 Hey Tony Gaskins here, one second let me get my light on, wanting to pop on here tonight had a long drive today coming up to Panama City for my son my oldest son soccer and I got a question the other day and I'm gonna open up the Q&A for the members to become a member of the channel the link is in the description but I got a question I was I did a video and I was talking about how at times you may have to walk away from a situation and I was talking about dealbreakers on there and in that in the dealbreakers what I was mentioning is that you have to identify your dealbreakers and I think the reason why so many relationships linger on and just go on for so long is there are no dealbreakers and when you don't have dealbreakers then you really don't have any boundaries and you don't know when to leave thank you to my members of the blessed tribe and so I want to open up and do a Q&A tonight to just kind of hit some of the questions because I'm not always able to go through every question so for my members I promise y'all I'll be trying to do some Q&A's I don't know what my sunday will look like this week because we're doing soccer so if you have any questions just put it in the in the chat and I'll see it but I want you to think about this in life love and business before you go into 2020 and start thinking about your dealbreakers think about your friendships think about your relationships think about your work relationships and in every area write down your dealbreakers and get them in your mind so that when it happens you know and so for me one of my dealbreakers was not lying not having being with somebody or doing business with somebody that would lie to me and so I told my wife when we got together I say look you lie to me three times and I'm gone because I can't build an empire with a liar and she knew that was one of my dealbreakers and I had to learn her dealbreakers and when you both know that now you can walk with complete respect for one another and you understand that blinds I'm not at home I'm in a villa on the beach so think about this before 2020 especially in your business relationships re nurse not ratchet any questions that y'all had that you put that you sent to the inbox you could put them here or in the comments that I didn't get to brown sugar if before you start to fully data guy a shy guy if he's inconsistent in terms of paying your attention or talking to you in general should it be taken with the same regard yes it should be taken with the same regard and the reason why contrary to popular belief you may not believe this but I'm actually very very shy and I was extremely shy you know growing up I'm still shy to this day I do this because it's my purpose so you might not be able to tell that I'm shy but this actually is not as hard for me because I'm really just talking to my to my camera to my phone I'm not really talking to people but I was shy but one area that I was not shy in is in relationships with women and so I say that to say the one thing in the world that gives a man courage is a woman so if a guy is not consistent then it counts the same he won't be inconsistent because he's shy hey truly Rose thank you so much for your blessing thank you very much for that the $10 I really appreciate that thank you I'm super blessed just today signed up for the it's my year 2020 thank you for your courses hey thank you so much I look forward to hearing your feedback on that if you look in the description of this video for 2020 I just released a new course and it's only $25 it really probably market value would be 150 but I made it 25 so people wouldn't have a problem and what it is it's gonna be 14 videos for your first two weeks of 2020 to wake up watch that video and then do your work in your journal or your day planner or whatever you use to write in to really kick start your year the right way so the link is in the description for those of you who feel like it'll be a good addition for your 2020 Lynn thank you so much for being a member of the channel I've been married going on six years and my husband is now not romantic we aren't friends there is no intimacy I was very sick this year and he wasn't there for me I talked to him about it over and it cut off you know what sometimes you have to come to that place to where in a marriage you realize it's getting stale and what happens is with men men get bored very easily and men lose their focus and so with a man what you have to do is you can't just yell at a man you can't just keep talking a man head off with a man what you have to do is you got to remove yourself so you have to literally let him know like look this is not working I didn't sign up for this and you got to send a real message to the point where he feels like and he knows that it's the end of the line and if that means you got to go get a hotel for seven days you got to stay with a friend if you got to go stay in a shelter hopefully it's not that bad but you have to send a very real message so that a man can really see what it really feels like to lose you and this goes the other way around too and then if that doesn't wake a person up that's when you know that you married wrong Tony what's your take on co-parenting and what a good father looks looks like well I'll tell you this I don't have to co-parent so I really I try to speak on things I have experienced with but one thing I see as a coach and dealing in that space is you you got to realize that a good father is he's going to learn how to respect the mother and he's gonna respect the mother because he knows that that's important to his children and to their development how they see him treat their mother Talisha Lord thank you so much God bless you and so and he's going to be active he's gonna be not only active but he's gonna be consistent he's not gonna make promises to his children and repeatedly not keep his promises when he makes promises he's gonna show up so what you have to do as a mother is you got to look at your children and what they're experiencing with their father and if they're loving him and it's a great time and they're learning they're growing they just eating it up and he's a blessing to their life and it's not causing stress and pain then allow him to be there for his children when he starts to hurt the children with his lies with his inconsistency that's when you pull back and you say you know what this is the same for me this isn't working and that's when you have to pull back and realize that since you the sole caretaker and they've been put in your custody that he gonna have to do right because your allegiance is to your children never see thank you for making the courses five dollars I purchased a few a awesome a 2020 I got to increase my course prices just because it is so much thievery I try to be generous for the people who really rock with me but what's happening when I when I when my course is so inexpensive it's a it's other coaches and speakers who going in and stealing the content and then going around and teaching it as it's theirs and they taking copy written stuff and then a lot and then also people buying it