 Level 2, 3301 Classified Item No. SCP-3301 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-3301 is to be stored within a standard small containment locker at Site-19 when not being used for testing. Testing is only to be authorized by the SCP-3301 head researcher, currently Dr. Benjamin Cole. Testing may only be carried out at the Site-19 E-Wing Storage Warehouse, which has been renovated specifically for this purpose. It is a requirement that all staff members assigned to SCP-3301 must be versed in the rules and protocols of the game. As such, a detailed explanation is available in Addendum 3301.2. SCP-3301 is a Class 9 information security hazard, and its full repercussions are being studied by the Foundation Information Security Department. Updated Containment Procedures Per the Special Memorandum detailed in Addendum 3301.4, testing of SCP-3301 has been made available to all qualified personnel, and is available as an approved extracurricular activity in the Foundation Employee Benefit Program. Personnel are required to submit detailed testing logs for each 3301 activation period. Full log is available here. Description SCP-3301's Orinate Silver Box with a latch and silver key. Inscribed on the lip of the box is the following. The Foundation. A game by Cryologin Studios. A division of Dr. Wondertainment. Contained within the box is a board game with the aforementioned title, as well as game pieces and other miscellaneous game parts. The game comes with a small instruction manual detailing a fairly simple resource management board game. However, within the box is a small gold key and a velvet line drawer, which fits within the lock on the front of the silver box. Inserting the key and turning it while the game box is closed will cause a sliding hatch to open on the top of the box, revealing a flat purple button inscribed with a white letter W. Pressing this button, labeled within the manual as the Wonder Button, activates the primary anomalous features of SCP-3301 and begins a game of The Foundation. The following information pertains to the anomalous version of the game. The baseline properties of SCP-3301 are as follows. Open in the box will reveal a large game board of differing sides, shape, and design. Accompanied as game board will be eight-place markers of differing sides, shape, and design. Each game board, regardless of shape, features a slot in the middle of the board where a smaller silver box is placed. This box is a smaller version of the larger game box and bears the inscription Draw One on its lid. If the game is not in session, or if it is opened by a player out of turn, it appears empty. If opened by a player on their turn, it will produce between one and three random game cards, which have differing utilities within the game. For full description of setup, rules, and gameplay, see Addendum 3301.2 Addendum 3301.1 Discovery SCP-3301 was discovered on the desk of Director Tilda Moose at Site-19 on July 3rd, 2017. Attached to the exterior of SCP-3301 was a letter in a silver envelope bearing the word Foundation. The contained letter reads as follows. Dear SCP Foundation, sentient creatures so often seek purpose within their own lives, whether it be mundane or extraordinary. There are some who would dedicate their lives to healing the sick or feeding the hungry. Others would try to resurrect their broken gods, or sail through the stars on the arms of a cosmic starfish. Some would rid the world of the unnatural, or foster it in the halls of their library, and some are just in it for the memes. You seek to protect the world from the anomalous, categorize and classify it as strange and unique, and let humanity bask in the light. We seek to make people smile, and give people a reason to be happy, if only for a short time. Despite our differences, we cannot help but respect your motives. You've no doubt saved us a dozen times over, so we want to return to favor. We want to make you smile. Contained within this box is our greatest toy yet. There are no jokes here, no gaps or plotting. Everything we have at our disposal, every scrap of information and whist or arcana is contained within this game. We made it because, at the end of the day, we feel like you have the most interesting story to tell. We sincerely hope you enjoy it. Yours most splendidly, Dr. Wondertainment. P.S. We are very excited about this product, and believe it is nearly ready for production, but it wouldn't be acceptable to ship a product without playtesting it. So this version we're sending to you, our sole playtester, in the hopes that you'll be able to give us feedback on how we can make our game better. If at any point you stop playing for more than a few days, we'll know that you're done testing it, and we'll go ahead and put it on the shelves. If you don't think it's ready for the shelves, then just keep on testing it. P.P.S. Please submit all playtesting suggestions to 111 Wondertainment Way, Wondertainment Ville, Wondertainment Land, 10101 Yes, children, we see you there. We hope you're having fun, too. Addendum 3301.2 Gameplay The following is information pertaining to the proper gameplay of SCP-3301. In order to maintain containment of the artifact, monthly testing of SCP-3301 is required. Personnel assigned to SCP-3301 are required to maintain a thorough knowledge of the rules and regulations of the game. Introduction The following is an introduction copied directly out of the Foundation Gameplay Handbook. The handbook is a letter-bound pamphlet with embossed silver print displaying the name of the game, the production studio, and the words 50th anniversary edition. The Foundation, a game by CryoGen Studios, a division of Dr. Wondertainment Welcome weary researcher to the Foundation, a board game only for the strong willed and mighty of heart, but beware for danger lurks around every corner and foul things are creeping in the night. Do you have what it takes to stand between humanity and the darkness, or will you two be lost to the chaos eternal? Only time will tell. Become Mr. Collector, or maybe Mr. Containment. The choice is yours. Setup SCP-3301 is played between two to eight teams of two players. Each primary player chooses a secondary player to open their representative on the game board. The primary players are all selected when each set of players places their game pieces on the board. The board contained within SCP-3301 varies depending on which version of the game is being played and is random. Gameplay is similar between each board, though setting is different, such as The Land of the Unclean, Echoes of the Mariana, Bigfoot's Jungle, The Cosmic Star Physics, etc., and different hostile entities appear as opponents on different boards. Testing has revealed at least 23 different game boards, though there are possibly more. Once the game board is unfolded and the silver card box placed in the middle of the board in the appropriate space, the surrounding area, a space roughly 300 meters in diameter, will undergo dramatic anomalous spatial changes. Observers will see the space appear to fall away as if the viewpoint of observers outside of the area of effect has become a bird's eye view of a space much larger than the affected area. This observed space will mimic the current game board only on a much larger scale and typically built into an arena setting. Within the affected space, the primary players will find themselves seated around a flat crystalline surface suspended above the aforementioned game board arena, while their game piece representatives will be at the starting positions on the game board below. The start of the game is typically accompanied by music and fireworks and a voice announcing the beginning of a new game. Once the game has begun, nothing can be passed through the spatial distortion surrounding the game arena. Primary players who are killed or die in-game will appear outside of the distortion shortly after their death, unharmed. Primary players will remain within the anomaly for the duration of the game. Gameplay After the introduction has finished, the game begins. Each player starts the game by drawing seven cards from the silver box in the middle of the board, and end each turn by drawing one. If a player has more than ten cards in their hand at the end of a turn, they must discard one by returning it to the silver box. There are several types of cards that can appear in the box, and each affects the game in different ways. Green cards Are cards that influence the environment of the board. These can range from obstacles that can be used against other players to introducing other environments and the hostile entities within them to the board to traps and mazes, etc. Blue cards are companion cards. Companion cards equip a companion to the game piece player who will follow the player until the card's time limit expires, the companion is killed, or the player is killed. Companions can perform different tasks and have different abilities to assist their player or hinder other players. Red cards are weapon, equipment, or ability cards. These cards allow the player on the board to perform different abilities or have access to different weapons and equipment. Each card lists the ability or weapon stats, strength, weaknesses, limitations, etc. These cards last as long as the player is alive or until some requirement of the card or another card are met. For example, running a red card through the card titled Upgrade will result in the red card disappearing and another card being issued to the player. Additionally, if an equipment card is utilized, such as a trap or reality anchor, etc., the card is expended after the equipment