 That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theatre. Tonight, a program of mystery with Vincent Price as your host. Here's a preview. The wonderful things I see happening. You're smiling. Well, yes. I always loved money. Washington, Jefferson, Hamilton, they look so great and green. The only thing is, I don't know how long I can keep myself looking like a corp. You'll have plenty of time to practice. The Sears Radio Theatre will begin after this message from your local station. This is Vincent Price. Of all professions, none seems more glamorous than show business. The appeal of being able to express innermost feelings and fantasies with audience approval is so strong that the call to be an actor or an actress has never been greater. But once a part of that special society, glamour and fortune, most often seem far away indeed. And the actor is faced with the everyday realities of life. Every time we have the least disagreement, the same thing comes up. It's not the least disagreement. It's the only disagreement. I wish you'd get off your head. It's very difficult talking to you when you're upside down. Yoga clears the brain. You might try it sometime. Oh, Tom, don't you go out on me now. I'm not getting furious here just so you can go to sleep on me. And I wish you'd get off your head so we don't have to talk to each other upside down. I am an actor. I will always be an actor. I don't want to shake you up, but time does go by, and you should be told that working once every six months for union minimum doesn't pay bills. Also, it's obvious I won't be able to keep my job much longer. In another month, I'll be out to here. Oh, listen, by the time the baby's born, we won't have to worry about money. Something good's gonna happen. I could feel it. You'll be a father in three months. Maybe that's what you're feeling. Why can't you get a job until I can help out again? Don't you think I'm trying? I'm not exactly sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. No. You're standing on your head waiting for the phone to ring. I'm asking you to forget asking until the baby's born. Go out and get a job. Any job. I will not be made to feel guilty. You will not shame me into menial employment. Now, it may seem strange for most of us to hear a man discuss some of his most intimate problems while standing on his head. In this case, you will soon learn that a man who engages in argument while standing on his head may quite easily become unbalanced. An upside down mind thinks of odd solutions, deadly, dangerous solutions. And that's just the beginning of our story. A new adventure in radio listening. Five nights of exceptional entertainment every week. Brought to you in Elliott Lewis' production of The Sears Radio Theater. Our story, improvisation by Shepard Menken. Our stars, Shepard Menken, William Shalert, Janet Waldo, and Mary Jane Croft. The Sears Radio Theater is brought to you by Sears Robot and Company. Sears, where America shops for value. Man is expressing feelings, observing people, creating high moments in strange circumstances in lives that spring quite often from his own imagination. This is the skill of actor Tom Miller, a man using his body and mind in carefree searching each day, practicing the art of unique beliefs. A man who services, for the present at least, nobody wants. I don't know what to do, Bill. I never figured she'd ask me to get a job just because she's going to have a baby. Sounds like she's become totally irrational. But I warned you when you asked me to be the best man at your wedding. Don't tell me. I don't want to hear anything you have. Look, Tom, we're both actors. We're both sitting around an empty rehearsal hall. We're both unemployed and we both know about women outside of show business. If I give up now even for a little while, do you know what I'd lose? Your psychic freedom, your art, your self-respect. Three years of trying. When the agent calls, I won't be home. If the phone rings, I can't answer it and I won't be able to call back. What do people think? An actor who doesn't pick up a ringing phone has got to be dead. Bill, what am I going to do with Ann? To kill her. Oh, that's no good. I'd miss her. Probably not a good idea, then. If you got caught, they wouldn't give you a phone in jail either. If I can't get a phone, I ain't going to jail. Hey, maybe we can find answers in an improvisation. I'll be the warden. I don't see that you have much choice, Tom. I can't give you a phone and a leave of absence. Well, that's out of the question. You're honest, warden. If you let me out just this once, I might get the part and be a big star. I'm sorry, son, but you killed your wife an unborn child. You got to pay the price. No