and not they thinking because I made it cheap that it has no value and so that's kind of a misconception because people are not used to genuine people and giving people but if you ask anybody that know me I'm just a given person I get it from a mama so right now on Tony gasses Academy dot com I made a whole bunch of the courses five dollars so if it's a course that you wanted and another thing I do that a lot of people don't do I was talking to one of my clients about it today is a lot of people don't teach what they know everything that I've done to help me build success as a author as a speaker as a life coach I put it in a course so everything I learn I teach because I believe that's what success is about paying it forward so the link in the description to Tony gasses Academy dot com it's probably I don't know how many courses on there and I got more I still need to shoot let me see what type of men are attracted to alpha women you know sometimes I use the term alpha female alpha woman one woman told me that not to say female and I'm like I don't know what else you know a woman but I'm like we say male and so I don't know what to call it but essentially a man if a alpha woman is a woman who is confident like real real confidence I'm not talking about loud and obnoxious and aggressive but I mean confidence which is rooted in actually humility if a woman is confident and she knows who she is she knows what she wants she doesn't accept less than what she deserves to me that would be the definition of alpha woman and to be honest with you every man who has a real man inside of him and wants to be a real man he will be attracted to that type of woman a man most men who want to be men and who want to grow those men will leave the weaker woman who doesn't have standards who doesn't have deal breakers who doesn't have a backbone most men will take advantage of that woman get everything from that woman get her money get you know her savings get her love making get her cooking use her car live off of her get everything from her and then end up leaving her for the woman who has deal breakers who has standards and who is going to force him basically to grow up and be a man if he wants to be in her life and unfortunately that's the way it happens so but but I think a lot of times we confuse the term you may say alpha you may say alpha woman but really be talking about a woman who is condescending rude and nasty and really insecure and so acting arrogant out of insecurity hey when I'm answering the question if you haven't answered a question don't type your question yet wait till you see me finish and then hit the send button so it'll pop in just like right here how on a net a net thank you for being a member to join the channel as a member so you could submit a question the link in the description I did this so I could kind of condense it and have some like-minded people on the channel versus it being open cuz anybody can watch this on YouTube and sometimes when you have people who don't know you never heard of you it just trolls and bots it just kind of really mess everything up on here I'm going to take advantage of these courses you are helping me a lot helping me out a lot of everything you said you said it's true and working you truly are a blessing thank you so much in that thank you for being a member to some man can handle a real woman you're right some man can some men cannot and and you know what you can't even worry about those men because those the men you know what you list is that those the men who just not ready to grow and then they wake up five ten years later and realize like man I had my chance but to be honest with you that the ego of a man is very very dangerous and the ego of a man honestly I'll be honest with you the ego of a man really will make him walk away from a woman who is holding him accountable is crazy Christina my ex says he loves and cares about me but doesn't put any effort to show it your ex okay he says I need to do my part but I give what I receive saw your video he must not see me as his wife thoughts you're a hundred percent right you're a hundred percent right when a man when a man wants a woman and he into that woman he's into that woman and he's doing everything to get that woman to win that woman and he's not keeping score it's always a red flag when a man says you need to do your part because a man knows that if you're his wife and he sees you as his wife he knows that if you're a good woman you're gonna reciprocate what you're giving so when he goes to you need to do your part and he's barely done anything himself that's a man who's trying to take advantage that's a man who trying to get over and he really just want you to cater to him and serve him he want you to chase him he wants you to show your desperation and your weakness so he can pray on that plot on that and take advantage of that but you watch my video about mirroring a man when you mirror him that's when that's when he realizes and you got to let him know if he if he playing dumb you got to let him know look I'm just giving you what you're giving me know what y'all talking about to Miko Olivia would not be fond of the new wife either and I don't think it's surprising that you and your brother became distant y'all have your own conversation y'all be hearing nothing I be saying I did not know you were gonna be live thank God for you to a ain't no I was gonna be live either I just ain't get a chance to upload a video today and I got a goal in my mind and just trying to be more consistent I struggle with consistency I do stuff and and then I stopped doing it because I you know I get into something else so the way the same way y'all see men in relationships I used to be that man when I was dating me and get bored quickly and start cheating because I don't cheat on my wife I cheat on my work I start doing something and I get tired of it and I start doing something else so I'm trying a personal goal just to be consistent because this don't take a lot out of me hey I don't know if this means y'all signed up tonight Taiz me being me Coretta correct thank y'all so much for joining as members of the channel let me see what is Raven was intimate with a man that I really hit it off with after a few weeks and an amazing date he says he wants to go with the flow he has invited me to see a theater show with his family continue to be honest with you and this could be you know this contrary to Bible thumping and religiosity but I can't speak Spanish to somebody who only speak English and what I mean by that if you slept with him then you must not be super religious or you know really convicted about fornication and so what I mean by that is when you are I can't speak heavenly things or spiritual things if you want something else and so what you have to realize is you made a mistake and a man will take what you give him but it does not mean that's what he wants so when you lie down with a man you taken a gamble and it's different than going to Vegas in gambling because when you go to Vegas in gamble you gambler with money when you lie down with a man you