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Let's start the motherfucking show. Hezzie. Yes, sir. Hezekiah Walker. Yes, sir. Hezekiah Walker, Andrew Schultz. This week announced that today is Tuesday, we're recording this on a Tuesday, by the way. He announced on Monday that he was doing Madison Square Garden. Very heartwarming video with you and your father. Yeah, that was cool. The living legend, Larry legend. He gave you the fist bump like, ooh, he bought a good one home, you know what I'm saying? You bring your fine-at, you bring your fine-at fiance home. Your dad is like, okay. You know what I'm saying? He hit him with that fist bump, man. Tickets went on sale the day at 12 noon. It is 1.18. No, tickets went on sale at noon, right? They went on sale at 9 in the morning. 9 in the morning. By what time were you called? A little before 11. A little before 11 AM, Schultz was called and they said the garden is sold the fuck out. Madison Square fucking garden is sold the fuck out. Okay? Not the garden. Okay. All right? Okay. I know this is about everybody who's done the theater. The theater is big too, but not the theater at the garden. The garden. The whole garden. Yeah. Jay-Z said, you gotta pardon Jay for selling out the garden in a day. The Hezzie sold it out in 90 minutes. Mm-hmm. The Hezzie sold it out in 90 minutes. Are we not making this up? We're not making this up. Are we making this up? Charlotte, man. This is not one of those times where I'm lying and you should believe me. Charlotte, man, the greatest compliment Charlotte gave me was do you realize that you are gonna be on the floor at the garden. Of a sold out Madison Square garden and you're not even coaching 12 black dudes. You're not even coaching 12 Negroes, man. This is you going one on one. The accomplishment of a white man. Man. Listen, listen. I don't know how you feel. That is funny. But we're supposed to find out. But we're supposed to find out in order to be here. Yes. Think about it. Pat Riley. Yo. You know what I'm saying? Pat Riley couldn't sell out the freaking garden without 12 seven foot Negroes. Okay? We're gonna shit. I gotta pour it, tell him. Yeah, but I know. It's your glass. You don't got no glass, Alex? I took a sip. Come on, man. This is big, man. This is big. Nah, this is crazy, man. This is big. This is crazy. Taylor, you drinking? Oh, shit. Cheers, man. Cheers, man. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Pull Chris up with his limes. Chris, you can't drink? I don't have a little something. Cheers. Yeah, man, this is big. Let me cheers this one. Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. Madison Square garden. Yeah, man. For a guy who grew up in Manhattan. They can adjust that cam right there. For a guy who grew up in Manhattan. New York City kid. Everything. Going by that theater all the time. I remember one of the first things you ever told me. Arena. When I met you. The arena. One of the first things you ever told me when I met you, I remember you saying, I think we was at a fight or something. And you was like, your dad always told you to show respect to the garden. Oh, yeah. Put on a college shirt. Always, yeah. I had to wear a college shirt every time I went to the garden. And now you sold out that venue that means so much. Damn right. How do you feel? I mean, I feel unbelievable. It's shocking. Why? It's putting in the work. It's not about like, oh my God, I'm so surprised. It's more like, I've thought about something for 16 years every single day. And then to see it actually happen is surreal. Does it scare you? Because now you know the law of attraction is real. You know that your thoughts can really become things. Manifestation is real. Those things I've always believed. I do always believe. It doesn't mean it's gonna happen right away. But obviously like this, it takes time. But I fucking believed it could happen. I remember every time I would go into the garden, we're seeing a concert or anytime I could, especially in concerts, you can go to the center. You know, and you can, I would just go in there, I'd sit down, I'd just kind of like imagine what this was gonna be like. And fuck man, it is an awesome feeling. The reason I tell y'all, y'all gotta stop comparing yourself to Andrew Shopes is because Andrew's name is like synonymous with so many things right now. It's a blueprint for a lot of different things. But until you have a fan base, that shows up and supports you with their dollars, the way Andrew does, don't talk to me about your views. Don't talk to me about going viral. If you don't have a true fan base that shows up to support you with their dollars, then to me, you don't really have the value that you think you have. Value over viral. You have a fan base. I gotta thank you for that, man. You have a fan base. You shared your fan base with me. That's what gotta start it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, bro. I don't like when people say that only because we started brilliant idiots together. But you brought so much more to brilliant idiots at that time. And you still bring so much more, but. That's not true. But I'm just saying like, I got the opportunity to be in front of people that liked comedy. They appreciated your version of comedy, which I think is kind of similar to mine. So it gave me the opportunity to do that. And there are other people along the way that also were instrumental, but you were the first person that I think introduced me to a fan base. Being on TV is one thing. Maybe people fuck with you, maybe they don't. Maybe they just fuck with the show. How many people are the host of a show and the second they stop hosting it, all of a sudden people stop caring about them? Yeah, asking anybody on Fox News. For real, they're the biggest person in the world. And then I guess Tucker's doing all right, but there's a lot of people that the second they leave is a wrap for them. So that was huge for me, man. I think it's interesting with the podcast game because podcasts might even give you more of a quote like following than even radio. Because sometimes you can get in your car and you might just be forced to listen to radio. You got to go out of your way to listen to a podcast. So you can't... You're opting in. You're opting in. So it's just like, yo, it's one thing, we could do brilliant idiots and it's one thing to be successful for a couple of episodes. We've been doing this for 10 years. You know what I'm saying? That's when I knew the Breakfast Club was something. It's when I saw that it was the YouTube numbers. And I was like, oh, people are opting into this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not flipping through channels because they're in traffic. That's right. They're opting in. And you're meeting people where they are. Exactly. And the same thing with stand-up, even just putting your stuff online. Especially when we started early, when it was just YouTube. It was like, you're opting into this clip. You're opting into this. Nobody was doing that before Andrew Schultz. If they were, I didn't see it. I know Louis CK put out specials online that you had to pay for. I'm talking about giving away clips. You got to think, we come from the era where you didn't give your stand-up away. That was your bread and butter. You know what I'm saying? People didn't want to do specials because they felt like, oh, if I give this hour away, then I can't go on the road and tour it. You know what kind of nuts it takes for you to put out clips? To say, you almost start giving away clips of my stand-up specials. Yeah, that's the thing that like, well, sometimes people say, you know, you started, you know, clips, you started people doing YouTube special and that kind of stuff. And, but what I would say that the fundamental change that happened from that was the relationship with material. And maybe that was my change of the game. It's like, instead of material being a thing you hoarded and then you put out for a special and hope that people saw, and then maybe you were able to go on the road because of it, it became your tool to get people to come out and see you. So now you don't have to hope that you get an HBO special and hope people watch it and hope that you could tour. I literally see myself in other comics putting out the thing that we care the most about, getting the positive reinforcement and building fan bases from it. Did podcasts make you feel like that because you were putting out such high level content every week? Hell yeah, also just like, podcasts get you to cement like who you are. It's hard to lie for two hours. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So just kind of. It's actually fun. It's actually kind of fun to lie for two hours. Who'd be lying for two hours? You've been telling the truth for every all day. It's like, yo, can I go lie for a couple hours for entertainment? You don't think so? You don't think so? I like lying for a couple hours for entertainment, man. Yeah, it was good. It's been fun, man. It's been ten years, man. It's been fun and shit. But I'll tell you something, man. This shit, man, watching you and I told you when you texted me, when you texted me Sunday, I said, we got to sell this shit out in 24 hours. Yeah, that was great. What the fuck we got to do? That's also the coolest thing is like, there's moments where you're gonna do something you're really excited about. And like, when you tell your friends about it and they're like, all right, how are we solving this? You got that right. But you feel it's overwhelming, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think it's so easy, especially in this game, to be like, there are people who they have envy or jealousy, I'm very fortunate. Like the people that I've built with are the people that want to see other people win. Now you say that a lot, but I know it through execution. And it's like, and like, you know, Rogan is like that, literally the best people or what they do are like that. Isn't that funny? Absolutely. And the people who are not like that. There's this thing in the- They reap what they sow. You reap what you sow. There's this thing in Stoicism where it talks about, which I don't know if I necessarily agree with, maybe. But they said, every time you hear something about somebody, there's a technical term for it, but there's like a little bit of envy comes into play. But then they say, you have to turn that envy immediately to joy. Meaning you put yourself in that person's shoes and you're genuinely happy for that person and what that person accomplished. And they said, you should constantly, constantly, constantly practice that because of what you just said, you will reap what you sow. You know what I'm saying? So you should be ecstatic for people. Like that should excite me when I see Andrew put out the video with his pops. I'm like, oh, shit, this is going, first of all, I'm like, this is going to kill him. Oh my God. There's women that probably don't like shows. That's going to be like, oh, he got me. I'm coming to this show. You know what I'm saying? There's something, because you don't see guys, guys don't give it up for their dads like that. You know what I'm saying? Mommy gets a lot of the credit. Like to see what happens when a man pours into another man, which is his son, and just gives him that confidence and like, it's like, yo, that's where Schultz gets his ability to feel like he can accomplish anything. 