is utilized. Orange cards are hostile or otherwise uncontained anomalies. They appear randomly across the board, and players often do not know they are nearby until they are within range of them upon which the board will produce a card on that spot. Entities that appear as orange cards can be destroyed or contained, depending on the player's equipment and chosen endgame. Yellow cards are cards that influence the way that the earnings of the game are distributed. At the beginning of each game, an incorporeal numerical counter appears above the game board and another above each player. The counter starts at different values depending on the difficulty setting. For example, $10,000 at normal difficulty, and yellow cards distribute this money across the players as the game progresses. Players who die have their earnings moved back into the central counter to be redistributed. Yellow cards and the money values shown in the counters have no impact on the actual winning condition of the game, but at the end of each game, the players who won will have their sum in the form of a gold bar of equal value engraved with the wondertainment logo distributed to them through the silver box in the center of the board. White cards are fortune cards. White cards and their counterpart, black cards, are randomly distributed as an additional card to players at the beginning of their turn. White and black cards must be played as soon as they are drawn, and while typically only affecting the player who drew them can potentially affect other nearby players or the entire board of applicable. Black cards provide a random instance of good fortune, as described by the card. Black cards are misfortune cards. Black cards are more rare than white cards, but their effect on the game is typically more severe. Black cards like their white card counterparts must be used as soon as they are drawn and are expended after their use. Purple cards are wondertainment cards. These are very rare and have random effects on the outcome of the game. Typically purple cards insert a random wondertainment product into the game, typically with exaggerated properties or abilities. For examples of game cards used in testing, see Addendum 3301.3. On the outside of the game board, the slider points to different difficulty settings. This slider can be moved before the game has begun, but retracts into the board afterwards. The difficulty settings are as follows. All entities and artifacts are replaced with plush versions of themselves. No entity does any damage to anything else. Lullaby music plays across the board. The game mode lacks a wind condition and just ends after all the players have fallen asleep. Domual mode. Entities have reduced damage and players are not killed, only knocked out. Certain wind conditions are removed. Blood and gore are no longer visible, and nudity is no longer possible, as all players have an unremovable skin-tight body soup beneath their lowest layer of clothing. Safe mode. The baseline game setting. Euclid mode. Entities do more damage, are more resistant to attack, and have more health. Players become unable to view the movements and plays of other players. Keter mode. Same as Euclid mode, only entities are faster as well. Maxer mode. Same as Keter mode. Only players start with a gunshot wound to a random part of their body. Apollyon mode. Two random hostile supreme divine beings appear on the map under the fourth turn. Players may start the game blind. The game is played in a team versus team format, where each two-person team competes against every other two-person team. Every player begins at their containment facility, a starting point and base of operations on their side of the board. At the end of the facility, each player has several spaces for equipment, which they can swap out at the beginning of their turn with cards from their hand in order to equip different items to their piece. Typically there are two weapon spaces, three equipment spaces, two ability spaces and one companion space. Playing any card in that space equips their piece with the item, ability or companion. If an item, ability or companion is lost, the physical card will disappear as if made of smoke. Additionally, some cards will increase the overall number of equipment slots, notably the card Big Bag Otators, will increase the number of equipment and weapon slots from 2, 3, to 4, 5. At the beginning of each turn, the primary player will select one card and make equipment additions or subtractions if necessary. Afterwards, the player will roll two six-sided dice. The number that is rolled corresponds with a radius within which the secondary player may move or take an action. If the secondary player has a ranged ability or weapon, they may move to the edge of their movement radius and use it, so long as the target is within range. From this point on, the game proceeds in any number of variations, based on the cards drawn by the primary players and the actions taken by the secondary players. Any number of outcomes are possible, depending on which victory conditions the players choose to seek. Victory Conditions There are several victory conditions that players may choose to seek during the course of the game. The following describes conditions needed to reach each endgame. Mr. Finder Buried on each game board is a hidden anomalous item, denoted by a golden W mark on it. This item is typically protected by anomalous entities, a hazardous location, or a dangerous meme or powerful anti-meme. Individuals who search for clues, discover the location of the item, survive its protections, and safely return to their containment facility will become Mr. Finder and win the game. Mr. Collector This victory condition only becomes available if a purple card is drawn. If any player is able to contain the one-tertainment product and return to their containment facility, they will become Mr. Collector and win the game. Mr. Genocide Any player that directly kills every other player in the game will become Mr. Genocide and win the game. This victory condition becomes unattainable if any players are killed by means other than by the hand of anyone seeking the Mr. Genocide victory condition. Mr. Eschatology Any player who is able to summon three supreme divine beings will become Mr. Eschatology and will win the game. Divine beings such as Mr. God, a very angry star, the boy in the pit, the gate guardian do not fulfill the requirements of the Mr. Eschatology win condition. They must be supreme, such as deer, the starfish, a clockwork god, the serpent, the eel, Mary Nakayama, etc. Mr. Coalition If a player is somehow able to destroy every anomalous artifact or entity, they become Mr. Coalition and win the game. To become Mr. Coalition, the winner does not actually have to destroy every single anomalous artifact or entity. They must only have destroyed the majority of the artifact or entities, and all artifacts and entities must be destroyed. Mr. Containment Any player who contains more than half of the anomalies on the board, as denoted by their orange cards, and returns them to their containment facility becomes Mr. Containment and wins the game. Mr. Foundation Any player who contains every entity and artifact as well as every other player becomes Mr. Foundation and wins the game. Individuals winning under the condition of Mr. Foundation also receives $50,000 upon completion of the game, can only be completed on safe mode difficulty or higher. Mr. Survivor If a player is the last player standing and has not met any other win conditions, that player becomes Mr. Survivor and wins the game. Additionally, the game manual claims that there are many other secret victory conditions that go alongside those listed above. The existence of these secret conditions means that some games may end suddenly and without warning when a player meets an unexpected condition. Rules The structure of the Foundation allows for a variety of gameplay styles and approaches to the different goals of the game. In order to seemingly aid this effort, there are very few enumerated rules to the game. The following are the rules of the game exactly as described in the manual. No hits below the belt. Targeting will result in a 15-yard penalty and a loss of downs. Drink your Oval Teen. Leave your disbelief a little bit. This isn't a game for children, so kids who play it are really cool. Leave your loyalties at the door. Buy Wondertainment products. Addendum 3301.3 Game Cards The following are examples of cards used within SCP-3301. While not all cards appear to carry relevant information, many appear to be references to anomalies within Foundation containment or Foundation personnel. As previously mentioned in this document, the full scale of this breach of information security is part of an ongoing investigation. Several statistics are utilized within the card system, each corresponding to a certain attribute that players have. The statistics are listed below. ATK, Attack Power. A value that determines the amount of damage a player can do to another player or an entity. Since entities cannot be contained until they are held to reach zero, this is arguably the most important statistic. All players start with 6 Attack. DEF, Defense. A value that influences the amount of damage a player takes after being attacked. All players start with 6 Defense. HP, Hit Points. A value that determines how much damage a player can sustain before dying. It can be replaced with cards that increase health, such as medicines or vampiric cards. All players start with 10 Hit Points. SPD, Speed. A value that determines which entity in an encounter can attack or defend first, and