gambling with your life you gambling with your livelihood so you could contract the disease you can get pregnant you form in a soul tie it's a whole lot more goes on when you take that gamble so what you have to realize is that so many men are unintentional about dating that a man will literally just take that love making from you for two three four five years and because he had no purpose and no direction he won't even feel like he lost anything so what you have to do is when you sleep with somebody and then you realize that's not what you want to do and you realize that he's not trying to be with you seriously and he just want to go with the flow then that's when you got to pull back you got to pull back and you got to say you know what I am not doing that anymore so if you want to keep dating him just don't do that anymore with him and then that's when you're gonna see if he's serious about you or if he gonna kick you to the curb did you receive my last message I really need some guidance on this celibacy no I didn't receive your last message so if you can post it again eternal faith thank you so much God bless you hi I'm subscribe it says members only and it will not let me chat um yeah so if you subscribe that's when you hit the subscribe the to join the channel as a member of the blessed tribe you see them people that green sign on their name the link is in the description it says to join the channel and so right there what you wrote if you have a question you could put it in that what you what you wrote but other than that then yes you will have to be a member of the channel I really appreciate y'all supporting me and supporting the channel you know it helps me a lot carve out the time to do it because it's so many other things in my business writing and ghost writing and you know coaching that you know YouTube is something that I'm trying to build and it's building it's growing and to be honest which I want to keep growing it so that I can lock in on my message because I've been on television and I've coached celebrities on TV and I have a lot of you know invites for television shows and to have my own show to be a cast member on on another show but anytime you do that you're going to have to stay inside of a message that they want you to stay inside of inside of their agenda so you don't have free fall you still don't have free fall on YouTube but it's a lot more loose than it would be on television do's and don'ts on the first day I know you talked about what to do when the bill comes um just be natural you know be natural on the first day just be yourself be be yourself have normal conversation but pay attention not only to what the person is saying but to what they're doing pay attention to what they're not saying so pay attention to things like if if I'm on a first date in this day and age I'm gonna see if the person ordered alcoholic beverage if they order alcoholic beverage I'm gonna see how many they order if they get the three that's a no-go I'm gonna listen to see how much the person curses just to see where their maturity level is just to see where their conversation level is thank you for propagating your wisdom Tony um madam I don't know what propagating is is is I don't know a hundred percent what that mean but I appreciate it because you said thank you with it some praise in hand so it must mean but that to me is the derivative of propaganda which I don't know if that's what it is but that might mean something else so I'm gonna take it like a compliment why would a man keep calling you and ask you in a relationship and tell you he will wait and ask if you in a relationship he might see you as his wife Tony sorry if this is TMI but would you discuss more on your stance on self-pleasure you briefly spoke on the damages of fuel and lust and it really charged me um now they say 99 percent of men do self-pleasure and I could believe that and you got to think about that when you shaking a man hand and then now what I'm noticing is a huge trend with women hey Sharer thank you for being here that's most um Sharer is my director of cyber security anybody get out of hand Sharer gets all the way with them but it's just members in the chat tonight so she might and I have to straighten nobody but thank you Sharer so when I was talking about this self-pleasure what I really want you to do is evaluate the root of it and evaluate why you are doing it and think about it because a lot of times what's happening is you're entertaining lust you're entertaining lust and when you feed lust it does not quench it it only makes it stronger and so when you make that lust stronger eventually that artificial stimulation is not going to be enough and you're going to be so hot and bothered so hot and ready like little scissors that when you get in close proximity with somebody you're going to want that real to replace that artificial that you've been towing around with but see that artificial then set you up so now because that artificial can't put a baby in you that artificial cannot give you a std but when you replace it with that real because you then turned up your lust meter because you then got so hot and ready that now you really putting yourself at risk now you're forming a soul tie now you you know really setting yourself up for failure and the thing about it is that also that artificial stimulation is not the real deal so what happens is it'll hinder your connection with a human being because a human being no matter how experienced they are is not going to be the same as artificial self-pleasure so for me it's more so on the spiritual side that you're not feeding lust and lusting and giving in to that lust and feeding that side of you that is seeking pleasure instead you practice self you should practice self-control and that desire that energy channel it transmute it to something productive like working on your dream board writing your book starting your company you know doing something like that so that it's useful you take that energy and you put it elsewhere shana thank you for being a member re i've been single for 10 years my goal is to honor god with my life and body however i am becoming increasingly discouraged about being single my faith appears to be wavering is that wrong um it's it's not it's not wrong it's human you know it's not wrong it's human but here's the thing is when you're single and you remain single it's a reason it's something that you're not doing it's something that you're not doing it is it's no such thing as being single and perfect so it's it's really a single season is about growth it's about you growing it's about you getting to the next level in your life propagate the spread or promote an idea widely hey thank you madam for that word of the day propagate i need that country boy need that so in this single season you got to go down and listen you got to ask yourself you got to say the three b's i think i talk about the three b's in uh my book mrs right and you got to say what i call the three b's brain brand and body so the brain meaning you get new knowledge right now you get in a different perspective