 Hi bitches, my name is fertilizer. This video has been in the making for like over a month now But before I explain the purpose of this new video, I just want to shamelessly plug my new March You guys love the first launch and good old day from crowd made decided it was time to make more designs He said Frederick get off your lazy ass stopped procrastinating like the senior you are you don't have senior I just shut up said those exact words. I'm not kidding and he said make some better designs for your fans And I tried in fact one of you guys sent this sketchbook in so I could actually you know work on it So like that's me, you know Dropping a lot, but I know some people couldn't afford the shipping and tax and the prices of the shirts in general Which is understandable, so I decided to make a pin for you guys There are more coming, but this is one that I wanted to do for now It's so cute and it says everything is less than three in the cart and for those of you who still don't know what that means It's a heart. Okay. I'm promoting love on this channel parents. I swear to you. I'm a good influence By the way, they didn't make an infinite amount of pins, so they do sell out at some point They don't know when they're gonna make another batch to send out So if you want them get on while they last but we also have a Bidget hoodie now it does come in multiple colors and it has a little heart in the inside And I think it's really cute and it's embroidered and this is really soft If you want this stuff Go check it out right here Up here or down there. Okay. Okay back to the video Frederick I've always been intrigued by bullet journaling ever since I was little. I always thought these people are so fucking extra I'm a good influence promise I thought it was a waste of time honestly But as I aged and you know became more gay and more extra with myself and try my best to become an art hoe I wanted to become one of those bullet journalists because I Had FOMO I never had a diary or decided to write in a journal on a daily basis because one I'm very lazy I can't even keep up with my agenda at school There were times where I actually threw my agenda away or just returned it back to them because I knew I would never use it But I've convinced myself that if I can organize a journal for a month straight It will organize my life and my way of living in my room And let's just say that didn't fucking work at all But I did manage to complete the journal for almost a month and you'll see why in a bit This is what it looks like. I will link the original journal on Amazon I did paint this myself and you'll see how I painted it It does say everything is less than three wouldn't this be cute for merch except no one fucking makes bullet journal merch But I'm pretty happy with how it turned out for you know the month that I did it does improve every page and I Do mess up a lot so you'll get to see that just a heads up cover took seven fucking hours And it was the most stressful painting I've ever done granted most of the stuff. I did look off of like Instagram and YouTube I'll put the links in the description below if you want to check them out Not a lot of it is original but keep in mind It's a process to get your own style and my style is Sunflowers clearly So here's my experience of trying to bullet journal for one whole month I First started by aligning my design of pencil and then my dumb ass realized pencil does not show up on a fake leather Notebook Frederick you're going to NYU. What are you thinking? So then I decided to use a pen and say which turned out to be washable So I'm very glad for that but you'll see eventually that the pen was the bane of my existence as a gay Chinese American 17 years strong going to NYU. Yes, I'm gonna say that multiple times in this video because one I'm proud of myself and two I have very dumb moments during this month It's very embarrassing and my you if you see this, please don't take away my acceptance But I felt personally victimized by this fucking pen and you'll see you'll see once the island was done I wanted to do the green first but in retrospect you always do the lightest colors first I repeat do not be a dumbass like me. Please paint the darkest colors first. You'll regret it for your life Oh my god, this video is literally me telling NYU you should have not have accepted me because I don't know the basics of painting Anyways, the pain to use were really that pigmented So I decided to let the leaves dry before doing another layer after next I painted the brown center of the flower which oh my god Do you see how sheer that pain is the brown required like four layers total and yes I'm using the same brown for my shoe painting video. I'm a hoarder. I'm cheap. I'm Asian What did you expect from me next up? I got to the yellow pedals and oh my Fucking god. Yeah, it's washable Which is very helpful in the beginning because I did mess up a lot and I'm very perfectionist I wanted it to be perfect for an outline You remember the pen I mentioned earlier and do some easy math here, okay? If something is washable, you're going to mix yellow paint with a blue black ink pen It just created this disgusting vomit green color I hated it and the only reason didn't notice that it was blending in earlier was because I use the dark colors So of course it's not going to show because you're blending it with a dark color. It wasn't visible to my eyes. So like 2020 vision my ass. Also, I debated for like two minutes straight If I should just erase the pen and just freehand the yellow because it wouldn't show up that much on the journal Anyways, it's a yellow fucking journal, but my brain at like 12 a.m Thought yeah, it's a good idea to keep going and just layer the paint on friendship. Nope I'll just