 special pulls out we reach for our favorite newspaper and turn to our favorite page the March of Events and City Life section. This section is a feature of the Hearst newspapers everywhere and is written by the ace humorists of the day. Will Rogers, O. O. McIntyre, Milk Gross, Arthur Bugsbear, Sam Hellman and many others. There are also plenty of peppy cartoons drawn by leading artists. A grand slam of scents and nonsense. Oh hell here's a snappy looking cartoon. It's a scene backstage at a musical review. The producer and the stage manager are standing in the wings talking. One act has gone off and another is due to come on. The orchestra is playing the cue music. What is the hold up? There's that Spanish dancer. She should be on now. She's coming. I just sent Joe for her. She's back there eating chili con carne. She's all the time eating chili con carne. Such a business. I got customers out there waiting for Spanish dances and she's always eating chili con carne. Here she comes. Hurry up Senorita Tamale. You're on. Yes, Senorita. I go. You go and don't forget to go big. At rehearsal today she was rotten. No pep, no snap, no nothing. What's a Spanish dancing without pep and a slap? You'll have plenty of pep tonight. Look at her now. Say, say that's good. That's well. Look at the way she's jumping around and hopping. Got plenty of pep now, hasn't she? Pep is right. What is that dancing that she's doing? Looks more like a jumping jet. She's jumping six feet in the air all day. Hot stuff, eh? Hey, look how she's jumping. How do you like that? I can't think she's jumping safe. What is it? Is she going not so goofy? She's all right. I just tried a little experiment. Experiment? What kind of an experiment are you trying, huh? I just put a few jumping beans in a chili con carne. The reporter has been detailed to locate Toots and give him the once over. At last Toots is located, living in a cave high up in the Sierras and is now being interviewed. I'd like to interview you. Yes, his manager would like to arrange a match with you if you would be interested. One air someday. I'm sure the town would be glad to pay your traveling expenses. Goodness. Well, maybe you could let us know just when you're coming. Oh, that's easy. Just get one of them. Will you see it swinging around? Yeah, yes, sir. I'll make a note of that. Yeah, have a seat. I'll pull up. My goodness. Thank you. Oh, what was that? Gracious sakes. Why don't you chase them away? Oh, I see. You mean you're afraid of grizzly bears? Oh, me? Oh, I only thought. Well, the team has not dimmed Will's interest in his first love. Horses and wide open spaces. A short time ago, he deserted the Hollywood movie lots for a trip to a Texas ranch. Early on the first morning of his stay there, he was given a saddle horse and, in company with another guest, went for a ride. Shortly after the departure, Will's host and hostess fell to discussing him on the porch of the ranch. Bossman. But it's been yours since he rode the range. Funny how he keeps in practice. Well, he's got his polar. Will's one of the best polar players in Hollywood. I wonder how he finds time to do all the things he does. I don't know, but there's one thing sure. Horses wouldn't be the last thing he'd give up there. Just part of him. Well, what horses are you riding now? I give him that new Kentucky thoroughbred. The one you just bought? Yeah, I wanted to get Will's expert opinion on it. I paid 75,000 for it, and I want to see if he thinks I got stung. Somebody's a common, I tell you. It looks like Will and Tom. They didn't ride very fur. Hey, look at the way Will's riding. Looks as almost as if he's a fallen off. Oh, that couldn't be. The horses don't live it. It would unseat Will. Well, he's got both arms of rats tied around its neck. Well, I won't embarrass Will. I'll call Tom here and ask him about it. Hey, hey, Tom. Anything wrong with Will? Nothing wrong except just something you should have told him before he started out. Well, what was that? Did the horses give him trouble? No, sir. She behaved like a perfect lady. Well, what did happen? Well, everything was going all right up until I told Will about the 75,000 you paid for her. Yeah, well, what happened then? Well, from then on, he got to thinking about the price and had to hold on with both hands. For the Hearst Sunday newspapers, everyone likes to know McIntyre's opinions and also to hear some of the interesting facts about well-known persons, which he so often revealed. Now, Billy Murray follows Odd McIntyre closely and will ask Billy to give us the latest from McIntyre. Well, since this is a radio program, you might like to hear what Odd McIntyre thinks about radio techniques. He recently said that he didn't believe fireworks stuff goes over well on the air. In his opinion, the artists who endure are the soft-spoken, sometimes faltering ones, like our old friend Will Rogers, people who have a real story to tell. He thinks that Irvin Cobb with his hearty dialogue stories is one of the biggest bets, and he believes that children have an unfailing radio instinct. If they like a program, so do grown-ups. In telling strange facts about people, McIntyre writes that Bruce Barton always dictates his material, or so does Arthur Brisbane, that Gracie Allen really has a brother George, that Jeanette McDonald has a collection of English sheepdogs, and Mussolini, believe it or not, likes Mickey Mouse films. Jay Pierpont Morgan likes his afternoon tea. And do you know that Pola Negri has never ridden in a subway? Then Odd McIntyre muses along with this humorous question. He says, speaking of curiosities, there are times that I am twinsed by a strange desire to know certain answers. For instance, I've been wondering who makes Kate Smith's clothes, and I don't want any Omar the tentmaker replies either. As his devoted followers all know, is always taking the advice of his employer, Mr. Thongdyke. At the present moment, Joe has been advised to give his waistline a little attention, and now as we find our hero in a restaurant ordering a meal with unusual care. Let's say now, what would you suggest? Well, how about a nice addition spaghetti, eh? I'm afraid not. Spaghetti contains too much starch. Well, how about a nice beef pie with the dumplings and the mashed potatoes? That's all right, except for the dumplings and the mashed potatoes, they're too fattening. Eh, maybe you'll like a little nice kidney stew with the brown gravy and the noodles, eh? Oh, no, that's for sure. I have to eat something light. What's that special you've got up there on the board? I can't read it from here. Oh, that's very good, that's very nice. A hamburger steak with onions, a french fried potatoes and a corn fritters. Oh, that's too bad. What's it too bad? That's good, mister, that's very good. I know it's good, but it's bad for me. Well, why is she bad for you? Well, you see, I have to watch my waistline. You're wrong, mister. You don't have to watch your waistline in this restaurant. Why don't I? All you're watching in this place is the heart of the court. Once more, the club car special program has come to a pause, but every listener may go further on this excursion of fun and merriment. By securing a copy of the Hearst Sunday newspaper, and reading the March of Events and City Live section, it is in this part of the newspaper that you will find long articles with laughs from beginning to end. Each article written by one of the world's leading humorists, Will Rogers, O. O. McIntyre, Bugs Bear, Milt Gross, Sam Hellman and others. No other newspaper or publication has such a list of authors who have reached unparalleled fame in the world of comedy. Keep up with the best humor of the day by reading these columns of comedy just as millions of others do. The club car special will make another excursion into your home next week at the same time over the same station. Be sure to meet the train and enjoy another 15 minutes of original comedy.