100%. You know what I'm saying? 100%. Like that shit is different. Like don't blame me if I'm like overly confident. That's not my fault. What do you want your child to be? That's my dad, bro. My dad did that. You know what I mean? And my mom too, like shout out my mom as well, but like, yeah, like I had a very, my mom, I just found this out recently. My mom told me, she's like, after you were born, I went back to work and your dad took off. Wow. Cause he had a job. He was like producing news at NBC. So he took off and he just was with me the first six months of my life. And I wonder if part of that is, you know, like a bonding that we kind of made right there. He was a phenomenal dad through and through, like never took a day off in 40 years of my life. Never took a day off. But I wonder if there's something happens there. Absolutely. That was like first few months. That's how I was motivated, dawg. Really? Yeah, cause he was born in June of 2008. I got fired November 2nd of 2008. My wife was going to work. I was too proud to go collect unemployment. So I was at home with my daughter for like seven months. I didn't get another gig until like May of the next year. So like seven, eight months. So when you see, when you see the confidence that my daughter has and she's a cancer like me and like, she's very not slick at the mouth, but quick with it and like, you know, and she's super well read. So it's just like, this is me. I mean, it's the best version of me and my wife. This is me. But yeah, it's a, even though, you know, she's 15 and the one that didn't do it with me right now, it's still that bond. And what would you do at 15? What was I doing at 15? I'm saying you would be the exact same way. I was shook up my pops. That's why when I see you, that's why when I see you. You just ain't tasing people. That's the difference between you and your dad is that you're not scary. My dad gave me a false sense of confidence. Ooh. You know what I'm saying? Like when I look at you with you, when I look at you and it's funny because both of our dads are named Larry, but when I look at what your dad poured into you, my dad gave me a false sense of confidence, but that's only because he was still figuring things out for himself. Cause you gotta think he was still dealing with self-disabuse issues and trying to get his life together dealing with his own mental health issues. So he was trying to figure things out. You know what I mean? What do you mean a false sense of confidence? Because he had an idea what he thought a man should be. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if your dad, I could be wrong, but it don't seem like your dad told you this is what manhood is. He never told me a thing. He didn't tell me a single thing. I just observed it. And he just, there was a couple that he told me the importance of apologizing. That was one. And I remember that distinctly. Like he's like, it's important to apologize when you do something wrong. It takes a man to apologize when you do something wrong. And I think that's been really helpful in my life. Like it's okay, you're gonna fuck up and you gotta fucking apologize. I say, I'm sorry. You ain't sorry, motherfucker. Your dad would say that. You ain't sorry. You know what I'm saying? You apologized. Ain't shit sorry about you. I kind of agree with your dad. I get what he's saying. Yeah, I do. You do seem like someone who ain't sorry, but we're saying it. He meant like you're not a sorry motherfucker, like how a team is sorry. You know what I'm saying? Like you're a sorry ass player. That's what he meant it by. He meant it like, you're not sorry. You know what I'm saying? Say you apologized. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're nitpicking now. Yeah, exactly. It's like, come on. But I don't know, I just, he was always there. He'd come to every single game. It's so funny, even as an adult, like Jameel, you know Jameel. Jameel hit me, he said something. He goes, did you ever see another parent at one of our basketball games? And I thought back and I was like, oh shit. Play with all black guys? Ah! It's only white guys on the team. What happened here? What happened? What happened? Jameel's black by the way. I mean, y'all didn't know. I mean, it's Jewish Jameel. No, no, and it was just like, yeah, he was just always there. And I think a confidence comes from that. Like your parent just always wanted to be involved. Having your back. Having your back and just being like present and oh, you have a thing, I want to be there. Even to this day, he'll ask every single time I'm going to say, you know, his memory is not there. But like every single time he's like, you going up tonight? And I'm like, yeah, he's like, can we come? Like as a knee jerk reaction. Wow. And I think that that kind of sticks with you and makes you feel like the things you do are important. How many times has he seen you on stage? Oh, plenty, tons. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that is, Radio City was obviously big and then, you know, and then Massive Square Garden will be big, you know. That's the one, you was fighting back tears in that video, bro. That shit was hard, bro. That shit was hard. Because he's right there, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he doesn't know exactly what's going on. Like, you know, my dad was called MCI, so his short-term memory really isn't there. So I couldn't tell him why I brought him there. But at the same time, he's just in the garden. He's like, why are we here? And then he'll keep asking me. He'll never forget the garden though. Never forget the garden. Never forget the garden. Never forget the garden. He'll never forget the garden. He was very present in that video to me. He saw Ali Frazier in the garden. Shit. I mean, he's just seeing so many things there. And like, I mean, the way he would talk about it, especially when you're from New York, like, I know the Knicks haven't been great while we're alive, but the garden was still representative of greatness. You know what I mean? Like, this is just where you saw greatness. And, oh man, I can't even, yeah, still like hard to believe. You gotta bring back that feeling. That's the fucking short show that shit gotta feel like the Knicks in the 90s. Real talk. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, that shit gotta feel like that. Like, it gotta feel like that come made fucking fourth. Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? Cinco de Mayo weekend. That's right. What if it's mad Mexicans that just decided to come out for the show? To clean up after? Or what? We getting started, baby. You gotta get ready. Get primed for fucking Cinco de Mayo weekend. Cinco de Hezzi weekend. Cinco de Hezzi. May the fourth be with you. You gotta come out there dressed like fucking Mayweather was when he fought. Yo. I was gonna take a look. Yo, son. They went as they go, bro. But yo, we added a second show, man. On Cinco de Mayo. No, no, we added the third. Oh. We added respect for our Mexican brothers and sisters. We know that y'all going for it heavy on the fifth. So, make third, we added four. That shit is going to be like, God damn. Cause I've been waiting for this. Cause you know, when you try to explain things to people and you like, y'all don't realize how big Schultz is, you know? Cause they, you know, people pay attention to our overseas. I'm a Latin pop star in America. Exactly. I keep explaining that. And I've been telling father, I said, when he comes to America and he starts selling out arenas, that's when the fuck y'all gonna really pay attention. And look, the garden, 90 minutes sold out. Already added another motherfucking show. Yeah. Come the fuck on, man. Yeah. Come the fuck on, man. Thank you, man. Come on, Hezzi, man. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. That's been awesome. Thank you. And thank you so much, bro. You've just been so instrumental in everything that's happened in my life. So I'd like to give you your flowers as much as I possibly can. You've been great. The world just catching on. Respect. Been fucking great. You've been who you are. Like that's what people don't realize. People are who they are before they got here. You know what I'm saying? Like you've been, you've been him. You know what I'm saying? You've been him. And now people are just starting to witness that. Oh, it's going to be incredible. Oh, thank you. What else we got this week? We need you in the building, bro. What the fuck kind of question is that? I mean, Duvall in the building. Like what are you talking about? We need Brogan coming out, man. We need... First show or second show? Which one we need to be at? You need to be at both, bro. Both. I mean, Charlotte got to play a role in the show, man. Charlotte got to be part of the show in some way. We got to do something. We got to do something, bro. We got it. Yeah, what if you catch the crowd with a... What if you catch them with a... Nah, I'm no good at that shit, man. I don't mind. They go see it from a mile away. God, motherfuckers be catching me. And they get you. And you know what's so funny? I can't always catch people in the street. Like if they're trying to get you quick, like this dude was talking about, you know, if somebody will walk by, you didn't recognize this, you? Yeah. Yo, Charlotte! What's happening? What's up? Yo, man, you know Molten, right? Knock it off, bro. What's Molten? That's fine. No, I didn't ask. And after fucked up shit, because when you hear ones that don't sound right, you want to say, what is that? Just to see how they fucking get you. Somebody caught me with the Israel-Palestine war. No, man. Bro, they said, and with that, you know, you taking it serious. So they were like, yeah, it's just horrible with this new terrorist organization that popped up, Kizma. And I was like, who? And they were like, kiss my dick! I was like, yo, you can't use Israel-Palestine to catch me with a kiss my dick! I thought about one of those, too. Somebody eating some hummus. You love hummus, don't you? Oh, I love it. I love it. You know what I'm saying? What's that for? That shouldn't be funny. No, it's not. What else we got, Taylor? Why you look so depressed all of a sudden, Taylor? I'm thinking, like, what you thinking about? What you thinking about? Oh, you don't want you to do that. I told you, I told you. I'm trying to get my way of the image you have. