 Hi there lovers today. I'm joined my mind lover. That's you That's your cue to hype up This is kind of a part 3 video on open relationships, which Jared's a really thrilled to talk about this topic But I do I think it's a really good opportunity for anybody who's considering them or who's confused about them to bring some clarity to it we have been in this style of relationship for coming up on two years now and It's worked well for us. We live together if you are unclear on what an open relationship is or how ours functions We have two videos you can go and watch. You're not asking on the basic questions So we're trying to roll things along by moving it forward and today we're talking about Jealousy in an open relationship with the help people from our lives We wrote out questions for each other. We're going to mix up and answer them And if there's any questions that we missed be sure to hit them in the comment section below And of course answer them yourself as you go along. All right me first. Yeah, you first. Okay. It's me asking. Oh Wait, what? All right. No, is you asking yourself? No, let me ask you. Oh, okay. All right Do you see yourself in an open marriage? I do I do I'll tell you why it works so well right now Being openly like communication wise. Um, I don't think While I'm in the marriage like that's gonna be something that I'm gonna be like pulling up every every other week Hey, I want to go on the date with somebody, you know, I mean pulling that open card all the time But I do like the opportunity and I do like it open and I do like I feel like as soon as you close it up That just leaves it into shadiness that leads it into like people wanting to Hide things or not bring things up when feelings do come up For me for me. Yeah, when you close things up, I feel like it just kind of makes it Easy to be like Should I bring that up? I know we closed this up. Should I even need you know what I mean? I just feel like when it's open it's a lot easier to approach for you for me Just don't want it to seem as if we're I'm sick We're saying that it's it's better to be easier to be honest in an open relationship I think it is for some people who in monogamous relationships. I think it is easier to be honest I'm not afraid to say that easier for you. It's easier for me, which is why we're in it But it's not easier for everybody. I guess I Do you feel jealous when you know I'm with somebody else Do I feel jealous when I know you're with somebody else like you like that just in case We should move it back for every time. You're gonna hear that Okay Look, that's what we gotta go This is a fine-tuning ship. You got nitpick on me for production Do I feel jealous when I know you're with somebody abs so fucking loopy? I think that jealousy is a natural human emotion just like greed just like gluttony is I feel jealous to be honest with you when one of my good friends gets a brand deal that I didn't get I feel jealous when someone that I don't know gets an opportunity that I secretly wanted But I have to manage that feeling in everything that I do I'm jealous when my mom says my sister is incredible and doesn't say my name afterwards Jealousy is a part of my life. It's a natural again human instinct. I don't try and deny it But I control it and I control it in my work. I control it in my friendships I control it in my family and so yes, I have to also control it in my relationship Do you feel jealous when I'm on a date with someone else? Yeah, I feel jealous But at the same time like like you were saying it doesn't take over my entire Brain power doesn't give me an anxiety. It literally all it is is just I Get like you said I get jealous when my homies go out and they didn't bite me You know what I mean? I don't I don't look at it any different than that It's it is a natural feeling because we want to be owners of everything that we have But it doesn't control my emotion doesn't make me make any of my any rash decisions. It's just a feeling and I go. Oh, yeah That's cool. Are you afraid I will ask for a threesome I'm not afraid if you ask that if that's so no I'm not afraid of you. No That's not It's not an experience. I've had before and so I would definitely want to prepare for it And I would I'd be excited to prepare for it excited to talk about it Fear would I think excitement over fear, you know what? I would honestly be like I don't I would not want the third person to feel like the third person How would you avoid comparing yourself to the other partners in my life? You don't have to you know that it's on the sides like I need you to not worry about this audio anymore Just answer the questions. How do I avoid comparing myself to the other partners in your life? Yeah comparison is the thief of joy and I'm in a field. That's very easy for me to become obsessed with comparison because I live in a metric space world And so I have a lot of practice Not comparing myself or not allowing the disease of comparing myself to run my life Make me sad or make me feel like less so I don't feel like that would be a massive challenge in my Situation and I feel like I trust the communication that we have on such a very elevated level That I know any feeling that you had would be a conversation Before I had to stress about it, but you know independently. I don't feel like I'm in this alone. I I think I'm the king of empathy. So if somebody I Don't ever judge anybody by their past and like I obviously I take into an account, but if I Don't really get worried to how many partners or who was in the past Like it doesn't really concern with the now like you're saying well It doesn't really concern with the now and it it does still joy because it's taking up space in your brain and time in In your