say it right now. It was a terrible idea. I'm sorry because this shit took seven hours Painting this took two separate days and three periods of physically hitting a pillow because I was so stressed and on the verge of ripping the journal in half and I Actually decided to count the amount of layers I used and it totaled to um 18 layers could have been three months if I just raised them Once that was done I decided to not record this part because I thought it would take five minutes max But it is a different pen to do the writing part It was a calligraphy pen not only is a blue black But it was not washable this time and I think I messed up like one letter at the very end and my perfectionist said Okay erase it try to make it perfect for the outline So I tried to erase it with a web paper towel because it worked earlier. Nope that shit stained the whole journal I had to think of a different solution So I ended up painting over it and making a cloud that is next to flowers because for some reason I thought clouds and flowers are a good combination. I don't give me a break. It was midnight. Okay? I mean brain doesn't think clearly. It's not realistic. I'm sorry I'll line a pencil then pen and put some finishing touches to the flowers and we were done, right? Now keep in mind I did spray this with like three coats of a sealant by the way don't paint on the spine of the journal it It chips off my tip would be to bend it a couple of times to see where the line is and just don't paint on that line Don't worry this park is less bright, but I basically made a cover journal and to gain inspiration I looked up March bullet journal But I added daffodils to it because those are the flowers for March and then painted with watercolor Which I really regret because the paint crinkled and it bled and just use brush pens And yes I did just mess up by writing Monday when March versus technically Friday now that the preparation for the journal was done I decided to start organizing my life So you're about to see some vlogs of me every single day just showing you my steps That I did and you can see like each time you flip I did change style every time because I'm trying to figure out which one I like best And that's part of the process of making a journal like you're not supposed to know instantly What your style is my handwriting was you know amateur at best before going into it now It's a little bit better because I practice anyways. Let the vlogs begin All right, so today is March 2nd and Yesterday I did fill out my bullet journal at school. I didn't get a chance to film that well obviously But if we take a look about what's in here first I'm gonna get my pen out from my trusty yellow pencil case and first I need to cross out March first because we are done with that. So I think I want to cross it out like this Let me go to the second page and I tried different ways of doing calligraphy, and I think I've settled on one This is just a rough draft. It'll look better on this side But these are all of the things I had to do and I need to cross this out I did edit my video at the end of the day. I wrote the same thing twice. So that's a good start So I'm going to first write out the new day. So today is Saturday Hold on. Let me figure out calligraphy Not my best try but I'm on a bed give me a break and I think I'm just gonna rewrite all of these down because I Don't have different things to do Yeah, I think this is a lot to do for today overall. I like bullet journaling so far. It wasn't hard writing this stuff down in class I mean it took around two minutes of my day, but I know it seems pretty basic right now I'm gonna try to add more interesting things to it as I think of them But for now, I'm gonna organize my house and I will work on my bullet journal the next day two hours later Oh my god, I have been working on my office room all day, but I can finally check This off my list this Check it off. Also, one of you guys decided to send me some of the stationery Which I think is so cute and there's some stickers that I've collected a long time ago But I want to see if I can you know add some interestingness to this journal Interesting this really Frederick really and when you please don't watch this and for my viewers. Why do you watch me? Well for now, I think I'm going to do That one so beautiful so it's been a long day today I thought it'd be a good time to just recap on what I did for the weekend. Let's open her up So Saturday, I could only do one of these by the way, you're gonna have to deal with this. Oh my god I'm about to get comments asking me what's wrong. Okay looking back at this video I have it playing right over there if you were wondering so like I'm going along with it. I'm fine I'm not trying to have people pity me or like give me attention I still can't believe I have to clarify this because I know some people out there gonna twist my words or What I do or the fact that even youtubers can breathe They'll somehow get up in a scandal. Hi, my name is Frederick chin I'm a real human being who goes through some tough times. I go through some negative phases in my life I've had them before in the past. This is real life for you. Wake up YouTube All right teenagers are kind of angsty and emotional especially if you're a cancer and you're just sensitive like me So yeah, sometimes they go through some shit up in here, but honestly this journal has helped me like Realize my own emotions more and it's also helped me realize that the way I think Isn't right and I should change that so that's how it helped me Let's keep going for now. I'm gonna make a new column for this site cuz once again, this is the rough draft I want to make a column talking about how I'm feeling so I can look back and reflect on it Just because