which can be seen as knowledge you add it to your repertoire you feed your mind daily you you're taking online courses you go into seminars you you're watching stuff online you listen to podcasts you're reading books you're feeding your mind your brand what are you creating what have you created that you cannot be fired from so do you have a blog have you started your blog have you started your t-shirt line have you started your foundation to help young young girls in the community giving them self-esteem lessons and dinner etiquette and hygiene stuff you know so what are you doing with your brand what are you creating that you can't be fired from and then your body what are you feeding yourself how often are you working out you say you're not giving your body to anybody so you perfect in that area but outside of that you got to say you know is am i at my goal weight you know do i need the gain some weight by eating better eating more healthy eating more regular do i need to lose some weight by intermittent fasting working out more you know what's my my weight goal my body goal because your body is your temple and for those of you who are casually sleeping around then the body part means taking your body off the market to where you not with a situation ship you're not friends with benefits but you completely pure in your body so brain brand body the three B's and this something i came up with when i was writing the book so and inside of the the the brain is and your brand is also your faith everything can be put in one of these compartments and so when you do that and you are actively working on that and you getting better every every day then you're going to start to attract new people being grown boy free for four months now thanks to you i've had spiritual growth since i found self-love it's been i've been on a raw food diet for six months and building the business that's amazing that's amazing keep working keep working the guy sent me a message on ig we started to talk he told me he is homeless at this moment and living out of a hotel i blocked him was i wrong that was kind of harsh but i mean i don't know if i would have blocked them but that's a tough one i would have definitely got some distance i don't know if i would have blocked the man now but it because he could have been lying or maybe he could have been serious but i don't know why he would share that that's too much information for somebody you talking to on instagram but i would have created some distance but i don't know about blocking the man that's real serious i felt like i keep getting into a relationship that i have to let go of after i love him it's kind of hard especially when he acts like he doesn't want to let go feel like i keep getting into relationships you know the key is you said it right there you falling in love after you love him so what's happening is you're going in and you're looking for love and you're going in and you are dating potential and you're dating the idea of love instead of love itself and so when you have to let go of a relationship there was some seas there was some red flags before you got to the point of having to let go nikesha thank you so much for being a member so you have to think about this and start learning the red flags and pay attention and once you pick up on all the different red flags you should be looking for you know is he consistent did you catch any lies is he jealous is he insecure is he controlling is it does he have a real job is he doing illegal activity does he smoke does he get drunk does he curse like a sailor is he passive aggressive is he too aggressive or assertive too assertive in the in the wrong areas is he too forward too promiscuous you know trying to get you in bed right away and really really hounding you to where you almost feel uncomfortable like look for these different red flags is he still dealing with a situation shift he's still going back and forth with his ex he's still you know juggling women i told my wife i'll be on her 30 minutes i mean we we ain't got nothing to do tonight but you know i want to listen to her talk about her her vlogs i mean her youtubers and everything going on in her world so i ain't gonna be on here too much longer i definitely can't go past our they don't deserve us and they know it they want everyone they can get wrong boys tony what are your author consulting sessions like should i finish writing my book before contacting you for consulting i'm 50 pages in well you could do an individual like coaching session to ask the questions that you have because the author consulting is a whole package so the author consulting is sometimes what i recommend but that's a whole package that's like up to 10 hours of consulting and the author consulting is where i help you conceptualize and come up with the theme and the concept of the book and then i write an outline for you that you can go by and you can tweak it how you want to and then i help you create a writing schedule so that you can write the book and be done with it within two months three months max and then i read the book a portion of it and give you feedback on the format and the flow and then i walk you through the editing the formatting getting your isb in publishing the ebook you know setting up your llc or your fictitious name to publish the ebook and to publish the print book to all of the outlets um i do have a course on writing a book and ironically you might want to get that because right now it's five dollars now the crazy thing about it this course is a two hundred dollar course to be honest with you i can charge five hundred dollars um because of the success i've had as an author i could charge a thousand or two thousand dollars but i just don't move like that but it's five dollars right now some people have bought it it's on tonygassonsacademy.com and the link is in the description of this video so if you look up under the video it should be a box and it has some links in there it's five dollars i'm telling you better get it even if you ain't ready to write your book right now you need to get the birth of your book because it's going up january 1st and it's probably gonna go back up i gotta move it all the way back up because people still in my stuff and misusing it and then i just gotta i gotta level my brand out you know i spent the last two years just giving away giving away giving away stuff trying to bless my my my core supporters but but now i got to take it back up so any of them courses that's five dollars you better get it tonight i'm trying to tell you because y'all gonna be mad don't write more january 1st thought i was a member since some subscribe i don't mind paying to send a message hello well you help us in life and about god just so i got you live and so like thank god for you thank you eternal faith thank you so much so only can you discuss remarriage after divorce and how not to bring the baggage in the new marriage healed but still cautious he's saying he's different well i've never been divorced and and remarried so i can't really speak to that from experience but principles are