 And welcome to It's About Time on ThinkTech from our downtown studio at the core of Honolulu. I'm your host Becky Sampson. I'm a professional speaker, author, and coach. Life can sometimes make it difficult to get ahead and to feel like we are making any progress. We start heading in a direction and making healthy choices and are hit with opposition and struggle. The question is, what do we do in those moments of indecision? That the very core of our commitment is integrity. Joining me on the show today is my very, very dear friend, Heather Lauder, and she's a life and business and health coach. So today we're going to be talking about what's holding you back from living the life that you have always wanted. Hey, thanks so much for joining, Heather. Are you there? I'm here. Thank you for having me. Yay! This is our first little remote kind of access, and I'm excited to have you on today. And tell everybody where you are plugging in from, coming in from. I am plugging in from Saratoga Springs, Utah, which is about 30 miles south of Salt Lake City. Yay! And that's where I lived for a very long time, so thank you so much for joining us today. We're going to be talking about some real life stuff. I like that it's about time. It's about time to get real, right? It's about time to really talk about how do we take somebody from where they are right now to making the choices that they need to, and you've made some really big choices and changes in your life just recently. Kind of tell everybody where you came from, where you're at now, and why you're so passionate about doing what you're doing. So I, as far as the biggest choice, the biggest change in my life has been a nearly 60-pound weight loss that I've struggled with my entire life. I remember being on a diet at the age of 12, and so I am feeling very accomplished. I'm still on the journey, got a little bit to go, but I feel like I've found a path that really works well for me. But more importantly, I've done a lot of work on the inside, and that was what really has made the difference for me this time. Yeah, awesome. And we're going to talk a little bit more about that because that's a big transformation. I know when I lost my 130 pounds, it's like your whole life, just especially if it's something that you've struggled with, right? Your whole life to be able to see that change happen is amazing. So tell everybody also what you're in business, because you are a really amazing business coach. I know I come to you for advice all the time. I'm an ITU. So I actually started coaching in about 2007. I was certified as a life coach and as a business coach. And that year, I also received my bachelor's degrees in business management and marketing. And so although I was certified as a life coach back then, nobody really kind of knew what life coaching was. So I and because I had been in business for so long, I've been I've done a lot of real estate. I've been a licensed new licensed real estate agent since 1990. And I had made some tremendous strides in the real estate industry and but really wanted to move into a space where I was helping more people. So coaching was a great fit for me. And so I really did a lot of business coaching. But as with anything business coaching, health coaching, it all comes back to life coaching anyway, because you have to like we were saying earlier and we'll get more into this in a little bit, but just starting from the inside out. And so it is all the certifications and the education just served to help me help others at a higher level, whether it's with their business or their life or their health. You know, it's interesting. I love that you bring up the point. I it was about a year, maybe two years ago that I was at a networking event where I realized that all business coaching is life coaching because we're dealing with the mindset, right? And we're dealing with all of the internal stuff that goes through. If you want to be an entrepreneur or you build your own business or any of those kind of things, it really starts from the inside out. And so and I know you and I both do business and we both do personal life coaching and and it really does it makes a difference to really go inside to figure out, OK, what are we doing to create this outside world that we may or may not like, right? Exactly. And it's really more transformational coaching than anything. So what, you know, you and I both do is we we help people transform whether they want to transform their their financial future or their their healthy future that, you know, or their business. Whatever it is, we help them transform those things. So what would you say some of the so let's talk like business real quick and then we're going to go to personal. But what do you think some of the biggest problems are when people are in business for themselves? Because I love to talk about entrepreneurship on the show. What would you say some of the biggest issues or obstacles or problems entrepreneurs have with growing their business? Oh, gosh, there's so many big ones. I think the biggest one that's coming up for me right now as you're talking is comparison. I think that a lot of us as entrepreneurs get into comparing to another entrepreneur who may be really super successful or seem very successful on the outside when in reality, you don't really know what's gone on behind the scenes. And I think the other thing is. I think that as entrepreneurs, we have a desire to do it all ourselves, right? Or maybe it's a financial reason we can't afford to hire, you know, a marketing director or whatever it is that we need. But I think that there's a balance there and you have to ask for help when you need it. And most entrepreneurs are not willing to admit that they need the help. And and then, like I said, they get in that compare and despair mode. Oh, well, they're making four million dollars a year. What is she got that I haven't got, you know? And that's an easy place for us to go because that's that's where we get in trouble, too, because we are we are comparing. We're all in our different journeys, right? So absolutely. And so many areas of life. And then I also think we're we're told, I mean, how many times today have you heard, you know, follow your heart, you know, go after your purpose, live your dream, dream big. And I think there's a lot to be said for that. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you necessarily should make a business out of it. Yeah. And I think that's another trap that a lot of people fall into. I like that, too. Just because it's a hobby or something that you're passionate about, you may not it may not be a good business decision. So be able to kind of pull yourself back. But that's also goes back to what we were saying is having mentors and people I know Heather met multiple times. I've reached out to you with like an idea or a book title or like, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? To be able to have a support group to say, you know what, Becky, you might want to reconsider that. That's not the best or rather than just thinking because sometimes we can run so far in one direction to realize it's not the right direction for us. That's totally right. That's that asking for help component. And, you know, even in my weight loss journey, like finding a community, a coach, support, that was what made the difference for me. And then being willing to admit that I'm not as educated as I thought I might be and being willing to be open and learn and maybe relooking at things that I thought I knew. So whether, again, it's entrepreneurship or health coach, a weight loss journey, whichever way it is, those components will make the difference between a successful business and a successful weight loss journey and one that may be not as successful as you'd like to see. Isn't it interesting how much they correlate? Like, it's funny because I can always go back to the weight loss journey and compare it to business. And it's it's I've ever been able to before. This is interesting. Well, you do now is that, you know, you and I have been on this journey together and it's been pretty amazing to see the progress that you've had, the progress I've had, the failures we've had and and the steps and everything because it is it is a journey. There is no arriving at where where we are. So what would you say the biggest problem is when it comes to health, like taking your health in in, you know, being in charge of your health and taking charge of that change? Um, you know, I think the biggest thing there is commitment versus interest. Oh, yeah. And I feel like a lot of us, you know, we're committed, we're strong. We're committed for at least two weeks or day. We get to that, right? Two days tomorrow. That's right. That's right. And then it's somebody's birthday or you're going to a wedding or you're on vacation or you've gone camping or whatever it is. And all of a sudden that commitment doesn't seem quite as important as, you know, those potato chips or whatever it is that your big temptation is. And so there's a big difference between committed and interested. Committed says, I'm doing this no matter what it takes. And interest is, I'll give it a try. I love that because it's it is so true because when you've made that commitment and you might have experiences too, there is no backdoor, right? There's no going back to the way that you that you were before. You're just only going forward, which I think when we leave that that backdoor open, it gives us excuses to to slide back into old habits instead of saying committed. The burn the ship's mentality, right? Like all in or don't even bother. And again, correlating the two, the weight loss back to business, same thing. You know, if you are not all in another thing I see with a lot of entrepreneurs. I know is that we're most entrepreneurs. I know are serial entrepreneurs. And I find it rare to find an entrepreneur that has only one business. Most entrepreneurs have two or three or four or five and they can't focus on any one thing. At one time, I had seven businesses I was juggling. Yeah. And then I got real with myself and I said, I'm basically giving every business a seven tenths of my of my heart. And that's not any way to be successful. So you have to you have to select. You have to focus and you have to be committed. And basically what you're saying is oh, sorry. No, go go. So you're going to get focused in one area of your business or focus on one business because that I think is it is really difficult. I don't I mean, you've I don't know if you've experienced, but I've experienced it because I'm going, OK, am I writing books? Am I speaking? Am I doing this coaching? Or so what it is focusing that attention into one area. I remember I worked for a company a couple of years ago and I looked at that and it was like you're in way too many fields of focus to be able to be successful at any of them. It's like having a bunch of plants that you're trying to keep alive instead of just focus and focusing on the one and doing everything you can to let that grow the deepest roots to the highest fruits. Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's good. You should write that down. I know you should. I did this one this one course a while back when I was coaching and it was I was working a lot with Renaissance entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs that were interested in a number of things. And there are ways you can do it, like you were saying, if there's like a single focus or a single umbrella, if you've ever seen a banyan tree, they have like kind of an umbrella. They have lots of banyan trees here. Yes, and the roots are multiple roots, right? There's many roots that lead down. But if you have the same umbrella, you can do that. But when you're focusing on different trees all together, that can be challenging. So I'm not saying you can't have multiple businesses, but if you're finding none of your businesses are moving forward in the direction that you want them to or as quickly as you want them to, then my my suggestion would be to find a common thread for all of your businesses if you can. And if there are any that don't quite fit in, you may want to consider shelving those for a little while until you can get the other ones running along. Oh, I love it. I love it. That's that's great advice. If you know, if you're watching, make sure that you're writing that down because this a lot of these are little gold nuggets that if you apply them into your business or your personal life will really, really make a difference. So we're going to take a short break real quick. We'll be right back, but we're going to take a short break. I'm Becky Samson. This is It's About Time on