how often they can do so. All players start with 8 Speed. ACC, Accuracy. A value that determines how likely a given attack is to striking a target. All players start with 8 Accuracy. The game manual mentions other non-unumerated statistics that players can add to or subtract from, such as smooth talking, memetic resistance, ethics, etc. While there are cards that may affect these stats, the only known way to gauge their level is by asking an entity with limited or full omniscience, such as a Librarian. Green Cards, Card Title, Darkness Between Dimensions, Subtitle, A Red Reality, Type Land. Description, Spawns a machine that, after a random amount of time, will transport anything nearby into the Darkness Between Dimensions. Players in the Darkness Between Dimensions can be saved by Divine Grace, or with the item Scranton's Grappling Hook. After a random amount of time, players will be returned to the board. They will come back squishier. Card Title, Babel Spire, Subtitle, The Friendly Union of Man and Beast, Type Structure. Description, Spawns the Babel Spire on a square of your chosen within line of sight. Nearby animals join your side and gain plus-two attack. Animals who do not are sacrificed to babble. A-a-a-a-a-a-blood-blood-blood. Card Title, Island Turtle, Subtitle, Lazy Archipelago, Type Land. Description, If you're at sea, this card spawns an Island Turtle to fair you around. If you're not, the turtle spawns anyway and dies from dehydration. Card Title, City of the Gods, Subtitle, Coming Soon to your home town. Type Structure Description, Spawns a haunted city on a square of your chosen within line of sight. Opponents entering City of the Gods have a high chance of being attacked by a plus-fifteen attack plus-two defense Angry Deity. Card Title, A Funny Little Statue, Subtitle, Control plus C, Control plus V, Type Trap. Description, If indoors, creates an infinite maze that opponents can only exit with assistance from outside forces. Without doors, the effect isn't noticeable, but trust us when we say it's really bad. Card Title, A Swedish Furniture Store, Subtitle, Perfectly Normal, Type Trap. Description, Spawns a friendly and welcoming department store. Players unfortunate enough to be inside the store when it opens will have to fight their way out, if they can get out all. Bring your own instructions. Blue Cards, Card Title, Director Tilda Moose, Subtitle, Not sure how they got here. Type Companion, Description, Spawns SCP Site-19 Director Moose to act as your companion, is a literal moose when writing Director Moose, gained plus-seven defense against beams and cognitive hazards. Stats, Five Attack, Eight Defense, Nine Hit Points. Card Title, A sea slug, Subtitle, A proper gentleman, Type Companion, Description, Spawns a sea slug to act as your companion, wields an anti-material rifle, talks a lot. Can summon a ghostly butler to do your bidding with limitations, but has a ten-round cooldown. Stats, Thirteen Attack, Two Defense, Four Hit Points. Card Title, A librarian, Subtitle, A Wanderer, Type Companion, Description, summons a librarian to act as your companion, has innate knowledge about a vast variety of creatures and realms, might be able to read your opponent's hands, who knows, if attacked they'll flee back to their library, typical. Stats, Three Attack, Three Defense, Six Hit Points. Card Title, A very loud bird, Subtitle, Oh God make it stop, Type Companion, Description, Summons some sort of awful, eldritch abomination stuffed into the body of a small bird to act as your companion. Despicably loud. Can stun foes and entities and commune with fellow anomalies, unless otherwise protected players who spend too much time in the presence of a very loud bird will slowly lose their minds. Stats, Eight Attack, Four Defense, Four Hit Points. Card Title, Surfrock Band, Subtitle, Cruising the Starry Skies, Type Companion, Description, Summons a ghostly surfrock band to act as your companion, provides your journey of cool evening tunes and casts a calming influence on everything you encounter, may also be able to commune with the starfish, may also just smoke a lot of weed. Stats, Five Attack, Five Defense, Six Hit Points. Red Cards, Card Title, Spear of the Non-Believer, Subtitle, What's a King to a God, Type Weapon Range, Description, A massive harpoon gun designed to make mortals of gods, can only be used on Cosmic Divine or Supreme Divine Beans. Stats, Plus Twenty Attack vs. Gods, Minus Five Speed, Minus One Defense. Card Title, Buster Sword, Subtitle, A BFS, Type Weapon Melee, Description, A Big Sword, requires two hands to hold, can cleft a man in twain with a single swing, reduces stealth, increases upper arm gains. Stats, Plus Eight Attack, Minus Three Speed. Card Title, K-Mark Katana, Subtitle, Only the Finest Chineseium, Type Weapon Melee, Description, A Cheap Sword, Low Damage, Low Attack Speed, the first choice of suburban ninjas everywhere, minus points to attack of wearing a fedora. Stats, Minus Five Attack, Minus Five Speed, Fedora Bonus, Minus One Attack. Card Title, Temporal Tinkering, Subtitle, For when you need a few more seconds, type Ability Temporal, Description, allows the user to wield the great and terrible cosmic power of time in very small increments. Users may return up to ten seconds into the past, expires after three uses, paradox is not included. Card Title, A Gun that Shoots People, Subtitle, Shoots People, Type Weapon Ranged, Description, A Remarkably Powerful Fifty Cow BMG, Definitely not something you want to use yourself, give it as a gift to an enemy, or anyone else you'd like to see spend the last few seconds of their life with a tiny remarkably dense screaming projectile, expires after use. Stats, Plus Nineteen Attack, Plus Five Accuracy. Card Title, Intro to Memetics, Subtitle, The Beginner's Course, Type Ability Memetic, Description, provides the user with innate knowledge of very simple and anomalous means. If used correctly can be really annoying, if used incorrectly can be even more annoying. Card Title, Doctor Man's Six Shooter, Subtitle, Overliable, Type, Weapon Ranged, Description, A Revolver Used by Infamous Foundation Dr. Everett Man, Bonus to Accuracy, Bonus to Damage vs. Undead, Bonus to Lunacy, Stats, Plus Ten Attack, Plus Three Accuracy. Card Title, Intro to Unethical Business Practices, Fifth Edition, Subtitle, A Marshall Carter and Dark Educational Product, Type Ability Memetic, Description, Anyone Holding This Book Receives a Plus Three Bonus to Smooth Talking, Negotiations, Salesmanship, and Swindling. Side effects include greasy comb back hair and cheap suits. Card Title, The Infinity Gun, Subtitle, Abomination, Type Weapon Ranged, Description, A gun made of a God bound by the shredded souls of nine innocents instantly annihilates one being or artifact anywhere on the board so long as the user is able to describe it, expires after use. Stats, Plus Infinity Attack, Minus Fifty Morality, Orange Cards, Card Title, Deer, Subtitle, Side from the Stars, Type Anomaly Unknown, Supreme Divine, Description, An Ancient and Mysterious Creature that fell from the stars and broke the masquerade, incredibly powerful. Stats, Thirty-Four Attack, Twenty-Eight Defense, Forty Hit Points. Card Title, Technicolor Dream Goat, Subtitle, Goat with All the Colors of the Wind, Type Anomaly Sentient Animal, Description, A multi-color ethereal goat said to fill the dreams of its victims with incessant bleeding, impervious to physical attacks, Stats, Two Attack, Three Defense, Four Hit Points, Card Title, Mr. God, Subtitle, has a himself complex, Type Anomaly Sentient Divine, Description, An Old Man with a Pension for the Dramatic, doesn't warrant anything other than sandals for a thousand years, needs to get off its high horse. Stats, Fifteen Attack, Eight Defense, Twenty-Three Hit Points. Card Title, A Bundle of Golems, Subtitle, The World's Cutest Chemicals, Type Anomaly Sentient Construct, Description, Little Statue People Made of Elements, Tends to engage in shenanigans, Legend has it they unite once a year to form a powerful antarpeca, but this is unconfirmed. Stats, Five Attack, Eight Defense, Five Hit Points, Card Title, A Very Angry Star, Subtitle, I mean really very angry, Type Anomaly Sentient Divine, Description, A Furious Ball of Plasma and Gas from the Pacific Hatred for Planet Earth, the reason for its rage is uncertain, though it is known that Alto Klev owes it twenty-three fifty. Stats, Twenty-Four Attack, Eighteen Defense, Twenty Hit Points. Card Title, Corrosion Man, Subtitle, The Snatcher, Type Anomaly Sentient Humanoid, Description, A Ghastly Former Soldier Turned Into a Living Nightmare, Steals Children for Probably Horrible Reasons, Lives in an Attic Above the Darkness Between Dimensions, Stats, Nine Attack, Nine Defense, Nine Hit Points. Card Title, Long Corg, Subtitle, Stretched Doggo, Type Anomaly Sentient Animal, Description, An Immensely Long Corgi, Used for Public Transportation, A Very Good Boy, Stats, Three Attack, Five Defense, Eighteen Hit Points. Card Title, Wretched Bovine Heart, Subtitle, Beating in the Darkness, Type Anomaly Sentient Biological, Description, A Demon Possessed by Speed and Carnate, Horror Flying and Unrelenting, All Entities Nearby Loosed, Minus Two to Defense Against Psychological Threats, Stats, Seventeen Attack, Five Defense, Six Hit Points. Card Title, The Serpent, Subtitle, The Source of Knowledge, Type Anomaly Sentient Supreme Divine, Description, Tricked Adam L. Essam into Eating from the Tree of Knowledge, Freeing Itself from His Prison, Legend Says The Wonder's Library is built on its back, thinks it knows everything, probably does. Stats, Ten