that You know, he was you know, he was hitting on me a little bit I was hot once and did you sit on his lap did not sit on his lap I was really intimidated because he was very polished and uh, I said, why are you putting who puts gravy? Because he was a nice jewish boy. I was like, who puts gravy on french? He goes, it's gonna be huge You know, because it was right before it was right before his the movie was coming out his oh diner Yes, it was right. Oh my god It was like diner came out like a month later But so I went I did stand up It was amazing the first night and then I came back and I bombed and I bombed five consecutive times And I I the stage fright that gripped me after bombing five times. I I was I was destroyed I couldn't go back up I'd go to like, you know, I'd go to like the open mic at The catch rising star and I just sit in the back and they'd call kori kahane And I would just I don't know who that is I just said I couldn't get up And so I was gripped with stage fright for 10 10 years and I'm really 10 years at stage fright or a Anger that you had a way to know just utter stage fright Because you had bombed One bomb did it five five bombs. I killed they passed me at the club. It was like a lot of you know It was like exciting. It was you know, beginner's luck. Sometimes people have that that right away And then I bombed five times Not all at the same club at different places and then it was like I I I can't do this anymore and then I just Do you know who Seth Godin is? No, he's one of the great marketing gurus. He's He's amazing. I recommend him. He wrote purple cow and tribes and I just read a book called the dip and he said Exactly what you experienced is what everybody goes through and It weeds at the week or the Undetermined the dip in other words, there's the beginner's luck in any pursuit in a business Or a souffle a souffle times the first time as wow, you know dating He says, you know you fall in love and then you hit the dip and the dip You either quit it you either quit what you're doing or you you work your way through the dip And if you work your way through the dip He says you quit the things that aren't working and you Skyrocket to the top you chose to quit But had you stuck with it What would have happened? I don't know. Who knows? So what did you didn't work out that way? I know that when I returned to it at 29 I had a thicker stick. I had a thicker skin. You had a child. I had a kid. I had divorce under my belt. I had You know, I wasn't um I wasn't the same Sort of daughter son Daughter. Oh, that's that's easier. My daughter was nine I mean, I you know every one who knew me from the beginning nose aerial So you were a single mom starting comedy You fell in love with tom hanks. He was a medical student who quit to do comedy. I wore polka dots No, whoever I slept with in stand-up. No, I'm never helped me with my career I'm thinking of the Sally field movies I know but specifically throughout my career if there was anybody that was remotely helpful I would that would not be someone I was attracted to I wish I could have you know, I wish I could have been with less integrity You were attracted to people who could do you no good. Yes. That's why you sat on my lap Yes, probably and and you know, it's funny like sometimes when I kill I'll say is anybody here in show business and nobody will clap and I'll be like that's why I killed Because nobody can do anything for me. Well, but look at you. No, I know I mean you have you are in the middle Of a terrific career a terrific career. What do you mean by tv clean? Why did you call it tv clean? Well, because people are always asking if you know, are you clean as far as comedian and I'm like, I'm tv clean You know, because I can the subject matter I can talk about on a late night talk show may not be clean enough for a cruise What do you mean by that? Well on a late night talk show I can allude to you know Oral sex without saying, you know blowjob if you will And that makes it tv clean I find this fascinating. There's such a thing called tv clean. You know what I'm talking about It's I've been all my life. The whole thing is very confusing though because after 10 p.m. Now you can say dick You know, I see yeah, like he's a dick But on the colbert I had a joke and they bleep the word You know, I was like that was a dick move and they bleep that like really they bleep that cbs bleeped And it was uh, you know, it was on after 11. So the standards and practices thing is is still very confusing Somebody has to justify their paycheck. There's a bleeper who has to get paid. You create work when you curse Seriously It's I'm sure that dick move was approved by the segment producer, right? And I think steven has said it. I think steven said dick move on tv, but Somebody at cbs Standards and practices a lawyer has to earn their living and you know what I think it's great I do who cares Who cares if they bleep it? Yeah, the audience knows That you're saying dick move, right? They they bleep dick instead of move, right? Yeah, I think