 Hello and welcome to the update. I'm Chesa Salisbury. And I'm Jared Oates. And these are the latest stories. President Trump ordered the firing of 59 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian airbase on Thursday in response to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad's chemical attack on citizens earlier in the week. And it really just makes you sad about the results of the election because if Hillary had won, she would have never bombed the Middle East. I'm just kidding, of course she would. She would already have a favorite drone that she'd have a pet name for at this point. On Wednesday, former presidential candidate Ben Carson had to be rescued from an elevator in Miami. We encourage our viewers to think of as many jokes as they can that begin with, so there's a neurosurgeon stuck in an elevator in Miami. Trump's nominee to the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch, after being confirmed by the Senate after the GOP deployed the nuclear option, was sworn in on Monday. Although I thought it was a little cruel that they made Merrick Garland hold the Bible. Sean Spicer has come forward with apologies for his confusing statements the other day where he claimed that Adolf Hitler did not use chemical weapons against his own people during World War II. In part of his statement, he said, on a professional level, it's disappointing because I feel I've let the president down. Yeah, because the person that you should be apologizing to is someone who had nothing to do with the comments, not the masses of people who were murdered and tortured under a fascist regime. A man was physically removed from a United Airlines flight on Sunday after the flight was overbooked. He was dragged away, his face ended up bleeding, and he eventually was removed on a stretcher. So all in all, not much worse than a normal United flight. Allegedly, the United crew was trying to make room on the overbooked flight, which begs the question, how do you overbook a flight? It's not a mystery how many seats there are. More importantly, was there really nobody on this flight who was drunk enough from the airport bar that they could have been removed peacefully in their blacked-out slumber? According to a morning console poll released Tuesday, Bernie Sanders is now the most popular U.S. senator, although that's kind of the definition of too little, too late. I mean, I could imagine Bernie reading the results of the poll and being like, where were you all during the primaries? The LA Times claims that car service Uber could be facing a $1.1 million state fine for not more closely investigating if its drivers have been intoxicated. Wait, you mean to tell me that you can get an Uber where the driver isn't stoned? 420, the marijuana holiday, is this coming Thursday, and millions are expected to celebrate by sparking up. However, there are some health concerns that come with smoking marijuana, and some have even indicated that it contributes to short-term memory loss. However, I personally don't think this is an issue at all with smoking marijuana. Lastly, in entertainment news, Harry Potter fans will rejoice to hear that Jude Law has been cast as a young Dumbledore in the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel. He was cast after his work in The Young Pope, a show which proved that he could really do what he wanted to do. The Young Pope is the most popular U.S. senator in the U.S. and has been cast as a young Dumbledore in the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel. He was cast after his work in The Young Pope, a show which proved that he could really do what he wanted to do. A show which proved that he could really delve into a character, but more importantly, that he can act in silly hats. That's all we've got for you this week. This has been the update. Take it easy.