Think Tech, Hawaii. We're talking with my dear friend, Heather Lotter, and in the beautiful state of Utah about what's holding you back. So stay tuned for more. We'll be right back. Aloha, my name is Wendy Lowe, and I want you to join me as we take our health back. On my show, all we do is talk about things in everyday life in Hawaii or abroad. I have guests on board that would just talk about different aspects of health in every in every way, whether it's medical health, nutritional health, diabetic health, you name it, we'll talk about it. Even financial health will even have some of the Miss Hawaii's on board and all the different topics that I feel will make your health and your lifestyle a lot better. So come join me. I welcome you to take your health back. Mahalo. Aloha, I'm Winston Welch, host of Out and About. It's a show that we have every other Monday on Think Tech Live here. We explore a variety of topics that are really interesting. We have organizations, events and the people who fuel them in our city, state, country and world. We've got some amazing guests on here, like all the shows at Think Tech. So if you want to catch up on stuff, tune into my show every other Monday and other shows here on Think Tech Live. It's a great place to learn about stuff, to be informed. And if you have some ideas, come on my show. Let's talk about it. See you later. Aloha. Hi, we're back. I'm Becky Sampson, and this is About Time. I'm talking with my dear friend, Heather Lodder, and we're talking about what's holding you back with living the life you have always wanted. We're talking entrepreneurship as well as health and wellness. So welcome back to the show, Heather. Thank you, hi. So grateful to have you. OK, so we were kind of talking about some of the problems that entrepreneurs have and also in health and wellness. What are some other kind of nuggets that you've learned along your way as you've worked with entrepreneurs in their business and business? And now, really, your focus, you kind of you do a lot of things. But we were talking about staying focused in your business. But as a health coach, what is one of the biggest problems that you find when you just are starting to work with someone in improving their health? Um, I think like we were talking before, just that remembering your why and staying committed, you know, I know one of the first steps we always take is to figure out what you want and how important it is for you to get it, because that will determine your level of commitment. So whether, again, you're looking at a weight loss goal or just getting healthier and reasons for getting it. And we talk about your big why. One of the things that I tell everybody to do is get to the why that makes you cry. Again, business, health or anything. And the way you do that is by saying, so, you know, well, what's important to you in losing weight? Well, A, B and C. Well, why is that important to you? Well, because D, E and F. Well, why is that important to you? And go as deep as you need to go. And the why is that important to you? Question until you get to the point where you are choking back the tears, because that's what you come back to every single time. Again, in business or in health or in anything that you're doing, get to that why that makes you cry. And literally I write it on a sticky note. I stick it on my bathroom mirror and I recite it out loud morning and night while I'm brushing my teeth, because that's what keeps me going. That's what keeps my my spoon out of the peanut butter jar. I love that. And I like that tip. Again, if you're watching, make sure that you're writing these things down because, you know, they really do work, you know, staying focused on your why. Why are you doing this? And most importantly, if you're wanting to improve your health, make sure that you're doing this for you, right? Foremost is making sure that you're you're getting healthy in all aspects of your life for you and not, I mean, I think secondary your family and friends and people around you that you're there for, but know why you want it for you. Because I think sometimes we talk a little bit about actually why sometimes we do things for other people instead of for ourselves. Why do we why do we negate ourselves or neglect ourselves from wanting to do it for us? I think that we seek approval and I am definitely in that boat. And I think that we're as as general we are people pleasers. I think especially not to get sexist here, but women generally are very people, pleasey people. And we do it and moms put our kids before ourselves and everybody else before us. And you've done it for so long that sometimes it's very difficult to claim your life again. But that's one of the things that I in my experience in business and in health and wellness, you have to claim the victory and not stay in the hood. And being a victim is saying yes to everything. Well, and we've talked about this. Oops, we've talked about that on the show. Also, of how do you change somebody? How do you shift somebody from being a victim? I'd love to hear your input on this, is how do you shift them or help them assist them to going from a place of victimhood to really taking ownership and getting honest and integrity? Is that something I mentioned at the very beginning is that we need to be integrists in our commitments? Talk a little bit more about that. Well, I love that you brought that up because that's one of the things that's been really heavy on my heart in the last few days. I wasn't really I feel like as a as a nation, maybe as a world that we are almost embracing dishonesty sometimes and it's not OK. And even down to the smallest thing, like somebody will RSVP for dinner and then cancel at the last minute or they say, yeah, I'm definitely available at eight o'clock. Give me a phone call and then they don't answer. And so those are all things that kind of walk out of integrity. And Tihar Becker always said how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you're walking out of integrity in those areas of your life, are you an integrity in your own life? Are you keeping your commitments and your honesty to yourself? One of the best ways that I have found to get out of the victim role and into a victor role is starting with gratitude. And so I when I coach someone, they'll they've all heard it. Go get a pretty fresh gratitude