that's great Kind of kind of run the joke. I would have changed if I knew they're gonna bleep it the audience laughed in the audience laughed But I would have said I You know in the joke I say I could see myself making some dick moves now I would if I knew they were bleeping and I would have said I could see myself asking a lot of questions I bring this up because a lot of people think I'm a boulderizer You know a pearl clutcher somebody who? Says, you know, we have to watch what we say and we have to say I'm not for censorship, right a lot of people misunderstand what I'm talking about We are learning what happens when people say whatever they want donald trump I think watching what you say Just being a little measured At a dinner party with sophisticated people You watch what you say And I don't know if I'm on board with that. Well, all I'm saying is okay And I don't want to have this argument because I I have it all the time on this You want to talk about cat skills on Broadway? I mean when I hang out with those guys those guys, you know, like the melsey lorence and the and the and the dick capri Dick capri in front of your room before you tell me that but I love the politically incorrect conversations that they have You know and the things that they say they're they're totally inappropriate, but they're so it's like they're being themselves Then the first night I did stand-up comedy This is about speech and tv clean the first night I did comedy freddy roman dick capri Had just gotten back from a dick chap roast. They were wearing tuxedos. It was danger fields And I thought my god, what a great life To be comedians they're in tuxedos. They did the dick chap roast dick chap was a sports caster This is the life for me and I told them I'm gonna do stand up to this my first time And they both I have it somewhere they both gave me their number They looked at me and said you're a writer not a performer I hadn't even gone up yet They just looked at you and they looked at me and they said if you have any jokes We'll pay you to write some jokes, but trust me you're a writer not a performer. I never forgot this It was the first night. I my first night at danger fields. I got on at three in the morning I go up And they said to me you're too dirty You got to work clean. You got to work clean. You got to work clean What year was this like 83 84? Really and was danger fields just the club that was letting people that was asking people to work cleaner Then say catch or no, I I just no I don't know I was it was dick No dick capri and freddy roman said you're too dirty They watch me they watch me go up. Yeah, no, they're they're they're very clean. They're very clean and then but then I watched dick capri He went up like at four in the morning and did a joke about a paraplegic farting a dart and I don't know what the joke was I'll have to ask Jackie the joke let me make a note of that it's a joke about a quadriplegic Winning a bar bet by farting a dart into a bull. I could probably text dick capri and ask him Well, later, but later. I would love to have dick on the show not dick capri just some dick I think I think he would be glad to do it. He's here in the summer. So this is a good time Okay, so you hung out with him. He did cat skills on broadway, which was like this landmark show Celebrating the borscht belt. I I filled in for The token female that's in the show a couple of times. That's all that happened. You see the Impressionist, right? Yeah, but they used different they used I mean, they'd use maryland michaels. They use Um, another louis louise duart, right? Uh, she was the other female comic and uh Maybe they used a lane boozler or they thought about using lane. I I filled in a couple of times But you know that show was I mean it was just it was an excuse to have the four guys to stand up on broadway What was clever about that show was that they knew if they bust in their audience They could pack the place and so they spent the money and they bust people in from these retirement communities in new jersey And westchester and long island and they were packed And that word got out You gotta see this show. You gotta see the show marketing. Yeah, do you understand marketing? In hindsight Seth goden is is the marketing guru. So I've somebody said read him. So I started reading him. It's kind of interesting I'll take a look marketing. But would you think of doing, you know, rob becker I know defending the caveman. I know, do you know how he marketed that? No He rob becker is a great comedian. David letterman called him He has one of the great stories the phone rings one night. He had done an evening at the improv I know you did letterman, which is a go ahead. Go ahead. But to get a call from david letterman He looked him up Got his number personally got an invitation personally from david letterman to come do the show It was probably back when it was the later show when it was the show that came on after his I mean, that's when he was like hands-on 12. Yeah, the NBC show. Yeah, exactly I mean You