more auditions. Oh, you don't know what you're saying, warden. My agent will drop me. I'll lose my screen actor's guild card. Other actors won't accept me. You should have thought of that when you brutally murdered that poor girl. What do you mean brutally murdered? She hardly felt the thing. That's irrelevant, son. I injected her with truth serum. I don't want to hear the details. But it wasn't the truth serum that killed her. Please, son, spare yourself this act. No, no. She had to tell the truth. That's what killed her. It was the truth that killed her. How horrible. Did you know her mother was a tuna fisherman? A tuna fisherman? What am I going to do? You could leave her. What couldn't she do to you? Leave her. Don't be ridiculous. Things are bad enough between us. I've got it. Move to England. Anybody in England loves actors, and they get a heck of a welfare system. Let's go back to murder. What if I murder you? No sense of humor. Okay. What do we got here? You will only be an actor, and you need big money right away. You tried legitimate ways, but not you should excuse me illegitimate. What the hell are you talking about? I got an idea. About three months ago, you said you couldn't make payments on a life insurance policy you had. What if you borrowed the money and got yourself reinstated? Now, where am I going to borrow money? Never mind that now. Remember that little shtick you did really scared the pants off me a couple of days ago. That was no shtick. I do these things. Well, what would happen, let's say, if something happened to you and you found yourself auditioning for St. Peter? Well, Anne would collect $120,000. Yeah, that's pretty good. As a matter of fact, it's very good indeed. I think maybe, as soon as we can make all the arrangements, you're gonna die. I am. Come on in. Just watch the test tubes there. You okay? Yeah. Had another round with Tom again this morning. You gonna see him today? Yeah, I'm meeting him at the studio in about an hour. How do you do it, Maggie? Oh, I what? How can you act and still do your work in the lab? You do commercials, you make auditions. I saw you on the Charlie Edwards show last week. Why couldn't Tom find something to do on this side? Because, my dear, your Tom has a one-track brain. A career in the theater isn't just an ego trip with him. And I really think it is with me. Anyway, how can a person speak for anybody but himself? I was a science major in school. So, being a lab technician just came naturally. Not only that, I have Dr. Richards on my side. He lets me get away with murder. I can leave here anytime I want just as long as I get all the tests finished for tomorrow. Been a registered nurse for three years. That's what I started that to be, you know. So, how can you make comparisons between Tom and me? Whatever made you want to become an actress? Oh, I don't know. There's something crazy in all of us, I guess. You know, I never told this to another living soul, but my existence is so dull, sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy with boredom. I do anything to put a little excitement in my life. Then all the boys kept telling me how gorgeous I am. Must have gone to my head. Anyway, I saw the rest of my life as a companion to some old man in a wheelchair, and I simply made up my mind to try to wiggle free. There must be something Tom can do besides act. Oh, I'm sure there is. But, even working part-time, no employer is willing to let you get up and walk away whenever your first love calls. I don't know what to do, Maggie. We're so in debt. I'm afraid we're going to lose our apartment and we don't have a place to live when the baby's born. Oh, that's not going to happen, Anne. I've known Tom longer than you, and I know he will not let that happen. I keep thinking and thinking of how we can get some money. Anything. I swear, if I thought I could get away with robbing a bank, I'd do it. You might just get away with it. Who'd believe a woman with child in her six months would pull a heist. I thought I'd take that cloth shopping bag I have. You know the one that says, save a tree on it, walk up to the teller's cage and tell him to fill it with tens and fifties. What's the matter with hundreds? I had no experience with $100 bills. I'd look guilty and someone would call a cop. You're wacky, you know that. Then, all I'd have to do is walk slowly and quietly out of the bank, get on a bus, and go home. It's one of the best deals I ever heard. I don't know how you can lose. You like it, huh? Like it. I'll finance it. How much is bus fare? Don't be so free with your money. If I get caught, you'll lose your investment. Oh, listen. Come on. Things are going to work out. I promise you. Maybe something good