 Do you want Aaron to click for you? No, I think I can click myself, is it? Oh, sorry. Okay. Hi, my name is Elisha. I'm going to find a microphone. Alright, alright, don't fuck this up. Okay, I got this. Oh, positive snuff talk! Okay. So, I'm going to share with you a little bit more about my life, my story, and as Angela said, this is my second time, the first time I did this talk was two years ago. So really my top title should be this. Before she went mad. Oh, the font is all over the place, but you get the point. So, just in case you're wondering, why is she here? Why is she messing up in life? So let me share a little bit more about myself. So I work at Facebook and my passion project is contact ladies, and over the last year, since we have launched, we have taught over 100 women how to code and 5 of them are software engineers. Which is great. If I still haven't earned your trust, Trace and I think I'm awesome, so I think I'm legit. So I'm going to tell you my story, my set up story, and how I got here. So it's a really, really long story. I'll try to go really fast because I'm trying to give a good summary of what happened, the talk that I get in two years back, and then I will talk more about what happened from then. So it's going to be an emotional roller coaster, so put on your emotional set up. So this is my set up. I started when I was a recent grad, just graduated from college. I can't code, can't find a tech co-founder, learn how to code. Now she's set up fast, right? So on the outside, lunch was covered by a bunch of places, awesome, awesome. I was invited to speak in a lot of places, but wait, that's more. So this is the traffic that I have for my entire site. If you can't tell on the site, it's actually just less than 500. So in conclusion, I can tell you that my traffic stopped really bad for two years. So after two years, I was really, really stuck. I had no idea what I could do, so I moved to Silicon Valley for three months just to be in the midst of people's money than I am trying to figure out my shit. And I decided to end my startup. So this, I'm going to start slowing down now. So this is the text that I sent to my friend. And at the point of time, this was the hardest thing that I had to do because for three years, my identity as an individual, as a human being, was intertwined with my startup. When my startup gets a lot of courage, I feel like I'm awesome. And when my startup died, I feel like, why should I be alive? And at the point of time, I could actually empathize with someone's founders, think that suicide is actually not an unreasonable option. So my immediate thought was to find meaning in life again. So I immediately enrolled myself into an accelerated program in hopes that by starting a new venture, I could tell myself that I didn't fail. I nearly peed with it. But what I learned is that it was incredibly stressful to try and start a new startup while dealing with a startup with a new one. And I knew that if I would keep pushing myself like that, I would break. I would go insane. So this is what I learned, give yourself time to make. So I did that. I took a few months, and I decided to bring myself back up again. So I resumed a bunch of different places and was rejected by the venture places. So fuck you, people there. And one thing I learned about startup failure is that nobody owes you shit. When I fail, I feel like I don't need someone to give me sympathy because you know, hustle, hustle, stir it up. But truth is, some people care, but most people don't owe you shit. But in reality, you only need one job. And three months after I decided that I should move on with my startup, I was employed by Techinager. This was sometime in March 2015. And at this company, what I did was to travel around the region. I managed to talk to a lot of people. I've seen thousands of startups. And it was something that really fit my personality because I really, I care about startup founders and I want to help them succeed. So, you see, right, that's a good life after a startup failure, right? And then it was five months after. You guys are so mean, I got fired again. So the reason was that I wasn't a culture failure. Five months into the job. I could laugh about it now, but at the point of time, I was really, I was really, because I just picked myself up from the startup failure and this is what I get. And when the arrangements started, I became really, really depressed because it is one level to fuck up when you start up. It's a whole new level of fuck up to fuck up after moving on from your fuck up. You follow that sentence. So at the point of time, I get like, why do I even care, right? Like, I felt that the words like mission and purpose driven life and my dreams all those words are fancy words from fancy people. It might apply to anyone, but me. Because, you know, like, why do I care? And I was like, really, I felt that, you know, perhaps it was time for me to grow up, stop being so idealistic, just get a job and live my life. Whatever that means, without purpose. I remember, I remember this lesson from my first mistake. That, you know, I was very quick to write myself off, like, like a fire, and then, therefore, I wrote it off, like, seven years back with my rush time. That was a bit rash. The good thing about, well, at the point of time, my dairy company, the same, as sort of like a parting gift of source, was they sent me to the rice conference in Hong Kong, where I spent a lot of time just to reflect and recharge, and I do that by taking ferry rides between Kowloon and Hong Kong Island, because it was super cheap and it was really relaxing. So this is one of the photos that I took when I was at a ferry ride. So, I guess myself, the good thing was that, another super lightning was that I saved a lot. I saved like half of my monthly salary, so I do have a personal runway for me to just chill. Chill and you'll figure out what I want to do, recharge from there. And two months after that, 10 ladies was born. This was, it was a project that I was, I was sitting on my ass doing nothing, so I thought, why not just follow my passion? And that is how Genesis of this passion project was created. And a month after that, I was hired by Facebook. So I could talk a lot about my experiences there, but I would share an interesting story with you. So last year, my Facebook ad exhibition was at a rice conference in Hong Kong, the same conference that my previous company sent me in there. So I checked in at Hosea on to Grand Hyatt. I got free up in the balcony, which is super awesome. And remember this photo I took? You should remember it as a rhetorical question, but I'll just show you like two minutes ago. When I was chilling in my balcony, feeling like a baller, that's when I realized that I was actually overlooking the ferry route that I used to take a year ago. So at that point of time, I was like, wow, holy shit, look at all these step lonely losers. Because that thought did cross my mind and it wasn't like the first thought that I had. It was just a common weird. So it was a lot for me to take in because a year ago, I was there. I was fired and I was really depressed. And a year after, I was at this balcony and I was a grand hire, feeling baller, and I was hired in a meaningful job. So really, this was how I felt. It was a lot to take in emotionally, actually. I felt that I was poetry as well as myself. So I went from, when I looked back in my life and how I got here, I went from thinking that suicide isn't an unreasonable option to thinking that words like passion and meaning and dreams are words that are not for me to being here, like I was at a balcony and now I'm here, here. So that, it's really hard to describe how I felt. So I don't think I was incredibly intelligent when I know that I took the privilege of that and I would get here one day. It's kind of like, random almost. In fact, a lot of some of my friends, they tell me that they feel kind of disappointed that I let go of my startup because who knew I was seated there. But I felt that I would not be able to grasp new opportunity if my hands were always tied by things I cannot let go of. And I think some of I wonder, you know, perhaps like going through all this pain, this hopelessness, this disappointment is exactly the path that I need to take to get here. So, so like, how should I do it? So for me, it is important on the reaction. Sorry, sorry. So I'll share with you one of my biggest fear, even though I could recount my story and one of my biggest fears actually is that I know that one day I will come back again. Maybe come back here to sleep for a good time. But I know it's going to come some time, some point of my life and I know it's going to take a lot from me. Which is why it is very important for me to stand here and tell my story because when I was really down and out, I really wanted to hear, I wanted to know if there was someone who would say something like this. This is all right, let me know at least I'm not a good. So this, by standing here and sharing my story, I'm telling you, trying to be like someone for you, even though a lot of people are telling me, don't tell people you're inspired, expect me to be like this. I told everybody about it. So, not just for you and the audience, but standing here and sharing my story, I'm also doing it for me. Because one day when I'm down and out again, I want to know that I have stood here and I have to be able to find it. So, quickly wrap up. So, back to the topic I'm going to explore today. What I kind of guarantee you that life, after a startup failure, will be a bit of a resist. Maybe you'll suck even once that I did. Just hang it there. So, what I can guarantee you is that my startup story, my life story in general, did not end after a startup failure and so your story wouldn't end there, too.