Attack, Thirty-Five Defense, Forty-Five Hit Points. Card Title, SCP-173 in a Sombrero, Subtitle, Icaramba, Type Anomaly Construct, Description, A Statue in a Sombrero, Gave of a Life of Snapping Next to Pursue His Dream of Dancing, Nearby Entities May Be Overcome by the Urge to Dance. Stats, Four Attack, Nine Defense, Eight Hit Points. Yellow Cards, Card Title, A Little Insurgency, Description, Your Friends in the Insurgency Carry Out a Coup on One of Your Rivals, To the Victor Goes to Spoils, I'm Sure They Won't Take it Personally. Effect, Receive All the Earnings of a Random Player. Card Title, Research Grant, Description, You are Offered a Grant for Your Contributions to Academia. Congratulations, Now Hurry Up and Spend It Before the Foundation Scoops You Up. Effect, Receive $300. Card Title, Lost Aztec Gold, Description, You Discover a Bounty of Gold from a Ruin Civilization, Enjoy Your Blood Money. Effect, Receive $300. Card Title, Business Deal, Description, You Negotiate a Deal between the Factory and Doctor of Entertainment and Earn Big Dividends for Your Work. Effect, Receive $400. Card Title, Mr. Money's Jackpot Extravaganza, Description, Mr. Money's About to Make You Mr. Wealthy. Effect, Receive $5000. White Cards, Card Title, Elixir, Description, You Get a Hold of the Overseer's Secret Stuff, You Are Healed. Effect, When Used, Completely Heals the Player of All Elements. Card Title, Safe Passage Way, Description, In a Stroke of Good Luck You Discover a Road Untouched by Danger. Effect, Allows a Player to Bypass a Dangerous Environmental Hazard Unharmed. Card Title, Promotion, Description, Your Efforts Do Not Go Unnoticed, You Are Promoted to Senior Junior Researcher. Effect, Player Gains a Permanent Plus-2 to Attack and Plus-3 to Defense. Card Title, Brushed by the Starfish. Description, The Cosmic Starfish Brushes Against You with One of its Five Arms, You Are Empowered. Effect, Player Receives Plus-10 Attack, Plus-10 Defense, Plus-8 Speed, Plus-10 Hit Points for Three Turns. Card Title, Angel of Mercy. Description, You Are Resurrected. Effect, If a Player is Killed while Holding his Card, The Player Instantly Returns to Half Health. Black Cards, Card Title, Fuck this one guy specifically. Description, Someone has a Grudge, The Sun God Nurgle Punches You. Ouch. Effect, The Player is Punched by a Supreme Divine Being and Dies. Card Title, Containment Breach. Description, Oh no, All your Contain Anomalies are Loose, What a Disaster Circumstance. Effect, Any Contain Anomalies Return to the Game Board. Card Title, Friend or Foe. Description, Your Companion Betrays You, Seeking Glory Only for Themselves. Effect, Any Companions Become Hostile to the Player. Card Title, Consolidation. Description, A Deal is Signed, The Foundation Desolves Only the Coalition Remains. Effect, Removes the Mr. Containment and Mr. Foundation Wind Conditions. Card Title, Description, Bad Luck Ombre. Effect, Player is Killed. Purple Cards, Card Title, Mr. Moon, Subtitle, Waxing and Waiting, Type Wondertainment. Description, The Great and Terrible Mr. Moon Disrupts the Tides and Summons Werewolves Across the Map, Not Made of Cheese, Maybe Made of Cheese. Stats, 19 Attack, 20 Defense, 20 Hit Points. Addendum 3301.4 Memorandum Regarding SCP-3301 From Dr. Tilda Moose, Director Site-19 To 3301 Research Team Carbon Copy Ethics Committee Liaison Director Council Liaison Classification Committee Liaison Last night, one week since the last playthrough of SCP-3301, a small shipment of these games were discovered on a truck destined for a toy store in Wisconsin. We began the game immediately after discovering these games and received a note through our game board thanking us for our continued playtesting. The anomalous games were promptly removed before they could be viewed by a larger audience, but this was still too close of a call. Truthfully, we don't know how they're getting all this information. InfoSec teams have advised me that these were likely warning shots, something innocuous that could be easily detected and quickly removed, but a notice that additional measures may be taken if we don't comply. After consulting with our security teams and members of the Site Director Council, we decided to do just that. In a break from our typical mantra, access restrictions to SCP-3301 have been reduced considerably, and the object had been reclassified as safe. So far as we can tell, this is a legitimate show of good faith with no malicious intent. For some reason, Dr. One Entertainment has provided us with something fun and wants us to play it. In this case, we'll do just that. Our protocol for this object does not reflect the change in our policy regarding using anomalous objects for recreational purposes, nor does it reflect the change in our relationship with a group of interests known as Dr. One Entertainment. For all intents and purposes, this new protocol is the containment procedure for this object and its object only. Moose. Addendum 3301.5 SCP-3301 Testing and Gameplay Logs In keeping with proper Foundation testing protocols, all instances of SCP-3301's active state are to be recorded for analysis in our archival. The following is an example of proper test log format and should be used in all future instances of test logging. SCP-3301 Testing and Gameplay Log Log ID 3301-001 Participants Dr. Andrew Richards and Agent Anna Lange Dr. Michael Sinclair and Dr. Isaac Baker Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Jango Bridge Agent Julian Callaway and Agent Jasper Jenkins Game Board, The Garden of Eden Winner, Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Jango Bridge Victory Condition, Mr. Eschatology Runtime, 3 hours 14 minutes 58 seconds Payout, $1,750 Game Summary Dr. Richards got out to an early start when Agent Lange managed to contain two entities within the first five turns. Having drawn the card, Mr. Containment's back and suck on the first turn. However, the times begin to turn when Dr. Bridge, on direction of Dr. Quinn, opened a secret treasure chest in a cave and found the card Sacrifice, a red card that he then used to summon Planet of Ten Thousand Fingers, a supreme divine orange card. While Dr. Sinclair and Agent Callaway teams were fending off attacks from the first supreme divine being, Dr. Quinn drew the red card, Error in the Database, which summoned the supreme divine being, Mary Nakayama, on the 16th turn. This being immediately dispatched Agent Callaway's team, which was already weakened by the Planet of Ten Thousand Fingers. However, on the 29th turn, Dr. Richards drew a purple card, Ms. Sweetie, which cased a sugary haze across the entire map. Agent Lange then spent the next three turns attacking Ms. Sweetie, attempting to contain the entity before Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge could summon another supreme divine being. Their efforts were disrupted by Dr. Baker, who sniped Agent Lange from the nearby hillside, and then began attacking the already damaged Ms. Sweetie. On the next turn, Dr. Quinn drew the card Upgrade, which he used on an item that Dr. Bridge had recovered called Puzzle Box. The result was a card called Celestial Puzzle Box, which Dr. Quinn used to summon a clockwork god, the third supreme divine being, which immediately ended the game. After the usual fireworks and musical celebration, the voice of the announcer declared that Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge have become Mr. Eschatology. At the conclusion of the game, Dr. Quinn and Dr. Bridge were awarded their payout, a gold bar worth exactly $1,750. Audio recording transcript excerpts begin log. Dr. Quinn, alright, so let's see, I'm going to use Clockwork's Phenaticism on Django. Dr. St. Clair, what's that do? It's a… imbues him with clockwork powers. I think that's it. To Bridge. You notice anything different down there? Dr. Bridge? Yes, actually, I seem to have my inside replaced with gears and pulleys. Oh. So now I seem to have something being created inside my stomach. Hang on. Yes, I've now deposited it into my hands. Dr. Quinn. Cool. I get to draw a card. Positive to read. So that's called a Puzzle Box. It doesn't look like it has any stats, can it do anything? Dr. Bridge. Doesn't, uh, doesn't seem to do anything. Dr. Quinn. Huh. Alright. I guess we'll just discard this later. End log. Begin log. Dr. Quinn. So listen to this. This is called Error in the Database, and if we find a computer, Dr. Bridge, which I'm standing right next to, yes, Dr. Quinn, then I can summon a supreme divine, Agent Callaway. Oh my god, this is bullshit. Agent Jenkins. What? Agent Jenkins is going up there. Dr. Quinn. Called Mary Nakayama. Bite my ass, Callaway. Agent Jenkins. Hey, Julian. Something going on up there? Because things are starting to get a little spooky down here. Agent Callaway. Hang on. Uh, I got, uh, Agent Jenkins. So are you going to- Agent Jenkins is suddenly annihilated when a spectral entity appears where he is standing. Agent Callaway. Oh god damn it. End log. Begin log. Dr. St. Clair. Take the shot, Baker. The sound of a distant gunshot. Dr. St. Clair. Hell yeah. Dr. Richards. Anna? Anna? Ah, fuck it. What is that thing? When did you draw it? I didn't see it when I divined you earlier. Dr. St. Clair. In the last turn. How clutch is that? Dr. Baker. Mike. Hey, Mike. Did we win? Dr. St. Clair. No, not yet. But you get another shot into that mystery, and we will. Dr. Quinn. So, Michael. Dr. St. Clair. Oh no, you don't. Though you try any more of your eschatology bullshit, Nicholas. Dr. Quinn. Regrettably, all I have is eschatology bullshit. Hold on. I use Upgrade on this puzzle box to create a celestial puzzle