will happen with Tom. I kind of doubt it after all this time, but as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing I won't do. Guys, am I interrupting? Come on in, Maggie. What's going on? We're planning an improvisation in survival. Any parts for women? We were just talking about you. It looks like you're the perfect type. Well, I'm a survivor. What's the plot? We're going to stage a funeral. Sounds good. What do I play? The grieving widow? You play yourself. Great. Maybe I'll find out who I really am. Tom is going to be the corpse. Typecasting? I don't think that's very funny. Okay, Tom. Do it. I was just kidding about the typecasting. You'll be sorry when he's dead. Now, just watch. He's doing it. Listen, I only got a couple of hours. I didn't come up here to watch Tom do his yoga exercise. Will you be still for a minute? Okay. Take his pulse. What? I said take his pulse. When? I can't find it. Keep trying. He can't find his pulse. He has no pulse. Put your hand on his forehead. It's cold. Hey, come on now. What's going on here? Nobody can do that. Why are you looking at it? I don't believe this. He's dead. I don't know how he's doing it, but this man's dead. Bill and Maggie stand frozen watching Tom as he lies motionless on an old day bed in a corner of the almost bare rehearsal hall. What they are witnessing far surpasses anything that might be labeled mere talent. Through concentration and absolute muscular relaxation, Tom has caused himself to appear lifeless. The two stare in astonishment. A small sideward twitch of the mouth breaks the statues stillness of Tom's frozen face. An eyelid flickers. A moving finger brings attention to his knee as if attached by strings. Both eyes open at once and stare vacantly at the ceiling. Oh! He's all right. He's going to be all right. It's incredible. I've never seen anything like it. I know. Two times he's getting to be. Two-thirty. You were out about ten minutes. Very refreshing. Refreshing? You were dead. Well, that's not a very nice thing to say about a person. Maggie, I want an absolutely honest answer. You're a trained nurse. You felt and listened for his heartbeat. You saw his color. Would you have sworn Tom was dead? Oh, he was gone. I had no doubts. Look at me. I'm still shaking. Okay. I want you to listen to me carefully because I've never been more serious in my life. We have an opportunity. Right now we'll never see again. How would you like to do a little scene in real life and improvisation and take a one-third cut of $120,000? $40,000 for each of us for just a few hours' work. Seems like a fair wage. How about residuals? Look, Tom almost let a life insurance policy lapse three months ago because he couldn't make the payments. We scraped together the money, so it's still in effect. He's worth $120,000 big bucks. Dead. My goodness, what wonderful things I see happening. You're smiling. Well, yes. Always loved money. Washington, Jefferson, Hamilton, they look so great and green. The only thing is I don't know how long I can keep myself looking like a corp. You'll have plenty of time to practice, but there's some obvious problems we're going to have to solve. Yeah. Like me getting embalmed. Uh-oh. I'll take care of it, I tell you. I'm going to touch you. All you got to do is stay in your trance until we come and get you. What about Anne? How's she going to find out? Why don't you let me talk to Anne? I think you'll probably be able to handle this better than any of us. Now, wait. Will you wait just a darn minute? What? I just thought of something. What? What if somebody makes a mistake and they decide to cremate me? That can't happen. Besides, there'll be enough time. The way I've got it figured we can do the whole stunt in less than eight hours. You sure? Absolutely. You can bet your life on it. What a surprise. What are you doing here this time of day? Come on in. How do you feel? I feel fine. Don't tell me you came over just to ask me how I feel. What's up? I haven't been so excited about anything since I got caught in the turnstile with Robert Redford. Oh, tell me, tell me. Well, you know Bill. Yeah. He's got an imagination like Edgar Allan Poe. What started it off was that your Tom and Bill were doing an improvisation. They played a situation where Bill was a doctor who had to tell Tom who was the patient. He had a terminal disease. Bill has to tell Tom he's going to die. Right. So they go through the scene. And finally, after a lot of philosophy about how we all have to go some time and so on, Bill blurts out, you haven't got long, Tom. Yeah. According to Bill, Tom turned white, looked funny for a second, took a couple of deep breaths and said, holding his heart, don't feel very well, doctor. Bill