principles and one of the principles of relationships is that you must heal before you deal and that's a a little phrase i've created when i wrote the book mrs right i think about healing before dealing and so it'll be there on 31st vane court i might be saying your name where it'll be there on the 31st it won't change to the first but you got to heal before you deal and so you have to make sure that you heal and you got to make sure that he's healed or she's healed um i can i can't see remember if it was a male or female who asked the question but and both of you got to be able to do the work and show where you've done the work what books you've read okay means overcomer in french i like that i i don't know if i could say vane court vane court i don't know how to pronounce that but it looked good and so you got to be able to show where you've done the work you know what retreats what seminars what courses what relationship coaches have you talked to and you do the work and you when you do the work that's where you heal because you're getting new knowledge and when you get new knowledge that brings about a new confidence and that new confidence that is what allows you to go into a situation and recognize the red flags early i plan to take your public speaking course and your life coach course soon i wish i could meet you meet with you in atl i also pre-ordered your book with your wife but would like an autograph from you both we we plan to do some book signers and you know in the major cities alana houston new york maybe la dc i'm not sure everywhere but my wife she don't like being away from home too long because she's a backbone for my you know for our sons but we plan to be on the road something so i i really appreciate your support um what she was talking about in alana on january 11th i've been alana training life coaches for the life coaching certification so um if you near make it on our blessed be hey thank you so much thank you so much you know i still didn't get my iphone 11 for christian but i'm working on it i'm i'm working on it do you believe in soulmates um no i don't believe in soulmates in the sense of that out of seven billion people there's one person that's for you i believe a soulmate is created not found so when you get with a person and you build with a person and you bond with a person and you communicate with a person and then when you marry that person and you go into a covenant with that person that's when you become soulmates if everything is in order if the communication if the the mutual respect the faithfulness that's when you create a soulmate but i don't believe you got to be out here and you're gonna bump into one person and that's the one person that's made for you um so a lot of time i think people misunderstand and the people say oh it's my soulmate it's my soulmate if it's your soulmate you'll never lose that person if it's your soulmate god wouldn't set it up like that for you to lose that person and so what's happening is you got to create a soulmate by that that communication tony thanks for making your life coach reasonable it was someone charged a six thousand for a 12 week course so i know for sure you are helping us hey i'm glad you said that uab i am glad you said that now i'm gonna have to up their price in 2020 i don't think it'll go over a thousand i used to teach it live and it was 1500 the live one that i'm doing in january is 500 and so you know it could i could be charged in six thousand two mainly because i'm a six-figured coach and so a lot of time people charge based on their success so if they earn six fig six figures as a coach or seven figures then they may feel like their their information is more valuable to be honest with you most people charge in a lot just because the industry is wide open and they're taking advantage of people with a dream i charge such a low price because i feel like it's really it's a it's it's purpose it's purpose and it's passion and so you know it's uh somebody say me being me um i'm i'm asking you a question what what what you think i'm doing right now what this is me being me i'm i'm i'm going through question by question i'm addressing one right now like by goodness why can't please people and if you ask a question they ain't see it you gotta post your question again now y'all got to remember now i'm still hood so don't come on here thank you dealing with one of the other kind of dudes now because i will read you from left right front center now i'm out here at the kindness of my heart don't be getting loud now hey i ain't no one now you gotta come correct speak to me with some respect now i'm talking about boundaries and deal breakers now don't don't don't come try me have me going off on a whole tangent and so what i was saying to the young lady is i charge what i charge because i want more people to get into the industry because i coach about 10 people a week but it's seven billion people in the world it's over 300 million people in america alone so um i want to take him have more coaches so that more people can have a coach and coaches have coaches so you know now me being me right put your question back in the now i'm seeing a guy who treats me very good peaceful man with a good head on his shoulders only thing is he smokes weed and i dislike the smell on his breath should i let that be a deal breaker that's absolutely a deal breaker that's absolutely a deal breaker and the reason why is because what he's doing it'll be different if he just has stank breath does he has stank breath you can keep some gum around the house you can uh you know just be just laying toothpaste around the house but when his breath stank because he's smoking weed weed becomes an addiction especially for men i don't know about for women but for men it really becomes an addiction and the personality changes when they don't have a weed they be iffy angry or snappy or rude or you know just they be out of character when they need that blunt and so and also he's killing himself because it's still going to affect the lungs it's going to affect the lungs it's going to affect the brain it's going to affect the suffocates so weed is a correlation to apathy right now you might need to rewrite that one weed is absolutely a deal breaker okay i see what you're saying and can bet you is he is apathetic about life i don't know what all the apathetic mean but i don't deal with weed i used to be out there in the streets i never smoked it i was on the other side of it and um yeah i don't trust it i've never seen a person stay the same let's be okay let's be is it likely celibate godfair man over 30 oh yeah they're out there they they are out there it is slim pickings it is hard to define them but they're there and i'll be honest with you what it is my phone got 20 battery i'll be honest with you what it is is really afternoon and so but a lot of times a man might become afternoon the day he meets you if he feels you're the one when he feels you're the one and he finds out that you are abstaining from sex until marriage and he feels like you're the one all of a sudden he'll he's on that