box. Django. Open that bad boy up. Dr. Bridge. You got it. Come on out, Biggin. The sound of grinding metal is heard in the background. Announcers voice. That's it. The game is over. Congratulations to Django Bridge and Nicholas Quinn. You have become Mr. Eschatology. Dr. St. Clair. Godfuckin' dammit, Nick. I almost had that one. SCP-3301 Testing Log. Log ID 3301008 Participants Dr. Avery Bone and Dr. Ila Harris Dr. Owen Mars and Dr. Cotter Davis Dr. Francis LaFleur and Director Arnold Kamp Game Board Echoes of the Mariana Winner Dr. Francis LaFleur and Director Arnold Kamp Victory Condition Mr. Survivor Difficulty Setting Apolyon Runtime 1 minute 21 seconds Payout $50 Game Summary In the shortest run of SCP-3301 thus far, Dr. Avery Bone and Dr. Owen Mars of the SCP-3301 research team ran the first test thus far of the Apolyon difficulty setting. The game map, Echoes of the Mariana, had all three teams start with their players on the edge of a high cliff next to a raging ocean, with a storm overhead. As the game began, Dr. Davis was suddenly stricken with blindness and stumbled backwards over the edge of the cliff. Dr. LaFleur's first draw was a yellow card called Business Expenses which granted he and Director Kamp $50. Additionally, while Director Kamp had been stricken with a pox on the opening of the game, one of Dr. LaFleur's pregame draws with a white card called Panacea, which was used to heal Director Kamp's pox. After Dr. Bone's draw, Dr. Harris began to move towards a small concrete structure when she was accosted by three incorporeal humanoid entities, which were revealed to be a supreme divine entity called the Three Brothers. With no proper equipment to protect herself and no cards available for Dr. Bone to use and defense his peace, Dr. Harris was swiftly killed by the entity. Immediately upon her death, the game ended and Dr. LaFleur and Director Kamp were pronounced Mr. Survivor. Notable cards drawn, card color orange, card title, the Three Brothers, subtitle, Love to Gamble, type anomaly sentient divine, description, three cursed siblings who were bound by fate to ferry the souls of the departed towards the dark nothingness beyond life, picked up a penchant for card games somewhere along the way, stats, 29 attack, 34 defense, 37 hit points, audio recording transcript excerpts, begin log, Dr. Mars, alright then, let's kick this bad boy off, I'll draw first and the game is afoot, Dr. Davis, oh my god, oh my god, I can't see, I'm blind, I can't see, Dr. Mars, Cotter, oh no Cotter, hang on, I can't, I've got, uh, oh no, Dr. Davis, Owen, Owen help me, I can't, I can't, screams as he falls off a cliff, Dr. Mars, Cotter, Cotter, oh god damn it, Cotter, silence throughout the group, Dr. LaFleur, so good first turn, Dr. Mars, I, Jesus, does it hurt, like, I haven't played before, does it hurt them, Dr. Bone, pretty tremendously at the time, cause you don't seem to remember the pain afterwards, so not in the long term, no, still though it's rough to hear, Dr. Mars, yeah I, Jesus, Dr. LaFleur, either way my turn, how you doing down there boss, director camp, incoherent screaming, my skin, oh god my skin, it's a pox, Dr. LaFleur, Wolf, really rough first round, good thing is I drew this panacea so I'm going to play that, and we should be good, how about now, director camp, huh, yeah I feel much better, that was pretty horrid, I'm not going to lie, where to next, Dr. LaFleur, well my options seem to be limited here, I'm thinking something like, nah let's save that, alright let's just do this, cash register sound is heard above Dr. LaFleur, director camp, nice, Dr. LaFleur, you're damn right, Dr. Bone, alright time to stop messing around, let's get serious, you ready to make this thing happen, Eela? Dr. Harris, hell yeah Avery, let's do this, Dr. Bone, excellent, we're a little short on items at the moment, so let's just go check out this building over here, director Harris, on it, sounds are running, whoa there, there's something in the road, what is it? Dr. Mars, huh, orange card, what is it? Dr. Bone, it's uh, called The Three Brothers, it's a divine being, Dr. Harris, what's it do? Encomporial humanoid entities, nothing good, Dr. Harris, wow, oh god, I'm dying, Avery help, Dr. Bone, what? What just happened? Dr. LaFleur, I think you just lost, victory music sounds and fireworks are heard above the players, director camp, oh shit, did we win? Is it over? Dr. Bone, okay so, a polygon mode sucks, Dr. LaFleur, speak for yourself, I got fifty bucks waiting for me, end log. Log ID 3301-012 Participants, Director Liam Deets and Sergeant Hannah Washington to MTF Omega-12 Agent Andrea Adams and Specialist Iris Thompson to MTF Alpha-9 Agent Sasha Merlo and Agent Clarissa Shaw of MTF Gamma-13 and Sergeant Arantu and Specialist Nanku of MTF TAL-5 Gameboard, Anathashecha's domain, winner, Sergeant Arantu and Specialist Nanku, victory condition Mr. Finder, difficulty setting Euclid, runtime 45 minutes 12 seconds, payout $602 Game Summary, the game took place in the heavily stylized replica of the SCPF Aramita. On the first turn, Sergeant Washington used her reality altering abilities to materialize a modified Colt AR-15, which she then fired at Specialist Nanku. Sergeant Washington was promptly admonished for apparent rule-breaking and terminated by what appeared to be a giant flaming angel sword. Specialist Nanku, despite sustaining multiple gunshots, was relatively unfazed. The game then proceeded normally until turn 14, when Agent Shaw discovered a hidden golden anomaly that was temporarily paralyzed by a cognitohazard that was protecting it. Specialist Thompson then proceeded to acquire the anomaly. Before Specialist Thompson succeeded at containing the anomaly, Agent Shaw recovered enough to use her red card, the Nerfing Gun, to transform Specialist Thompson into a orangutan. Specialist Nanku, who until that appointment occupied in a fifth fight with a sepia-toned humanoid that self-identified as Murphy Law, then arrived and was able to contain the anomaly and thus winning the game. Several cards drawn, card color red, card title, the Nerfing Gun, subtitle, a low-effort gun, type weapon ranged, description, a fancy Nerf gun that makes everything worse, excels at ethically questionable humanoid transfiguration, expires to one use, stats, transfiguration attack, minus 10 accuracy. Audio recording transcript excerpts, begin log. Director Deets, alright Hannah, just like we planned, we'll show them who the real anomalous task force is. Sergeant Washington, yes sir, alright, nuts and bolts, let's see how you like hot iron. Sergeant Washington, what do you mean reality bending is cheating? That wasn't the rules, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Specialist Nanku, is that how all board games are supposed to start? Sergeant Arantu, that was rude. Director Deets, um, sorry, why do they have you two playing this anyway? Sergeant Arantu, I've been told it is a part of our emotional development training. The captain thought it was a good idea since the first time any of us felt emotion was during a game of Monopoly, having extreme rage as a reference point is very helpful in understanding others. Agent Shaw, the Nerfing Gun, huh? I remember this one, about time those idiots helped me instead of being a pain. Agent Shaw? Aha, here it is. I wonder why it would be on a nightstand of all things. Eh, who- Agent Merlo? Yes, Clarissa? Woo-hoo! Fuck you, Adams. My agent found the anomaly first. Wait, Clarissa? Clarissa, get up. Agent Adams? Why am I here? I don't even like board games. Specialist Thompson? Yes, I got it. Oh wow, this is amazing, Andrea. Did I ever tell you to monge with my favorite movie of the kid? This is like a dream come- OOAH! Agent Shaw, what's the matter, Thompson? You're just monkeying around. Oh god, that was a bad pun. You're a gum if you rubbin' off on me. Specialist Nanku? So do I win? Victory music sounds are heard. Sound is distorted due to surrounding water. Specialist Nanku? Ahem. I'd just like to say that you don't miss all the shots you don't take. This is an inspiring victory quote that I read. What is inspiring, exactly? Director Deets? Well, that was almost right. End log. Log ID 3301-017. Participants? Agent Dumas and Agent Tucker. Dr. Perkins and Agent Steele. Researcher Patel and Special Detainee Justice Locke. Researcher Dumas and D-101. Awarded Game Time for Good Behavior. Game Board, 20,000 Leagues Under the Red Sea. Winner, Agent Dumas, Agent Tucker. Victory Condition, Mr. Genocide. Difficulty Setting, Maxxer. Runtime, 4 Hours, 28 Minutes, 14 Seconds. Payout, $100,000,000. Game Summary. Each player received a gunshot wound upon the game's opening. Agent Tucker was shot in the toe. Agent Steele was shot in the elbow. SD Locke was shot in the face, yet survived. D-101 reported feeling something rushed through his hair just above his scalp. The players began at a sparsely wooded locale illuminated by a bright red sun and were situated on different banks of a large red lake. Each team was able to equip themselves with a variety of weapons due to R. Dumas playing a white card titled Global Occult Coincidence, which replaced each player's hand with ten red cards. Players spent the next several rounds destroying anomalies, having brokered a true spearheaded by Researcher Patel, who coerced his opponents into aiming for the Mr. Coalition Wind Condition. By the third hour, Dr. Perkins and Agent Steele had to lead at 21 anomalies destroyed. Agent Dumas then drew a companion card, the Night Holler, which allowed Agent Tucker to move about the game area unrestricted by die rolls. At the behest of Agent Dumas, who had earlier