said, just lie down in bed for a moment, Mr. Miller. Can I get you some water? Tom didn't answer and closed his eyes. Well, to make a long story short, your crazy husband has been practicing his yoga exercises so long he can actually look as though he's dead. So what else is new? You mean you know he can do things like that? Every time we have an argument, every time he doesn't get the part, whenever anything happens that isn't the greatest, he just goes into his yoga thing and disappears from the world. Well, my dear, Bill has come up with a little true-to-life play wherein Tom pays the premium on his life insurance policy, drops dead shortly thereafter and is buried very quickly so his poor pregnant wife won't have to undergo unnecessary grief. You're crazy. You're all crazy. First of all, what if you get caught? You'll all go to jail. And second, how do I get visiting rights to a guy who's six feet under? I can't even think of a begonia. We're gonna get a dummy from the studio prop department and substitute it for Tom. I can't believe you guys, but do you think you can actually get away with this? Well, it's worth a try, isn't it? $120,000? We could sure use the money. Of course you can. That's why Bill came up with the plan in first place. I can get a death certificate and sign Dr. Richard's name. I do it all the time. As a matter of fact, I do all the purchasing at the lab and he expects me to sign the checks. You're awful, Maggie. You really are. Come on, play with us, Annie. It'll be so much fun. Well, I don't know. Anything to go wrong any more than you do? I'm not convinced. It's me that's gonna get buried. Hi. What, I? It's I who I'm going to get buried. What the hell's the difference? How can you correct my grammar at a time like this? There's always time for good grammar, Tom. I suspect your problem is that you have a fear of depths. How do you know I won't suffocate in that box? They don't put you in a box. Well, how do you know? My Uncle Max was a mortician. I'm scared. Okay. I'll tell you what we can do. Let's go to where there are two phones with the same number and you listen in while I call a mortuary somewhere and let's say Palm Springs. Why Palm Springs? Because it's closer than Miami Beach and almost as many people die there. Anyway, let's play it safe and not ask any stupid questions locally. Morticians talk, you know. What are you gonna ask? I'm gonna relieve your mind so you won't be nervous and can die in peace. I don't think it's fair. That's all. But the idea is Bill, that's worth almost everything. That's not the point. All right. I might just as well come right out with it. I know all about you and Bill. What about Bill and me? I know you've been dating, at least. And what does that mean, at least? It means that if you two decide to get legal, you come out with 80,000 and Tom, who's taking all the risk, only gets 40. Now wait a minute. I resent your implication that Bill and I are lovers. I don't care if you resent what I said. The fact is that at the end of your rainbow there are two pots of gold. And another thing, whose insurance policy is it anyway? Yeah. Okay. All right. I see your point. I'll talk to the boys about it. I can't believe she'd be that way. Well, she's got a point. After all, it is my insurance policy. She won't go along with it, so much we change the percentages. And my tendency is to agree. She's not a professional, but she is taking part in this, and she ought to get paid. All right. All right. We'll all have equal shares. But let me get everybody's word on this. Nobody does anything stupid like go out and blow their whole share at once. Oh, what do you take us for? It could happen. To begin with, if we split 120,000, we each get 30,000, which isn't a heck of a lot of money in today's market. What market do you go to? Well, it isn't. I mean, well, you're not exactly going to retire on 30 grand. No, but Anne can have her baby in a private room. Right. And that's fine, but don't go blowing the rest of it on a new Mercedes. Oh, come on, Bill. Give us credit for a little more intelligence than that. Take the money, put it in the bank, and forget you've got it. What a life. I got a wild idea. Tell, tell. If this caper works out for us, we could all go up to Canada and do the same bit all over again. Think of it. We could play the provinces. Yeah, you could be dead all over the world. Hey, it's ringing. You can pick up the other phone now. Can you hear okay? Yeah, fine, fine. Put your hand over it. I can hear you breathing. Price Mortuary? Hello. Is this Price Mortuary? Yes, it is. To whom am I speaking? My name is Dobbs, sir. Alvin Dobbs. Fine. Mr. Dobbs, my name is Fleming Bradford Fleming. I'm a writer. Great name. And