brain to have time with you or with myself. So I don't really I don't know. It's weird I I think I was a kid. I stopped entertaining stuff that I knew that I couldn't control like the past and I feel like Whenever there has been an obvious difference in the Someone that I'm considering or you know seeing some regard in yourself. You always call it out Never like tiptoe around it. No, it's like, oh, it's really clear what the differences are I'm really aware what it is that you find of this person. Yeah, and so I think it's also acknowledging Yeah, you know me not being afraid to acknowledge and say those things out loud and I do that all the time I think in my regular ass life like there are some people that I'm like, you know, there are people better educated than me there are experts who have Ideas or experience that I don't have and I'm not afraid to say that out loud Nor would I be afraid to say if you were dating somebody with a fatter ass like yeah That girl's got a fatter ass or like I see, you know, I mean like that person's a dancer. They can do the splits I cannot so I feel like acknowledging the differences makes it real and something that's less in your head I feel like whenever something is in your head, that's when I can do the most damage All right How do you feel about me looking at someone else while we're together? Like just out on the street what if we're out and I'm flirting with somebody or I look at someone else How would you feel like I kind of I kind of like I pee be because I know everyone Everyone around probably that knows of us like looks at me to see what I'm gonna do like friends We're out to dinner today and you in the waiter hit it all you in the way that we're getting along You even like only said hi to you and asked what your name was when we're leaving like you didn't talk to anybody else in The table I don't almost where you forgot to give me water. That's the only thing That's the only time I guess that when you don't like like I need water You should have been like, you know, hey, can I extra get some water? You know what I mean, and you just let them walk away the park Yeah, use the park flirt all you want, but give me my water. Let you know say help me boy out Flirt I don't want to make it happen get in there. You know I'm saying I don't I think flirting is healthy And it's it's also to like you're saying, you know, I think I heard you say it before But it's also something to know that you know, yeah, my partner still got it Like she could still go out there and flirt and people were seeing people want it So I don't I like when you flirt with other people, you know I like it. I mean the example that I have is I watched Jared perform insert clip right now There was this girl I was doing your live for you. Yeah, so I was reporting the whole thing Yo, this girl stood directly in front of me like she shimmied in front of me and was standing there And then amber amber's closet nudged me like this girl moving up and then her friend came It's like a groupie squad and then the girl like went out and started like twerking on Jared She went up on it on my friends all turned to me like What are you gonna do? And I'm like I'm so happy I want to see you adored and I want to see you in the way that I see you I don't know. I don't think I would appreciate. I will say this I would appreciate more if you were like, hey that girl if we could share it. Yeah I don't mean like in that situation But like if we're out and you're like the waitress is very good looking or that person's very attractive Like if you turn and share it to me And I would like that and because I acknowledge your right to recognize that other people are enticing Um, and I think that we can like acknowledge that together as a team But nonetheless, if you don't want to do that still you're right Ha, that's funny that you said that this question is what is too far? Too far for me. I'm very clear on too far for me is deception Too far for me is omittance like willful omittance It means that you did something and you didn't mention that So you may say oh, I went on a date with somebody and you forgot to bring up the fact that you guys made out for five hours In a public setting or whatever. You know what I mean? Um, I think that Dishonesty is too far for sure Putting my health at risk obviously is is too far Um putting my health at risk in in any capacity putting your own health at risk Which I don't again. It's like there's a thing I always talk about with open relationships It's like that's just one layer in terms of compatibility You know to say that both people want to be open is the first step But the second step is realizing. Okay. Well, what do you want to do with this openness? And how would you behave as a you know as a single person? How do you behave as a single person? Yeah, and as a single person you've always been really really Precautious and good about your sexual health. Yeah And I know that from you from dating you. Yeah, I also know that from you from experience talking to you and even to this day You're really good about your health. So I don't feel like even saying that's necessary No, yeah, and I think that's the part of the trust that we build Um in in in an open relationship is just trusting that if it were to go that far that it would be definitely Not only my health but your health like you were saying I think that that's the thing I think too far for me is Doing something close to home and now when I say that I mean like a friend. Yeah, do you get jealous? No, I know it's part of my chicken scratch Do you get mad or jealous when I follow or like other girls on instagram? Well dudes, yeah, um, I don't I I don't I think it I think that actually applies also With