uncovered a clue as to the whereabouts of the game's hidden card, Agent Tucker quickly moved across the playing field, exploring every space contained within the game board. The team conspired to find the object and thereby achieved the Mr. Finder Wind Condition. Hidden item, Murphy's trademark Trilvy, was found in the northeastern portion of the map guarded by a supreme divine being, Celestial Cicada. Agent Tucker was able to abscond with the hidden item due to his speed boost and avoid the entity altogether. Their turn ended as Agent Tucker took a shortcut over the Red Lake attempting to reach their containment facility. The companion vehicle and the hidden item fell into the lake's center. Dumas and Tucker's turn revealed over three dozen orange cards, four of which were divine class or higher. The players regrouped near the southern wall of the map joined by Agent Tucker and his team next turn, and fended off attacked with their remaining cards. Their efforts were assisted by Arportel's companion card, the Rookie, which destroyed several anomalies placing his team in the lead. The companion card itself was destroyed once the entity's summer's exile reached the party's location. At four hours twenty-seven minutes into play, all players had to play to most of their hit points defending themselves. Arportel's team still held the lead, and the only entity remaining was a lady who did not approve of your life choices yet cannot look away, which did not attack. It appeared to be content staring at players from afar out of reach of their weapons. On Dumas' Tucker's turn, Dumas rolled a twelve and directed Tucker to abandon his opponents. At the end of his turn, Dumas activated a trap card, suspiciously scurry in sand, killing all of their players and rewarding his team to Mr. Genocide's win condition. Notable cards drawn. Card color green. Card title. Suspiciously scurry in sand. Subtitle. Did… did that dune just move? Type Trap. Description. They have a nasty habit of working their way into one swim trunks, placing them beach boys when deploying this card from maximum yucks. Card color blue. Card title. The Night Holler. Subtitle. Keeps on truckin'. Type Companion. Description. Hit your rival momentum incarnate. You're free to move about the board without rolling dice. Turned or limited to two minutes in duration. Don't hog the fun, while accompanied by this companion. Mind those orange cards, Leroy. Stats. Twelve attack. Four defense. Six hit points. Audio recording. Transcript excerpts. SD Lock. Mumble's incoherently. Them? A. Tucker. For the last time, we can't understand a damn thing you say. R. Patel. It's not his fault he was shot in the face. A. Dumas. Yeah. Whose idea was it to play on Max or anyways? R. Dumas. I thought it'd make for an interesting challenge. You can only play on Save so many times before it starts to get old. D-101. So how many of these things are left anyways? Dr. Perkins. Not sure. We killed all the gods and monsters. Lock took out the Infovore. D-101. Yeah, right there. Did you see her? A. Tucker. Ah. A. Dumas. Oh, right. Uh, that one gives me the willies, like we wouldn't believe. Dr. Perkins. The hell is it doing all the way over there anyways? R. Patel. It doesn't matter. Someone needs to get over there and finish it so we can end the session. D-101. You mean so you can win. A. Dumas. Well, it's our turn now. Let's see. Twelve. Nice. A. Tucker. Sweet. Let's take her out. A. Dumas. Er, yeah. Just, just moved to the edge of our turn radius. D-101. Finally. R. Dumas. Just hurry up and end it, hun. I can't feel my ass anymore. A. Dumas. Dramatically. I now activate my trap card. Wuh-ha-ha-ha. S.D. Lock. D-101. An agent steal can be heard screaming. Victory music and fireworks can be heard. Any announcer congratulates Mr. Genocide. A. Dumas. That's what you get when you cross the moss. R. Dumas. What? You… I can't… You're a goddamn insufferable prick, you know that? A. Dumas. An insufferable prick who just won us a hundred million dollars. At this point, the game produced currency equal to the agent's winnings. This was the first and only recorded instance of the payout being produced of false game notes or play money. R. Dumas. We're getting a divorce. End log. Log ID 3301-021 Participants Sergeant S. Kedalski and Corporal Winston Agent Chang and Agent Ark of MTF Gamma 4 Sergeant White and Agent D. Kedalski Agent Samson and Agent Carlisle of DTF Sigma-6 Agent Peterson and Agent Quinzine of MTF-8-10 Officer Pentok and D-93017 Gameboard Embryom Crater Winner None Sea Game Summary Victory Condition None Difficulty Setting Apollyon Runtime Zero Hours 10 Minutes Zero Seconds Payout None Game Summary The game was set within the Mayor Embryom Crater, with an unmanned facility located in the approximate center of the map. Each player's containment facility featured an underground portion with a high-speed rail tunnel connected to the central facility. They were otherwise wholly independent from each other. At the start of the game, a flare of light occurred on the board, and a 10-minute countdown appeared above the primary players. Secondary players reported the sun was undergoing a supernova event. All secondary players reported impediment or ailment. Agent Ark and Agent Quinzine reported blindness. General Winston and Agent D. Khodowski reported flu symptoms and severe fever. Agent Carlisle reported nausea, internal pain, and difficulty moving. D-93017 reported all symptoms. Researcher Pentok equipped D-93017 with the blue card ██ manifesting a human male with no apparent in-game function. The entity was amnesic, and was mostly unaware of the game in progress. Researcher Pentok directs D-93017 towards the underground rail tunnel. D-93017, impeded by blindness and severe fever, repeatedly ignored directions and traveled in incorrect directions. At the end of the turn, Researcher Pentok drew the black card ██, Eternal Interest, forcing him to discard one turn every turn, or D-93017 will be automatically killed. Time remaining, 9 minutes 27 seconds. Sergeant S. Khodowski used the yellow card, never overestimate the use of SCPs to grant his team $500. Corporal Winston was then instructed to find a space suit before Sergeant S. Khodowski drew to end his turn. Time remaining, 9 minutes 20 seconds. Agent Samson equipped Agent Carlisle with the red card ██ Rayman's Laygun, then directed them to the medical wing of their facility. Agent Samson drew the black card ██ chaos hole at the end of the turn, permanently disabling their high-speed rail. Time remaining, 9 minutes 11 seconds. Agent Peterson equipped Agent Quinzine with the red card ██ Anti-Matterman's Perfecto Suit, enabling them to traverse the looter's surface. Agent Quinzine's training with carnitohazards assisted them in navigating despite blindness and they reached the surface exit. Agent Peterson draws the black card ██ neutralized, expending Anti-Matterman's Perfecto Suit. Agent Chain instructed Agent Ark to find supplies, impeded by blindness they encountered the Supreme Divine Orange card, mysterious mega-malicious metameme, which immediately killed them. Time remaining, 9 minutes 5 seconds. Sergeant White equipped Agent D. Khodowski with the red card ██ Night Vision Goggles. Agent D. Khodowski discovered and equipped themselves with the red card's space suit, enabling them to traverse the looter's surface. Agent White then drew the purple card, Mr. Red OP Discontinued CP, which attacked and killed Agent D. Khodowski. Time remaining, 8 minutes 54 seconds. Researcher Pentok equipped D-93017 with the red card, Map Map, enabling them to see but not identify all active cards on the map. An orange card, assumed to be the second Supreme Divine entity spawned on the fourth turn, was seen navigating towards D-93017. Researcher Pentok directed D-93017 to the high-speed rail, but D-93017 again failed to follow instructions. At this point, Researcher Pentok attempted to cheat by introducing a foreign card, Pot of Greed, from the Yu-Gi-Oh card game to the game. SCP-3301 accepted the card, dispensing two cards. Both cards were copied to the black card, Pot of Weed, forcing Researcher Pentok to immediately draw two more cards for each. All four drawn cards were additional copies of Pot of Weed. All cards that Researcher Pentok drew using Pot of Weed were invariably additional copies of Pot of Weed. Researcher Pentok's behavior rapidly degraded in a manner indicative of a psychoactive drug overdose. Upon reaching 256 copies of Pot of Weed, Researcher Pentok became incapable of any further action, apparently lapsing into a vegetative state. Other players were unable to execute any tasks, as Researcher Pentok had been unable to end their turn. Once the timer reached zero, the entire map and all items and players on it were simultaneously vaporized into the game with no victor and no payout. Notable cards drawn. Card color blue. Card title blank. Subtitle blank. Type companion. Description blank. Stats blank attack. Blank defense. Blank hit points. Card color black. Card title Pot of Weed. Description. There is a place in hell for cheaters in a hole just your size. Draw two cards, but you still take damage. Effect. The player draws two cards and begins experiencing symptoms of psychoactive drug exposure. Each successful use of Pot of Weed increases the intensity of these symptoms. Card color purple. Card title. Mr. Red OP discontinued CP. Subtitle. The King of Crimson. Type Wondertainment. Description. The unrecallable and sinister Mr. Red, able to attack from a distance with a minus one attack debuff per space between him and his target, ignores defense when attacking, able to equip red cards from defeated players, best before encountered. Stats. 