 Being an old research man myself with an advertising agency named Blair Thomas and Cain I once looked up the source of that old chestnut about coming events casting their shadows before It's from a rather obscure poem called Lockheil's warning by an English poet named Thomas Campbell I've used the quotation many times, but actually you never know what shadow is foretelling what event I Know I didn't have the slightest inkling that I was in for the biggest event in my life when Dr. Johnson said to me Well as a matter of fact since midnight every baby that's been born in the hospital has been a boy The CBS radio workshop Dedicated to man's imagination the theater of the mind Today the big event a fantasy for radio by Gloria Dapper and Draper Lewis a Fantasy about the law of averages and the day the law of averages ran out It may seem like ancient history going over that day now, but everyone else has had a chance to tell what happened to them So why shouldn't I? I was in the waiting room of the maternity ward of a hospital when it all started There were four or five other guys sweating it out with me. We'd been there most of the night It was close to 1 30 in the morning But it wasn't quiet like it usually is at that time in a hospital Mr. Blair my boss had arrived around 10 to keep me company at least that was his excuse for bending my ear for three solid hours I kept saying to him look mr. Blair You don't have to bother waiting with me. It may be hours before anything happened. It's my pleasure Danny my complete pleasure Now just relax old easy Blair is quarterbacking this play There's no reason the world why we can't improve each shining hour with a little business for Blair Thomas and King Well, mr. Blair, I told you my dad wouldn't be interested in that kind of a deal if you're interested Danny He'll be interested. You don't know him the way I do. He never wants to oh just a minute mr. Blair No, I'm sorry mr. No, not yet Mr. Vance. Yeah, I'm fans. It's a boy mr. Vance You just follow me another boy Well, what are you gonna do? So maybe we'll end up with a basketball Calling dr. Johnson dr. Johnson, please. I wonder what all this excitement's about anyway. I wish Adele were here I don't Maggie's mother. She was doing from Europe tonight on the Washington. She said she'd come straight to the hospital Oh, maybe she was held up going through customs or getting a cab from the pier Danny look You don't want to spend the rest of your life and research You're cut out for bigger things boy. There's no reason why you couldn't end up being captain of the team But you've got to get in there and fight you can't just sit around waiting for lady luck to hand you the ball You make your own luck boy. You grab that ball and run Now that's all I'm asking you to do. Well, I don't know how I could explain it to him Oh, there's nothing to explain just ask your dad to get on the phone with that chain at drugstores He's got and tell him to duck every other headache pill except banish Make sure banish is right there where everyone could see it buy it get the clerks to push them a little Just a little push that's all what about the new ad campaign on banish We'll use that too But you need a little something extra riding for you if you want things your way my boy If your dad gets banish starting up the field no one can stop us Nobody has to wait for the breaks of he's smart my boy And you're smart Danny Danny any news yet doctor not yet Might as well go home and get some sleep. I could use some myself Come on. I'll walk you down the hall. Mr. Blair coming Danny boy Maggie's okay. Isn't she doctor? She's fine Be nice if it's a girl Sort of planned on a little girl Better keep your fingers crossed. You see you mean you think it's gonna be a boy Well, as a matter of fact since midnight every baby that's been born in the hospital has been a boy Calling dr. Johnson dr. Johnson, please We left the hospital on the Lexington Avenue side mr. Blair hailed a cab and offered to drop me off But just then a second cab pulled over to the curb and I told him I'd take my own since I was going over to the west side And he lived east on sudden place As the cab pulled out into the early morning traffic I kept thinking about what mr. Blair had told me the call he wanted me to make to dad in the morning And especially I kept thinking about Maggie and the baby and how much easier it would be if we had a little extra dough coming in I Didn't even hear the driver when he said funny thing about the traffic tonight It's all been gone in the same direction was it really right to try to twist chance your way And what would happen if you did so gone west through? Lucky thing you live on the west side. Now what? That's a lucky thing. You live on the west side the traffic's all been gone west since midnight Anything strange about that? Oh It's all been going downtown too Every place except near pier 32. Oh, what a mess that is pier 32. That's where the Washington dock brother What a mess might even call it a riot get me over there fast the fires you won't