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Talking to the mic. The mic is right there. You gotta suck. Come on, man. Shala, why you do that? OK, so... Let's play her game. I'll call you the game. What is it called? Meme of the day. Meme of the day. This day in a meme. So I've been seeing that the kids, the celebrity kids, just want to be regular kids. I don't understand this. But go ahead. But recently, Joe... I don't know how to say her name. Chavis, is it? Chavis and Bow Wow's child. She was saying how that she doesn't like to be on camera. She wants to be a regular kid. She want to be acting like that. Beautiful. And then same thing with Kim K's situation, too. She wants to be in a regular apartment. North does. Yeah, North doesn't know what Kim does. Yeah. No one does. Here's the thing. Do these kids even know what regular is? Do these kids know what normal is? No. As what I'm saying, what does it mean when they say they want to be normal? Yeah, who's even telling them that? Even the people they're going to school with, they're not living normal lives. I know it. So, yeah, what does this normal say? What does normal mean? I don't know. Well, here, so this is the way... Also, the arrogance to be like, I want a normal life. This is what Joy said about her child. Who's baby mom is that? This is Bow Wow's baby mom. Okay. Wow. What car is she in? She's driving James in the giant peach. Well, see, I think her situation is different. 13 year old. She's got me 13 and six months. Like, I don't know. She just does not like being recorded. She's just like, mom, stop, mom, mom, mom, stop. Every time I have to like sneak into it, anyone I sneak into it, she gets so mad. She's just like, no, I look crazy. Like, no, I look crazy. My hair needs to be done. And then when her hair is done, she's like, mom, stop. I'm like, what's the problem? She's like, I just don't want to be recorded. Like, I don't want to do that. And I don't want to ask you that. You know the funny part about this, though? Like, she is not wrong for feeling the way she feels because she's a mom. But I think what we don't realize is that a lot of times the things we may want our kids to do, our kids may simply not want to do. But here's, is Bow Wow's kid really going through it? Yeah, I mean, she's a Nickelodeon star. Oh, she's a TV star. I did not know that. Oh, but yeah, I mean, that's a little bit. Bow Wow's daughter's a Nickelodeon star? Yeah, she's a Nickelodeon. Oh, so she got every, she's 12. She got every right to say she don't want to do it. She might be overwhelmed. And if kids are overwhelmed, you cannot, you know, you got to just let them disconnect because she's going to grow to hate it. Like, she might just want to take a break for a second and then she might get back to it when she feels like she want to get back to it. Like, who the hell want to be working crazy at 12? I was just reading about that in Jada Pinkersmith's book. She had this whole chapter when she talked about Willow. And you don't realize all of the things Willow was set to do. Willow had to whip my hair record. That should slap, bro. That should slap. And then Willow was supposed to star in Annie. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yes. And like, she had the awareness just to be like, I don't want to do this. Like, this is too much work. Like, I don't want to be, I want to be a child. And I'm like, yo, you got to respect the kids wishes. Mind you, she was already in it. Like, she didn't, she disconnected when she was in it. Like, she already had signed up to do the movie. She had all of this backing, Jay-Z and James Lasser that they had the rights to Annie, all of this shit. And she decided, Joe, I don't want to do it. Good for her. Why you can't force them as a child? Like, why would you force? Once you force your child as child labor. Might as well send him to China. Once you force your child to work. Acting in movies is very similar to making iPhones. I mean, I would agree. I would agree. If you don't want to be in the movie? That's true, bro. If you don't want to be in the movie, it can feel just as, I don't know. Channel that, channel that as motivation. Annie didn't want to be an orphan. Annie did not want to be a fucking orphan, man. You know what I mean? Annie was talking about the summer, was going to come out tomorrow. She had no idea if that was true or not. You know what? It wasn't good enough for her. What happens at the end of that movie? Does she get adopted? Yeah, she got adopted during the movie. By whom? By the rich guy, yeah. Yeah, that's his name. No, it was Mr. Drummond, man. And then she had the two black brothers. Gosh. Wasn't, I don't think I know about Annie. Harry Coleman, Arnold, Arnold and Willis. Oh, Drummond is dick on your head. That. Oh, that one. That's a good show to get a lot off. The end of the show is called different strokes. I literally thought that's what you said. No, because you said, you said Drummond and the two black brothers. And I was like, is that the... No. Arnold and Willis, man. Did y'all want to see what Kim said? Or no. What did Kim say, Taylor? I mean, it's the same, but let's see what Kim K said. Is that the video? She'll go to her dad. She'll be like, dad is the best. He has it all figured out. He doesn't have a nanny. He doesn't have a chef. He doesn't have security. He lives in an apartment and she'll start crying. Why don't you have an apartment? I can't believe we don't have an apartment. Dad is the best. She feels like that because Kanye probably just lets her play. You know, Kanye's a big kid himself. You know what I mean? She can go over Kanye's house. It's no pressure to go to Kanye's apartment. It's no pressure. The grass is always greener. The grass is always greener at the house that you're not at all the time. Yeah, because it's like hanging with your grandparents. That's just fun because there's no rules. Absolutely. The rules parent is always going to be the annoying one until you get older and then that's the parent where you're like, oh, wow, they were really fired. They really cared about me. They really wanted me to be great. Is the video done? You're crying. Huh? Is the video done? The one that says you sold out in 90 minutes. Yeah. Let's take a break. You got to take a flex break. Y'all can watch us do this. Where's the video? I'll let you do it. I'm going to repulse you. This is a flex break. I'm going to repulse Andrew. Flex break is... You got to take a flex break. Yo, you saw it at the fucking garden in 90 minutes. Stop acting like this shit is normal. Stop acting like this shit is regular. Okay? This shit ain't normal. This shit ain't motherfucking regular, man. Praise be to God. And the people in New York City. 90 minutes, conversation changes, bro. Conversation changes. You guys start looking at me different. You got to stop being... Talk to me motherfucking nice. You got to stop being like doji cat. What doji cat do? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You're chilling. Ah! After you tell out the second show. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. You got to do one video where you humble. Like, thank you very much. This and that. And you got to do another one. What you doing? Play that again? Big dojo! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You guys, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I feel like that was really mean for me to do that. To say that and make that video. That was like really disturbing. I'm serious. She just had a vote of people. She must have sold some shit out. She saw out the garden in 90 minutes though. All right guys, we take break for a second. Because I got to tell you all about the chew. Blue chew. Okay. Best dick you ever delivered in your life is going to be delivered by blue chew. Same active ingredients inside by Aggrasiasma. This is the chew. This one that we rock with. This one that makes it turn into lobster mac. If you want it to sound like lobster mac. Okay, you hit the blue shoe, all right? If you wanna try those other pills, she gonna sound like Bernie Mac, but if you wanted to sound like Lobster Mac, it's blue shoe, okay? And you know what you're gonna get your first month free, all you gotta do is pay $5 shipping, you go to bluechew.com slash idiots, use our promo code idiots, you're gonna get your first month free, just pay the $5 shipping, you are welcome. Now let's get back to the show. Somebody got a good idea, somebody was like, yo, it should be Kyla's only. What? Kyla's only. Oh yeah, for the show. Kyla's only. Put on a Kyla. Kyla's only, if you wear a Kyla, you're a real freaking Andrew Schott's fan. You understand the meaning of why you got a Kyla on in the garden. Listen, gotta salute to the OG Steve Harvey. I'm gonna see my guy Steve Harvey in a couple of weeks in Dubai, man. And I wanna tell you about something that's been keeping me feeling fresh, healthy and energized lately. It's called Elevate U Vitality Daily Greens, co-founded by big uncle Steve Harvey and formulated by Harvard scientists. 