I value being in touch with your emotions as a person back to my actual thing though So I did everything but two things that's pretty good These ones don't have a deadline this one has a deadline that I've already missed but this one doesn't so I'm gonna write Monday right here And then we're gonna get ready for the next day now this time I don't need to look it up because I've already practiced the word of Monday many times still mad about it But I'll get over it not my best But keep in mind doing this one handed. All right Let's wait for tomorrow. Oh wait wait wait wait wait Four shit that is a terrible four. I don't know why I wrote it like that me It's a rough draft by March 4th I already got into the routine of crossing things out and writing extra notes for myself during the week But this and my you student here right here is supposed to be smart but has another stupid moment Did I just spell to zero Not my best moment, but once again rough draft at this point I didn't really want to film every single day because I thought it would get tedious and boring But here's a clip of me trying a new calligraphy style for a little bit However, I stopped doing it by April your boy loves going through identity crises crises Even with something as insignificant as his own handwriting This is called the self-reflection cloud where I basically write down my emotions every day and for March I decided to only use orange and green because I use that on the cover page And also we all know that there are those colors that no one uses in their set of pens brushes anything But my parents taught me better and you got to get your money's worth So I'm forcing myself to use my two least favorite colors So I forgot to do anything for Thursday it is currently 513 and There's nothing here. I don't want therapy talk. Okay, not in this household. I'm fine I'm gonna try to write everything I have to do because I didn't do any of this yesterday And I want to see if I can decorate this more because it's looking plain. I need to make my dream journal come true Don't you dare judge me. We all have our moments. Anyways for day eight. I went to a new page and used a ruler Yes, I'm extra. What did you expect from a gay person? But I wanted to even make one page without messing up somehow on it Monday was easy because I actually did everything on my list for Once and then I wrote Tuesday and you'll notice I struggle hard with s's and y's when it comes to this style But you're gonna see that this idiot Frederick messes up again because it's the twelfth not the eleventh you ignorant Sloth and then decided to wrap myself from like Monday anyways on to the next day As you can see I was very angry towards the number 11 So I scratched it out and also I forgot to do a self-reflection for the 11th because I was so Traumatized by my mistake. So I just did it today Notice how I change locations every day just because I'm doing this last minute also. Yes. I know I have Christmas pajamas I'm sorry. They're way too comfortable I know it's April don't come at me. But today was just an ordinary day same routine I'm gonna be honest with you. I completely forgot to write on my journal for Thursday You'll notice I started losing motivation by the end of the month just because I also stopped writing the date next to each day Because I just can't do numbers and calligraphy. I don't know what to think in what to be thin. I'm blue And uh, hi, uh, it's been a while, huh? So like I said, I stopped at day 20 and I didn't look at my journal for a bit just because you know Issues but I'm better now. Please don't therapy talk me. I already feel it coming in the comments But my friend bought me these dual-sided pens. I have a brush and a fine point tip So over April I wanted to try one of Amanda's bullet journals because I fell in love with how she does them I first outlined in pencil then pen and then I added the tourists and Aries consolations to make the cover Because those fall in the month of April then in order to save space and make a faster journal I added a mood tracker and made a space theme because we did stars on the cover sheet I wrote down eight moods and then made sure I can mix and match them because your boy goes through many Emotions throughout the day then instead of writing out the next day at the end of every night I wanted to plan ahead for one So this is one whole week ready and I just have to add my little nose to it And I wanted to spice it up by adding the quote shine bright like a diamond And I should have outlined in pencil first. I don't know why I was so confident because Look at how bad it is. I can't write big I always write small and it just it ruined it and I'm really mad because I just did rihanna dirty But yeah, that was me trying to bullet for a whole month straight But going forward I'm gonna try to be more motivated to do this because it's like if you can take care of this You can also learn how to take care of other things, especially yourself But it was really fun It's not just a complete waste of time because you get to learn how to improve your handwriting and Do calligraphy and draw every day So I'm gonna keep doing this if you guys want me to like I don't want to do a recap in a month or so Let me know but that is all I have for today once again Buy it and if you enjoyed give us a like so I can afford college Leave a comment down below about what you want me to do next and subscribe for more videos every saturday slash sunday Or wednesday slash thursdays and not procrastinating. I want you to hit that notification bell And as always I love you guys and everything is less than three and once again Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and helping me get through bad times and Oh and um watch that video