stand a cab You'll never get on up here to wait for me here. All right. You heard what I said No one else is allowed on the pier now just keep moving and I won't get officer Please I've got to get on the pier. There's a member of my family getting off the wash. I don't care if it's Marilyn Monroe No one's allowed on the pier. It ain't safe the waiters now. Oh, what's happened? What's going on out there? Oh for yourself. There hasn't been a passenger off that liner yet. It hasn't had the baggage under the letter R Well, that's ridiculous. That's impossible Ridiculous or impossible that's the way it is 1800 passengers getting off that liner and all the names starting with a letter R Figure it out for yourself, mister I Went home made a pot of coffee and sat down to wait two hours later the front doorbell rang I opened the door and Adele said to me The next time I marry a man named Robertson, please drag me away from the altar. Oh Where's my bedroom? I'm dead The next morning Adele and I decided that everything that had happened the night before the babies the traffic the mess at the pier Everything had just been one of those freak accidents. Well, what else could it be? I have done a lot of thinking about more important things. I decided that maybe EC Blair was right after all Why should I spend the rest of my life in research? It wasn't much fun being a permanent little fish in a big pond I've been waiting too long for lady luck to toss a little extra loot my way And now for the first time I had the chance to make things work the way I wanted them I went into the living room and picked up the phone Long distance I want to make a person-to-person call to mr. John Nolan sunshine drug corporation Chicago The number is temple 3 4 5 7 3 It wasn't until I left the apartment that I started to find out what was really going on at first It just seemed like one coincidence after another. I stopped by the newsstand and Pete said to me You're gonna have to take another paper this morning, mr. Nolan. I've been all sold out of the time since 7 30 And the bus driver was yelling oh No, I can't change another five aren't they making anything except five buck bills. No stop it. Will you stop it? But that was just the beginning when we pulled into Madison and 53rd all the passengers got off at the same stop all of them They all went into the same building where I work. They all got on the same elevator All right, don't push And they all got out at the same floor my floor Mr. Elmore Thomas and Kane reception no, mr. Thomas. I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'm sorry miss But I'm already ten minutes late for my apartment. Would you please see if these I have one pair of hands If you'll just be quiet and give me a chance What? Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you mr. Thomas. No, sir Okay, everyone now quiet down and let's take it one at a time one at a time Some madhouse out there. It's getting worse all the time You know everything has gone real goofy this morning if you noticed anything strange going on besides the riot outside I certainly have the teletypes are coming in by the bushel. We have a profit sharing bonus this Christmas. What do you mean? Our sales. They're fantastic in ten major cities every Blair Thomas and Kane product is suddenly booming I've been around long enough to see a product catch fire, but 32 of them never. Let me see those teletypes This is incredible and Banish is right in there with him Banish is leading the field as mr. Blair would put it Looks like our lucky day, huh? I'm not so sure it's luck What else is world-shaking call Bill Paris about lunch today. I'll do that right away Funny thing happened out in Jackson Heights this morning every dog on our block bit the poor male man He was a wreck Hastings and cold. Good morning Bill Paris, please. Yeah, we'll remind me to tell you what happened on our bus Hello, Bill Danny Nolan. Oh, yeah, Danny. Look, I can't make lunch today I'll be lucky if I ever get anything to eat again Oh things jumping at your place too aren't those teletypes the kind you have daydreams about nightmares you mean You've got a funny sense of humor today What do you mean? I mean we're practically wiped out if this trend doesn't reverse itself in an hour We'll have to throw in the towel a bill. I don't get it Hey, what sort of practices are you guys using over at your shop everything? Your handling is turning to gold the rest of Madison Avenue is getting ready to move to the Bowery You mean our products are the only ones that are moving or if you call Greece lightning moving Not a recorded sale on the country for anything except Blair products today Danny we've been friend for a long time. You sure there isn't anything under the counter going on over there Bill look, I'll call you back if I'm still here. If not, try welfare Island Mr. Blair has just called a special conference. You want it right now in the lion's den Let's get in unison here. I suppose you've noticed the teletypes I'd say that this is a 14 chart day for Blair Thomas