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If you are a Andrew Schultz super fan, Andrew Schultz fan, you've been listening to Brilliant News, you've been listening to Flagrant all these years, you know why the collar means so much in the garden. I think we all got to come call it up in May. I agree. I think that's the move. All right, let's do it. Let's keep a real rat package that night. Yo, I love it. Let's do a real rat package that night in the garden, man. I love it. You might have to do it for real. I love it. Everybody dressed up. Everybody dressed up. To be mine. You got to do the suits. You got to do it, man. Let's throw the garden back. I think we got to do it, yo. I love it, man. I think we got to do it for the garden, man. Bring the minks out, too. We're going Frank Lucas. It don't matter. Frank Luke, what is it? It's Frank. It's Frank. It wasn't a mink. All right, we took a quick little flex break just to post this video letting everybody know that the Hezzy sold out the garden in 90 minutes and tickets go on sale Wednesday at 9 a.m. for another show. Truthfully, by the time this podcast come out, y'all probably, this show, it'll probably be sold out. Second show will probably be gone. Inshallah. Inshallah. Inshallah. Inshallah. Inshallah. What else we got, man? Oh, celebs are getting back with their exes. Everybody says, let's get back with your ex season. I mean, oh, Sukiyana said that. Sukiyana encouraged everybody to get back with their ex. Why? What'd she say? Because Birdman and Tony Braxton. Here's the thing that's so funny about this. How do we know these people even broke up? How do you know Birdman and Tony Braxton broke up? Yeah, I said, I didn't know they broke up. Who's that in the corner? Janet Jackson and JD. Janet Jackson and JD back together, too? And who's that? Summer Walker? Nellie and Ashan? I don't think Janet and JD are, I think they're just friends, though. I don't know why people care. I'ma be honest with you. What do you mean? And I still don't understand why celebrity is the freaking blueprint for everything. Like just because it's working for these individuals, what makes you think you should get back with your ex? Does it make you wanna get back with your ex, Taylor? No comment. Not them. But it's already, I'm not saying nothing else. Relax. Dang. Relax. Why? Relax, he's not, first of all, it's not an ex, let's be very clear. What you mean it's not an ex? So what is it, a Y, a Z? What is it, huh? He's my best friend, so with a Z. Aw. Hold on, is that the one who just had a baby? No. Oh. Asshole. Me or him? You. What you mean? So Taylor's back with her best friend. Relax. I didn't know you had a best friend now as a guy. Wait a minute, this is really beautiful. Wow. Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have a best friend that you've been intimate with? We started off as friends, there was a time, I met him back at Hampton, we started off as friends. Started off as friends. Okay. And over time, you know, chemistry got more stronger and saw what was going on. Who is this nigga? I know him from time, I know him from time. No, you have met him, I brought him to the station like six years ago. Wow. He's met my parents, all that shit already. Why have you kept him away? Um, life be happening, but he's, we've kept in touch on them, we reconnected. So shit's rekindled, oh shit, you over there blushing, doing your little feet, creasing your fucking air force. You know what he was getting? Y'all, whatever, put him in his joint. Creasing your fucking J's, he'll get you. Hold on. You're smitten. I mean smitten like a goddamn kid. Yeah, wait, so what's going on right now? Did you tell him? I ain't hate you. Blushing like a motherfucker, I wish we had a camera on you so people could see this shit. Damn. Hey man, so break this down. So wait, there's a, what do you mean, what do you mean in your life that you loved? What did he major in? Business. Oh, I see what the fuck happened. How long ago was Hampton Homecoming? Relax. Yeah, I know what the fuck happened. Wait, don't even tell that. What did Hampton Homecoming last weekend or the weekend before last? Huh? 30, 60 MGs of that good sativa? Couple of drinks? First of all, before Hampton, it was already, we already reconnected. But that homecoming weekend was different. Was it different? Yup. That homecoming hoohah hit different, huh? Was it different though? That Hampton Homecoming hoohah hit different. It was home. I'll say that. Did you give him, did you give him some? I just want a rough neck to go on the tongue. You guys had sex? Stop. Did you guys have sex? Oh my God. Hampton Homecoming. Did you use a condom? Oh my gosh. Did you ask people for a condom for Taylor? Shut up. Nobody asked me for a condom. You had your goddamn cyborg wallet and I said, can you fit condoms in here? I ain't saying nobody asked me for no condom. That's very true. Taylor Gay! Oh my God. I know it happened because the last few weeks we've been in here whenever we start talking about detail, I'm with a spiritual journey. Wait a minute. You found heaven, huh? That spiritual journey ended up at Hampton Homecoming. I know, I'm very happy. You let your head down. You did let your head down. I compliment your hair, remember? You tap in the laptop, you looking up in the sky. Can't stop smiling. Can't stop smiling. Damn. Man, you might as well give him a shout out. Yeah, give him a shout out. Yo homie, shout out to you, man. Taming that wild Philly John. Finally. She's walking different, man. Walking fucking different. You are walking different. I remember when you ran to the elevator today, I was like, there's a little hobble going on over here. Did you see David Axelrod say it's time for Joe Biden to sit the fuck down? What? David Axelrod. The name sounds familiar. The name sounds familiar. That was his title, right, Chris? Chief of Staff? I thought you were talking about the character from Billions. What? All right, so what do you say to Biden? Look, only he can decide that, Phil, but, and I don't, I'm not reacting to one particular poll, but, you know, a whole body of research and conversations with people. And my concerns, I want to make clear, I think Biden's been a great president. I think he's done things that have generational, will have generational impact and importance. I think he's been honorable in the office. I have nothing but good things to say, but as I've said for like a couple of years now, the issue is not, for him is not political, it's actuarial, and you can see that in this poll. And there's just a lot of concern about the age issue and that is something that I think he needs to ponder. Just do a check and say, is this the right thing to do? I believe if he does run, he will be the nominee, and I'm not encouraging people to challenge him. I think the party should fall in behind him if he's the nominee of the Democratic Party, because at the end of the day, this is a, not a normal race, this is a race about democracy and the state of democracy and the survival of our democracy. And that's the threat on the other side here. And I know how deeply the president feels about that. So he just has to ask himself is this the best path? I suspect that he will say yes. But time is fleeting here and this is probably the last moment for him to do that check and it's probably good if he does. Here's the thing. I've been saying that as far as like I feel like the Republican Party should move away from Trump and I feel like the Democrats should move away from Biden. But to whom? That's exactly the point. There's nobody there. Nobody there. If you're David Axelrod, no it's plenty there on Republican side. But if you're David Axelrod and you make a statement like that as a former chief strategist for Barack Obama, you can't make a statement like that without a plan B. Oh that's a shot. That's a shot. Obama and David Axelrod was talking to him. I don't feel like David Axelrod, I feel like he came up with that on his own. But you don't feel comfortable going out there saying that unless that is a very big sentiment in the whole Democratic Party. So who do you put up there? I don't know. That's my whole point. What is the plan B? You can't make a statement like that without a plan B. Michelle Obama. No man. No. She would win. No man. So Democrats have nobody. Republicans do have people but they're not going to get behind them. I like Tim Ryan in Ohio man. I think Tim Ryan in Ohio. He used to be in the Senate. I just know a shirt guy from Ohio. Just what shirt guy? Pennsylvania. Oh, Pennsylvania, my bad. Oh no, no, no. I need to talk about it. Tim Ryan from Ohio would be good. You can't have Gavin Newsom. What about Gretchen? No woman is going to win, Chris. We got to be honest about this. Chris just said Gretchen would win. Okay, Schultz. Yeah. Man, it's just America. But we said that about black people too. Yeah, but it's different. It's still a man. I don't think so. You know what I'm saying? If you would have asked me back in the day would we elect a white woman before a black man? I would have told you absolutely not. No way. Just like everybody says Secretary Pete. I like Secretary Pete. I really think America is going to ever elect a gay man as president. Exactly. That's what I say. Why not? I think America could. A gay president? Yeah. I don't see it. I genuinely think we could. I don't see it. They can't be all gay about it. Secretary Pete drives a minivan with his husband. That's pretty straight. That's what married couples drive. My parents drove a minivan. We got a speaker at a house right now who thinks that gay people should be banished. Banished to where? You didn't see his comments? No. Pull up Mike Johnson's comments on homosexuality. What he said? Put it like this. His worldview, his words, his worldview is the Bible. Oh. And he's the speaker at a house. He believes in conversion therapy. All of that shit. Here's the thing. If you're religious, right? If you're devoutly religious and this is your God telling you what to do and you're not questioning your God. Isn't conversion therapy empathetic? It's not a mean thing. It's like, hey, I want you to go to heaven. I love you as a brother. You are doing this sinful act. But I think that we can