same thing he's on that same thing what's your opinion on social media flirting you can't pay it too much attention but but it is real today it's a real thing today but you can't pay it too much attention and a man ain't gonna do too much flirting he's gonna come on out to you apathy meaning indifferent unbothered okay yeah yeah you're right how do you tell a guy something you don't like but not coming off like you're nagging in a time of peace you gotta prepare for war so when things cool when things chill don't wait till our argument or blow up to say it on a night like this you know you may have to just have a conversation it's never a good time to say it but you just don't want to wait until something blows up so in a time of peace you prepare for war so you gotta be able to just share it and understand that if you're talking like i'm talking and you being direct and you're not calling him out his name you ain't throwing jabs with it you're not being nasty with it that's the best you can do he's gonna take it how you take it and you really can't get too caught up on that end of it tony what's the question it's too long here uh i can't get that out on here but i'll post it in the community because there's people watching this who aren't members so i'll post it in the community on a post that's for members only so you'll have to email where you can send the longer questions i haven't really got to all of those yet but i when i get to those what i do with those questions is i actually read them live and answer them so don't send it if you don't want it read i won't say your name or anything like that with it but you know hey uh is it shala shala maybe shala spelt creatively um tony thank you for everything i cash out to you last week just showing my appreciation but my question is what do you think about me and looking for help instead of help me shala god bless you god bless you i saw that cash out i think i posted it um to say thank you because i didn't know you know i didn't know your social media or anything like that to write you personally but thank you so much it means a lot to me just the fact that somebody would even be thoughtful like that to say hey here's for your ministry however it's gonna help let it help that it means more to me than you understand i really really appreciate that and thinking about men who're looking for help to be honest with you um that's happening more often than not today and the reason why is just because it's becoming a gap between men and women women are it's so many women that are single that can't not can't but it hasn't met a man on her level so these women are just giving their energy and their time and their effort to the corporate ladder or to their business or entrepreneurship and so women are growing in the business world at a rapid pace and a lot of women are building their business they're building their income and so what's happening is the the men are seeing this and men caught up a lot of men are caught up in different things and it's not they're not motivated so men now are seeing these empowered women as help and saying hey i can't get my stuff together maybe i can just live off this woman because she's desperate for love so a lot of men taking that approach and a lot of men have made it a business you know and that's really what they're doing it was chelette on the cash out yeah i i remember you um chelette because there's only two people that cash out me last weekend and you sent i feel like 20 dollars and so that that show that hit me that hit me i was i was floored what are you saying eternal what eternal said expansive vibrations thank you for being a member nadir thank you eternal faith yeah that was another language eternal faith i don't know if you somewhere else and it put it in another language not seeing more questions me either i gotta get off here in 10 minutes now i'm seeing a guy who treats me very good peaceful man okay you asked that i love this youtube form make us feel like family for real i wish i could engage with all my sisters hey thank you be working on a chat room i believe for members can have a chat room to talk in hello tony thank you for letting me know that i'm not crazy am i thinking about the relationship that i was in i was told that i was too old fashion didn't a mom's cold sign this way i think hmm i don't know what the eternal faith phone doing i was wondering where can i find what that didn't ever told this little girl i think the only place you can find that that's my very first book now so be careful with that book because i didn't have i did not have a filter on that book i really don't like people ordering that book because i went through an internet publisher so they take such a large percentage i really don't get anything for that book you know i went through a crook publisher the updated version of that book is mrs right which has the purple cursor font mr gas and me being me question how can i create an environment a guy feels comfortable to be open with his emotions and feelings towards me thank you sharing for helping me being me i thank you because i did not see that question and i'm glad i saw this before i got off here so i hope me being me is still on here and get to see the question be answered here's one thing i heard it said once that the average woman speaks 25 000 words a day and the average man speaks 10 000 words a day so what it was saying is that women talk two and a half times more than men and when you look at little girls and little boys you will see that to be true in a lot of ways so what happens a lot of times in relationships is if y'all post a question while i'm talking i'm not going to see it so wait till i finish and then post it again so it's right there the right in front of my face what happened in a relationship is women talk so much that you end up telling all your business all your feelings all your hopes all your dreams and the man just end up listening and he ends up listening but the fact that you may be talking too much he starts to feel like you don't care about his feelings and his thoughts and this just is all about serving you so what it does is it puts a man you know in a space of he more so starts to resent you then appreciate you because he's been silenced his whole life by the world so the world has silenced men our entire life by saying shut up be tough and don't cry don't complain so men have been suppressed their whole life so when a man gets in a relationship when you ask more questions than answers being given when you ask in questions and then when you hear his answer and then you follow up with another question and if you like this man you kind of have to have some sessions sometimes to where you talk to him and you asking him questions as if he's the most interesting man in the world if you like this man like literally you got to be so oh so where did you you know grow up and he telling me so what did y'all do there what that's what y'all did so did you fight a lot did you ever get in some fights what's the worst fight you've been in what man you lying you you wanted to fight or you