and Cain Men have brought you in here to see that this roller coaster stays on the track, but it doesn't make sense Mr. Blair, I've been talking to a friend of mine over at Hastings and Cole. They're worried. I worried they're frantic Walker all grandma. He've already pulled down the flag. Hastings is next. They'll be turning in his dinosaur before noon Take my word for it. What do you mean? They're they're out of business. Yep, and we're just starting the Jet fuel pumping it in when we really start to travel Like that right through the gold barry, but it doesn't make sense I did the research on all our products and we ought to have about one eighth of the market not all of it I planned the campaign for vanish, but I didn't think it would sell like it's been going all morning Why two stores in Brooklyn are sold out already. You know what? Something is wrong with the law of averages You just can't figure on 100% of all sales and you can't figure on traffic going all the same way and all boy babies and all Baggage all dumped under one letter. Oh, don't give me that talk about law of averages. That's just another law made to be broken We're gonna stock the shelves of every store in this country shoulder-high The other agencies can pass out severance pay We'll have a Christmas bonus to put a caddy in everyone's garage and any You're in for a very pleasant surprise when you pick up your paycheck on Friday. Hey, if you know what I mean Now by lunchtime Everyone knew that something was going on it was all around you the traffic on Madison Avenue was jammed going downtown Just a few cars coming up town one store would be packed to the door another store almost empty There were extras on the street with headline stories from all over the world Strange half funny half frightening stories Dateline London There was an unusual scene at the famed escort club this noon when Sir John Avery Avery answered a waiter in the dining room No Good man, I have been having lunch at this club every Thursday since 1921 and Every Thursday, I've had mutton for lunch. And do you mean to stand there and tell me no mutton, sir John Deadline Lucerne Switzerland It is with considerable embarrassment that we are forced to report that last night at exactly 12 o'clock midnight every Swiss watch and clock in Lucerne stopped in an interview with this reporter Francis bustler president of the world famous bustler watch company said I can't explain it There is no explanation Pardon me, but do you happen to have the correct time? Dateline Moscow It has been reported to the Kremlin that this morning nobody wrote to work on the subway Everyone walked to work Since it is known throughout the world that the subway was invented by Russia and since Moscow has the most beautiful subway system ever built It is hereby ordered that everyone will ride the subway on their way home from work Everyone that is an order I went back to the office after lunch the place was still spinning like a king-sized squirrel cage And most of the executives were walking around with dollar signs in their eyes And then I heard a sound which seemed a little out of place in all the money-making merriment And I saw a lane dabbing at her eyes and trying not to let me see her face Well look anyone interested in a gray flannel shoulder. It's available at the moment It's nothing mr. Nolan, please. I'm sorry foolish a woman's provocative and privilege Nothing I can do to help Not unless you'd like to go down to Washington and blow up the Pentagon. I Just got a cable from Jerry He's my fiance stationed in Germany His Christmas leave has been canceled Any reason for his leave being canceled why I didn't say it just said all leaves canceled Once to get married Suddenly had a sort of strange feeling in the pit of my stomach I guess maybe that was the first time I began to feel a little frightened The world seemed to be slowly sliding off its axis And all at once I wanted to be with Maggie and Adele and in my own apartment where I could shut the door And feel reasonably safe I walked home and as I turned the corner into our apartment I saw a lot of equipment spread all over the pavement poses The super was talking to a bunch of workmen as I passed. How do you like this mr. Nolan? Believe it or not every one of them washing machines in the basement overflowed almost floated the whole place off the block I Walked into the lobby and there was a sign saying all elevators out of order I climbed the 10 flights to my apartment Adele met me at the door Mr. Blair has called three times. He wants you to come back to the office. Well if he calls again, I'm not here I don't want to talk to her Danny. What's happening? What's going wrong? I went to the supermarket this afternoon and there wasn't a clerk in the place. They all stayed home Yeah, that figures and there was a Santa Claus near Harold Square He had to have an armed guard escort him to the bank He'd collected so much money, but none of the others had collected his sins You know, this is what I told mr. Blair at the meeting, but he wouldn't