get a call from david letterman out of the blue To come do the show. Yeah I mean, there's no honor greater than that. I mean, my god And then he went on and did a one-man show rob becker defending the caveman And he marketed it very well. He said it was about men and women You know, it was basically men are from Uranus and women are from your vagina, whatever that thing But you know, it is what it is And what he did is wherever he went he would invite Psychiatrists and psychologists and marriage counselors to the show Give them free tickets And that was like marketing genius. This was before the internet I never would have thought of anything like that. Oh, I thought you're gonna say like he went to like You know, what are those clubs that you know, the men are members of like the Kiwanis Club or the Elks club, I would think that's where he was giving away free tickets No, he gave it specifically to what I guess you now call the taste makers the influencers This was 20 years ago. You give them to Shrinks and the shrinks would say, you know, I saw this show you you should go see and they would tell their clients I hope he gave it to people with a big practice Yeah, but is that so they were busing people in? Yeah TV clean you do cruise ships the last time you and I communicated I said come do my show come do my show And you said I can't I'm on a cruise ship I find it really interesting Which you just said that you can do jokes on television that you cannot do on a cruise ship There are jokes I can do on a cruise ship that I can't do on television that are slightly politically incorrect Sometimes what do you mean? um I have this joke. It's you know, you probably won't love it. I talk about how you know The way I got my father to vote for Obama Was I told him that he was in Shawshank Redemption. It's one of his favorite movies I can't do that on tv But but I can do it on the cruise ship because they're all you know, they're all you know It doesn't mean you're racist if you laugh at that joke. You're looking at an 80 year old jewish guy I was like, hey, I love Sydney point. Yeah, I like Morgan Freeman. Is it the same guy? It's the same guy dad It's the same guy. You could do that on tv though. Maybe the way I just couched it. I could yeah, of course you could It's a sweet understanding joke of Right, but the way I get into the joke is I say I have to explain something my father thinks every black actor is Sydney point He's always like that's Sydney point and I'm like that's Wesley Snipes, you know We go through all lit and all that's opera, you know And um You know, so it's clearly it's it's part of that whole they all look alike. You know, I mean, that's the core of the joke Yeah, you're not saying it. You're saying your father is a dinosaur. I mean, you know And this is all based on actually something happening where my father thought the guy was Sydney point. Yeah, and it was Morgan Freeman and I I kind of culled the joke from that Bruce Murnoff You know Bruce mutual friend. He does cruise ships. Yes has some of the funniest stories about cruise ships I've never played a cruise ship never in my life. Have I played a cruise ship? It's never going to happen I remember a comic named paul clay This was in the 80s the cleanest comic in the world Everybody loved paul He got thrown off a cruise ship. I said if they're throwing you off a cruise ship ain't no way So who I don't work on the lines where it's that difficult I you know paul clay probably got thrown off of disney or something where there was a lot of kids I specifically choose cruise lines that people would never take kids on because it's too hard I don't want to entertain people who are five years old and people that are 95. It's too much work Where have you cruised? I do mostly those five star high-end you know The $10,000 a week cruises and you know 10,000 they pay you $10,000 No, no, that's they pay to be on the ship 10 to 20,000. That was a week I go on I go on ships where the people are on for 21 days for 21 days. It's it's insane. These people have I mean, they just they don't even know what to do with their money and You know, it's it's all the booze is included all the caviar is included They have you know the most spectacular linens and balconies. Those are the ships that I do because I I prefer Performing for an elderly crowd that has a lot of money because there's no kids and I also you know I know those people I grew up you wouldn't know but I grew up around a lot of privilege What do you mean? I went to boarding school in Switzerland. Nobody knows that. I mean, it doesn't it's not a parent for my act or even my voice But I do know what fork to use. I speak french fluently So I I fit in with that like I know what outfit. Why were you in the boarding school in switzerland? Do you want to talk about this? No, I'm happy to talk about it. I mean, you know, my my my father You know could afford it and my parents were going through a really messy divorce and it was It was what you it's what people of privilege do. What did your father