I'm doing research on a book. I wonder if you could help me for a moment. Oh, yes. Good, good. I know it's not usual, but could a person request that you do not embalm a loved one, providing, of course, the loved one was deceased? What you're asking is if we can conduct our services without embalm. And what happens if the corpse wakes up and tries to run away? No embalming, right? Yes, that's possible. What do you mean, it's possible? Well, after 36 hours the law requires that we embalm the remains. But if a man dies and is buried the next day, you don't have to touch him, right? If the family requests that, yes. We request it. Honestly, we request it. No, if it's requested, can the body be placed in a coffin immediately? No, I believe you'll find most mortuaries will place the loved one in a waiting room. What if nobody likes the loved one? Will you shut up? In a case of imminent burial, he will be placed in a casket just prior to interment. Well, thank you very much, Mr. Dobbs. You've been most helpful. How it was my pleasure, I assure you. Thanks again, Mr. Dobbs. Bye-bye. Hang up, will ya? Well, that answer all your questions? No. What now? What? It just occurred to me that if I go through with this cockamamie scheme of yours, if I die, get buried, collect insurance, how is Tom Miller, namely me, gonna materialize two days later looking for a job as an actor? Will you tell me that? You never thought of that, did you? The money just isn't worth it, Bill. I'll find another way out of the mess. I mean, as far as playing dead, well, you can just forget it. I'm out. Well, well, honestly... Um, folks, folks, folks. Perhaps you've wondered why I've asked you all here. Well, it seems our friend Tom has a problem. And after great deliberation on my part, I have come to the conclusion that he is indeed faced with a dilemma. Cut the bologna, Bill. I'm a little edgy myself now. How is Tom suddenly gonna come to life and not be noticed? Now, if all of us overlooked such an obvious mistake, what else are we missing? Let's be solution-oriented there. Tom and Anne will move to New York. What? I like it. You can get experience in New York and you won't be starving while you're doing it. You'll change your name. Bradford Fleming. Yeah, that's a great name. In two or three years, you'll be a star on Broadway. New York will put lines in your face. You never thought we're there. You'll have character. You'll no longer be a locks. And you can return to Hollywood and name your own price in films. Well, I'll bet I could do it. And best of all, no one will know who you are. Tom, you're only a shadow of your future self. Oh, I know it. I feel it. It's settled, then. Maggie, my love, will you rip off a death certificate from Dr. Richards, your trusting employer, and sign it with a reasonable facsimile of his name? I will shortly thereafter assume the identity of dear Dr. Richards, bearing legal document and corpse to the mortuary of our choice. Children? I do believe we have begun our charade, including act of improvisation. Oh, folks, Maggie. It's getting very slow and weak. I can hardly feel it. Okay, I'll make the call. This is Dr. Hamilton Richards. I'm at 9463 Carrington Avenue. It's a rehearsal hall, Room 2. Patients suffered a massive coronary occlusion. I wonder if you could make a pickup here as soon as possible. Of course, Doctor. I have the address. It's 9463 Carrington. Room 2. Yes, I have that. We'll send someone over right away. Now, I'll bring the death certificate over this afternoon myself. A man was a close personal friend of mine. Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor. Yeah. I'd like to make the final arrangements at that time if I may. Incidentally, to whom am I speaking? This is Oliver Witherall. Oh, yeah, Mr. Witherall. I'd like to assure myself one thing. Yes? There are extenuating circumstances here. The deceased was a close friend, as I said, and it was his wish that I assume the position of executor of a very meager estate. I understand. Yeah, my friend's widow hadn't learned of this yet, and I'd like to keep it from her until the very last moment. She's carrying the child of the deceased, and the pregnancy's been a very difficult one. I quite understand. Well, I'd like in term it to take place as soon as possible. I think it'd be best for everyone. Why would you like to schedule the services, Doctor Richards? Well, would it be possible to make all your arrangements for 9 o'clock tomorrow morning? See, I'll take care of the casket and the finances later this afternoon. Certainly, Doctor. I'll see you later, Lamb. I'll get two of my men over there right away. All right, fine. Goodbye, sir. Oh, Mr. Witherall, just one more thing. Yes? I almost