 Good morning. Tuesday already, huh? Volcall, handle the entities. Connors, teleport to the next dimension. Grieves? Already gone. Good job. Right. Why the hell are you wearing scuba gear? There is a giant, unkillable, uncapsurable, man-eating crocodile in the Ruzizi River in Burundi. So that's where 682 got off to. But right, it's your turn to head the retrieval team. Oh, bring Dr. Blue with you. It's time he learned how to reload a chainsaw cannon. All right, settle something for me. The other staff are saying that if I stand here like this, that this entity will be contained. Do you buy this? Testing a CP-reducted human trumpet. Good. Let me warm up real quick. Of course. What are you doing, Dr. Sherman? Oh, this is for Dr. Bright's birthday. I mean, what's more entertaining than a trumpet player with no trumpet, right? We're so lucky this entity got transferred to us. I'll make sure the O5 give it a day pass. It'll be great. All right, ready for Star Wars? What's up with ideas for SCPs can be hard, but when you train your brain right, anything could be an SCP. Stitch this, grab a random object in your vicinity, and explain to us how it's an SCP. I'll go first. This may look like an ordinary SCP-049 t-shirt from the Site-42 merch store, link in the bio, wink, wink. But in reality, there's something strange about it. And not the fact that it makes me invisible on green screen for some reason. We keep creating these bad boys because somehow they either cure or mask the pestilence. We still don't know what the pestilence is, but O4-9 gets real rambunctious when someone it claims has the pestilence is in the cell with it. But when that same person went in wearing this shirt, O4-9 didn't attack them. Now all the plague doctor stands keep buying them. We don't know if it actually does anything or if O4-9 is just a narcissist. R.I.P. Raymond Hamm. Let me out. Let me out. Activate the entity. Poor kid. Turned into an animatronic. Anderson Robotics is far more sophisticated than those Fazbear Entertainment Lunkheads, but the butchery is all the same. How far would you go to push humanity to the next level? I do a lot of terrible things for the Foundation, but this is not okay. Reset the test. Attention Site-42 staff, this is Dr. Theron Sherman. I will be out of the office for the weekend of May 15th because I have been deployed to Mexico. Apparently I'm here to retrieve a compromise agent, but I don't have a lot of the details. I also don't know why they chose to send a site director rather than an agent or someone who knows Spanish. Keep an eye on my feed. I might need your help deciphering some of the clues to figure out what happened to our lost agent. Or maybe you just want to enjoy the sunset and the scenery. Secure. Contain. Protect. Good morning, agents. The investigation begins. I've checked in at the same hotel that our missing agent was staying at. I asked the hotel staff, but our job is to be unnoticed and unmemorable, so no one remembers anything. I did notice this anubis statue dead center of the hotel courtyard. I couldn't tell you why the statue of an Egyptian god of death is in the center of a Mexican hotel. Am I missing something? Let me know. I'll keep digging. Dr. Sherman checking in. I'm going to investigate the statue I thought was anubis, but it's actually a Zolodog. I told you, this is not my area of expertise. It is black and gray with specks of blue and green paint wear out. I'm not seeing any sort of distinctive markings that would stand out to me as some sort of lead. Excuse me. Oh, hello. Do you want me to start? Yeah, go ahead and start. This is the front desk for you, sir. Oh, thank you. Apologies for the interruption. I was approached by a hotel employee. This note addressed to my alias was given to the front desk. This was inside the envelope. It seems someone is playing a game with us. Perhaps the entity our agent was sent to contain? You all work on the symbols. I'll keep searching the premises. Excellent code-breaking agents. By scratching out the left side of each symbol, flipping them upside down and inverting them as in a mirror, we get a room number 1-3-0. I took the liberty of procuring room 1-3-0. Let's investigate. Right. The beds are made. The room is ready. I don't think we're going to be finding a lot of evidence, unfortunately. Patio, hammock, Mexico. And the curtains. Pull out the chair. Here, now. Caution to those who may be attending Anglican or Catholic gatherings in the next seven weeks. The entity known as Cousin Johnny, SCP-2852, has been feeling rather, let's say, youthful and exuberant due to the upcoming cicada re-emergence in the next week. Appearances and the severity of are up. And if you see members of Mobile Task Forces, the party crashers, cater duty or the altar boys, give them a pat on the back. They need it. SCP Foundation, what's your emergency? Oh, I can't put my finger on it. I'm just kidding. It's an army of arms. Our Mobile Task Force can handle that. I'm sure we'll nail that entity. Oh, he's dead. A total facility has been secured. A full site evacuation will commence once SCP-096 and 173 have been re-detained. You can't just call it infinite. You have to test and see if it's just really, really big. Do I have to keep going? Yeah, keep going. Heading to the break room to grab a snack. You got any chips in there? Robert, you're using the microwave all by yourself. Okay, let's check. You did not put any paper bags. No. No Styrofoam. No. And no metal. You're not sure which metal? You know, like a metal spoon? Oh my God. I can't believe this. It fucking happened again that I slipped on a banana peel and then after that, I stepped on a bunch of marbles which started rolling me down an open rural highway. And I was going through this tunnel, but it turned out it wasn't even a tunnel. It was a painting of a tunnel on the side of a mountain, so I slammed into it. And then an anvil fell on my head, followed by a grand piano. And when I got out of the piano, my teeth were replaced with piano keys and I was all bunched up like an accordion. I had a big bump coming out of my head. Can't believe this keeps happening. Which one of you knuckleheads entered 049 into the talent show? This is a high-risk Euclid entity that... Okay, but that is wildly impressive. Information security director grieves. Why is Malo on TikTok? Don't worry, overseer. I got one of our top retrieval agents en route to engage with the entity. Agent Derulo, are you in place? That's a big bitch. Don't worry, you've got this. No, the same name at the beginning of every song is an ancillary anomalous property. Its main property is telekinesis. We need a bigger car. Tactical Retreat, good idea. 096, in a room with one of the IKEA... I wanted to go to bed. I have nearly finished my margarita. But y'all keep bringing me back with good questions. I love my job, I love my job. To answer your question first, I think the IKEA employees are dead. My logic. If 096 can recognize that you've recognized its face from... Say it with me now. Four fucking pixels! Then 096 can recognize when the IKEA employees using their sonar or whatever they use. If they can see, they can see 096 and get dead. But in researching this I found something worse. In the tale ominously titled, Shame It Didn't Work, we inform 096's original researcher, Dr. Dan, that we decommissioned 096 by launching it into the sun. But in the different tale, in my eyes, indisposed, in disguise as no one knows, hides a face, lies a snake, the sun in my disgrace, the sun is... Hey there, Site 42 fam. It's come to my attention that not a lot of people know that we have a Site 42 SCP merch store. We've commissioned art from multiple artists to make SCP-related merch. And we've got stickers for the Site 42 channel. And so if you want some SCP merch, as well as helping support the Site 42 channel, teespring.com slash stores slash Site 42. Thank you in advance and cheers.