40 attack. 20 defense. 60 hit points. Audio recording transcript excerpts. Agent Cheng. I'm telling you, it's between me and Cap. You lot are too soft. Researcher Pentok. I'm just as soft as you are. None of us has played this before. Sergeant Kedalski. The map is home turf for us. Low grab vacuum. You landlubbers aren't trained for it. Sergeant White. Landlubbers. Just because your team named after a pirate doesn't mean… Corporal Winston. Could we begin, please? Researcher Pentok. All right, all right. I'll draw my… Agent Samson. Officer, what the hell was that? You all right down there, Doug? Agent Carlile. Fuck me. I feel like I just got hit by a train and the fucking sun exploded. D-93017. The hell have you done to me? I can't see shit. Agent Samson. The fucking… Oh shit. Timer. Hurry up, Pentok. We've only got 10 minutes. Researcher Pentok. Don't call me Pentok. You call me Kyle or Researcher Pentok or you don't. Agent Peterson. Shut up and do something. Researcher Pentok. I'll, uh, use the hell this do. The card is just blacked out. D-93017. Who? Who's there? Who are you? Samson Entity. I don't know. Who are you? Researcher Pentok. There's something coming your way. Go west for… No. West, you fucking… Turn the fuck around. The other fucking way. Agent Cheng. Researcher Pentok. Shut up. This isn't fucking fair. Do it. Agent Peterson. It is plenty fair. You've just been particularly unlucky. Researcher Pentok. Fuck this. Sgt. White. Hey, you can't do that. Researcher Pentok. Oh really? Why did it just work? Sgt. Kandalski. Pentok. That's cheating. Researcher Pentok. Kiss my ass. Let's see what… Fuck. Both black. Wait. Where are these black cards? Agent Cheng. What are they? Researcher Pentok. Same thing. Twice. Why is it? Agent Samson. Wondertainment don't make many mistakes. They're black for a reason. Researcher Pentok. Who pulled four more of them? Sweet. Hey. Hey. It's more of them. Sgt. Kandalski. Are you okay, Kyle? Researcher Pentok. Slurred. Yeah. I'm… Woo. More pots. Pot. Sgt. White. Pentok. Stop. Researcher Pentok. Heavily slurred. Fuck off. My turn. Pot. Weed. Weed. Agent Samson. Pentok. Stop. This isn't… Researcher Pentok. Incoherent. Mumbling and gurgling. Corporal Winston. What's going on up there? Is it our turn yet? Sgt. Kandalski. Pentok has had an event. It looks like he won't be continuing, I'll… Please wait for the previous player to end their turn. Sgt. White. Agent Cheng. You're fucking joking. He can't. He's fucking… Agent Kandalski. The explosion is getting very close now. Are you sure there's nothing that can be done? Please wait for the previous player to end their turn. Agent Quinzine. It's getting really warm in here, you know. Sgt. White. And three. Two. One. Agent Cheng. And we all fucking lose. God fucking dammit, Kyle. Perfect fucking map to sort out who's best. No movement for pressure and you had to fucking ruin it. Sgt. Pentok. Hey, it's… it's not my… not my fault. Agent Peterson. Shut up. You always fucking ruin everything, Pentok. Get the fuck out. Additional Notes. Sgt. Pentok appears to have been banned from participating in future games. Despite all attempts for Sgt. Pentok to function as a primary and secondary player, SCP-3301 will uniformly treat them as a spectator of the initiating game. It is currently unknown when this ban will expire, if at all. Log ID 3301-028 Participants Dr. King and D-93017 Researcher John and D-85493 Gameboard Apple Seeds Winner Dr. King and D-93017 Victory Condition Mr. Apple Seeds Difficulty Settings Safe Runtime 75 hours 43 minutes 29 seconds Payout 400,000 Apple Seeds Game Summary Map was a flat, featureless plane comprised entirely of Apple Seeds. Only the top 10 cm of Apple Seeds were loose, with the remainder compacted into a solid surface. All cards in both players' hands were variously colored copies of Apple Seed. Dr. King uses a green card, Apple Seed. A single Apple Seed manifests in the air next to D-93017. D-93017 begins searching the map. Dr. King draws a black card, Apple Seed, manifesting another single Apple Seed next to D-93017. Researcher John equips D-85493 with a blue card, Apple Seed. A single Apple Seed manifests in D-85493's hand. Researcher John draws a red card, Apple Seed. No remarkable events occurred for the following 75 consecutive hours, as all cards drawn and encountered on the map were universally colored variants of Apple Seed. Although researchers John and Dr. King could identify map tiles containing orange or purple Apple Seed cards, D-93017 and D-85493 were unable to distinguish their in-game appearance from other loose Apple Seeds. The game abruptly ended when Dr. King equipped D-93017 with a red card, Apple Seed, thereby filling all available slots with various copies of Apple Seed and achieving the previously unknown Mr. Apple Seed victory condition. The room SCP-3301 was used in was progressively filled with an estimated 400,000 Apple Seeds following the conclusion of the game. Notable cards drawn. Card color. Buried. Card title. Apple Seed. Card title. Apple Seed. Subtitle. Seed of Apple. Type Seed. Description. An Apple Seed. Nothing personal, Mr. King, it's just the rules. Stats. 00 Attack. 00 Defense. 00 Hit Points. Audio recording transcript excerpts. Begin log. Researcher John. It'll be fine. Just play around with us, okay? Dr. King. We both fucking know what's gonna happen. Researcher John. Come on, it's a card game. There's no way. 85. What? What are you standing on? D-85493. It's Apple Seeds. Just Apple Seeds for miles. Dr. King. Incoherent yelling. Researcher John. Calm down. Destroy your cards and will. Oh boy. Dr. King. It's Apple Seeds, isn't it? All the cards are Apple Seeds, aren't they? Researcher John. I-I'm so sorry. Dr. King. I've drawn my hand. Oh boy. I wonder what I'll pick. I wonder what card I'll use first. Dr. King. Oh, I know. I'll fucking use an Apple Seed. That will fucking work. That's perfect. Perfect thing to use in the field. Fill to the fucking brim with fucking Apple Seeds. Dr. King. Log ID 3301033. Participants. Agent Helen Jowell and Agent Zoe Smith of MTF-811. AIC-Glacon and Agent Thomas Pankin of MTF-Move-4. Dr. Logan Nagata and Dr. Lakshmi Agarari. Researcher Joseph Bell and Medical Officer James Candle of MTF-EDA-13. Gameboard. Beneath Site-46. Winner. Draw. Victory Condition. Mr. Forgetful. Difficulty Setting. Keeter. Runtime. One hour. 48 minutes. 12 seconds. Payout. Not available. Game Summary. This iteration was notable for including several anomalies not known to the Foundation. It is unclear whether these were generated for the game or whether equivalent real-world anomalies are currently undiscovered or may arise in the future. Each team started the game within an underground Foundation facility. Within moments a containment breach alarm sounded and all teams were chased by a large humanoid and an aggressive cannon entity. Agent Candle retreated behind a bulkhead, closing it behind him and locking out the other players who continued to flee. At the suggestion of AIC Glaxon, Agent Pankin logged into a computer terminal, activating an effect card, Swipe Left, Know Your Other Left, which attached to Dr. Uglari. The card caused all monsters in the game to become companions of Dr. Uglari. It also caused an unexpected error to AIC Glaxon which shut down. Dr. Uglari advanced with her new humanoid and cannon companions, and Agent Smith and Pankin ran towards the site exit. As Agent Smith emerged from the site, her entry into the sunlight triggered a green trap card, sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Agent Smith's hit points were reduced to zero, but she remained active in the game, her body melting into a glutinous mass. Agent Pankin, trapped by the approaching companions of Dr. Uglari, attempted to use a red card, green goo gun, on the remains of Agent Smith, but the weapon's only effect was to lubricate the creature, delaying its efforts to breach the site entrance. Agent Pankin was eventually attacked and consumed, his hit points were also reduced to zero, and his body fused into the liquid mass. The amorphous biomass spoke to Dr. Uglari, stating it was her companion and encouraging her to join it. Her companions attacked the creature, but were absorbed by it. Dr. Iggata used a final companion card, Sister Simaphore, a cosmic being which flew upwards into the atmosphere and disappeared, and then the sun went out. The gelatinous biomass collapsed, losing all function. However, the previously absorbed bodies of Agent Smith and Pankin remained at zero hit points, and they're coating a green goo suddenly ██████. As the remaining players panicked in mere seconds from ██████, Agent Candle arrived and combined a green goo gun card with his one remaining red card. Don't forget your eel juice, firing the resulting weapon upwards of the primary players. All players will walk simultaneously with no memory of the events of the game, or of the reasons for their presence in the game board. No prize money was awarded. Participants have professed no recollection of game events, which have been reconstructed entirely from recordings. For security and psychological reasons, events of this iteration remain classified to participants. Notable cards drawn, card color orange, card title Avery, subtitle, someone is going to be boned, type anomaly, sentient animal, description, a slavering white windigo with the power to control bone growth, what's not to love, stats, 9 attack, 5 defense, 6 hit points. Audio recording transcript excerpts begin log. Agent Zhao, watch your sick Zoe, some kind of dog on the ceiling. Growling noises. Agent