lost the fight tell tell true so now did you have to deal with bullying so you see i'm going just question after question and you picking up so a lot of times women don't do that because women love to talk so much you know just like when you're talking with your girlfriends when you talking with your moms when you talking with whoever the salon just like in the chat room how i can keep up women type so fast you're smart and so what's happening is the man just start to look and be like you know what i'm just going play the game because she ain't here for me she here for me to hear her and so a guy will start to play the other side sonia god bless you miss white thank you for becoming a member so y'all seeing stuff ain't seeing what have you asked questions and they shut down i'm so confused just keep asking questions just keep asking questions ask the next question a man is so used to not talking that he is accustomed especially talking to a woman that he's accustomed to playing like he's an introvert and like he can't talk and like he has no feelings and like he can't express himself like he has to be closed off to the world he's so used to playing that role that it may take some questions on top of questions on top of questions to get past that facade to break through that wall but it's really just understanding that he really really wants to talk but instead of just you know having diarrhea of the mouth he first wants to know that you really want to hear it that you really want to get to know him so if you really like him now if you don't like him don't waste your time but if you really like him then keep asking the questions eventually he gonna he gonna start answering hey tony what about bitter baby mamas she always mentions me when they converge and it may be even worse now because i'm expecting i'm trying my best to be the bigger person well what you got to do um herola lane thank you so much what you got to do is you got to tell him stop stop bringing you what she's saying just say look you know what y'all got that's between y'all keep that between y'all i really don't want to hear her name i don't really want to talk about her because with him bringing it to you unless you sitting there ease dropping on the conversation if that's the case then you need to get up and go somewhere else but if you with him and that's your man then you can't worry about what she talking about and because he know what's going on and a lot of times men are do that to play the middle in both ends because he kind of won't his fragile ego won't women to fight over him and have two women that's on him and so you got when you let him know you're not interested in hearing what she got to say and that you know she a non-factor in your mind then he realized like okay this woman ain't gonna be stuck in the weed she ain't gonna be competing for me with nobody else and he gonna he gonna stop that just got out of a three-year relationship with a knack maybe you meant narc who's alcoholic we attend the same church it was we were even engaged and i couldn't do it how do i deal with this and the lies while he plays victim so you're alcoholic y'all was engaged and you couldn't do it to be honest with you when you have a relationship and you lose a relationship and it was something crazy then what happens a lot of times is you gotta you gotta cut everything else like that's not the only church that's not the only church in the world so why put yourself through that going to this church with this man who making you feel crazy he making you look crazy that's the gamble of seeking love sometimes you gamble and you lose and sometimes when you lose you lose your whole shirt so you may have to consider if you can't get to the place to where you can see him and be around him and be okay then that means you're gonna have to change the environment you're gonna have to go somewhere else just wanted to thank you for this live i don't know how to pronounce that r-a-g-a ragazal ragazal forgive me forgive me she come in under a pic he posted of me two months later and said the dustiest bee ever so he need to block her if that just because has just just because that's his baby mama and see the thing about it is it sound like you done got pregnant by a dusty man that's the issue like for me ain't nobody coming for my wife somebody said something about my wife in the comments on here it could just been a missing letter and they block i don't care if they block for a type they might be blocked for a typo typo anybody come for my wife i do life with a smile on my face so that your man got to have that kind of energy about you she shouldn't be able to comment on his page on a picture that he posted you she should be blocked and if she act like that if god forbid something happened between me and my wife my wife would never come on my page commenting about the next woman because she a classic woman so if your man sleeping with women like that you gonna have to think about this thing but now you pregnant bomb so you kind of stuck so you really gonna have to get some straight you gonna have to get some straight hey y'all i told my wife i was gonna be under 30 minutes i got to get going let me see it was somebody else thank you for sharing your wisdom and your positive example of manhood and husbandhood son you're young thank you so much God bless you that really touched me Tony you're 10 minutes up at 915 man can i learn from you all day but you're queen waiting but if you say if you stay i ain't mad hey thank you so much i am i need to go because i told why i say i'm going to be under 30 minutes she looked at me she was like but when we had nothing to do tonight we weren't doing that we we've been on the road together for the last six hours and so you know i'm trying to see if i go if anybody got a last little question in here my co-worker is trying hard to take me to dinner he wrote me three poems and framed them i did not giving him my number or having him take me out we have great conversations and chemistry thoughts oh nika that man doing all that that might be your husband if he's single so i don't know what what you want him to do with cartwheels in the office if you need to find out if he's single for real for real and if he's single you might need to entertain that because a man doing all that he must really see something in you keep getting aliases not real name two in a row now why oh the man giving you aliases not um because you give him because you can search him on facebook and because you can google him and if it's google he his record gonna come up his mug shot gonna come up if his facebook his page with his girlfriend gonna come up so when the man giving you aliases you got to run put your track shoes on and run do not stay there for a third alias you be in somebody ditch i'm trying to tell you ain't no reason for a man to be giving no aliases if he on the up and up how do you get over person i talked to for one month we had one night stand but i want to be free from this soul tie it hurt have you taken the soul ties course on tonic actions academy it's only five dollars