do? He had an optical company And he you know Sort of kind of invented some things. He's you know, there was always a debate about His patent always got stolen snazz. He kind of hit my father invented the scratch resistant Plastic lens That you put in glasses not even not even scratch proof because that's but he invented the scratch resistant Plastic lens that he was in glasses and the patent was taken by Bosch and I mean they they they aren't they? They screwed him and they took it. But are they German or Boschland? I'm journalist. What's where are they from? Well, Bosch and loam, uh, I don't I don't know where they're from My father worked for a company called American optical which was absorbed by Bosch and loam. Okay So your dad was a lens maker My dad was some really a salesman But he had good ideas and I think when he was in china He said you think you could make this and he had kind of an idea and some guy made it and let me ask Your question. Why don't we stop tape sure you go home and get your father in here My father passed away get even better When did he pass away? Uh, about a year and a half ago. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough Is you like him? I did I did he was he was you know, he was he's where I got the comedy. He was a very funny guy My father was the cheapest man in America It was like uncat like we'd sit down at a restaurant and he my sister He would look at us and he would say no tricks like What tricks no tricks. I like what we're gonna order the whole menu Ten shrimp cocktails. No tricks. No tricks It was this thing, you know, and we'd go to movie theater hunch down. You don't have to be enough to be so tall hunch down Why you gotta be so tall He was successful though. He was successful and smart Yeah, and you got sent to a boarding school Quite frankly more interested in your father. My father was a cool guy. I'm always interested in people who don't do stand up Your father Had a sense of humor. Yes Did he watch you do stand up? He did did he enjoy watching you do stand it took him a while You know in the beginning like many female comics. I was dirty. I was very dirty when I started You know a lot of girl comics are dirty at the beginning so that you sort of put the audience at ease Like no, no, no, you don't have to worry about me. I'm gonna be okay up here My father watched me so much in the beginning and he was like, you're you're just too dirty to do anything and I remember Isn't that sexist for a father to tell a daughter Not to be I think he was more worried that I would never be able to make it on tv But isn't it sexist because I've been told I have a friend who has a daughter Who is interested in comedy And my friend said to his daughter Don't be dirty And he the daughter said that's sexist. Yeah, men can get up there and talk about bodily functions Why can't women and my friends said I don't talk about bodily functions Not all men. No, I don't like schaeological humor though. I yeah, I mean it's not my type of thing. It's easy. Yeah But I think I think people who listen by far away people who listen to this show think you're scatological Me saying I don't like scatological humor Are laughing at you aren't laughing at me I do like it. I don't I don't think it's clever. I think it's lazy. You mean like Yeah, well, I mean didn't louis ck have this whole bit about how you know farts are funny I'm not going to deny it. They are funny. Well, you've had kids, right? Yeah Yeah Babies when they fart Start laughing I mean, it's just really fun. They know it's funny. Yeah Anyway, go ahead I I guess what I'm saying is I give my dad a pass because I know where he was coming from He was my father was always worried that how was I going to make a living? You know when my marriage what how are you going to make a living? Right, you know I mean even I was really I had a really good career when I met my husband. What were you doing? I I mean Mike. No, I'm the this is my second husband He met me when I was taping an HBO special And uh, you know my career I had I was in development I was on the way up you were a catch and My my father was really proud that I got this deal But he was more proud that I was dating a warrior Because he just felt like he didn't have to worry You had a career before stand-up I had a career. What were you doing before you start comedy at 29? I was director of catering for the Yeah millennial millennium hotel on 44th street And then and then the Algonquin was the last job. You worked the Algon- excuse me. Sorry You worked the Algonquin after I uh after I started doing stand-up I I had to pick like a little bit less pressured Hotel and the Algonquin was was my last job. I did my interview with Doug Stanhope at the Algonquin But the Algonquin round table. Yeah, Dorothy Parker Ben Benchley and Harpo they all hung out with the Algonquin and they have that special table and Bob Saget every Christmas We have a tradition where we go to the Algonquin And finger each other I love there's a lot of great stories about working. I mean