 listen it's the message right here black boy tell me how you really feel because i just want to build with you black girl tell me how you really feel i want to keep it real with you i want to live better eat better i want to love better sleep better yeah i want to feel so aligned is chemistry or compatibility more important? compatibility is more important to me than love i actually don't even look for love at the beginning actually when it comes to relationship i look for the essence of your being and my being making sense if it makes sense then we look for love um compatibility to me is important because compatibility requires you understanding me all of me one process is understanding all of me and to understanding that what you understand about me does that make sense to you those are my two parts so you've probably done a good job of understanding me now you have to be honest with yourself do i make sense for you the moment we understand that part then we talk about love until then i don't have conversations about love typically before understanding compatibility how do you feel about relationship goals and me and somebody's son oh god top 10 things top 10 worst things than black people have ever invented on the internet and we've invented a lot of good things the somebody's son concept is not something where it's not like i here's how i understand that somebody's son hashtag to be is you take an imagery of this fine ass relationship you've created a list of that relationship and then assume it to be yours that assumption is deadly so i am not i'm not a huge fan of somebody's son what's the other hashtag again relationship relationship goals i i do not aspire to have another person's relationship in any way shape or form i aspire to have mine and what makes sense between me and my partner so it's not it's not because it's not going to be the same it's not do you do you all really think that this generation of women is worse than the last we're not worse different it's not worse it's not worse it's different um the men that understood the relationship of the past are not the men today um so but it's different because as i mentioned earlier what i understood to be a family structure because what i understand to be as family structures typically 90 percent of what i want now actually i take a step back i'll probably say 80 because i'm trying to find two or something but typically what i've grown up to have is what i typically want in a new relationship give or take right but the person in this imagery is not the woman in real life because women have changed so that difference needs to be analyzed i don't know if it's a situation of specific relationships or is this is this a conversation that can happen overall as actually i know the answer is that it's a conversation that we need to understand as black people in general um but not for me my short answer to that if i need to elaborate i can put my short answer to that is no it's just it's just different and it's awkwardly different because it's not good or bad it's just something that's not as easily we're trying to unlearn learn unlearn and relearn in a very short amount of time with no role models to get this to get this a new information from we're literally inventing shit from scratch and i don't think we understand how crazy that thing is we're inventing new ways of relationships we're accepting different structures of relationships so because of that difference is a matter of really sitting down and saying this changes that are happening does it really make sense for us today so yeah not worse just different are men intimidated by women who make more money than them i'm not personally but i've heard women say uh i'm not intimidated by a woman who makes more money than me my money is my money is that because you feel financially secure exactly that's exactly why if i'm worried about my bank account i don't give a fuck about her bank account but i kind of do low-key because we don't know the answer to what needs to be done with her quote unquote bank account so in my in my in my opinion the way i think about that answer is am i worried about how black women make money no i honestly wish you but i want you to make i want to see more black female millionaires and billionaires it's necessary um but if you are you talking specifically in a relationship or you're just talking in general like okay am i worried about just a black woman making more money than me in general in a relationship in a relationship right huh that's what you should have said specifically in a relationship of course it's cool in a relationship do i care if it's over if we both make over two hundred thousand dollars i don't think i would care at that point if she makes over two hundred thousand if we both make over two hundred oh together if the income's together no separately if she makes whatever she does makes it's over 200 and whatever i make is over 200 that number i don't know i don't think it's important to me at that point less than that we're kind of because it's not the number it's about how you're getting it the time and resources you're taking to get it because we have to have honest conversations what type of family is always trying to create and that's why i don't have a specific answer because it needs i need to know the type of families we're creating to know that okay if you're doing this thing that's taking a lot of your time and resources to make this amount of money but we're talking about this type of family that requires time and attention then we have a conflict so it's not the money but the time and resources you're taking to get there and how it's maybe affecting the time and resources needed for our family to grow that's that's the fine line for me it's not the money i don't care about the numbers but i care about what you're doing outside of the family if what we're trying to do in the family is also important to you but if you were to make over two thousand two hundred thousand and she makes less than that now your time and resources are also being taken away from the family that dynamic is acceptable to you you feel like that would work better what's my responsibility in the family to make sure the family is okay right if i can do it in nine to five and then come back home and do my thing then i'm doing my thing that is my traditional male model of how i'm supposed to support my family and if it's 200k is like you know 200k i mean if you want to work that's cool if i'm making 200k i'm not expecting my wife to work month he's not because what are you working is it for finances it can't be because i'm sticking care of that so what are you what are you doing are you working because it's more so i mean if you're a doctor or you have a specialty or whatever the case may be okay i think that's a little different but 80 percent of why we do what we do is because of finances so let's just be honest about that if you're working because you want to make money and you think that making that money makes you feel better i'm not looking for that type of woman i'm looking for a woman who can take care of everything else because i will take care of the finances do y'all prefer natural women body face hair etc yes no i the reason why i don't want to elaborate because it's just that simple i don't do i don't want a woman but that's not i don't you know i want it to be natural everything natural that's my like because if i'm if i'm okay so here's the technicality of that is using my inner relationship or is this as just you existing on my end i'm i'm existing just that we're just black people in terms of physical attractions i'm attracted to for the most part naturally woman natural women i would say no other stuff if that makes sense why is it so hard for you all to be honest and transparent about your intentions about our intentions for a relationship about your intentions if you intend to be physically involved with the lady why is it so hard for you to be open and honest about that or if your intentions are to be more than that romantically involved why is it so hard for you to be honest about whatever your intentions are so one of the problems i've had personally this is just me personal conversation is that historically speaking i have been in a position where we end up being at two different places it's not how it starts but how it's kind of going after a year or so it's hey i'm on this level why aren't you here or you realize at a certain time that you're dating a woman who practically to to launch the resort she's you fit you fit some type of model in her in her head of what she needs for herself versus taking you for who you are and deciding her compatibility to you you what typically then happens is okay you fit 80 percent of me that's 20 percent less change it change is not the problem but the change has to be with the person and how it makes sense to your conscious and how it makes sense to your story you can't change the person because you want them to be a certain way you demand a change because it makes them better and if you're better you are better and i found it difficult sometimes to make women where i don't feel myself versus playing a role in her life and that's why it's become that's why it's a little difficult for me to be open and sometimes trusted when it comes to black women because i'm not allowed the time to be myself in that relationship