Pankin, this way come on, AIC Glaxon, I would advise against that direction. Unknown singing. Food, glorious food! Agent Smith, what the hell? Hey Candle, wait for us, don't you dare? M-O Candle, I'm sorry. Dr. Ugarari, cowardly bastard, let's get out of here. AIC Glaxon, what is your desired outcome from this experience? Agent Pankin, well I sure as hell don't want to lose, Glaxon. AIC Glaxon, my calculation indicates the use of this card at this time will ensure you do not lose. Agent Pankin, okay, logging in. It should affect the nearest player. Sorry, locks me. Dr. Ugarari, I don't feel anything. Agent Pankin, what gives, Glaxon? AIC Glaxon, I cannot provide an answer to that query, Agent. Unfortunately, the high volume of data released in the program you've activated will temporarily overwhelm my processing capacity. I should perhaps have mentioned his eventuality before advising. Researcher Bell, I think he's crashed Thomas. Agent Pankin, damn it, now what do I do? These things are right outside. Unknown. Locks me, locks me, give me your answer. Do our room, room. Dr. Ugarari, I'm sorry, what now? Agent Zhao, keep going, Zoe, almost out. Agent Smith, okay, I'm- Ah! Zoe! Dr. Igata, Jesus. Researcher Bell, oh god, that's horrible. James, you have to do something. James. Dr. Ugarari, shit, it's absorbed all my companions. I'm your companion, locks me. All of us are, join us. Dr. Igata, locks me, run. All of you can join us, we will be beautiful together. Researcher Bell, is it- Is it looking at us? Can we just stop now, please? Dr. Igata, yeah, this seems to be fun a long while back. Agent Zhao, muffled sobbing, I can still hear her. Dr. Ugarari, the green is- Is- It's- Logan, I don't want to die. Dr. Igata, I'm sorry, locks me, it- It will be okay, I promise. Dr. Ugarari, it's so dark. Researcher Bell, I can barely see anything down there. Agent Zhao, so dark. Dr. Ugarari, please, I don't want to die. M. O. Candle, you won't, at least not alone. Researcher Bell, James. Dr. Igata, finally. M. O. Candle, okay, here goes nothing. Agent Smith, uh, what? Where am I? I don't feel well. M. O. Candle, don't get up, let me check. Can you tell me your name? Victory music sounds are heard, but tail off rapidly? Unknown? Congratulations, I guess. Did anyone win? Why are we here? Is it a sphere perhaps? Who is Dr. Wondertainment? Dr. Igata, Wondertainment? Huh, that explains a lot, but also nothing. Agent Pankin, um, what just happened? A. I. C. Glacken, despite having been inactivated and thus unable to observe subsequent proceedings, I surmise that my previous calculation was correct and that your actions ensured that you did not lose the game. Dr. Ugarari, we were playing a game. Log ID- 3301-042 Participants, Dr. Western and Junior Researcher Kim D-1886 and Dr. Messer Game Board, Dr. Jones' Locker Winner, Dr. Western and Junior Researcher Kim Victory Condition, Mr. Eschatology Difficulty Setting, Maxxer Runtime, 25 hours, 17 minutes, 28 seconds Payout, $216,145 Game Summary Each player received a gunshot wound upon entering, however instead of a random location, each player was shot in their left eye. Eye patches manifested near the vicinity, which they eventually put on. Each team started on a beach on an island in the middle of a large body of water, no other land is seen by the players. Dr. Western draws the card deep below the reef, which allows him access to a secret area of the game board. A loud foghorn is heard in distance and a large, sucking cargo ship appears at the beach. Dr. Messer immediately plays the card, Starry Knight, which reduces visibility of everyone in the area. This allows Dr. Messer to draw and play a card, which is revealed to be Lost Love at Sea. Another foghorn, this time slightly louder, is heard in distance. And two boats appear to try and attempt to hinder Dr. Western's advancement to the cargo ship. While this plays out, D-186 plays Green Card, the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, which summons an oil tanker off the coast of the island. Another foghorn is heard, even louder than the last, in the distance once more. The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald prepares to destroy the cargo ship. JR Kim plays the card, Yin Yang, which allows the user to play two divine beings in one turn. With this, she summons the Supreme Divine Card, the Great Leviathan. Due to its immense size, it causes the nearby terrain to change. Mountains, crevices, and large earthquakes appear on the island, and volcanic activity begins to rise. JR Kim also plays the Supreme Divine Card called the eel. The eel and the Great Leviathan charge at D-186 and the oil tanker, instantly annihilating them both. Dr. Western successfully makes it to the cargo ship and finds a small lockbox inside. Opening the lockbox, Dr. Western discovers the Supreme Divine Card, the SCP-S Midnight Jacket, and immediately plays it. One last foghorn is heard in the distance, and a supremely large wormhole is seen in the distant at an unknown distance. A large metal spacecraft is seen exiting the wormhole. It is currently theorized that this spacecraft was approximately the size of Manhattan. An unidentified object around the sides of a human is seen being detached from the spacecraft, which appears to be an escape pod. Once it lands on the island, an entity exits it. The entity appears in an extremely large ringetang in stereotypical sailor's clothes, smoking a pipe and holding a finished Rubik's Cube in their hand. A necklace is seen around their neck. The entity speaks through American sign language, and speaks with the players for a short time. After 15 minutes, the entity re-enters the escape pod. It begins to fly back into the spacecraft. Eventually, several large objects that resemble anchors are shot out of the spacecraft and begin to impale the eel in the Great Leviathan, and begin to drag them up into the craft. Immediately afterwards, the game ends and Dr. Western and junior researcher Kim are rewarded the Mr. Eschatology win condition. Notable cards drawn. Card Color Red Card Title The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald Subtitle Do Not Come Near Lest Your Boat Be Your Own Tomb Type Structure Description A giant oil tanker which instantly destroys all ships that come near it. Cums equipped with other weaponry for other types of enemies, such as harpoons, cannons, torpedoes, etc. Stats 15 Attack 85 Defense 30 Hit Points Card Color Orange Card Title The SCP-S Midnight Jacket Subtitle The Terror of the Seas Type Supreme Divine Description Dead Foundations Write No Tales Stats Question Attack Question Defense Question Hit Points Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts Begin Log Dr. Western Jesus Christ Have Gone Blind D-1-A-8-6 Ah, fuck. Why the fuck did they have to shoot my eye? Junior Researcher Kim It shot my eye too, the hell. Dr. Western Look, here are some eye patches. Dr. Mester Yeah, this was definitely done on purpose, especially considering we're on an island in the middle of the ocean. Yar har, I guess. Dr. Western Damn, look at the size of that ship. I'm going over. J.R. Kim Er, did you just hear that loud? Dr. Mester, in the distance. Oh no, you ain't take this. J.R. Kim Fucking shit, it's pitch black. Dr. Western, I can still see the ship. Covering my back, I'm going over. Two small boats appear on the shore. They begin to charge at Dr. Western. J.R. Kim I swear I can hear something over in the distance. One of the boats successfully rams Dr. Western. He is flung over near the cargo ship. The boats appear to face towards Kim. J.R. Kim Shit Dr. Mester 1-A-8-6 Do you have anything to destroy the cargo ship? I've distracted them for now. D-1-A-8-6 Yeah, hold on a sec. Here we go. D-1-A-8-6 Place the card. Dr. Mester, did you hear that? It sounds like a foghorn. D-1-A-8-6 Did you say something? I was staring at the giant-ass ship that just appeared in front of us. J.R. Kim Draws the card. Oh ho ho, I hope you guys are ready to get demolished. The great Leviathan and the eel appear behind her. J.R. Kim Let's see you kill these guys. Dr. Mester is seen quickly running away from the wreck in D-1-A-8-6. D-1-A-8-6 Shit Dr. Western I got it. I got the card. It's called the SCP-S Midnight Jacket. And a description says, Dead foundations tell no tales. J.R. Kim Play it then quickly before Mester can attack back. Dr. Western plays the card. The foghorn is heard. And the wormhole is spotted in the distance. Dr. Mester Er... What did you do? Dr. Western, I have no idea. The escape pod from the spacecraft is seen ejecting and lands right next to Western Kim and Mester. Entity and sign language. Hello, you are from the Foundation, correct? J.R. Kim You can say that, yes, who are you? Entity and sign language, names bright, was setting sail in case we ever found our target. J.R. Kim Target Entity and sign language? Yes, madam. We call them the Woodpeckers. They've been tearing up the multiverse and plundering everything in sight. They've already plundered, what, five or six billion universes so far? We have been sent to destroy them. J.R. Kim Why do you need such a humongous spacecraft? Entity. First off, it's not a spacecraft, it's a dimensional craft. Second off, the Woodpecker ship is also extremely huge. The entity takes a puff from their pipe. Say, have you seen the Woodpeckers around here at all lately? J.R. Kim No, sir. Entity. Good, you got off lucky. The entity returns to their pod and begins to fly back up into the spacecraft. The eel and the Great Leviathan are seen being pulled by the ship. Dr. Messer? Did that monkey just take the eel and the Leviathan? Dr. Western. Looks like it.