I'd be in the you know, we had the club We had the nightclub when I worked there So I'd be in the elevator with Andrea Markovicci. Who's he? Andrea Markovicci is a is a big name camp racing or she's also done Broadway and um You know, she'd just be like warming up in the elevator and I couldn't say anything to her because she couldn't talk You know, um Feinstein would be there Michael Feinstein Michael Feinstein. Is it Feinstein? No, I'm just whatever He's he's uh, he was he was a fixture there Catering to me is well that must be joyous Well No, it was a tremendous amount of hours. I mean, I what did you do in catering? I was director of catering. I ran everything What does that mean? I mean, I you did weddings weddings Meetings parties bar mitzvahs. So I would come in I say I want to book a room at the Algonquin My wife's turning 50. I want to do a party for her And so you would sit down and go over the numbers Yeah, we'd I'd sell them a party and then I'd run the party and I'd create the party, but you know Catering was a I mean, I'd had to be there sometimes seven in the morning. You're producing shows Oh produce. Yeah, exactly. It was it was theater. Absolutely. And the greatest thing was to return Later and occasionally just be the featured performer and I'd come in and do 15 minutes What do you mean you would return like sometimes I'd go back to the millennium millennial The the millennial the millennial hotel on 44th street. I'd do an event there because they had a lot of catering There's a hotel called the millennial. It's called the millennium millennial because it was called the millennial It would have started and then it would have said we quit when I work nobody's hang on Let me do this tired bit that's going to insult my listeners The millennial hotel, right? Let's describe it Oh, it it starts off with great intentions. They run into a little trouble. They call their parents and say We're not booking rooms aren't don't we just we we have a hotel. Don't we just fill it up automatically? We're the millennial. See I'm making fun of millennials. They wear pajama bottoms Some I have a millennial heck of what? I know they eat cereal for dinner. Yeah That's too sweet Cereal for dinner. They do see that's that's why you're successful. Why because I come from a place of hate I'm attacking the millennials. They drive me crazy. I mean, but I have a 33 year old daughter I mean I I I have how do you have a I have a millennial who's you know, a complete, you know I've has been sucking on the You know on on the tit if you will well, she's sucking on something else right now. I can tell you that right I'm sorry But you know, oh I claim reality television. I think my daughter is that horrible what I just said She's sucking on something else right now. Yeah, no Not horrible. Okay Go ahead. What? You're 33 year old. You look 33 or is that sexist? Thank you. No, I'll take that. Absolutely take it But they grew up watching Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and and all these, you know Everything was about the bling and the bling and the you know, give me buy me bring me take me that was their whole Thing I called the millennial psychosis. I've talked about this on the show forever Because I have millennials My kids are great they really are because but anyway I don't know why they think life should be easy they grew up Everything was horrible. My daughter I called my daughter a Gorbachev baby Because I honestly thought it was safe to bring a kid into this world because of Gorbachev That put you at ease. Yes The port wine stain It's such a great except the port wine stain as though that's going to make it look any better It's a better one. It's a very nice one But uh, let's go back to catering all right I think Richard Lewis's father was a caterer Jeffrey Russ grew up in catering in new work You're catering. I think that Teaches you everything you need to know about show business I think show business is catering is the very similar It's identical. It allowed me to be a producer when I need it to be But I don't like to be a producer in in in the field of of stand-up It takes away all of my creativity. I don't want it to be about business Sometimes it has to be because you know, you have to say I'm not gonna do this for a thousand bucks Yeah, how many years were you a caterer? about 12 All total because I I mean I if you said you used to come back and do stand-up When you say come back were you No longer I was in food service for 12 years. I started as a waitress But you know I I built up to be a director of catering Okay, so you're the director of catering. Are you then doing stand-up and keeping your job as director of catering There was an overlap of three years. So would you come back when you say you would come back And go up and do stand-up. I mean come back come back to the job. Yes. I would have it so wired I would you know, I would give Carlos and Jose and Fernando and extra $50 run the party And then I'd go and run and do sets and then I'd be there at the end to shake