 What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem But focus on the solution and this beautiful woman with me right here is Dr. Randasso Who also happens to be my mom say hi mom? Hi Chris. Yeah, so she she might go by Carrie, but to me she's mom But yeah, anyway, some of you or a lot of you saw my video I just did about suicide awareness with Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain passing Pessing away in the last week. Um, but my mom mom tell me a little bit about what why why you're a doctor? What do you specialize in? Well, I mean I have a doctorate degree in clinical psychology, but I specialize in addiction for the last 20 years Yeah, my specialties treating addiction and other mental illnesses Yeah, so basically we want to hop on today because something that isn't coming up enough like we see suicide and things like that But like both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain struggled with addiction and more and more news is coming out And we want to talk about this because there's a there's a huge lack of awareness when it comes to addiction Especially when it comes to alcoholism. All right, like a lot of people when they think addiction They're thinking oh the opioid epidemic deal. Yes, that is a huge problem But you must understand that tens of thousands of people each year are dying from alcoholism And I think this is a perfect example too about how the statistics are kind of screwed up You know what I mean? Like it doesn't necessarily say they they died of alcohol poisoning It's a result of alcoholism leading to depression leading to suicide. Like can you talk a little bit about? What how alcoholism leads to suicide? Well at the end of the day you could have depression before you have alcoholism or even abuse Let's even just go alcohol abuse and I don't think it's about non-awareness I think it's starting to get to me. I'm getting frustrated because I think it's about denial I think everybody's educated about oh, we shouldn't drink or do drugs too much and be an addict But it's okay to self-medicate a little bit. I mean, I cannot tell you how many how much frustrated I am That nobody is shocked in the field of addiction that Anthony Bourdain and Katie Spade hung themselves We're not shocked Yeah, if you're abusing alcohol, whether you're diagnosed as an alcoholic or not And you're struggling with depression or anxiety the likelihood that you're gonna eventually Harm yourself harm somebody else is extremely high. Yeah And a lot of people like I've shared it multiple times on my channel and talking about my story like Like especially with my drinking and my using I got to a point where Even though I wasn't going to kill myself I wanted to die and that's something else that we see where people just drink themselves to death. You know what I mean um, but Something else like when we're talking about like the depression like, uh, you know, the depression come before or the depression come afterwards like It can be either way like some people self-medicate with alcohol, but then alcohol Um, long-term abuse of it can also start to make you feel more depressed, right? Right. It doesn't matter the chicken came before the egg. That's not that important What matters is we tell you when you're struggling with any mental illness is stop addictive drugs Why we're trying to treat the mental illness. Yeah, so So kate spade it came out the kate spade her and her husband, you know They they were separating stuff and part of the reason that he left was because of her drinking like of course So do you do you think especially with like the denial and stuff? Like what about both sides of it? Do you think like the actual alcoholic has denial? Do you think the people around them has denial too and okay, so So i'm not that upset with the alcoholic addict. Okay, because it's a mental illness. They're going to be a denial I am more upset with the people around them That join in in the denial or turn a blind eye So at this point, I'm not even looking at kate spade and anthony bourdain I'm looking at the people that knew these people At histories of abusing substances and and are not confronting dude. We're not going to drink with you Dude, we're not going to have you on our show drinking. You're an you're a confessed addict Yeah, okay or you're self medicating because anxiety disorder is not appropriate. We're not okay with it So so let's let's talk about this real quick a lot of people watching my channel are not addicts and alcoholics like what what should a person do like what should a loved one do If they see the person is has a drinking problem We're not make boundaries clear set loving boundaries We're not going to drink when we're around you I I have a case right now that just blows me away, but I could go on for hours. I'm not going to drink around you We're not we're not a drinking family. I'm not okay with you drinking when we go to a restaurant It's got to be a theme. This is an illness Okay, it's not okay. It's like in our family christopher When we have Thanksgiving, we just don't have boozer alcohol around right? Yeah We don't have big family functions because of it But it's a loving gathering because we all know there's no need for it Yeah, and and like especially like when we look at like celebrity culture too Like it's everywhere with the partying and the lifestyle and stuff like that So so yeah, it's difficult for them to even avoid situations Where where there's not going to be alcohol, you know, okay, but let me let me say this I get that all the time like carry or dr. Rendezo. They're going to be around booze anyway They're going to be it's all over the place. Yeah, but my home and my family is my castle Yeah, they're my safe net. They're my love I don't care if I go to a friend's house and they have alcohol. I have a right to leave Yeah, but in my family in my home Yeah, and you guys know I could die and you're still sitting around drinking next. Are you insane? Right. I mean there's something wrong with you. Yeah Yeah, no, and that's that's the thing too. So something I've heard of um, it's like sober sober coaches sober companions and stuff like that like Do you think like especially celebrities like they should hire somebody like if they have to go to parties or events or whatever, you know Like Kate Spade, she was a fashion designer and stuff and go like do should they hire