forgot. No embalming. Absolutely no embalming or chemicals of any kind. I'm glad you mentioned that, Doctor. We generally do embalm the remains. But since burial will be taking place first thing tomorrow, and since your request is not to, well, of course we will. Thank you, guys. Let me write that down so I won't forget. Do not embalm the remains, okay? All right, now look. I thought it would be good if the three of us met at this bar. We can't do anything until it gets dark, but I figured since we're right across the street from the mortuary, you'd feel better. Thanks, Bill. We all like to be close to our loved ones. Bill, will you stop that? Oh, may I bring you something? Yeah, I'd like a vodka and tonic, please. Make mine, Scotch. Straight up. Me, too. Make that, too. Thank you. Right. Is the dummy okay? We had to put sand in the arms and feet to make it way enough. The tools are in my trunk. That's all we need. I brought a sweater for Tom. He might be cold when he wakes up. That's sweet, Anne. I hear he drinks, you know, 650? Here you are. Keep change. Oh, thank you. Okay. Now, in just one hour and five minutes, we'll break in the side door. There's no burglar alarm or anything. Who'd want to rip off a mortuary? Unless you're a formaldehyde freak, you people are sick. Once inside, we find the right coffin, wake up Tom, substitute the dummy, and we're whole free. When do I call the insurance company? All taken care of. Dr. Richards called and told him to expedite the claim since he was a personal friend of the family and the poor pregnant widow was without help or funds of any kind. What did he say? What could he say? My performance was flawless. Oh, my lord. He said he'd get things moving as quickly as possible. So funny. I wonder if Tom is going to want to go to his own funeral. I'm sure he had this job beautifully planned. How was I to know? They put a security lock on the door. What time is it? It's almost midnight. What would happen if we just broke one of the little glasses on the back window? Then you could put your hand in and unlock it. Good idea. Let's try it. Maggie, you go around back to where we parked the car. When I give you the signal, blow the horn for about two seconds. It'll cover the noise of the window breaking so no one will hear it. Got you. Okay. Right there. Give me the hammer, Anne. Here. Now, don't forget the dummy. How am I supposed to get through there? My stomach's bigger than the opening. Come on. Hey, I'll give you a boost. I think I'm stuck. Well, just whirl with it. Oh, okay. I'm in. All right. Now I'll boost you up, Maggie, and then I'll pass up the dummy. Okay. Give me the dummy, dummy. You've spoken to me with great endearment lately. Why don't you marry me and give me a chance to fight back? Is this a proposal? What better time? Oh, the arm broke on the dummy. We're beginning to leak sand. Try not to let that happen. I feel like I'm baking a cake and still in the sugar. Let me get this flashlight working here. I may faint. Coffins. Nothing but coffins. Here's a pretty one, satin frills. They're all open. I wonder where they keep the stiffs. I mean, Tom. Tom? No good, Anne. If he's still in a trance, he won't hear you. What are you people doing in here? Nothing, sir. Dr. Ritchard. Yeah, you see, Mrs. Miller here learned about the death of her husband after you locked up for the night. Yeah? When she heard about the morning arrangements for burial, she insisted on seeing the body tonight. What's that thing you're carrying? Well, actually, it's a dummy. See, he's leaking sand. His arm broke open. Nasty cut there. You're a liar. No, no, actually, there's a dummy. See, wait a minute. Who are you, anyway? I'm an investigator for the Borderline Insurance Company. That's who I am. This is Mr. Shackley, Dr. Ritchard. Dr. Ritchard? Dr. Indeed. Is this the man who signed the death certificate? Yes, it is. I want to see the body. Where is the body? We always chill. The remains before internment. He's in the refrigerator, of course. In the refrigerator? Quick, somebody get some water or something. Mrs. Miller's fainted. I've got another blanket. I'm freezing. You're lucky you're still alive, young man. You're all under arrest. Wait, on what grounds, sir, if I may ask, do you make this arrest? On the grounds that you falsely made a claim on our company for $120,000 for the life of one Tom Miller. I'm innocent. I could have made it the insurance claim because I was dead. There, you see, there you go again. Well, now if the man says he was dead, he was dead. He ought to know. I feel terrible. Excellent. This court now recognizes the corpus delicti. And there we have the heart of the matter, Your Honor. There is nobody. This man never had much