 The problem with saying no is that we find it difficult to say it firmly. Sometimes, even if we say no, people don't believe us because of how we say it. So, here are five steps you can take for your nose to be seen as real boundaries. Number one, check in with yourself. We grew up thinking that helping others is a selfless act, but self-care is not selfish. Checking in with ourselves is one way we know how we actually feel about any situation. Assess what you are getting into and see if it aligns with who you are and what you believe in. Knowing what you need and who you are is the key to making the right decisions, because it is only you who knows yourself best. Number two, believe in your skills and capacity. Often, our yeses are the result of feeling inferior. Self-efficacy, a person's belief that they can succeed in their endeavors, helps us build self-confidence. This can help you create goals and know which direction you need to go. Believing you have the capacity and the skills will give you more confidence in setting boundaries. When you know your skills, you will be able to stand firm and not be directed to do whatever others want. Number three, set boundaries fairly. A no is a no. Now that you are reminded of your priorities and skills, you need to start to set those boundaries without exception. Saying no should apply equally among colleagues, peers, and even family. Putting these boundaries in place fairly will let people know your priorities are non-negotiable. Not making excuses for anyone will gain respect from others and let them know that you are true to your boundaries. Number four, offer alternatives. If people find it hard to solve their issues without your help, then offer alternative solutions. You can maybe give them a timetable or appoint another person to do it for you. This will reiterate your boundaries and will help people realize which favours you can and cannot help with. Number five, just do it. There is no greater practice than to just do it. You'll never be able to truly understand your limits and your priorities unless you practice it. Start with the small stuff, like saying no to a weekend trip with your friends because you're too tired from work. Then say no to your family when they ask you for your time during a very important time in your career. When you start doing this, you'll understand what you truly want, how people will react, and how you'll handle it better the next time. Boundaries are difficult to create. We never want to miss out on anything, and we want to impress people and make them think we can do it all. But we are only human and have limits or boundaries that keep us safe and protected. It may be tempting to say yes to every single opportunity or request, but the major yes should be to yourself and your priorities. So remember, sometimes saying no is the best yes you can give yourself. Can you relate to any of these points? Let us know in the comments below. Also, feel free to share this video with others who might benefit from it. As always, the references used are listed in the description box below. Until next time friends, take care and subscribe to Psych2Go for more great content. Thanks for watching.