help you stop doing that through this conversion. So why didn't they conversion therapy for premarital sex? Conversion therapy for eating pork? Conversion therapy for weighing polyester? All of these things the Bible tells you that you shouldn't do. There's no question that there's tons of hypocrisy. I'm not trying to say that. What I'm trying to say is we're approaching this perspective from people who don't take the Bible literally and we're looking at them and be like, oh, it's so rude what you're doing trying to convert these people. No, he takes it literally. He said the fall of the Roman Empire was homosexuality. And he's the speaker at a house. I'll hear him out. I'll hear him out. We got to hear him out. You got to hear him out. You got to hear him out. He might have a fire, brilliant idiot. That sounds like a brilliant idiot's point. That was a lot of pedophilia. What? If homosexuality crashed the Roman Empire, then explain Alexander the Great. Can we just be honest here? Alexander the Great didn't really have an empire. He had like a hot 10 years. But a very hot 10 years. He had a hot 10 years really capped off by taking out Cyrus, the Persian king, but if he didn't take out Cyrus, he's almost not even remembered because that was the big accomplishment. Back then, that land was traded back and forth in tons of different ways. He was all eager. But taking out the Persians was like an impossible thing. I read a story about somebody he ran up on and the person wasn't scared of Alexander the Great and somebody with Alexander the Great said, why aren't you afraid? He said, why aren't you afraid? This is the greatest conqueror in the world. The guy told Alexander the Great, I'm not afraid because I don't have a need or desire to conquer the world. He basically was like, that need you have to conquer the world is your Achilles. That's your problem. I don't have that desire. I don't have the desire to conquer the world and conquer everybody. And it did end up killing him. Absolutely. 100% Hold on. Did you see the Napoleon trailer? Oh my God, that shit is so far. How short is he? Sure. That's British propaganda, bro. Really? They were terrified of that motherfucker. He was running shit. I mean, it was about how Napoleon was short. And he took over an entire continent. Abraham Lincoln was tall and he got shot in the fucking head. So who's would have missed? Who would have missed? Who's more successful? Who had more success? Yo, would have missed. Would have missed. How crazy is that? Yo, Abe Lincoln, bro. Except he was sitting down. He kept Lincoln was sitting down when he was shot. You ever seen me when I'm sitting down? Yeah, I'm way short of sitting down and standing up. That's how sitting works. Yo, Abe Lincoln, son, Lincoln, you know Lincoln got the gay rumors, right? People said Abe Lincoln's gay. That's what they call him, Stankin Lincoln? Stankin Lincoln. Dang it. Stankin Lincoln, yeah. The log cabin is his asshole. Yo, the log cabin. Yo, bring your log in this cabin right here. Holy shit. But for real, they said he was gay. Really? And he did get shot watching a play. Gay? You know what I mean? Like, come on, just say it. Why is it okay to make Lincoln jokes nowadays? Nah, because time went by. Yeah, enough time went by. Lincoln's the goat. Like, he's the motherfucking goat. My brother's named after Lincoln. Your brother's name is Greg. Gregory Lincoln Schultz. Oh, got you. But Lincoln is the motherfucking goat. That being said, his wife was crazy. Literally had a batshit crazy wife, right, Chris? Correct. So he was probably, you know, sucked. This is how you know Abraham Lincoln was great. Whenever you got rumors. That you're gay. That's how you know he's black. That's how you know Abraham Lincoln was gay. Like, what was Abraham Lincoln really? You know how you know Abraham Lincoln's really black, though, for real, for real? That is hilarious. They got Trump on one side and Lincoln on the other. What about Lincoln? Okay. Think about how they treated Lincoln. What coin is he on? The penny. The only coin. This brown, right? Have you seen the Lincoln Memorial? Put up a picture of the Lincoln Memorial right now. Put up a picture of the Lincoln Memorial right now. From the outside. Why is the penny brown, though? Do we know why the penny's brown? Because Lincoln's black. I'm out of town, talking with my round. Look at that, look at that right there. Look at top left. Why do we never say penny brown? Top left, top left, top left, top left. Click that right there. Zoom in a little bit. He is the only statue behind bars. Oh my God. They done locked up Lincoln. That's how you know he's black. They locked him up. He's incarcerated. And he on the brown penny. He's incarcerated. And they used him for one of the greatest... Freeway beer. They used him as one of the greatest anthems of all time. I got five on it. I got five on it. He's on the five dollar bill. Card of black people love to drive as the Lincoln. Stinking Lincoln. Damn. Abraham Lincoln is black. God damn. That's a black-ass man. And they shot him. Got shot. God damn, man. Drive by. That's why I don't nobody care when we make Lincoln jokes no more. There it is. If Lincoln was white, they'd probably stop. I gotta stop making fun of the first black president, man. Yo, you know what's crazy? The statue in Washington, D.C.? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he got a statue in D.C.? In D.C.? No, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah, on the National Monument, I think, right? But, you know, it's wild. It's white. I mean, it's... Yeah, the statue. The material. Why not make it black? Why not make it out of black material? Well, probably when they made it, they probably didn't have the color palace to do it, right? What do you mean when they made it? Oh, that's your bin up there. Bro, they've had marble. They've had different color marble for fucking centuries. My point is, hundreds of years from now, 400 years from now, people are going to think Martin Luther King was white. Because of the set? Yeah, that's the only thing they'll have to remember him. Nah, look at those features, man. You could have made it. Go. Look at those features, man. What features? What features? The nose, the lips. That's Kim Jong-un. So that is... If I tell you that's Kim Jong... Them lips, bruh. K Junior, man. That's a black man. So that is Kim Jong-un until you hit them lips. Now, they might knock the nose and the lips off. Now, the nose... The nose is still ambiguous. They take the nose and the lips off. You might be wondering who that is. That's Steve Harvey, bro. That's Steve Harvey, bro. That's the king, man. Yo, survey says... Somebody got... Shut up, man. Let's pay some bills, man. DoorDash. Everyone deserves to feel like a VIP. And with DashPass from DoorDash, you can. 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Sign up for more. Become a DashPass member today. Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second because listen, we got to put in our picks, okay? You already know it's prize picks time. It's time to hit them with them more or less. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. I got some guaranteed locks. I'm putting the quotes on it, guaranteed because it's got to be legal, but I have not missed yet. I don't even know if that's true. But I'm telling you, okay, prize picks is a skill based, real money, daily fantasy sports game. How does it work? You pick two to six players and if they will go more or less than their projections you can win up to 25 times your money. That's as simple as that, more or less. Hey, this person is going to get more than five rebounds. Hey, this person is going to drop more than 20 points. Hey, this person is going to throw less than two touchdowns. It is not difficult and you are going to cash in. Also, they have quick withdrawals, easy gameplay, an enormous selection of players and stat types. This is one of the reasons why prize picks are the number one daily fantasy sports app, okay? I'm telling you right now you go find your guaranteed locks and just cash in. It's simple as that. And you know what they're going to do? They're going to match your initial deposit bonus up to $100 when you use our promo code. I'm telling you, prize picks offers the weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts as well. They got Taco Tuesday, okay? Each Tuesday prize picks discounts select players, projections up to 25% to provide even more value, okay? Prize picks also now offers Apple Play for quick and easy deposits into your account this football season. With prize picks reboot policy, your entries stay in play even if one of your players gets injured. Think about that. Think about that for NFL games and college football top 25 matchups. If you have a player who exits the game in the first half and does not return the second, that player is rebooted. They're looking out for you. Prize picks is the only daily fantasy sports platform with injury insurance. How crazy is that? Especially when you're hitting the more or less is on football, okay? So, right now prize picks is going to match your initial deposit bonus up to $100. That means you put in $100, they're matching with $100 and you use it. Get your picks in with all that, okay? That's free money and extra hundred for you to win some stuff on. So, you go to prizepicks.com slash idiots, use the code idiots for a first deposit match up to $100, okay? Prize picks. Daily fantasy sports made easy. Now, let's get back to the show. You already know. Madison Square Garden. Thank you guys so much for selling out the first show. We're at the second one. We're trying to go back to back at the garden. So, get those tickets. I'm not sure exactly what day this episode is coming out, but whenever it does come out, go there. Get it. These are going to be the shows. You know, I'm going to make sure that this is the wildest comedy show Madison Square Garden has ever seen. He sold out the first show in 90 minutes. I'm going to be honest with you, it's very hard to do the podcast today only because I only feel like talking about this. Because it's such a fucking accomplishment. You know what I'm saying? It's fucking cool. So, thank you guys, everybody who supported everybody who spread the word. Everybody