it wasn't that a great event Oh that yeah, everything went so great. I'm so and then I would take the tip and I would you know Split it up with Carlos and Fernando and all you know, did you do stand-up at the events? No, you never know and I got caught eventually I mean, you know The general manager of the hotel occasionally popped in to check on a party and I wasn't there Where was I? And you know, were you nervous about getting caught? We stressed out you didn't care. I was I was always nervous about getting caught, but You were good at what you did The stuff worked, you know, it's I mean, I had it really wired by then You were confident that I had good people and they ran it the way I wanted it run And how many hours a day were you catering? I mean every day was different I mean if I had a breakfast and you know, like, you know, Morgan Stanley was in for a couple of meetings I'd have to be there at seven. Did you miss it? Do you miss catering? No No, it was the most I mean, I cannot tell you how many hours I would work. I mean, it was just crazy I didn't see my child. I actually think I saw my kid more once I did stand-up Interesting Also, the problem is, you know, I also had a food background because I was a waitress and then I was Then I went in the kitchen and I cooked and then eventually they kept moving me front of the house because I kind of I'm a good leader and If a chef told me that something couldn't be done, I was a bitch I would put my I would put an apron over my suit and I would go behind the line and I would make I would say see it could be done and you know, I it was always there was always conflict between me and the chefs That's good. It was it was good. It was good. Sometimes Are you telling me? He's saying take a break. Take a break. Yeah, really? I'm it's just getting interesting. I wanted to talk about Jeremiah Tower and your father and give me five minutes. I want to find out about the swiss boarding school Oh god All right, go ahead You lived in switzerland Yeah, france switzerland and england and you were in a boarding school. I was in two co-ed Uh, yeah, they were both co-ed I went to one in england. I got kicked out You went you went to a boarding school in england. I got kicked out and then you know the next stop was switzerland You how do you get kicked out of a british boarding school? Those are just I mean, you don't have anything gets you kicked out Was it did it have a religious affiliation? No, I just I I was the youngest person they ever Accepted at the school and I caused a ruckus as they like to say what was them at school It was called brockwood park brockward. And were you going to school with royalty? Um, my boyfriend's father was the ambassador to yugoslavia. He did not get kicked out. I got kicked out Because he was supposedly a good kid until I went was he american or british he was uh He was he lived his whole life in in the uk, but his parents were yugoslavia Sending your kid to a boarding school I sent my daughter to one I don't think it's a bad thing But then you're not raising your kid You know I think sometimes Our job as parents is to keep kids safe I mean, yes, you're supposed to do all these other things. You're supposed to you know educate them and you know nurture them and love them But prime, you know your primary job is to keep them safe And if and if you're in a position and my parents were not in a great place, right? They couldn't keep us safe and putting us in boarding school kept us safe My daughter was acting out with you know with drugs and alcohol I see I see and she said mommy. I think I should change schools and I said, yeah But if I put you into another school, what's to stop you're gonna take a you live in Manhattan You're gonna take a cab you're gonna take a subway the friends are not gonna change So the boarding school worked out for her it was amazing for I mean I sent her to a wonderful boarding school That was like hippie ish. It was in ohai california near santa barbra You know, there's four boarding schools there. I saw her a lot because I was I was I was in a deal with la So I was always in la I saw her a lot And they graduated she wouldn't have graduated if I left I went to rehab in ohai. It's called no hi Kill me somebody please just make it a clean shot to the head Puns puns. Let's take a break. Yeah, so I can just shower after that no hi joke I'm sorry. Hey, do you need me to fill in for you at the Manhattan comedy school for andy engel? Yeah, I think we should just do puns only this week How do people take classes at Manhattan comedy school? They just go to Manhattan comedy school dot com Yes, they go to Manhattan comedy school dot com or you can I think you can also get to it through the Gotham comedy club There's a connection andy angle. He's one of my oldest friends and I mean look to be able to take a class with kori kahane We'll be back with kori kahane and John fish cool. Will you stick around? I hope and come back We've only scratched the surface. Yeah. No, we're good. Good. Okay. We'll be right back