of a body, but what there is is alive. Why was that that? So do I. Your ex-admin is overruled. My dear sir, do you have anything in writing that said the claim was made against your company for the sum in question? I don't need anything in writing. You falsified the name of a Dr. Richards on a death certificate, which you must have gotten by illegal means. Hey, where's that hammer we broke in with? Here it is, Your Honor. You are in contempt, sir. How dare you accuse the judge of forgery? I think you people are insane. Silence has a doctor in judge. I think I know more about insanity than you. Your Honor, this dummy is falling apart. There's sand all over the floor. Well, that's all right, Counselor. We'll get it all cleaned up. Thank you, Bailiff. It's wonderful how you people can just act at a moment's notice. Yeah. I thought I might be an actor once. Well, there's so much to do. Life is so short, isn't it? That trick of yours, young man. Amazing. We nearly buried you. No person living or dead would ever have been buried, Your Honor. It was the defendant's wish that a lovely ceremony be conducted over this dummy here. I don't see it, dummy, Counselor. What you're holding there appears to be an old rag. And that's another thing, Your Honor. There isn't even a dummy delective. This is madness. With all of you don't mind, I would like that death certificate. May I approach the bench, Your Honor? Certainly, Counselor. Mr. Witherall, you almost buried a living man. That would be terrible publicity for Witherall Down's mortuary. Yeah, it would indeed. See, the thing people fear most is being buried alive. You should have known Tom over there wasn't dead. I don't know. You said he was dead. Yeah, but I'm not a doctor. I have trouble separating black beetles from raisins. What's going on over there? What's all that talking? I want that death certificate, Mr. Witherall. Well, actually, it'll be in all the papers, Mr. Witherall. I don't believe there was a death certificate, Mr. Shakeley. I think you're mistaken about this whole affair. I see what you people are trying to do. Well, you'll never get away with it. Yeah, you're out of order there, Shakeley. Your Honor, the plaintiff has no documents, nothing in writing, no corpus delecti, no nothing. It's his word against ours. I mean the defendant. That's right, Shakeley. Sounds like you're trying to cover up in an open shut case. I see your point, young woman. Yeah, and yours too, Your Honor. Just call me, Bill. Now you've got me doing it. What am I doing here? I must be going crazy like the rest of you. Just let me get out of here. Hey, Baylor, would you open the door for the plaintiff? Oh, yes, Your Honor. I thought he'd never leave. Hey, counselor. Yes, Your Honor. Well, I'm a judge. You want me to get married? Sure, but I've got to change my overalls. See, Mr. Witherall, the whole thing happened because Tom here couldn't get a part-time job that would allow him to be an actor too. Well, I have an idea if you have no objection. I've always found myself an actor in the drama of life that is. So I feel sympathetic with your cause. Um, what's your point, Mr. Witherall? Well, Mr. Miller here has no objection. We always have an opening, so to speak, as a hearth driver. Fantastic! I hope you're not allergic to flowers. No, only to refrigerators. You could drive whenever the need arises. And if occasionally you were absent, I could arrange for someone else to fill in, so to speak. Dynamite. You mean we're not going to New York? You wouldn't have liked New York anyway. Tom can make more money here driving a hearse. And I'd miss you, Anne. You're the only one of us who isn't insane. Besides Bill and I'll probably get married and I won't have anyone to talk to. Be of good cheer, my friends. It was an exercise well-executed, so to speak, which we will never again repeat. Everyone performed his part well. So, let us all bow our heads in gratitude to our dear departed dummy who poured his life's sand on the family room floor so that it may serve as a reminder to others of what we have here in New York. Let us pray that the power has been brought to you by Sears Robot and Company, where our policy is satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Sears, where America shops for value. Improvisation was written by Shepard Minkin, produced and directed by Fletcher Marco. Your host was Vincent Price. Our stars were Shepard Minkin, William Shalert, Janet Waldo, and Mary Jane Cross. Also heard were Dawes Butler, Carly Bear, and Don Diamond. The music for Sears Radio Theater was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle, Art Gilmore speaking. The Elliott Lewis production of Sears Radio Theater is a presentation of CBI.