um flirty, you know what I mean? And I I know for me too, like when I follow a woman on on instagram I might think you're fire and I might think she's gorgeous and I might think she has a nice body or whatever it might be that I follow Yeah You know, I think that I I want you to be desired and I want you to follow other guys and that's Part of being desired, you know, I mean you it's like leaving breadcrumbs You know, I mean you're leaving like you're like, oh, you know, I want them to think they have a chance But that being said though, you did request that I not put thirsty comments on stuff Yeah, so that's the only thing is I but that's just that's more that's not uh, that's not a Is that gonna hurt me? That's just more of like, I don't want to really Date somebody that's like that. Yeah, it's almost embarrassing for me You know with the tongues out and like the watermarks and stuff. I'm like, uh, I don't even know if I really like that's corny I don't have a problem at all with you following other people and I think that I think again, it's healthy It's natural. Um, I will say this what bothered me is that the other day when I told you who my instagram crush was I was like, oh jared, who's your instagram crush? Here's mine I scrolled through his photos with you and then you're like, I don't I don't really have one I don't really but meanwhile you have bare girls on your team There's a part of you that's still afraid to be No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you asked me what my celebrity My instagram crush is I don't have one yet. I really don't. We'll just pick five dad Okay, but I don't have a girl that's like In my I can't even think of one that's on the top. You know, no, I can't even think of why I will say I kind of believe this because the world's most annoyingest thing happened the other week We were laying in bed and I turned to jared and I was like jared. What's your favorite love song? And he was like, I don't know I was like just just tell me one that you like I don't know right now I'm not sure like what just pick a song that you like choose a fucking song that you like and he couldn't do it Not see the thing is like it's no Y'all been hearing chance voice this whole time or my voice yet So all I'm trying to say is that what I didn't want to do what I didn't want to do is give you a fake-ass answer You feel me I wanted to give you the real answer So when you asked me what my favorite love song is I couldn't think of what my favorite love song is in the moment So I said I don't know You want me to just give you throw out one? Yes, I did. That's fake. It's not fake You just gotta know every time I answer you when you get an answer. It's authentic I don't even know what the women thirst pages are. I follow unrefined men. See I need to find a third I need to find I need to find the thirst pages because I remember when Instagram first started I had deferred the thirst pages on point and then I got a relationship that made me Forget that shit. So I now I'm out of loop. I need to find the new ones. Yo, I follow director X This man posts the most Caribbean beautiful women all the time all the time it stays with him So there hey shout out to director X man Would you leave me for someone else? Would I leave you for someone else Yes, of course It would take a lot You're incredible you are incredible you are a partner you are my best friend you are Somebody that I look up to you are a teacher. You are a family member You are my best roommate by far. You are my best sexual partner by far By the end of the day, I have one life to live and I don't gotta get the best I gotta get the best and I'm with you because I believe you're the best And I also am I also am with you for the ups and the downs. Yeah, I expect you to to leave someone if they're better than me Leave you. Yeah, I'll leave someone Yeah, oh, I mean even that. Yeah, both both ones and leave somebody. Are you afraid of losing me? Of course, there's a fear in losing you of course because the communication that we have the vibe that we have the the life that we built It's I've never come came across it in my entire life. So I think yeah, there's a there's a huge fear of losing you You know, I'm definitely a I mean, yeah, of course. I'm afraid of losing you I I do feel the same ways though of like there would be a joy a painful joy in losing you There'd be a painful joy in losing you to a number of different circumstances What probably is a more real feel fear for me because it's it's an imminent fear is You know fear of losing you to your career and not losing you in a sense of us breaking up or that's this Ending, but you're such a big part of my everyday life. You're such a big part of Just you're just a big part of me. And so, you know, we know we talked about before the first five years You're gonna be gone most of the time and you have to devote yourself in that regard. So thinking about not sharing a space with you and not Gain to see you every morning that that feels fearful for me But it also feels exciting for me because I know it's one of my dream come true to see your dream come true All right, so that was the end of the video We want to encourage you guys whether you are in a monogamous relationship or single or in a somewhat open relationship Or an open relationship to answer these questions, you know for your potential partner or for your current partner right now My question for you is what role does jealousy play in your life? And how do you define jealousy? And my question for y'all is what is too far? What is crossing the line and what do you do when someone crosses the line? You see that See that time speaking across in the line. No, it's art Oh And if you don't know get a girl