listen I told him that something has happened to the law of averages As a hospital called yet not yet No, I'll get it Telegram for mr. Nolan sign here. Okay Here you are. Thanks, mister Danny it it isn't about Maggie. Is it? Oh Danny, what is it? It's from the commanding officer of my reserve unit. I've been ordered to report for active duty in 24 hours And so tonight a special emergency session of the United Nations has been called to deal with the present world crisis The issues are these if war should come the casualties could very easily happen only to one side Our side or the enemies in every country orders for total mobilization have been issued by dawn The world will be an armed camp Waiting the enemy powers have sent their ultimatum to the United Nations surrender or perish Will we call their bluff or can we afford to take a chance and oppose them? Tonight's vote will answer that all important question. So stay tuned Well, there's the answer for the telegram and the reason why Elaine and her soldier in Germany won't be getting married this Christmas This is what I've been afraid might happen all of a sudden something which is very funny becomes very serious as Serious as survival of the fittest or the luckiest Danny don't talk like that Yeah, the day the law of averages ran out That's what they'll call it in the history books if there is any history after tomorrow Well, I hope Maggie and I don't have a boy Hello Yes Danny, it's the hospital Shouldn't be too long now, Mr. Nolan Would you like to listen to the radio? We've got one on in the recreation room. No, thanks Oh, isn't it? I mean about the UN and they voted yet. No, sir. Not yet Danny Had Danny may I see you for a minute? I'll call you as soon as anything happens About the baby. I mean, thank you Well, mr. Blair, I tried to get you this afternoon. Yeah, I know I want to talk to you Danny What for break some more laws? Don't you know what's happened? The agency is out of business Danny What do you mean? We haven't a single account left Everything's down the drain Gone so It's happened to you too The clients decided they didn't need an agency anymore with everything selling like wildfire. Why have salesmen? Why have advertising why radio TV? Why an agency? They all cancel their contracts all of them What do you plan to do? Well under the circumstances nothing I'm going to the Pentagon in the morning see if they need me Later when this is all over, maybe I'll try again There's a chance of getting a foothold Even in the ad business you mean you're starting to believe that there is such a thing as chance. Well, sure there is Well, at least they used to be but not anymore It'll come back how you're gonna make it come back You didn't want anything to do with it before because it got in your way and you got me hoping to beat it too Now look what's happened just you know Yes, doctor told me to tell you that it's a boy a boy Yes, sir What are we going to do Danny matter Danny? You can't have everything you want. You know, well, yes, doctor, but a boy The other babies fine too first twins we've had all day a healthy boy and a beautiful beautiful girl After I'd seen Maggie in the twins Mr.. Blair, and I left the hospital together And I can't tell you how good it was to see the traffic running in both directions again on Lexington Avenue I was even happy when we couldn't get a cab Mr.. Blair walked east and I started west across town. I Really didn't understand everything that had happened what it meant 24 hours out of our lives with nothing working, right? Why had it happened? Mr.. Blair had been so sure of a golden future so sure you could force your luck So sure that laws were made to be broken and now the laws were back again and things were normal again Christmas was on its way Singing down from a gray blue spire of a lonely Madison Avenue church and then just for a few moments I had a glimpse of what it all might have meant Maybe we can twist fate to get our own way But we'd better be careful Well, you break a law of nature You do so at your own peril and you better hope that the law you've broken remains in force to be broken again This day was the shadow of what would happen if we all followed separate tracks and denied each other an equal chance That was the warning of the big event We have been listening to the CBS radio workshop and the big event an original radio fantasy by Gloria Dapper and Draper Lewis Musical score composed by Ben Ludlow Conducted by Alfredo Antonini and produced and directed in New York by Paul Roberts William Redfield was heard as Danny Nolan Ralph Bell as mr. Blair Ethel Owen as Mrs. Robertson and Roger DeCoven as dr. Johnson Others in the cast included Elaine Ross Ivor Francis Herm Dinkin and Ruby D This is Warren Switty inviting you to listen again next week when from New York the CBS radio workshop presents All is bright by Henry E. Fritch The story of the fabulous search for the origin of one of the best loved Christmas carols Finally traced to the singing of a train songbird Next week on the CBS radio workshop