somebody to go with them? Well, I think they're just like in in our 12 step programs. There's 12 step programs. We have people that are in recovery Yes, I believe in sober coaching. They have to have somebody that understands. Yeah near them Yeah, because yeah, that was that was part of the issue was like even if Friends and family members cut me off and you know, they would have hang out with me or they wouldn't drink around me and stuff like that I go to plenty of events where people didn't know like people didn't know that I had a problem So I I could drink all willy-nilly around them and stuff Right, but but that's another issue that therapy and counseling can kind of cover. Okay. So yes, you're right But anthony bourdain was on tv drinking as he's going to these cultural events And everybody cnn knew he was a drug addict. Yeah in the 20s. So yeah, so yeah Yeah, let's talk about that real quick because this is something This is something that I deal with with my clients all the time too like all the time they there is this lack of understanding that Just because you were addicted to heroin doesn't mean you won't have a problem with alcohol I tell them all the time. I see people come in they come in for meth They come they come back for alcohol. They come in for pain pills, you know, they come back for benzos You know, like we bounce from one thing to another because at the end of the day Addicts and alcohol is we have a problem dealing with life and we find anything and all sorts of toxic behaviors To do things for some people. It's gambling for some people in sex. Some people are shopping You know what I mean, but like Can you talk a little bit to that like anthony bourdain was a recovering heroin addict And you shared an article on facebook where anthony bourdain says this and this is something that you and I In the addiction field have to fight through every single day where people say i'm a special case I'm a special case. Not many people can quit Not many people can quit heroin and drink alcohol, but i'm i'm special i'm different Can you talk a little bit about that like going from one substance to another why that doesn't work? Well, because it's so funny when he said i'm an unusual case No, dude at the end of the day, you weren't unusual at all. It's a physiological issue. It's a neurological issue. Yeah Located in the meso olympics. This is so anthony bourdain could say whatever he wanted But we as scientists and clinicians, we know Anthony bourdain you have the same neuro Pathways the same structures and every other human being as so the likelihood you're going to play this Off and be unusual is pretty slim. Yeah Well, yeah, and like, you know, I I've done this thing and maybe it's because uh, my dad has diabetes Like I relate addiction to diabetes a lot like could you imagine if a diabetic was like no I just can't eat cake, but i'm a special case and I can eat a bunch of candy bars Like it doesn't it doesn't make sense because like you're saying this is a physiological thing and like That's something that I try to you know explain to clients Like I do a lot of groups on the brain science of this thing I'm like you react differently to this substance. Like, um, I love, you know Even though like there's a lot of anti 12 step people out there Like I love in the doctor's opinion where it relates to an allergy. That's when it first clicked for me I'm like, oh, it's like an allergy. Like what kind of lunatic would go and eat peanuts have an allergic reaction And then be like, okay. Well, it's just these peanuts. I can go have those peanuts Like nobody in their right mind would do that for some reason with addiction It is and like it makes sense to me Alcohol even you know recreational drug use. It's so encouraged by society and things like that Like it makes sense that people, you know, they try to they they go into this denial but something I also teach about is the problem with the prefrontal cortex and The prefrontal cortex is there for logical decision-making. You know what I mean? So like Like I'm gonna do a video this week on this but like That's one of the number one reasons for relapse is because people are incapable who have addictions of making these logical decisions They need someone to guide them. They can't do this with their own thinking Right, but then we have a society and family members that that have this distorted thinking too So they're making them sicker and yes, I always hear you can only get sober and want to get sober for yourself But I am a big proponent that we don't live on an island alone Right. Yeah, so I am holding a lot of other people responsible for these deaths that I see. Yeah, sorry Do you do you think do you think that? There's a lot of people out there who need to get sober or want to get sober But their families like Families or friends purposely enable them because it might mean they have to change what they're doing Let me tell you the worst thing I see The worst thing I see in my profession and trust me I consult on a weekly basis with families Is that everything has to change and they're not ready to go to any length I have wives that that want their husbands to change but they will not change They're drinking every you're wine at the house three times a week But they're adamant that their husband shouldn't drink. What do they expect? Oh, yeah. Yeah for sure. This takes a commitment from the family from everybody and guess what? We are self-centered human beings at our core Right. Yeah, like it's it's self-centered selfish and it's all about us Yeah, and it's this this human this human issue. It was so funny here. I'm gonna tell you a funny story real quick Okay, don't read my comments and some other people didn't read but don't read my comments But I made a video the other day and I was discussing this I said, you know by nature We're selfish and self-centered we immediately think of ourselves We do this we do this on a subconscious level. We don't even realize it So I say that statement and this guy replies in the comments He's like, how dare you say that we're all selfish and self-centered not all of us only think about ourselves I'm like, dude No disrespect, but you literally just proved my point when you saw when you saw me say that You immediately thought of yourself. You think everything is directed towards you. Everything is about you And and this is this is a