continues to spread the word. Keep doing that. We need that. And I love that. And it means the world. And I promise you I'm going to deliver the greatest comedy show the garden has ever seen. May 3rd and May 4th. May 4th already sold out. So, when the tickets go on sale for May 3rd, by the time this comes out, it's probably sold out. Let's hope, man. Let's hope. Inshallah. Inshallah. I got to tell everybody I can't believe I forgot I had it with me all day. I flew to my guy Doug Melville. Invisible Generals. Invisible Generals comes out. It came out Tuesday. You know, we're recording this on a Tuesday. Invisible Generals actually came out today. You know what I mean? So, that is the next release, the latest release off my book imprint with Simon & Shoes to Black Privilege Publishing. The amazing true story of America's first black generals, Benjamin O. David Sr. and Junior, a father and son who helped integrate the American military and create the famous Tuskegee Airmen Invisible Generals is out today. Slew to everybody that's been reviewing it. I had him on The Daily Show with me last week and after The Daily Show happened, he was like top 10 in like no, top 5 in 10 different categories on Amazon, man. So, you know, it's one of those stories like not only did Benjamin O. David has helped integrate the U.S. military and found the Tuskegee Airmen. He helped with implementing the speed limit the 55-mph speed limit and the TSA and what we now know is the TSA. So, it's like a really incredible story, man. So, make sure you go out there and get Invisible Generals anywhere you buy books. He created the speed limit? He helped create the speed limit. Unfucking believable. He might be single-handedly responsible for you guys being late all the fucking time. If there was no speed limit think about how on-time black people could be, but this guy really fucked it up for you. 55 miles per hour? Yeah, and salute to everybody that watched me on The Daily Show last week, man. How was that, man? How'd it feel? Bro, it was the most fulfilling television experience I've had in the talk shows. Amazing. It was like playing with the 90s bulls. Like, whatever it probably felt like to play in Field Jackson's Triangle Offense when it was back-to-back, three-peating, it felt like that. Can you tell that joke? Can you tell that joke that you had? Oh, it's a joke. The Chinese one? Yeah, that's so good. I mean, they played half of it when Gavin Newsom ran over the Chinese kid in China and I was like, finally a Democrat that's being tough on China. And I was like, he knocked the little kid down and I was like, hey, bitch. You know? And then I was like, but in all seriousness, you know, hey, just glad this kid is all right. He's got to get back to That's the only thing they cut all week. That's phenomenal. But man, it really was like, because you hear the thing about people don't realize about The Daily Show. It looks good on you, bro. But it's an institution. Looks good on you. It felt good, but it's an institution. Yes. This has been around for 27 years. You were signing up for the role. That's right. And that's what you have to know when you go into that building. I think that makes sense. Don't go in there trying to change their culture. Right. You just go in there and elevate whatever it is and that culture already is like, you didn't go play for the Bulls in the 90s and change what the fuck Phil Jack was doing. It's going to be a triangle defense. How can you excel? Sorry, triangle offense. How can you excel within the time? That's right. I'm going to take your talents and I'm going to use your talents to help us elevate what we're already doing. Same thing with the Patriots in the 2000s, the Spurs in the 90s, 2000s. Whoever you can name, whatever system it was, that's what this is. And it's such a system. The showrunner of the show, her name is Jennifer Flance. Got to give Jennifer a salute to her because everything starts at the top. Right. She's been there. She was a PA since 1996. So she gets it. She understands the system. She understands what it is they're trying to do. The Daily Show. I think the Daily Show has a certain post of society. And it's a certain thing we expect from the Daily Show. It's a bar that John Stewart said. Oh, amazing. Trevor took that baton and carried it and I think people want that sensibility. Yes. Absolutely. But I thought it was cool that you maybe pushed back against what the typical sensibility of the Daily Show would be. Well, I think the sensibility of what it was like back now. Let's go back to when John Stewart was on. John Stewart was talking to both sides. I feel like yours was more reflective of that. That's what we do. We're the type of people we want to sit down and we want to have conversations about with everybody and about everything. And just as far as being objective, that's just who we naturally are. People say we're a contrarian. I disagree. But the reality is we just like to see things from all angles and all sides explored. I think as soon as you pick a side, you lose. Yeah. I think as soon as you pick a side, you shut yourself down to learning, being educated. Agreed. Like you cannot just shut things down. Agreed 100%. Like how you said just now even about Mike Johnson. You hear him out? You know what I'm saying? Mike Johnson. That speaker at the house. Oh, yeah. He was super homophobic and hates gay people. No, I'm just going to hear him out. Hold on. Because you said his worldview was the Bible. No, I'm hearing him out about Rome. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you want to hear about what? He might have some facts. Yeah, yeah, I threw what you said. Because he said homosexuality is the fall of Rome. I get what you're saying. Let's hear it out. Yeah, I get what you're saying. And by the way, if you don't agree with me, you just shoot it down. Gay dudes look like they're having a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. If everybody was gay, there was too much fun in Rome. The empire was full. Nobody was working. America was full. Everybody was gay, America was full. Everybody was having too much fucking fun. I don't know, gay people are very organized. If everybody's gay, right? We'd be a very well-dressed society. We'd be well-dressed, but nobody's going to be buying shit as a four. A lot more empathy we'd have. Empathy. You don't think so? Yeah. I think we'd have a lot more empathy for each other. Listen, there'd be advantages if everybody's gay, and there'd be disadvantages if everybody's gay. Just like in life. I just need to see it. I need to see it. Yeah. Like, I need to understand his argument. Yeah, I'm with you, but that's my point. You're willing to listen. And if you disagree, you're going to challenge him on the disagreement. And the crazier argument you got, the more I want to listen to it. Come on, man. Come on, man. The more I want to listen to it. Come on, man. If you tell me you turned into a wolf when you were younger, I want to hear it out. But it's true. You've been telling me that for ten years. I have no reason to lie about it. But long story short, Daily Show was fantastic. I love it. I really, really was. It was a massive experience. Slew through everybody at the Daily Show, the whole production team, all the writers, everybody. I thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed myself. And it's one of those experiences where you walked away and you felt like you actually learned something. Like, I felt like I grew from that experience. You know what I'm saying? Like, I really do. I felt it. I felt so. Um... I learned that experience really, truly does matter. Experience in hosting a show? Well, that is well, you know, and I have a lot of experience in hosting it. That was another thing, too, right? It's like, damn. When you start to do as much television as I've done on talk shows, right, because I had Charlemagne and Friends that evolved in an uncommon sense. All of that was with MTV, too. Then we did, you know, God's Honest Truth that turned into Hell of a Week. That was with Comedy Central. If you want them to go, like, they end up getting canceled. You start to question yourself a little bit, like, well, I did it, you know what I'm saying? I got the opportunity to do it. You know, maybe it's not my thing, but then you constantly keep getting pulled back to do it. And then when you get to do something like The Daily Show and you're in there with a bunch of well-seasoned, experienced writers who know how to do what it is you're attempting to do and they get it when you go in there and you say, I did it, I have yada, yada, yada, and they know how to execute it. You know, it just makes you feel like, oh, this is what I was missing. This is what I need when I'm there. This is what I need. And it's not a knock to any of the writing rooms that we've had. But it is. Well, I'll tell you what, you can have the talent. There's levels. But you've got to have the experience. Yeah, there's levels. You can be a raw talent that can write some fire shit, but do you know, do you have the experience? There's levels to this shit. It's levels. And it's okay. They should aspire also to do it. That's why you got to have rooms where you got to have your 20-year veteran. And if you want to bring in this newbie who got the talent, you got this 20-year veteran to put his arm around this newbie and show this newbie how to write TV. It's the Miami Heat. It's a different ballgame. Writing TV is a different ballgame than just writing jokes. 