you're gonna have to do the work ain't no way to to get over soul time if you're not doing the work you're gonna have to get the lessons the messages read the books and what you got to do is learn from it and say to yourself okay i'm never ever again having a one one night stand never again so learn from it if i date when should i tell him that i was married at 17 years old with two girls separated nine years but gave birth to boys by two different men and finally got my divorce in 2016 um the kids are important kids are a day one conversation marriage is is not as important but you can tell him when he asks you and a man don't care about a woman being married before a man don't care about that at all he'll care more about the kids than he will about you being married because for a man a woman being married is actually a plus it's not a negative it's a plus because men love stamps of approval so if another man had what it takes to marry you men know how hard it is for men to get married so if another man had what it takes to marry you then a man actually sees that as a good thing and y'all know that by those of you who have never been married and men looking at you like you crazy because you 40 and never been married that don't mean you crazy but it shows you the truth in men see you being married before social proof as a stamp of approval as a reference to say okay if another man did it then you know it must not be the end of the world and so it takes him actually more maturity to understand that just because you've never been married doesn't mean something is wrong with you you know he has to be mature tony advice on dealing with a man listen here now i got to go in five minutes because i see y'all be on here asking questions i got to go in five minutes my spirit getting drained and i don't want to come i don't want to i don't want to be trying to talk from a drained spirit tony advice on dealing with a man who has a past of cheating womanizing but wants to be better how can the woman date him without his past hindering them moving forward peacefully and with trust you got to watch his actions on the day to day i was that man i was like that but i really like my wife i really felt like she was the one so my energy changed and i changed for her and so you're gonna have to take in you know really look and see where his energy is and when you see where his energy is then that's when you can can tell his consistency if he's lying you catching him in lies and things of that nature then that's when you know he's still the same man tony asked him to count of his sexual partners he froze yeah he didn't think about his life in advance and so that's why he froze i'll tell you this for most men for a lot of men it's 10 is easy for a man 20 is easy for a man special a man over 30 50 is is really close to average for a lot of men regardless of how he looked color shape size weight is just so many women and there's so many women that are desperate for love that sleeping with a woman is extremely extremely easy even just in this small q and a we've seen two or three women say they've had a one-night stand so these are good-hearted women who trying to grow who trying to be better people so if they slip up imagine the women who are not seeking growth imagine the women who that's they go so in this day and age i want y'all to understand a man really can sleep with 365 women in one year it's it's to be honest with you it's that real out here and that's why i'm so strict on that's why i'm telling y'all keep your legs clothes keep your legs clothes because you know it was times in my life to where three women in a day was was doable and i've talked to guys who have slept with eight women 10 women in a 24-hour period it's just honestly that's how kings had a thousand concubines is it's so many women and because it's so many women a lot of women get desperate and give themselves very quickly and um and men take advantage of that because a man gonna take what you give him even if he don't want it just because it's there because he hasn't grown and matured as a man i know you've said your wife has never raised her voice at you but how does she react back when you weren't in a good path when you were younger and not as mature she left she left my wife left me in dating and then she left me in marriage she left me one time in dating and then we got back together six months later by just god's doing i reached out to her for a friend who wanted to connect with her roommate and we got back that time she didn't have to leave me again in dating we was married 10 months later and so we got married 10 months later in two months until our marriage i tried to go back to the street life and we are and we had a baby um we had a baby a month a month or so after we got married we was living in sin we was young and so we you know didn't have messages like what i'm giving y'all today and when she got pregnant she got pregnant and when she was about three months i think i proposed to her because i knew she was my wife and then but our son came early two and a half months early so right after we got married march 30th our son came april 26th i went back to the street probably june telling myself i was going to the streets to make some money for my family and my wife wasn't with it so she left me then she didn't yell at me she didn't curse at me she just said look i told you i can't be with a man who's gonna live an illegal lifestyle i'm out of here hey god bless y'all 70 minutes i'm gonna try to get on here sunday night so y'all look out for sunday night 9 p.m eastern i think it'll be 8 p.m where i'm at i'm in panamar city beach but god bless y'all thank y'all for coming on here for everybody that did gave a donation tonight in the super chat hey thank you so much it means the world to me just for y'all soaring into what i'm doing thank you the links i don't have all the links in the description of this video but if you you gotta get them fired all the courses i'm telling you one thing i don't do is tell lies i do not tell lies especially on purpose so y'all if you could procrastinate if you want to come january first you're gonna go back and you're gonna say wow this course that was five dollars is two hundred dollars so i'm moving them up to market value to match where i'm taking my brand and to where it's supposed to be it's still gonna be less it ain't gonna really be market but because i'm i'm not a price galger but i did this at the end of the year just to say thank you to everybody that's supporting me so make sure you go to tonygaskinsacademy.com if you want to all the love courses there but also the professional courses there so if you want to write a book if you want to become a speaker now the life coach certification and i think entrepreneurship with purpose those are not five dollars and you know life coach that'll never be you know this kind of that because i gotta keep the integrity of the industry to a certain degree so i try not to charge too too little for that and people take it as a joke if it if it's too cheap but hey thank y'all god bless you we'll talk soon