massive issue. So so here's the thing like going back to kate spade Anthony Bourdain But anybody else out there who is either struggling with addiction and wanting to get clean or know somebody who should get clean like Let's talk about this Do is it a necessity? Is it an absolute necessity that you need your family support in order to get sober? I don't like absolutes chris. Come on. Yeah, okay. Nothing's absolute. All right It sure makes it a lot nicer and I think this the recidivism rate for relapse is less But is it ultimately has to be? No, of course not but Come on. You have to have a support system And there's a high likely you need the people around you. We know that Yeah, so what what should a person do? Who doesn't have a supportive family if they're if they're from a family if they if they live in a house Let's say it's a mom dad a sister and a brother. The brother wants to get sober. Everybody in that house drinks and uses What should that person do? Everybody uses then that's where we get the person To attach to a support group of clean and sober individuals like what like what? So we're gonna go there right now. Yeah, let's do it. We're gonna go there right now Okay, well, of course a 12-step program. You have out Synonymous you have narcotics anonymous you have smart recovery Let me pick up where she left off because this is something that's going to be a fee but this week Oh, don't apologize. It's just your internet connection but This is going to be a theme this week because um, I've been doing weekly topics on the youtube channel this week I'm going to be talking a lot about 12-step programs and things like that So this is one of my issues when it comes to doctors and scientists and people like that who Dislike support systems dislike support groups and things they say. Oh, you just need this type of therapy that type of therapy Here just take no track zone here. Just take ant abuse You know do transcranial magnetic stimulation like people don't realize that First off first off just saying those things 12-step programs are free I don't know if people got the memo but a lot of addicts and alcoholists have destroyed themselves financially Most of them don't have insurance. So unless you're gonna like Federally fund people to get transcranial magnetic stimulation. You need to step off But the second thing is so many people do not have supportive family members They don't have that supportive family So they need to get involved and I tell people I don't care what program you work Just work a program go to 12-step meetings go to smart recovery refuge recovery. I love that But these are people who will be there to love and support you When the people who raised you and the people you grew up around will not do the same You know, so it I'm sorry for that little rant But it just drives me nuts when people try to talk down on these support systems But hang on chris. We all know that not one we call different treatments modalities Never do you just use one modality? So even with magnetic stimulation? You always have to add another thing with it. Oh, yeah, you never just have one thing by itself Yeah, okay, it's not you always uh add a Plethora of different types of treatments. Yeah, yeah addiction Let's let's talk about this real quick too because it's gonna help with the topic. I'm gonna talk about this week so With with the vast majority of people struggling with addiction having a mental illness as well Dual diagnosis like do you feel that people even if they do fully embrace a 12-step program or Smart recovery or celebrate recovery or refuge recovery. They should also be seeing a therapist or psychologist and things like that They need to be assessed for their for the other we call that a dual diagnosis So you want to make sure what that other diagnosis is and that needs to be treated in addition Yeah to their 12-step program. Yes. Yeah. No, it was really interesting. I might do a video on this sometime I was watching this video about this guy. He actually he lost two sons to suicide and he was um I don't know if you've heard of like that low dose ketamine treatment for depression Um, but like yeah, yeah, no that freaks me out But they do it once every six weeks and they like these doctors were really good They said this is not a fix. This is not a cure. You need to go go do psychotherapy as well You know what I mean? like Like basically the the low dose ketamine treatment is to get you to a place where you're not feeling suicidal where you're open up kind of like what you do with um What's the thing but neurofeedback, you know getting them to a place where they can start Where other things start working even better, right and I don't let anyone do neurofeedback by itself In fact, I won't treat people unless they're doing counseling or a 12-step program or medication management. I won't Neurofeedback because I won't Take their money like that. Yeah, it won't work. Yeah, absolutely So so yeah, everybody. We're are you there? Yeah So yeah, mom, let's let's wrap this up. I'm gonna do an outro and stuff the internet's being weird and my phone my battery's about to die but uh Anyways anyways everybody we're gonna wrap this thing up and Thank you mom for coming and talking about this very serious subject So Yeah, everybody if you've been paying attention if you need help go get help with or without your family If your family's not supported have them watch this video and and have them support you and help you out They can go to a therapist. They can go to alamon and all sorts of stuff What what am I missing here mom? What can the family do or what should people do if they need to get help? Well, the family can get a consultation with an addiction treatment center a consultation Again alanon support who's there's other support groups in addition alanon for family members But I would say if they need help they can call a treatment center to find out what they can do Oh, got it. Cool. Cool stuff everybody But yeah and feel free to reach out to me on instagram at the rewired soul or twitter at the rewired soul Or email me the rewired soul or gmail.com if you need resources to go out and get that help, but again mom Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me. You're beautiful and lovely as always. All right But everybody we're out of here and don't forget to subscribe if you haven't yet and we'll see you later