100%. And you might need somebody who just got crazy ideas or funny ideas around people who can really polish things and then build this great joke. But just having people have the crazy ideas and nobody can structure it or just having the structure and none of the crazy ideas isn't going to work. And you got to have people who just want to try shit. Yeah. One of the biggest issues that everybody has nowadays when they go in writer's rooms is you will spend so much time debating what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. Debating what's offensive and what's not offensive. You know what I'm saying? You can't even have a... If I want to do a long story short which I did on Daily Show about Joe Biden and why Democrats are weak let's just do the take. You know what I'm saying? Because it's not like we don't know this. If we're being honest, everybody's being honest you know that they're weak. You know America loves this gangster shit. You know why people like Trump let's try to not act like we don't. And we know why people don't like Biden so let's stop acting like... we're an exceptional creature. So let's give some critique on what the Democrats could be doing. How about y'all need to get on this gangster shit too? That was basically my take. So when you got a room full of people that's like I totally get it. Let's get to it. I love it. As opposed to I don't know I don't want to sound like you're supporting Trump. Oh God we're smart people here y'all like you know what I mean? And you're also brave enough to take the risk. I think that's the thing a lot of people are concerned about the perspective that they'll have or people have about them but I think oftentimes those people are out of touch with what the streets are talking about and by the streets I just mean like what the average American is feeling. If you live in like a Hollywood bubble or a political bubble or I don't know like maybe an entertainment bubble or whatever it is you're really just concerned with that bubble and those people in the bubble are not reflective of Americans. Once you know what Americans really feel you have a little bit more freedom to play because you're not worried you're going to be labeled as some MAGA dude just because you're saying yo Biden don't got the gangster shit that Trump does and that's what the people want. That's right. When a coach is talking to you a coach is telling you everything that you're not doing correct because he wants you to correct it because he wants you to be the best version of yourself so you can fucking win. And that's what we got to do. It did make me feel like man when we when we have these writer's rooms where we're bringing in like all new people and they don't have the experience it's like it made me feel like I set them up for failure. Yeah you need like you got to have the experience people in the room man. I know. I got to. So with my guy you know Josh leave he came on for the second season of Hell of a Week he came from Daily Show. Interesting. And he bought that experience so those talented people we had in the room like the Charles McBees Linnae and everybody else like we you know we he was able to help get the best out of them and basically just show them how to actually write for a talk show you know it's a salute to Linnae Linnae works at the Daily Show now like you know what I mean she's in the writer's room over there so yeah you just got the long story short for anything that you're doing do not discount experience you know we love to run towards you and we love to run towards what's new and surround yourself with greatness that's right it's like greatness is only going to make you more great. That's right it's the reason people are happy to be 20 year veterans or something yeah you know 100% 25 year veterans that's something like you got to have that experience bro the video that we put out you know with my dad and I am at the square garden like that Vala made that video and it was just absolutely beautiful he's amazing at creating those videos right amazing I feel you setting something up. I feel like you setting something up. No Vala it sounds like it's not real person that's a real switter switter got it where is he the bowl he's in your mouth no no no but Vala made the video and he's just amazing at creating these pieces and when you have someone that's that great at it you get something that's great obviously I have a relationship with my father that is incredibly important to me and it's something that I can speak on very easily because of how important it is but you still need something great to elevate and that's just like the daily show or anything else it's like your talent if you have the right people around you there's nobody who can stop it because already you're going to be able to do it by yourself better than most people and then you get people around you that are nice what happened when Jordan got Pippin Tony Kukos, Dennis Robbins things started to be different man it's a tone setting thing man I'm telling you man the daily show has a culture when you do it you understand what I'm saying like when you go there you'll get it and you'll quickly gain trust for the room you know what I'm saying you'll quickly gain trust for the room it doesn't take shot you only get one time to do that shit now you're not going to tell your pops that twice unfortunately I probably could have based on my dad's memory but unfortunately unfortunately why the fuck are you telling me this again I got it I got it but you're right 100% you could have fucked that up and captured a raw emotion of that shit you know what I'm saying the look of joy in your father's eyes what's the word I'm looking for pride you in that moment the capture of you the innocence I love the interstitials of you as a child because in that moment as you're talking to your dad you saw your inner child you saw your inner child your dad for all of that stuff that most kids take for granted until they get old enough to realize god damn pops was right this shit is not easy this shit is no joke so man salute the ball what's his name now you trying to get me no Avon Orgy is opening up about her virginity at the age of 39 and she revealed that she has pent up sexual energy let's hear it Chelsea Handler's podcast you ever act hard and what are you 39 I am that damn is going to break one day baby maybe let me tell you right now let people like oh I'm like pray for him whoever he is you can put a lot of pent up energy up in here with me and you're going to hit your sexual peak when you start having sex so yeah you're going to need a couple of men probably he all went from being a virgin to polyelid are you still a virgin I wonder how you know you got pent up sexual energy if you never had sex actually stuff masturbating all the time sex scenes again it's still not sex I know but she has to act in that you know how you started blushing when you started talking about how you smashed the dude from Hampton a couple weeks ago that you were at home coming I can't believe you had had a crush you remember how you started blushing and you was tossing your hair and shit and creasing your jaw and shit you know what sex feels like having pent up sexual energy if you've never had sex you don't think she masturbated anything with that that's still ain't sex though you didn't have one I'm not telling you my business just know it's great I don't even like talking about this because I know Yvonne but it's like I don't know how you have pent up sexual energy if you've never had sex did you have we're not getting on every time I eat mine you know you can't edit, he's got the no edit feature on did he hit it from the bottom he can't edit any of this Taylor did he give you the popcorn did he give you popcorn what is that the popcorn from the bottom did he give you popcorn what makes a man the throat go what what kind of blue judge question is better I told Pete he was on purpose I told him he was talking about Mike Johnson and I was like yo it's kind of crazy for him to hate gays and his last name is Johnson and Pete is like okay I think I gotta go cut a ribbon or something real quick and I said yo you gotta hit Mike with the tip of the files he was like he was like I gotta go he was like I gotta go he's like I gotta go do something do you want me to ask who or what no he knew with the tip of the files so he listens I don't know if he listens it's kind of hard it's crazy to just like gay people so much and your last name is Johnson shut up man I'm just saying you don't have to tell me use that one Pete secretary Pete use that one damn did you make any sounds can you relax what does it sound like I don't know I'm sorry I don't know why I did that no what does it sound like what do you want to know I want to know if it sounds like lobster mac you're going to marry that man I'm telling you does it sound like the lobster mac Taylor Hayes is going to marry that man remember I said it I can see it on you y'all both went to Hampton together Hampton to London Eye you're in love you're going to marry that man guaranteed you two weeks pregnant now don't even know did he use a condom no I'm not saying anything else whoa that sound like he hit it raw you two weeks pregnant right now and don't even know it keep it Taylor I want to keep it did he hit it raw my man took you to the sushi you're going to get married you're going to get married you let the man eat at the motherfucking omacasa I cannot tell her so look shout out to all the burges out there y'all going to heaven man real talk there's nothing wrong with that anybody out there that's a virgin right now and you want to wait for magic doing what you're supposed to be doing I feel like it's hard in this day and age though with her age yeah guys aren't going to be unless she meets her man in church yeah they church they definitely fucking you got so many men in church that are virgins with their penis but fucking whores with their asshole yo what's going on Taylor I said the guys what I said the guys what's going on I said the guys are virgin with their penises but fucking whores with their buttholes in church yeah but that's not consensual bro yes it is consensual you think they giving it up to them priests consensual I didn't say nothing about the priest but don't the priests do that oh my god what you oh my god in lobster mac over there pounce pounce pounce pounce how he turn your shit to lobster mac oh my god you gonna get married though that's the beauty of it you never telling you you never mix up some lobster mac and it sound like it you know what the fuck lobster mac sound like no lobster mac you never mix up a bowl of lobster mac and it sounds like lobster mac why not just mac and cheese pieces of rat fishing first of all lobster is a crustacean second of all you shout out to missy eliot she's the first what is she what is that about he got a different name I didn't hear this the kid doesn't know Martin Luther King's real name but he that's his name exactly but he didn't he gets full I gotta