journal. And write down three things that you're grateful for every morning. Take it a step above and write down three things you're grateful for about yourself every morning also, because those are the things that are going to build your confidence and take you out of the victim role and see that there really aren't accidents. There really aren't failures. There are learning experiences and everything happens for us, not to us. I love that. And that is so true. And when we when we really can get, I know for me, when I got to that point in my life where I realized that the whole world's not against me, right? And I mean, I just live most of my life feeling like I'm a victim of everybody, my family, my friends, my teachers, you know, and that's the reason why I am the way I am. Instead, I took ownership of I created this, right? I these things have come into my life to help me become a better person is really where things started to change in my life. And that's another thing. You know, if you're watching this and you find yourself often blaming and complaining about your life and the people that are in it and what they're doing to you, that's exactly what Heather's talking about is get out of that mentality and realize the gift in the moment or the lesson, right? That's right. That's exactly how to get out of victimhood and get into victorhood. I have a quote that has been ringing in my head the last few weeks, too. And it's, don't let your past become your future. Let your future become your now. To be who you want to be. Right. Yeah. And keep that why in the forefront of your mind. And and then one last point I would love to make is to walk away from what no longer serves you. And man, that can be really hard sometime, but sometimes that that gets into the whole no aspect of things. Right. The more knows you say, gives you time for the yeses that you really want to say yes to. I love that. Because I think we do feel like an obligation sometimes that we have to say yes to everything because that no matter at what cost it is to our own personal self. And then we find ourselves buried, right? With with burdens of everybody else's burdens instead of taking care of ourselves. Because somehow we think that that's selfish. And it's it's really I have found for me that it'd be selfless. So I have a question for you. Selfful. Oh, I like that. I got to write that down. I have a question for you, Heather. What has been actually one of something that has surprised you the most as you've gone through this journey of releasing or releasing 60 pounds, what's surprised you the most? About you. What surprised me the most is what I thought I knew and I didn't know. Like, I thought I have tried every single diet, weight loss, program, everything, you know, shots and pills and everything on the planet. And I thought I knew a lot about nutrition. I've talked to nutritionists of higher nutritionists. I've worked out like crazy. I've done all the things. And I was surprised that what I really needed, like we said at the top of the show was I needed coaching. I needed community and I needed support. And those were the things that I thought I could do it by myself. Yeah. Yeah. And that's that is something I absolutely attest to that we cannot do it alone. No successful person has been successful on their own. It's just it doesn't that equation doesn't work. Right. So why do we keep giving into that temptation thinking, you know, we got ourselves into this problem, we're going to get ourselves out of it, which is not. We need community and connection. And I love that you brought that up and that you've been able to see the power of that. And that also applies to your business, right? And growing your entrepreneurship, having those coaches, and we don't just say that, we really believe it. And we've experienced the benefits of doing that. So tell everybody where they can find you. This is we're kind of wrapping up any last thoughts or feelings about, you know, what little nuggets that you can leave with people or thoughts that you have. So I really want to let every person know that you are worth it, like you are worth the commitment. You are worth the effort. You are worth saying no to other people. So you can say more yeses to you. You're worth that. And and I think that I think we're starting to figure it out. Nobody can determine your value except for you. You're here for a reason. That's value enough. Now take that value and don't let another minute go by without taking steps in a direction that improves your life, that improves your health, that improves your well-being. Keep on going forward and way to get ahold of me. So my website is www.happymatters.octavia.com. And Octavia is spelled O P T A V I A happy matters.octavia.com. Awesome. Email, you can email me coach Heather Lauder, which is laughter, l-a-u-g-h-t-e-r at gmail.com. I know I've told you a long time you should use the laughter, right? The lauder really needs to be laughter, because one of the things I first, I mean, we met how many years ago, maybe nine or 10 years ago. And I immediately, I mean, you bring such happiness and joy to the world and you teach people to laugh, right? And to find that joy and that happiness. And so it goes right along with your beautiful, beautiful spirit that you bring to the world. And so thank you so much for sharing that with us and with everybody that's watching today. And thanks for being in my life because you are by far one of my absolute angels. You know that. And congratulations on your success. I'm grateful to see what's going on in your life and keep up the great work. So all right, and you're going to have to come to Hawaii and see me. OK, twist my arm, Leah. Thank you so much for having me. It was great seeing your face. OK, thanks so much, Heather. We'll talk to you soon. So we're out of time and we'll have to wrap it up. My name is I'm Becky Sampson. And this is about time on the Think Tech Live Streaming Network series. We've been talking to Heather Lauder with with she's a life coach, business coach and a health coach. So thanks for joining us today. And thank you to our broadcast engineer, our floor manager and to Jay Fidel, our executive producer, who makes this show possible. And of course, I'll see you next Wednesday for more of It's About Time on Think Tech Hawaii. I'm Becky Sampson. Mahalo, everyone.