see it rich kid got bangers bro now rich kid fires what's going on with this alright never mind let's do some ask an idiot let's do ask an idiot sorry everybody tell her you got some ask an idiots for us but wait this is actually really funny oh man you know what's really funny okay let's hear it okay he's with funny marco could you tell us about Martin Luther King real name huh his real name nothing in the world is more dangerous than some unconscious affinity no see here's the thing rich kid probably never has watched marco's show so he don't understand that marco was being sarcastic with that question he's watched the show well even if he's watched the show maybe he felt like he was getting caught in a trick bag cause there's no reason for him to ask that but you know that wasn't a bad answer the second his son is the third do we know he's not the second oh he is Martin Luther King he got it right he got it right no bro he is the second Martin Luther King Jr Martin Luther King the third oh you're right you're right for Mr. Kid was absolutely correct 100% you don't know shit you don't know shit Taylor oh maybe that's what he wanted though oh maybe that's why they clown on him cause they wanted him to say junior but the second is still junior yeah the second is still junior you don't say yeah I'm with that let's do some asking Nidia's tales well also shout out to Missy Elliott and Shaka Khan and DJ Kohirk for being Hall of Famers they've been Hall of Famers before the Hall of Fame didn't need the Hall of Fame to validate their names Lauren Hill speaks on lateness I do want to talk about this that we can do asking Nidia's cause this is interesting cause I want to know how you feel about this as an entertainer what she said she's late she's late to it yo yo lookie I'm making on this blood rice stage every night sister act 2 fire who surrounded no support when the album sold so many records and no one showed up and said hey would you like to make another one so I went around the world and I played the same album over and over and over and over and over and over and we're the survivors we're not just survivors I heard songs that was supposed to be on Lauren Hill's second album I used to go to Miami and work at Circle House Studios with the Diaz brothers the Diaz brothers let me hear a song that uh I don't know if they did it with Lauren or they fixed it for Lauren or something but here's the thing that is a terrible excuse for being late yo you can't be late constantly and then show up and tell the crowd y'all lucky I even made it here speed limit bro it's your boy it's your boy bro like that is not and why would they cheer him like the people that were cheering for that shit are masochists y'all like pain like why would you be cheering she had that rhythm and once you speak in that rhythm I'm clapping anybody here should die and what else is bad about this like look she says yo y'all lucky I made it on this stage here tonight I make it on this stage every night the reality is Queen Lauren Hill you're lucky that people still show up to the shows knowing that you're going to be late all the time yo don't take that for granted man like you know one album 20 plus years later people still showing up the way to do don't take that for granted man don't take that for granted try it up lobster max waiting for you to hit the stage don't blame it on God because God may not come when you call he's always on time he's on time God do some asking idiots Taylor gang can't tell them to be quiet but also just start with the asking idiots Taylor why do you hate asking idiots man it's crazy how much you hate asking it's really crazy they got noisy out there Tanya Tanya oh this is a good one underscore only one rye underscore says how do you know if your career is the right one for you has he it doesn't feel like work you love what you're doing you can't wait to do it more when you're not working you're thinking about it you want to talk about it you want to problem solve within it the thing that you're doing just brings you so much joy outside of bringing joy it can exhaust you and it can be tiring but at the same time it's satisfying you're not going through it lamenting it you're not going I wish I wasn't doing this thing and I'm wasting my life I've been very fortunate I'm sure you feel this way you've been very fortunate to not feel that way about the things we do to make a living I agree 100% you know if your career is the right one for you if you know you don't feel like it's work they always say if you're doing something you love you'll never work a day in your life I haven't felt like I worked a day in my life to go back to the daily show that's how the daily show felt last week it did not feel like work but it didn't feel like you were working but it didn't feel like work and so yes and that's how I feel on the radio every morning I actually be feeling guilty like god damn I get paid X, Y, and Z to do this so this question is crazy that's 2k what yes he said you guys would not marry to your wives would y'all ever be in a serious relationship with a stud nah nah I don't understand why would a stud want to be in a relationship with one of us and just imagine them barring your jeans and shit getting lobster mac all over them you know what studs is an acronym for some titties under that shirt it was so close some titties under that dress under that dress stud I said studs under some titties under that shirt nah you look close bro run it back because I feel like you right on the press some titties under that shirt some titties under that dress some titties under that shirt bone studs in harmony stud life tatted across my stomach stud life oh wait there we got this stud is strapped tucked under covered um I'm about to say dick that wouldn't make no sense with it I don't know man I just don't understand why this is a question I feel like he just did this so we would get these stud jokes off but I don't understand why a stud a shout out to you for doing that I was probably into a stud and he was like is that a stud make that a stud click on it she don't push back though that's what studs do though they got you tricked yeah dog.50 says when did Charlotte know that it was time to hang up to Jersey and be faithful um you just here's the thing if you're a very self aware person and you actually love and care about you know the person that you know you are with you know your wife your girlfriend whatever it is you just don't want to hurt that person and especially if you've uh you know seen several situations where you saw men be unfaithful and lose their families I saw that with my father I saw that with my uncles and you know a few of my uncles and I just did not want that to be me simple as that and you know the way my anxiety be set up bruh I can't lie yeah just the stress that that's gonna bring it no man the stress of the lying the stress of sneaking around it's also great to like have something that you share with that person that's only yours that relationship that you guys have is strictly yours and you build everything on that and then doing anything to undermine that creates a fracture in the entire castle that you're trying to build how can you say that that person is your best friend the closest person to you the person you lay down with every night and you're lying to that person like that means your whole foundation everything you just described is a fucking illusion that's not real that shit don't work for me I only like to lie on this podcast you know what I mean shout out to that I come here and I lie just to entertain y'all you were right about that Tarjay would you rather be able to walk through walls or breathe underwater I already breathe underwater breathing underwater is way more fine than walking through walls how would you know cause I mean walk through a wall like I do is open the door what's so good about walking through a wall I mean if you locked up and rob a bank you think they would ever keep you in jail if you had the ability to just walk through walls would they ever even think about locking you up how would they even have you that's what I'm saying I just walk out every single time they get tired of catching me they got to put your jail under the water unlike some Magneto shit what if I could do both he ain't saying both I could breathe underwater I'm not here to convince y'all I'll show you I know he on this podcast so I know I got guilt bro you should believe me when I'm lying bro let's do one or two more oh this is a good one let's begin with this musty legassie even your dream what is there to look forward to congrats on MSG new dreams man new dreams new dreams but this was the last thing that I wanted to accomplish in stand-up comedy so I have to start thinking of some new things and I have other things that are starting to percolate and things I want to work towards but this was the final destination so I mean it's still a lot of work even to get there but it is a pretty profound moment in your life when you go whoa that's what I want to do I agree with that answer and I think I would simply say when you are living your dream what is there to look forward to living the dream that's why when you see certain people and you be like how you doing they be like living the dream living the dream that's really what it is that's why that statement exists you know what I'm saying living the dream living in the dream Chris said something earlier that he just resonated with me but I understood what he was saying it's just like yo garden sold out living that for a second enjoy that moment man you know what I'm saying living that we so quick to just want to jump to the next thing the next accomplishment living the dream for a moment man go have a nice meal tonight drink some good wine accomplishment in your context you fucking hate you fucking hate a series series is bringing us back down to reality that my phone jokes that my phone factory jokes they cover for you as always if you listen to this podcast you think we're smart you think we're intelligent you think we're brilliant you're absolutely right but if you listen to this podcast you think we're just a couple idiots you don't know shit you're right too it's the brilliant idiots podcast thank you for listening